Title: All those boys lost in time, all those girls with tragic smiles
Summary: She loves him more than he will ever know. He loves her more than he will ever show. Five/Vanya, M for stuff.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Umbrella Academy
17 years ago
Five woke up to a sudden hunger. Why was he so hungry again? Oh, right, he was too busy over-thinking his formulas and equations for his newest project, so he didn't eat properly during dinner. He had been playing with the thought of being able to move through time the same way he could through space for a while now. It was thrilling, and he devoted most of his spare time to it. His dad didn't look too convinced by the whole idea, but it only served to make Five dig deeper into the new challenge. He was always a bit rebellious with the things he was told it was not possible to accomplish.
He got out of the bed and went to the kitchen. The whole house was quiet so he tried to make as little noise as possible as he made himself a peanut butter sandwich with marshmallows on it. Allison always looked grossed out by his choice of food, but he liked it the most. As he was eating it, he wondered what else he must have missed during the dinner.
Once he was done, he put the plates into the sink. He didn't want to risk making noise cleaning them up and disturbing someone in the house. By someone, he meant Dad. God forbid he had to listen to one of his lectures again or get punished. It was obvious their dad wasn't the loving parent type. That much Five had known since he was a kid, but at times he felt like he was more their handler than teacher. Sometimes the boy couldn't help but feel like they were lab rats, ready to be killed for the right purpose. Superhero bullshit or not.
Five teleported into the hallway near his bedroom after he was done eating. He was about to enter his room when he suddenly heard something and stopped. He turned around, but the hallway was empty as before. Still, he was sure he heard a noise, like someone had gasped or cried out a bit.
He had listened carefully for a moment to the silence of the night, when he once again heard the noise, coming from Vanya's room.
He frowned and started to slowly walk toward her room, now hearing the noises clearly. He stopped in front of her room, unsure of what to do. It wasn't a habit for him to go in one of his siblings' room. In fact he was pretty sure he had never entered Vanya's room before.
With his hand on the handle, he debated if it was wise to just barge in. Maybe he could just knock first and -…
"No please!"
He didn't bother with the handle and just teleported inside. Of course since he wasn't familiar with her room, he literally crashed into her desk, causing Vanya to let out a startled noise and wake up, looking helplessly around.
"What – no…"
"It's just me," he said quickly, swallowing, a bit unsure about what to do now that he actually was in her room. He had heard her struggling, and it sounded like she was in trouble. But now it was clear she was just having a bad dream, and he...well, he felt a bit uneasy at being in her room.
"You...uh, I think you had a bad dream," he told her, watching her figure in the darkness of the room. It wasn't as dark as it usually was, so he could clearly see most of it and her sitting on the bed.
Vanya was still breathing heavily, with one hand pressed against her chest. She looked so panicked, which was an odd, since until now Five mostly saw her looking a bit like a robot. If he hadn't seen her bleed that one time she fell down the stairs, he would have even thought their dad built her like he did Mom.
"Are you alright?" asked Five, slowly coming closer to her bed.
She shook her head. "I can't...I can't stop dreaming about the dark room."
"What?" he asked, and she looked away.
"It's nothing. Uh, you can go to bed. I'm sorry for waking you up."
He felt strange. On one hand, she was giving him a way out if he wanted it, but he wasn't sure he wanted to. At least not completely. He wasn't the type to discuss feelings and emotions, but she just looked so shaken up. It was too much for him for some reason. He didn't want to see her like this.
"Well...what is it?" he asked, a bit impatient and nervous about what it would mean for her to tell him. If she opened up, he wasn't sure what would happen. But he felt himself growing anxious about it.
"It's just...it's just I've been having these dreams about being locked up inside a dark room, with no way out. All alone. Just me," she said, putting her hands over her eyes.
"Oh," he said, feeling unsure about what to do about it. "How long?"
Vanya put her hands down. "Since Allison rumoured me to go into the closet, and I had that...panic attack."
His eyes widened. "That was over a month ago."
She looked down at her hands. "I know." He looked at the door and then back at her.
"If you want you can go. I'll try not to be so loud," she said, sounding remorseful, as if she was responsible for being quiet when she was having nightmares, so she wouldn't wake up her siblings.
He frowned down at her. "It's not that." He wasn't sure what it was, but it wasn't that. He walked up to her. "If you like, I could stay for a bit. Until you fall asleep?"
"It's okay. I'll just stay up by myself," she said, and shrugged her shoulders.
"You can't stay up. It's like three in the morning," he told her.
"It wouldn't be the first time."
He opened his mouth to ask, when suddenly he remembered something he noticed before, but his brain didn't consider relevant at the time. Vanya looked tired. She always looked stoic and sad or humble, so it would be easy to miss. But now she looked tired, exhausted even, with dark shadows under her eyes. Had no one really noticed?
"When you wake up from a nightmare, you just stay awake?" he asked as she laid back down.
"It's nothing. Good night, Five." He watched her silently for a moment. Well, that just wouldn't do.
"What's the worst part? The dark or being alone?"
She didn't answer for a moment. He wondered if she even would, just before he finally heard her reply in a whisper. "Being alone."
He didn't waste time as he walked to her bed. "Move over a bit."
"What are you doing?" she asked, already starting to shift to let him on the bed.
"I will just lie down with you for a bit. Try to fall asleep with me in the room. Maybe your subconscious will realize you are not alone, and it won't trigger you and cause a nightmare," he said, already laying down next to her, taking half of the space.
"Good night," he told her and closed his eyes. He could tell she was still sitting up looking at him, waiting for him to open his eyes or maybe talk about it. But that was the last thing he wanted, since he wasn't sure why he really was doing it in the first place. Maybe he just wanted to be a better a brother. Maybe he hated seeing her like this. Maybe he wasn't just a selfish smartass. Either way, he felt her lay down eventually, their shoulders touching on the small bed of hers.
It was easier said than done to sleep next to someone for the first time in his life. When Five closed his eyes, and Vanya laid down, he became all too aware about the fact that she was there with him (or he was with her). It was hard not to notice her breathing or how close their hands were.
"It's a bit weird," she mumbled suddenly, and he opened his eyes.
"A little bit, yes."
She shifted again now, facing him. He saw that her eyes were open, looking into his, but she didn't say anything else, just snuggled deeper into her pillow. He watched her for a bit, wondering if he shouldn't close his eyes, too, before her arm suddenly went under his and over his side.
He blinked at her, waiting for her to pull it shyly away like she usually did when she made physical contact with another person without their permission, but from the sound of her rhythmic breathing, it was obvious she had fallen sleep.
Great. How was he supposed to fall asleep with her arm over his side like this?
He sighed a bit before he closed his eyes again. He would just have to figure out a way.
When the painfully loud alarm went off, for a second he thought they had an early morning mission. However when his eyes fully adjusted to the world around, him he realized it was morning, and he had to get ready for breakfast. Vanya, who also shot up with the sound of the dreadful thing, looked just as surprised that they both slept together so soundly in the end.
"G-good morning," she said nervously, looking away. Her hair was a bit of a mess.
He reached out and tugged her bangs a bit, without permission or second thought, "Good morning. I take it you slept better." She smiled but tried to hide it behind her hair like she always did.
"Yes, thank you. I guess you were right. When I knew you were here, I slept okay." He nodded and let his hand fall to his lap before he groaned, a bit annoyed and stood up.
"We have to get ready."
She stood up just as he was about to teleport to his room. "Five?" He looked at her. "Thank you." He winked at her before he vanished.
Once inside his room, he didn't spare a second thought about the night before, and immediately started to run around his room to get dressed, so Monocle wouldn't have a field day with him.
The day went, on filled with studies and practice, his personal project, and some quality family time. Before he knew it, he was heading to bed again.
He stopped by the bathroom when he spotted Vanya brushing her teeth. He was tempted to ask her if she wanted him to come sit with her tonight, but Luther than came in, asking her to hurry up because he needed to pee.
He left them and went to bed instead. But something kept causing him to wake up every once in a while, and this time it wasn't hunger. When it happened again, he just sat up and listened for a moment, half-expecting Klaus and Ben to laugh somewhere, telling him it was a prank or something. They both had a terrible sense of humor when they were together.
A couple of moments had passed before he heard an echo through the hallway. Without a second thought, Five teleported to Vanya's room, making sure he wouldn't hit the desk this time. He found her on her bed, only this time she was still asleep, thrashing about and crying out every once in a while like someone was murdering her.
He ran to her side and immediately started to shake her away. "Vanya? Come on, Vanya, wake up! It's just a dream!"
She woke up then, grabbing his pajamas, with her eyes wide, "F-five!"
"Hey, it's just a bad dream. You're okay," he told her, and brushed her shoulders a bit where he'd his hands before. She looked away breathing heavily, sweaty and terrified.
"I-I had the dream again. I was inside the dark room, all alone, and no one came to see me…and you all forgot about me, and I was left there all alone, and -…"
"Hey, hey, what are you saying?" he asked with a desperate chuckle. "Vanya, that would never happen. Don't be silly. I will always come for you if you are in trouble. We all would." She let go of his pajama shirt and looked away. He could tell she didn't believe him, and that made him a bit upset.
"Hey, come on, it's me. You can trust me," he told her, and was surprised to find he actually meant it. He had never felt like this before. He had never felt the need to protect her like this, but he had never seen her like this either.
She looked at him for a moment, and something in his face, even in the dark, must have told her it was the truth, because she nodded. "Okay. Will you lay with me a bit? You don't have to stay until morning. I don't want you to be late again."
"Don't worry about it. I will just wake up before the alarm. It's not a problem," he told her and brushed her arm one last time before he let her go and they got under the covers.
Now
He hadn't meant to stay. No…no, he only wanted to soothe her worries by acting like he would stay. He would wait until he heard her go to bed, and then leave. He couldn't stay. He had eight days to stop the apocalypse and save everyone. He had too much work to do. He couldn't stay. He couldn't put her in danger, especially if the Commission came for him again, and they most certainly would.
After she left the room, he could hear her walking around her bathroom. Her steps were still humble and soft, as if even stepping on the wood floor was something she should be grateful to be allowed to do.
You deserve this. You belong here.
He remembered how annoyed he got whenever she acted like she wasn't even worthy to breathe the same air as he and his siblings. It was their dad's fault. He made her feel like that.
Five had read her book, and seeing how she was today - she was still the same. He found it unsettling, and yet all so very calming.
He laid down for a moment, just listening to her movement, knowing that she was there. He would just wait until Vanya went to bed, and then sneak out. It shouldn't be a problem. He could also have teleported without making any noise. However when he was building his plan, he failed to think about a few things. Like he hadn't had a decent sleep since he joined the Commission. Like he hadn't had a soft bed or couch to sleep on when he had jumped to the future and got stuck there. Like how Vanya's soft steps were almost rhythmical, calming everything inside his mind for a moment. Yes, he hadn't considered many things, such as obstacles for his escape plan.
Five closed his eyes, and just thought back to the doughnut shop and the tracking device he had gotten rid of. Maybe he could stay for a moment. One second, he was sure he heard Vanya's bed crackle with a new weight on it, signaling she finally went to bed. Then the next he could smell smoke and ash, the distinguishing smell which surrounded him all those years he had been trapped in the post-apocalyptic future.
He gasped, opening his eyes, only to find himself back in that hellhole. Fire and destruction were everywhere, and Five felt like he couldn't breathe. He started running. He ran past the ruined buildings and loneliness, which hung heavy in the air because he knew he was the last person alive on earth. He rushed to the site of the Academy and found his siblings buried beneath the rubble, just laying there looking like they had died only yesterday or that morning. Only this time there was a fifth body among them. Lifeless and small, Vanya was laying on the ground next to the rest of their siblings, like a broken doll.
He fell to his knees, his shaking hands trying to reach her, to take her into his arms, while crying in agony.
"FIVE!" Her desperate shout woke him up, and he breathed heavily, as his heart felt like it was trying burst out of his chest. His vision cleared, and he realized where he was. Five was still in Vanya's small, shitty apartment, with her on her knees in front of him as he sat up. He slowly came back to reality, with Vanya's hands on his cheek and shoulder, as he gripped her shirt and wrist.
"It's okay," her voice was as soft as ever, while her face was so worried and alive.
He didn't know what to do, so he just sat there holding on to her, trying to somehow calm down and not look so pathetic and desperate.
She's alive. It's just a bad dream. She's alive and here, and your siblings are alive and here. There is no apocalypse. Everyone is alive. You still have eight days. You still have eight days to fix all of this.
When he heard her softly groan, he let her go, realizing he was crushing her wrist, he was holding it so tightly.
"Sorry -…"
She shook her head, and before he could pull away from her completely, she pulled him into a tight embrace. Five wasn't a hugger. He never was. He was always annoyed when Klaus jumped on him, or Luther tried one of his bear hugs. With Allison and Mom it just felt awkward. But with Vanya it felt weird only at the beginning. He didn't know where to put his hands, and he felt something warm and uncomfortable in his stomach. But all in all, after a few moments, it started to fee nice.
Vanya might look different, but when she put her skinny arms around him and pressed her chin against his shoulder, he really did feel thirteen again, actually thirteen. He hugged her close and closed his eyes, knowing that when he opened them again, she would still be in his arms,alive.
"It's okay. It was just a bad dream," she mumbled into his ear. He hid his face against her shoulder, while his heartbeat calmed the fuck down. He chuckled a bit, remembering the times when he had been the one telling her the same thing, then they had been kids, and she had started having nightmares about being locked in small spaces. He had told her she was being silly for being afraid, that he would always make sure she was okay and safe. He was so sure of himself back then, so sure that he would keep his word. Before he got stuck in the future, with no idea how Vanya's life ended.
He didn't know how much times passed before they parted, but he couldn't look into her eyes after. He probably woke her up with his thrashing about and screaming her name, and he knew she had rehearsal in the morning. He needed to leave.
"I'm going to go." He got up, but she stopped him by blocking his way and putting her hand on his shoulder, then taking it off, hesitating.
"Come get in the bed with me."
He looked at her, half-expecting her to say that she was joking or thinking she had lost her mind. But because of the caring and worried look on her face, he knew it was neither of the two.
"Please? It will help. It helped me, remember?"
Of course he remembered. He was the one who had suggested it the first time it had happened. The first time, he had woken her up by accident, and the time after that he was scared when he found her, thrashing about and crying like someone was murdering her. All because Allison had forced her to get into a small closet.
They had been thirteen, and it had been an accident. She broke a perfume bottle of Allison's, and the next thing they knew she was screaming and begging the girl to let her out of the closet. When he had gotten to the room, she was already in Klaus's arms, Mom giving Allison a disappointed look as their dad had come in and told Allison to come with him.
He hadn't been looking at any of them though. He had been looking at Vanya. She had looked incredibly fragile, standing there staring at nothing, still crying.
Now he looked up at the woman in front of him and gave her a short nod, not able to say anything at that moment.
She stood up and grabbed the extra pillow and blanket, which had fallen to the ground. She carried them into her bedroom, and he very unsure about following her. He hadn't even wanted to sleep on her couch, and now there he was in the bedroom.
"You might want to lose the tie and jacket," she told him, pointing at his neck for good measure.
He removed it, putting the items on her desk chair, still debating whether or not he should just apologize and teleport himself away before she could to stop him.
Whoa, I'm really a shitty person.
She laid down first, and he drug his feet toward her bed just as she turned on the small desk lamp. He was careful as he laid down, as though he was afraid the bed could break under his weight. He waited for a couple of minutes, as though he was making sure it was okay before he turned to his side, facing her. Somehow he was not surprised to find she was facing him as well. He could easily see her eyes in the dark.
"I missed you," she whispered. Her arm was suddenly under his over his side. It made him want to smile a little bit. Some things never changed. In that very moment in the dark bedroom, with Vanya on the bed next to him, it felt like nothing had changed, like they were still both thirteen, and he was just helping to keep her nightmares at bay.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but once he was positive she was asleep he whispered back,
"I missed you, too, Vanya. All the time."
17 years ago
Five was almost asleep when he heard his door open and shut quickly.
"You're getting better at sneaking around," he said, too exhausted to get up and look at her. Their dad had practically tried to actually kill them today with practice and tests. He had barely made it to his room after he brushed his teeth, half-expecting to just drop on the floor in the hallway.
"Yeah, I had to wait because I thought I heard someone outside my room," said Vanya as she pulled off her shoes and climbed into the bed to the side closer to the wall. He would have moved over for her, but he was too tired. So he just remained still as Vanya got under the covers and put her arm under his.
"You were really great today."
He smiled a bit, "No talking, just sleeping." When she chuckled, he forced himself to open his eyes just to see if she was smiling.
"Good night, Five."
"Good night, Vanya."
They had been sharing the same bed for over a month now. Usually he was the one who came to her room, since it was easier for him to teleport, but on rare occasions she was the one to sneak in. He had gotten so used to her presence, that he couldn't imagine going back to his empty room again.
After so many mornings of waking up early just to get back to his room before the alarm went off, it had become a routine for him.
He opened his eye, seeing how peaceful his sister looked, and actually felt bad about having to wake her up and get her to her room. But what was the alternative? He easily pulled her arm from under his and sat up. As he did so, he immediately felt the presence of someone else in the room. Someone was watching them. He spun around, only to find their dad standing in the doorway, looking very angry at them.
"Wake her up, then come see me in my office, Number Five," he said in the coldest voice he had ever used. Five felt his heart speed up even, because he didn't want to go. He wasn't afraid of his dad. He was just usually annoyed and upset with how he acted and how he treated them. But in that very moment he was afraid. He was very afraid.
"Now, Number Five," he said. Five knew he was holding his anger back.
He heard the door opened as his father left the room, and Five looked over at still-sleeping Vanya. After a moment of hesitation, he got out of the bed. What was the point in waking her up when their father had asked only to see him? He would probably yell at her as well later, but for now she could use a few extra minutes of unwittingly blissful sleep.
Smirking to himself, he walked from the room, toward his dad's wrath.
A.N: Whoa, first story with no OC well expect the OCness of Vanya and Five in this story. Sorry if it sucks. If you want leave a review. The first chapter is NOW Edited by BETA PinkTribeChick.