These Days: Stop The World, I Wanna Get Off!

Type of Story: Series (These Days: )
Rating: PG-13 (Language)

Feedback: Emily_joyner@ureach.com  (Please?? I love feedback!!)
Characters: Most all from the X-Men movies.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything whatsoever, of X-Men or of the music or produces, Actors.  I just play with them for a short little while and then send them back to where they belong.

"Would you please stop that?!"

I glared at Ororo as she laughed so hard, she fell out of her desk chair and onto the floor, again.

"You know, I fail to see what's so funny about this!"

Ororo just giggles and holds her sides.

"I mean, how would you feel is Bobby or someone was wondering if you wore bikinis or thongs?!

She just laughs harder, again.

"Know what, 'Ro?  You're just a big help, aren't you?!  Thank you so much!"

I stomp off, leaving Ororo on the floor.  I figured she'd have a heart attack from laughing so much, at my expense.  I'm also thinking that the Professor wouldn't appreciate his Weather Goddess dying from cardiac arrest.  So I guess I should leave.  Yep! – that's me: Mr. Humanitarian.  Or would that be Mr. Mutantarian…?  Is that a word?  Where does baby oil come from?  These are life's questions to ponder someday, when I have the time.  In the meantime, I need sanctuary from teenagers' hormones.  Quasimodo ain't got nothin' on me right now!  Too bad there's not a bell tower around here…

I look at my small mountain of tests to grade.  Sometimes, I hate the end of the school year.  It seems my seniors have more and more tests as time goes by.  At least Marie, Jubilee and Kitty are getting the hang of things in my classes… when they're paying attention, that is.

I gaze at my tests and I really do fight the urge to run away screaming.  I look at them and picture them spontaneously bursting into flames.  Hey! – I wouldn't have to grade them, then.  Why can't my students ever use the ole, "my dog at my homework" or even something more exotic like, "my mutation got out of hand and vaporized my assignment!"? 

*Sigh….*

Nope, not my students.  My kids have to be responsible, they do their homework and pop quizzes and show up for classes.  Dammit!

Let's get started on these…  Hmmm… do I start with the Juniors? Or the Seniors?  Let's start with the Seniors.  Their tests are always so amusing!

I grab Kitty's first and immediately groan.  You know, how is it that she can master not falling through the floor when she walks, but when it comes to factoring a trinomial, she's powerless?  I mean, really! – How hard is it?!  I have a degree in Math fer cryin' out loud!  It can't be that hard!!

*Sigh*

…Here comes the Alexander Graham Bell curves of all time, I can just feel it!

Next test, Jubilee's.  Hmmm… surprisingly, she got most of them right.  She must have studied by herself and not with Peter this time.  (I've noticed she does better when she's not concerned with flirting.)

And now, Miss Marie's!  Ahhh… what a little Einstein.  In short, she knows nothing about Math!  She's a genius with Science and Biology, English she's a regular Flaubert, and (thanks to Magneto and Logan) she can run circles around most (including the Professor) in History.  But when it comes to Math, not a chance. 

*Sigh*

I need a drink.

I head down to the kitchen, to the secret stash.  It's so secret, everyone but myself knew about it until I caught Bobby and John in it two months ago.  It's amazing.  Fearless Leader my… well, you know what I mean.

I hear some voices coming from the kitchen and I pause…  Who else is up at this hour?  I thought it was just us Uptight-Control-Pain-In-The-Butt-Leader type people that were insomniacs.  Guess I was wrong.  There's a first for everything.  But seriously, who else is up at this gawdawful hour?!

I peek around the corner (I can honestly say, I have never felt more ridiculous than sneaking in my own house…) and see Jubilee, Kitty and (Man! – did she turn into a beautiful lady when we weren't looking!) Marie!  Get a hold of yourself, Old Man!  You're the teacher!

*Sigh*

"What are you all doing up?!  It's past curfew!"

"Nothing, Mr. Summers.  We're going to bed now!"

I can't help but notice that as Kitty answers; Marie blushes insanely and looks anywhere but at me…  Hmmm…  You know, you gotta hand it to Southern Women.  They do everything ladylike.

"Well, get to bed!  I won't say anything this time.  You're Seniors.  But remember, you're setting an example for the other kids."

Kitty looks at me and smiles and says, "Sure thing, sir!"

I notice that Jubilee smirks and Marie frantically shakes her head.  What's going on here??  Hmmm…

As they file past, I hear Jubilee say to Marie, "The object of your fantasy is here… throw him on the floor and find out if they're cotton or silk boxers!"

…forgive me, I can't resist.

I lean over and say to Marie, as she passes me, "They're silk, Marie.  Black silk!"

She looks at me, smiles sexily, and says, "I know, I saw your dirty laundry today."  And proceeds to walk out of the kitchen.

*Blink, blink*

Did that just happen?

Stop the world, I wanna get off!