I wrote this story just for fun because I'm tired of all the "Ashley or, Bella or, Samantha end up meeting the doctor" stories so I've decided to write a parody about it. Sorry if some of you don't get my humor. And this is very random, VERY RANDOM
Disclaimer- I still own nothing however maybe I should go look in a parallel world hmmm
10th doctor era after Voyage of the Damned and before Partners in crime.
"Like oh my god, you're the Doctor" a girl squealed as she stood outside of the TARDIS which had somehow just magically appeared in some unknown town in America.
"Um yea, that's me, The Doctor. Do I know you?" the Doctor asked.
He noticed that she was far too pretty to be anything other than special. She was tall, slim, had a great body, black hair and bright green eyes.
"I'm Stephanie Isabella Marie Swan Evans. Like that over-popular Mary-sue from Twilight. I'm perfect in every way" the girl said with a smile.
"Well for some weird reasons I have urge to invite you to come traveling with me. So would you like to come?"
"I would love too. I have been hoping for this my whole life."
They two of them got into the TARDIS and floated around the vortex for a while. The Doctor kept looking over at his newest companion with interest. He already knew that she was really pretty and she was most likely smart. He looked back to his readings for a moment before turning back to Stephanie; she most likely wasn't human either. The Doctor walked over to Stephanie and took her hands in his own. It was a perfect match for his.
"I know I've only known for you five minutes but I love you. You can save me from this dark depressing man I've become ever since I've lost…oh wait was her name? Lilly? No. Petunia? No that's not it either umm Dandelion? Still no oh wait Rose, yea rose that's her name"
"Oh Doctor I love you too" The doctor leaned in and kissed Stephanie passionately but he decided that they weren't ready for sex yet. That would be after an adventure. The doctor pulled back and went running over to the console already feeling so much better.
"So how about an adventure where for some unknown reason I become completely useless and you come bounding in saving the day?"
"Oh sounds great"
So they landed on what seemed like a completely peaceful planet and walked around for about five minutes before these weird looking aliens, they don't need descriptions because the only person worth describing is the wonderful Stephanie.
"They're Puffles" said Stephanie as they were running down a hallway hand in hand "An ancient race of aliens from the planet Pufflethisiscompleteshitious. They can only be killed by fire"
"And you know all of this how" The doctor asked while being pulled down the highway
"Oh didn't you know? I'm super smart and now things that normal humans wouldn't"
Stephanie pulled them into an empty room and got to building this ubber complex and only she can build blowtorch while The Doctor stood there and thought about her.
'Oh she is prefect, really pretty and really smart and I just love the way that our adventures and our survival fall into her hands. Maybe I'll ask her to marry me though maybe I should wait a few days. Yea in two days I'll take her out to this beautiful planet, I'll ask her to marry me and will have seven kids, all with human names. But of course before the wedding she'll have to come across a fob watch in her belongings so we could spend forever with each other'
The Doctor was rustled out of his thoughts by a sound of dying Puffles which sounded a lot like popping balloons.
"Come on let's get back to the TARDIS" Stephanie said while pulling him along.
"Oh I just loved the way that you saved the day"
They got back into the TARDIS and Stephanie piloted them into the vortex.
"You know how to pilot the TARDIS?" the Doctor asked amazed
"Yea it was just like I knew how too" Stephanie replied while dancing very sexily around the console flipping buttons.
"Oh I think I just fell in love with you more. Let's have sex" The doctor said while picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom.
Two days later on the beautiful planet of Maryious Sueios The Doctor asked the Perfect Stephanie to marry him and she said yes. They returned to earth and had a huge wedding. All of the Doctor's old companions were they and immediately fell in love with Stephanie. Captain Jack had of course fallen in love with her and it led to a fight going on between the Doctor and Jack which was stop by, who else, Stephanie. She told Jack kindly that she loved the Doctor but they could still be friends. The Doctor and Stephanie said good bye to everyone before they left in the TARDIS.
"Oh Doctor, Did I mention I found this the day before our wedding? I wonder if you could help me to figure out what it is" she said while holding out a fob watch to him.
"Oh this is wonderful, you are a secret time-lord and I bet you're a really powerful one too. So now I don't have to watch you wither and die which I thought you were going to do. Even the fear of you dying on me couldn't stop me from marrying you"
Meanwhile at the wedding reception
Martha, Donna, Captain Jack, and, even though they were trapped in the parallel world but still somehow made it to the wedding of the Doctor and Stephanie, Rose and Mickey sat with each other at an empty table, all of them nursing glass of wine.
"Does anyone else feel like they've been given retcon?" Jack asked, he was answered by the mumbled yeses from everyone else.
"I don't even remember how I got here. Last thing I remember was working in Torchwood with Mickey and next thing I know I'm here all dressed up for a wedding." Rose said taking a drink of really expensive wine that was provided at the wedding.
"I find it weird that we know nothing about this girl but yet we all seemed to love her" Martha added.
"And did you notice how perfect she was? She said her wedding vows in prefect Gallifreyan. That's just not normal" mickey said.
"And because of her I don't get to be a companion to the doctor" Donna said waving a useless script in the air before throwing it into a near-by trash can.
"She'll most likely stop the daleks with a wave of her hands" Martha said flipping through the script of the season final
"I mean at least Rose's story of defeating the daleks was more believable, I mean she would have been dead if she kept the power of the time vortex in her." The master said appearing out of nowhere.
"And I'm in love with the Doctor but I just step aside and allow him to get married to this unknown girl. I've been working years to get back to him and I don't even get a reunion" rose added with a sigh
"Wait, where the hell did you come from? You supposed to be dead." Jack said looking to the master.
"oh I was supposed to come back in the future but she's going to keep him on the right path so there be no need for me to be in a story forcing the doctor to regenerate" the master said popping open a bottle of wine.
"Yea and I won't exist" a man said appearing in a bowtie, a fez, and tweed jacket, sitting down next to the master.
"Who the hell are you?" Donna asked
"Oh I'm the 11th version of the doctor but they're going to come across a fountain of everlasting youth keeping him in his 10th version forever" 11 said while pouring himself a glass of wine.
"I know how you feel man, not existing really sucks" a man said appearing looking just like the doctor but dressed in a blue suit with a red undershirt.
"Now who the hell are you?" Martha asked.
"I'm meta-crisis doctor, 10.5 if you will. I was created from Donna touching the doctor's spare hand which was bubbling with regeneration energy that the doctor put there to stop himself from regenerating and keeping Rose happy" 10.5 replied.
"Oh this is getting ridiculous" Rose added with a huff.
"but yet because of this Stephanie person none of the correct future will happen because she'll be there to make sure everything is prefect" a woman said appearing in a black dress and red high heels.
"River good to see you again. Out of prison yet?" 11 said grinning at river.
"I have no idea what's going on but this" she said throwing her TARDIS shaped diary on the table "is blank"
"Who are you" Rose asked looking to the woman
"Spoilers, but you can call me River. I don't think we ever meet anyway. So I'm not doing any harm" River replied shrugging her shoulders and taking the Master's glass of wine.
"So we have to figure out what happened and set the story back on its right path" jack said while leaning back on in his chair.
"It's not so easy. I've heard stories of these creatures if you will. Mary-Sues. They have the ability to bend reality to their will. If we try to stop her we most likely with disappear with a wave of her fingers" 11 added waving his fingers and taking a sip of wine.
"Then we kill her" Donna added
"Immortality" 10.5 replied
"Throw her out of the TARDIS while it's in the vortex?" Martha suggested.
"Nah she'll most likely appear in some random time and because she is so prefect she'll become a queen while the doctor looks for her endlessly" river replied.
"Let's face it she's unstoppable" Mickey added while thumping his head on the table.
"Oh come on that's no way for us to act" the master said trying to lighten the mood.
"I say we all just get drunk on this really expensive wine that was supplied by the super-rich Stephanie and dance like idiots" Jack said
A mixture of here here's were heard around the table.
"Would you like to dance?" rose asked 11
"Sure we never did get to dance again after big ears and leather" 11 said jumping up and taking her to the dance floor.
"We get married in the future, care to dance" Mickey asked Martha
"Sure what the hell"
The night went on with them getting really drunk and dancing like morons before waking up in Cardiff in the torchwood three hub. The surprising thing was they were all still dress but more surprisingly was the fact that Jack was still dressed.
A few months later inside the TARDIS
"Guess what I'm pregnant" Stephanie added while they were making out in the library
"Oh that wonderful, we've only been together for 2 months but I know I can spend forever with you" the Doctor said
"Yea well were going to have a big family and we are going to take all the kids adventuring with us but they will never get hurt because I'll always be there to save the day."
"Sounds wonderful. You are just so perfect nothing will ever break us up" the doctor added before they went back to their over-detailed activities.
"This has to end, I just got the birth announcement of their seventh child" River said throwing down the birth announcement and picture of the new baby on the desk
It had been five years since the wedding and the would haves and would bes were living in a mansion in Cardiff given to them by Stephanie.
"Oh look it that perfect baby girl, just like her mother" the Master said with utter distaste, though Stephanie stopped the constant drumming in his head it made him more miserable because he couldn't drown out the sounds of the house mates.
"Did you hear that she stopped the cracks in the universe, destroyed the Pandorica and found a way to travel between parallel worlds" Rose added
"yea and she crashed in poor Amelia's back yard but told the girl quiet rudely that she couldn't come traveling with her and the doctor because they already had a family of their own" 11 added.
"Oh come off it there's nothing we can do might as well enjoy the life we've been given" Jack said
"Yea nothing better than living with a bunch of forever young immortals in the mansion in CARDIFF! Of the entire places we could live it had to be BLOODY CARDIFF!" Donna added
"We don't age, we don't die, all because out dear Stephanie thought she would be nice to us lower companions" Rose added
"I never got to be a companion because of the bloody tart" Donna added
"I got my whole future rewritten because of her so don't feel too bad sweetie" River replied
"What is it with you and the word sweetie? You use it with everyone, Jack, Donna, that weird hobo that looks through our trash every Tuesday" 10.5 added while his fingers were stuck in a marmalade jar.
"What about that hobo? Don't be mean to him he's my Saturday night shag" Jack said entering the room
"Oh my god, too much information" 11 said trying to keep down his fish fingers and custard.
"We've become nothing more than a really screwed up family" Mickey said entering the room with Martha
"Well we would have been different but no that little perfect Stephanie had to come along and change everything" the master said while sitting down
"Now we live here and did I mention, IN BLOODY CARDIFF! I need to slap somebody" Donna reached over and slapped 10.5 who still had his fingers in the marmalade jar.
"What the hell did I do?"
"You just piss me off; you look too much like him"
"Gee thanks, but you have to admit I do look good" 10.5 said while running the fingers of his free hand through his hair.
Donna reached over and slapped him again and then slapped 11 just for the hell of it.
"What did I do" 11 asked shocked
"Nothing, I just wanted to slap you, and will you take off the ridiculous thing you call a fez"
"Fezzes are cool" 11 said while fixing his fez
Donna and river shared a look before Donna ripped the fez off of his head and threw it into the air. River pulled out a gun and blew it to pieces. Everyone else laugh
"I hate all of you." 11 said before pulling out a fez from under the couch and putting it on "good thing is a got a bunch of these hiding around the house"
"Damn it" Donna said under her breath.
4575 years later
The Doctor and Stefanie were overlooking New Gallifrey from their balcony on their way to beautiful and overly fairytale castle.
"Oh darling you just so prefect, we rebuilt the time-lord civilization, you helped me find new Gallifrey where we rule as king and queen and you are having our 765 child. Nothing can go wrong"
"I'm so glad you somehow landed in my small American home town and took me traveling with you. Unlocking my true power as a super powerful part time lord part goddess and having me forever."
Somewhere in a parallel world.
Steven Moffat awoke in his bed screaming something about Mary-sues and immortals living in bloody Cardiff. He looked around before realizing it was all just a horrible nightmare. However because of his traumatizing nightmare Doctor who filming had to be moved and no one with the name of Mary or Sue were allowed to work with Doctor Who. Steven Moffat spent the rest of his day as head-writer in a flat but he became really bad after refusing to write anything remotely close to a mary-sue he was replaced three years later after the BBC got fed up of his scripts always being late or needing to be rewritten.
Some people say that if you mention the words Mary-sue around him he will stop what he is doing and curl up into a ball as he relives that nightmare all over again. Some people wonder if he will ever become normal again but most people know that Steven Moffat will always be haunted of that nightmare.