Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned. Everything belongs to JoRo and WarnerBros. This is purely a fan piece and is not intended to infringe on any copyrights.
A/N: Hello, readers. I had written this once before, but halfway through chapter two, I decided on some major chapter changes. As such, I've edited chapter one to be more canon, and in doing so had to delete and start over. I lost all of my reviews, which sucks, but hopefully this version will be better for all of you. I plan on getting chapter two out soon, but I can't guarantee speedy updates after that.
Reviews are awesome. You can also talk to me on tumblr (jamespotter-thechaser) about the story. Enjoy!
- Sie
There were whispers of a war. Whispers saved for private after-dinner discussions, for the subject was one to be avoided in public discourse; much like politics, though this war was more than just political. Soon, these whispers would become cries and the wizarding world would find itself broken, nearly beyond repair. Two young wizards would lose their lives protecting their son, who would save their kind twice from the unexplainable horrors of a wizarding world ruled by dark magic.
But for now, there was only Lily Evans and James Potter and whispers of a war to come.
Lily Evans sat in an empty train compartment. She stared out of the window, watching Muggle-London fly past her. A twinge of sadness pulled her heart back to her home. For the first time since she was eleven, her desire to be at Hogwarts was clouded by grief. She shifted her attention to the empty seat across from her and found herself biting her lip.
The compartment door crashed open, pulling only Lily's eyes away from the seat before her. A mop of black hair and disheveled robes stumbled into the doorway.
"Lily!" James Potter was out of breath. "There you are! I've been looking for you. They need you in the prefects' compartment, remember? Hey - are you okay?"
James had been speaking very fast, but now slowed with a sense of concern. Lily realized her brow was furrowed and her teeth still dug into her lower lip. She snapped back into prefect mode and instantaneously felt panicked. How could I have forgotten the first prefect meeting?
"Right! I'm sorry, I guess I forgot…" She fell back out of focus, trailing off to her thoughts of home. "Right," she repeated. "Sorry."
James stood awkwardly in the door frame. At the same second, James and Lily realized who they were alone with. James immediately started running his hands through his hair and adjusted his stance into what he hoped was a cool lean. Lily rolled her eyes.
"Right, well…" James struggled for words. "The prefects' meeting…"
"-I'll be there. Just give me a minute."
James opened his mouth, but then seemingly decided against replying. Instead, he backed out of the compartment, leaving Lily to her thoughts.
Lily glanced back out of the window. The train had picked up even more speed and if she stopped focusing her eyes, the scenery became a green blur. It made her a little dizzy. The young witch looked down at her hands, which she had ignored this entire time. In them was a small folded letter. She unfolded the parchment and glanced over the familiar handwriting, without reading the actual words. She had them memorized by now, anyway.
She looked up at the open compartment door. The prefects' meeting. Very carefully, she folded the letter up and placed it inside her robes. She stood and inhaled deeply. Stop thinking about him, she thought over and again until she was confident enough to leave the empty cabin.
Closing the door behind her, she had almost forgotten the letter completely.
The relief was short lived. Lily had all but run to the prefect compartment, thrown open the door, and suddenly twenty-three sets of eyes were on here. She was the only one standing, aside from the Head Boy, Frank Longbottom, and the Head Girl, Alice Brand, who had clearly been interrupted by Lily's entrance. She avoided eye contact and slid into the seat next to Remus Lupin, her fellow sixth year Gryffindor prefect.
"Glad you could make it," Remus joked under his breath.
"Glad you bothered to come get me yourself," Lily hissed back.
"James vol–"
But Remus was cut off by Frank Longbottom clearing his throat quite loudly, directing their attention to the front of the cabin. He winked at the pair of Gryffindors and Lily recognized Frank's version of a warning. She sat quietly while Alice proceeded to introduce the duties of a prefect to the fifth years and again while Frank explained the new rules for the year. (Lily noticed that while Remus was paying attention, he looked fairly occupied in thought. Probably looking for loopholes or finding ways to break the new rules in record time, Lily guessed.) Aside from Remus, the redhead avoided looking at the faces of her fellow prefects. Instead, she stared intently at the Head Boy and Girl while they spoke, only looking away to stare at her now empty hands. Finally, they were given slips of parchment with their House's dormitory password written on them and were excused. Some fifth years lingered behind to ask Frank and Alice questions, but Lily wasted no time bolting for the door. The reason for this became obvious in her failed escape. She had only taken a few steps into the corridor, when she was cut off by a scrawny student with scraggly black hair. The silver and green on his robes had seen much better days. Severus Snape looked even more pitiful than the last time Lily had seen him.
They stood there, staring at each other, for a moment that seemed to last forever. Lily felt her face flush, then burn. Severus still didn't speak. He wasn't searching for words – he'd practiced this moment in his head all summer – he just couldn't bring himself to say them. His eyes pleaded with Lily to know what he wanted to tell her.
Lily knew exactly what Severus would say and thus refused to meet his gaze. She, too, had anticipated this moment all summer, though she had hoped it wouldn't be forced on her in a tiny train corridor. She waited for him to speak, just long enough so that she could feel justified in leaving. His eyes dug into her, but no words came out, so she stepped past him, wanting to go back to her lonely compartment and disappear.
"Lily…"
She turned slowly on her heel and looked back at Snape blankly.
"I-I'm sorry," he said, looking her square in the eyes. "You have to believe that I'm sorry."
Lily said nothing. Severus paused. She thought that if this had been the Sev and Lily of one year ago, maybe he would have allowed himself to beg for forgiveness, but he knew now that he didn't really deserve it.
"Did you get my letter?"
"Yes." She reached in her robes pocket and fingered the letter gingerly.
"Did you read it?"
"Yes."
"Lily, please. I can't do this if you won't talk to me." Snape really was desperate now. He knew exactly how stubborn (not to mention how cold) Lily could be when she wanted.
"And what exactly are you trying to do, Sev? Apologize?"
"Yes–"
"Well, fine! You've apologized. That doesn't change anything between us. You've been repeating the same thing since the end of last year. 'I'm sorry, it slipped out,' and 'I didn't mean it,' and 'How can you throw away our friendship after one mistake?' and it's getting old, Sev. It's getting really old." Lily looked at the broken face of her former friend and continued. "Because the Severus I was friends with would have never called me what you did. And I tried to ignore the rumors about you lately, because I hoped you were better than that. Since when are you friends with Rosier? And Mulciber? You've changed and calling me a Mudblood in front of half the school last year just confirmed what I had already thought."
"Lily–"
"You made your decision a long time ago, Severus. No begging, no…letter, is going to change that. I can't keep making excuses for you. I can't and I won't."
She turned as quickly as she could and took long strides down the hallway, leaving a much deflated Severus Snape behind. The rest of the walk was a blur and she ended up in her same empty compartment.
She wanted to lie on the floor, to melt into it and fade away. But Lily carefully and skillfully climbed onto the seat, right foot first, and sat hugging her knees to her chest. She looked around the empty compartment and felt that this is what the rest of her time at Hogwarts might be like. Though many people liked Lily Evans, it was another thing entirely to be someone's friend, and she had just permanently severed the best friend she'd had since she found out she was magic. She felt a very complete kind of loneliness.
For the remainder of the train ride, Lily buried her head into her knees, and allowed herself to cry.
The Marauders' compartment was shockingly calm. James sat on the floor, organizing the new Chocolate Frog cards he'd gotten off of the food trolley. Sirius Black, his best friend, took up an entire bench by lying across it on his back, as he flipped through the pages of Quidditch Monthly. Across from him, taking up much of the other bench, was Peter Pettigrew, a small boy who laid down halfway on the seat and half against the wall. He was fast asleep.
Their initial summer catch-up chat had been short, due to Sirius having moved in with the Potters near the start of the summer and Remus being preoccupied with his prefects' meeting. While Peter was their friend, his home life was rather dull and mostly consisted of taking care of his mother (and though they'd never admit it, the other three admired him deeply for that). James often thought that if the other students actually knew the four boys, scenes like this would just seem natural. Beyond the pranks and rule-breaking, they were just content with being around each other. They fit together.
The final piece to the puzzle finally opened the compartment door and the only part of the scene that changed was Sirius dropping his magazine on his face trying to turn a page.
"Frightfully exciting in here, aren't we?" Remus mused, as he lifted Peter's feet and dropped them to the floor. The small boy jumped up in his seat and fumbled for his wand.
"Merlin! It's just you, Moony. Why'd you have to go and wake me up? I was having this lovely dream about Amy Bones and –"
"And that's exactly why I woke you up. Honestly, you can't save those kinds of dreams for when you're in your dorm bed with curtains around it?" He grinned at Peter, who proceeded to smack him in the head.
"Oi! Watch it Wormtail!"
"Gentlemen, please." Sirius had stood and was stretching his lengthy limbs. "No need for violence so soon into the school year."
"The school year hasn't even begun, Sirius."
"Right! So no need to kill each other yet! And seeing as the school hasn't started, I can't really get in trouble…" Sirius removed an old silver cigarette case from his robes.
"On the train? Really, Sirius?"
"Can't exactly step outside now, can I, Moony?" Sirius smirked as he lit a cigarette, inhaled, and blew the smoke in Remus' face.
"Couldn't kick the smoking habit over the summer, then, Padfoot?" Remus coughed, knowing full well that Sirius had no intentions of quitting.
"'Course not. Prongs, on the other hand –"
"Hey, you'd quit, too, after that night we were drunk on Firewhiskey and you made me smoke an entire pack in one go. I threw up after that."
Sirius laughed. "Mate, you threw up because you couldn't hold your liquor. We can't all be as talented as me."
"I wouldn't call being a drunkard a talent," James said.
"Ah! But it is when I do it!" And on this, Sirius took a deep, dramatic bow followed by another puff of his cigarette.
"If anyone comes in, I was just telling you to stop." The boys didn't respond, but everyone understood. They knew what being a prefect meant to Remus and none of them would risk that by letting him get accused of favoritism.
"So how was the meeting?" asked James, a little too eagerly. He hoped no one noticed.
"Fine. There's a new rule about the use of broomsticks indoors –"
"I mean, honestly, how did they not have that before we came about?" Sirius asked.
"Right, well, no one exactly anticipated you two attempting to fly through the ceiling in the Great Hall –"
"Which is surprising solid. You wouldn't think so just by looking at it, though, eh, Prongs?"
"I don't think my forehead ever properly recovered."
"–other than that, just a lot of the usual stuff," Remus carried on as if the two hadn't interjected. "How to document point deductions, the proper point deductions for the type of rule-breaking, that sort of thing."
"What James really meant to ask," Sirius said between puffs, "is how was Miss Evans?"
James hit Sirius across the back of the knee, causing the boy to stumble over James' cards spread over the floor.
"Hey!" James yelled out.
"Your own doing, mate!" Sirius yelled back, laughing as he slumped into the seat. "Now, Moony, you were filling us in on the elusive ginger?"
"Ah, well. She was a bit, erm…short with me about sending you after her, James."
"What? Why?"
"Mostly I think she wanted me to go through the mild embarrassment of walking in late with her."
"Oh." James let the word hang in the air and distracted himself by reorganizing his Chocolate Frog cards. He was relieved that it wasn't because Lily hated him – or at least, she wasn't outwardly expressing hatred for him – and that was definitely progress. He had spent the summer trying to push her out of his mind and had little success. He resigned to crossing his fingers that she had managed to push him out of her mind, and thus he'd have a fresh start this school year. After the catastrophe of the previous spring, he was going to need a new approach. James had volunteered to fetch Lily earlier to feel her out, but he couldn't quite read her. However, Remus' account gave him some reassurance. She doesn't hate me, he thought to himself and felt a small flip in his gut. Maybe this year will be different.
"I think we'll be there soon," said Remus, breaking the brief silence. The boys looked out of the window and saw the familiar countryside.
"Guess we should tell Wormtail then, huh?" Sirius said, raising the corner of his mouth slightly.
The other two looked to their silent friend. Sure enough, he had fallen back asleep.
Every year, getting off of the train and into a carriage was a mess. The first years wandered around, looking lost and terrified – which didn't change when they saw that a giant, scruffy man named Hagrid was taking them to the castle. The crowded platform was filled with shouts, students trying to usher other students to share carriages with them. A guaranteed way to start off a year badly was to end up in a carriage with someone like Evan Rosier (a seventh year Slytherin who hexed younger students for sport).
This year, Lily stood on the platform and had absolutely no idea what to do. Normally, she would ride in a carriage with Sev and (as much as she didn't like to admit it, probably because of Severus) other students would generally leave them be. Without him, the platform felt foreign.
The other students rushed past her and she finally realized that she would have to move. She managed to climb into an empty carriage and hoped no one would join her. That hope was lost within seconds. Sirius Black, of all people, stuck his head in her carriage and asked, "Mind if I join?"
Lily sat up. "Uhm, sure."
"Excellent." Sirius climbed in and sat across from her.
The redhead squinted at her new companion. "Look – I don't mean to be rude, but don't you normally ride up with your little gang?"
"Ah, yes. But, see, even though I'm quite experienced in the chase for carriages, I somehow managed to make the mistake of an untimely bathroom visit, and ended up losing track of my, erm, 'little gang.'" He winked. "But then I saw you, and thought, why not? You're the only Gryffindor girl who hasn't tried to shag me, so I figured there'd be no embarrassing situations on the way to the castle."
"Ugh, Sirius, really?" Lily rolled her eyes.
"Hey, I'm doing you a favor here. I saw Mulciber eying your carriage."
"Oh." Lily suddenly felt very grateful for Sirius' presence. "Well, thanks, then."
Sirius raised the corner of his lip. "No problem, Red."
Lily smiled back at him. Even though she couldn't stand the nickname, Sirius said it with such charm that it was, at the very least, amusing. Maybe this carriage ride won't be awful after all.
"So how was your summer?" the Gryffindor asked her.
Her heart dropped. She became very aware of her still slightly puffy eyes and tried to find a pleasant way to describe the worst summer of her life.
"It was…fine." The word felt wrong in her mouth and she looked to Sirius to see if he could tell. He was studying her face with a quizzical look that reminded her of a lion she had once seen in a muggle zoo when she was younger. Petunia had gawked and called out to it, eventually giving up when it didn't move, but to Lily, it just seemed sad and scared, like it wanted everyone to disappear. That's how she felt now. Sirius was Petunia , Lily was the lion, and this carriage was a cage that neither of them could escape. She turned her face toward the window, perhaps a little too quickly.
"Fine?" Sirius asked.
"Fine."
"Well, this sounds like a story I should hear," Sirius said. He leaned in toward her and rest his elbows on his knees.
She sighed. If there was one thing Lily was bad at, it was hiding her emotions. "No offense, but I don't know that you're the person I want to get into this with, Sirius."
"Ah, I'm sure Snivellus is a better listener than I, anyway."
Lily wasn't prepared to hear his nickname. Sirius had said it so plainly, so naturally, as though it was obvious that Lily and Severus would have made up over the summer. It caught her off-guard, and in her already exposed state, it was too much. She continued staring out of the window, and barely noticed the tear sliding down her face.
"Woah, hey." Sirius became intensely concerned, making Lily all too aware of the fact that she was crying in front of him. She wanted to take it back and start this whole conversation over, but it was too late. Sirius had gotten up and put his arm around her and the kindness of the gesture brought on a wave of fresh tears.
"Bad summer, then?" Sirius joked. Lily simply nodded.
"Sev and I…we just…we're not…"
"Breathe." Sirius instructed. She inhaled deeply, exhaled through her nose and started over.
"After the incident last spring…Sev and I, we didn't make up. We're not friends anymore." The words started falling out of her mouth. "And being home with a sister who hates me and no one to talk to, it was awful and he kept trying to apologize, and I wanted to forgive him because…I was lonely and miserable and he was my best friend."
"Lily." Sirius was focused and said each of his words carefully. "A best friend would never call you that name."
She looked up at him and was now immensely grateful for his presence. "Thank you," she replied softly. "I – I…didn't forgive him. Not even today, when he cornered me after the prefect meeting."
"He did what?"
"He just wanted to talk to me. I ignored him all summer."
"Stupid git." Lily gave him a look. "Sorry, I know he was your friend and all, but…"
"No, it's fine. I think I need to hear that right now."
"In that case, he's also a bit of a twat."
Lily laughed and realized it had been months since she had last done so. "Thank you," she repeated.
"Anytime," he said, flashing her a real smile. She had a very sudden thought-
"Do me a favor?"
"Anything."
She began wiping her face on the sleeve of her robe. "Don't tell James about this. The last thing I need is for him to swoop in and try to help me."
"Love, I think the last thing you need is me helping you, but that's what you ended up with. Who knows? James might not be so bad." He looked to her and grinned. When Lily's expression didn't change, his face dropped and he added - "But I won't breathe a word of this to him. Promise."
Lily gave him a small smile in gratitude.
"Hey, I reckon we're there by now." Sirius said, while crouching over to the window for a look. He had guessed right and their carriage was pulling up to the castle. It slowed to a stop, and as they got out, Lily couldn't help playing Sirius' words over in her head. What if it had been James who had stumbled into her carriage, instead of Sirius? Could James have changed? Was he worth a second chance?
It wasn't a decision to be made right then. She shook the thought out of her head as she followed the mob of students toward the castle. She glanced back at Sirius, who was waiting on his friends, and he gave her a reassuring smile. Lily knew then that she wouldn't be alone for the rest of her time at Hogwarts. There are some things that cement a friendship and an unexpected emotional breakdown is one of them.
The Great Hall was buzzing. The final first year student had been sorted ("Zebb, Adam," who had been placed in Ravenclaw) and general chatter had taken over the enormous room. James began scanning the hall, examining the faces of his fellow classmates. He noticed Elizabeth Marsh and Amy Bones with their heads down, deep in conversation. Amy kept looking up with an odd expression. James followed her gaze and found himself staring at Lily Evans. She was sitting next to Marlene Wright and Mary Macdonald, but seemed removed from them. While Mary and Marlene seemed rather excited and chatty, Lily bore the same far-away expression that James had stumbled upon earlier on the train. Her green eyes were unfocused and she appeared…exhausted.
A sudden silence fell over the Great Hall and James watched Lily's eyes flit over toward the staff table. James broke his stare and turned to see the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, standing to address the students. Dumbledore cleared his throat softly and began to speak.
"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts," the ancient wizard started. "Before we begin the start of term feast, I'd like to make a few announcements. First, I would like to remind all students that the use of magic in the corridors is forbidden. This rule encompasses the use of several magical items…including broomsticks." Several eyes found their way toward the Marauders, who grinned at each other in response. Dumbledore himself reflected a hint of amusement in his voice. "For a complete list of magical items banned from use in corridors, see the caretaker, Mr. Filch.
"I'd also like to take a moment to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Giles Prodway." Dumbledore gestured to his right, where Professor Prodway was seated between the Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher, and Professor McGonagall, who taught Transfiguration. Prodway seemed fairly young – if he had hit his thirties, it was only barely. He wore plain black robes, and his gray eyes matched his steely expression. There was scattered applause, but Prodway hardly reacted. He simply lifted a hand and waved, before looking back to Dumbledore, who addressed the students once more.
"I won't keep you from filling yourselves – eat! Be merry! As always, welcome home!" and on these last few words, the plates before them overflowed with food. Peter dove into a plate of turkey, while Remus started off with a warm roll of bread. Sirius was grabbing everything in sight. James stared at his empty plate.
"Whatsamatter Prongs?" Sirius asked through a mouth full of potato, "Chocolate Frogs ruin your appetite?"
"Does Prodway seem familiar to you at all?" James posed the question without any regard for Sirius' comment. He couldn't place the rugged face, but Prodway's name stood out in his mind.
"You think you know him?" Peter looked to the wizard across from him, who was looking at his empty plate as though he didn't understand why it was there.
"I feel like I know who he is, at least. I can't put my finger on it."
"Is he worth skipping a meal over, though? I think that level of infatuation this early is coming on a bit too strong, mate."
"Stuff it, Padfoot." A chill swept over James and he shook it off, finally reaching for a turkey leg.
"Hey now, I'd be nice to me or else I'm not sharing any of this glorious feast after I've nicked leftovers from the kitchens later."
"I'll nick some myself."
"But the house elves like me best. I'll just tell one of them you thought the turkey was a bit bland and they'll never let you into the kitchens again."
"The Prophet." Remus said abruptly.
"What?"
"The Prophet – The Daily Prophet. They wrote an article about Prodway being hired a while back. I think it included a picture of him and everything."
"Count on Remus to remember a newspaper article," Sirius quipped. "Guess that answers your question, James?"
It didn't. James had a strange feeling about their new professor, but decided that it wasn't the time to dwell on unfounded suspicions. "Sure," he responded, before putting all of his energy into loading up his plate. He hadn't realized until then that he was positively starving.
Lily stood in the middle of her dormitory. After leading the new Gryffindors to the Common Room, she had darted to her own bedroom and thus was the first of the five girls there. She looked at the familiar beds, with all of their luggage stacked neatly at the ends, and walked over to her own. She touched the curtains gently before pulling them back and sitting on the side of her bed.
Home, she thought, then fell backward, landing softly on top of her sheets.
It had been a long and exhausting day. Lily wanted to fall asleep, even though she was still in her robes. She very well might have, had it not been for –
"For Merlin's sake, I can not believe Gavin Ackerly propositioned me for a snog on the train!" Marlene exclaimed, as she threw open the door. "And he thought he was so smooth, too!"
"I mean, you've had worse offers," Mary replied. "At least Gavin's cute."
"Yeah, if you can get past the twenty layers of sleaze."
"And what if underneath that he's a really great guy, huh?"
"I really don't want to try to find that out, Mare."
Lily took a deep breath and sat up, alerting her room mates to her presence.
"Lily!" Marlene started. "We didn't know you were up here. We can go talk somewhere else if we're bothering you –"
"Don't worry about it, you're fine in here." She brushed her hair off of her face and looked at the two girls in front of her.
"How was your summer, Lily?" Mary asked gently.
"It was fine."
"And how are things with Severus?"
Lily should have seen this coming. The night Sev had called her a Mudblood, Mary found him waiting to apologize to Lily outside of the Gryffindor Common Room. Mary (who had been coming back from a late night rendezvous with an unnamed Ravenclaw sixth year) immediately went to find Lily and tell her that Sev had been there all night. For that, Mary at least deserved a decent answer.
"We aren't friends anymore. He kept trying to apologize and I wouldn't accept it. That's it."
"Oh, Lily!" Mary grabbed the redhead and pulled her into a hug. The sweetness of the gesture shocked Lily. "I'm so sorry, I know you two were such good friends!"
"Th-Thanks," Lily sputtered through Mary's long brown hair.
"I know we haven't been very close," Mary started, "but if you need anything, I'm here for you. Marlene, too!" She looked over to the blonde and nodded.
"Right. I'm here for you, too." Marlene said. "Though I can't say I ever understood why you were friends with that– ow!"
Mary had kicked her in the shin, causing Marlene to clutch her leg and a small giggle escaped Lily's lips.
"Thanks, you guys. I appreciate it, honestly." And she did. Even if Mary was a little over-enthusiastic, she meant well. "I think I'm going to get ready for bed now."
"Alright. Want to get breakfast with us tomorrow?" Mary offered.
"Sure," Lily replied with a smile. She opened her trunk and dug out her pajamas, letting her companions resume their conversation about the less-than-appropriate train-snog proposal. And when she eventually climbed into her four-poster bed, she felt that the day had certainly taken several turns and, for the most part, it was all for the better.
James couldn't sleep.
It wasn't the typical start-of-term-nervousness that kept him awake. He had been lying in bed, wanting to sleep, but never getting past closing his eyes. He could hear Peter's soft snores several feet away. Sirius was grumbling in an indistinguishable sleep-talk and Remus was completely silent (he slept like a baby during the time of the month when he actually slept). Their fifth roommate, a boy named Lance Stebbins, had passed out the moment he returned from the feast.
James' stomach growled audibly. It had been hours since the feast and the mountains of food felt like a distant memory. With nothing better to do, James decided he would sneak to the kitchen, resolve his hunger, and maybe then he'd be able to sleep. So very quietly, James climbed out of bed, grabbed his glasses and his wand, and headed down the dormitory stairs.
He walked into the common room and, to his surprise, found it wasn't empty. Curled up in a large chair by the fireplace was Lily, reading from a piece of parchment that had a significant amount of wear. Her face was scrunched as she read.
It felt odd to be standing there while Lily was sitting unaware, in her pajamas, clearly in the middle of a deeply personal moment. James had two options: head back to his own room or try to walk past her without her noticing. He quickly decided on the former, turned around, and placed his foot on the first step.
Creeeeeek.
Cursing himself, James turned back around and found a pair a large green eyes burning into him.
"Potter?"
"Guilty as charged," James replied, flashing a sheepish, crooked smile.
"What are you doing here this late?
"I could ask the same of you."
"And it'd be none of your business."
"Which is now my answer to your question, Miss Evans." James stood and stared back at Lily in silence for a few moments. The redhead was the first to break eye contact.
"Ugh, fine. I don't even care where you were probably sneaking off to and I'm too tired to pull the prefect card." She looked it, too. "And honestly, I'm too tired to put up with you right now, so if you don't mind…"
James turned red. "What do you mean 'put up with me'?"
Lily sighed. "Keeping up with you – the insults, the wit – it's exhausting. Not to mention the constant attempts to impress me. I just can't deal with it right now."
"Clearly me going to the kitchens in the middle of the night was an attempt to try to impress you. But it's nice to know that's what you think of me." He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. "Guess I'm not hungry after all." On that, he turned to leave.
"James, wait."
He stopped.
"I didn't mean it like that. I'm just…not in the best headspace right now, I guess. You didn't do anything wrong coming down here. I'm sorry." She said each word slowly, with an obvious exhaustion behind every one, while staring wide-eyed at James. His shoulders were tensed and he took his time examining her face. She apologized, he thought briefly, wondering what could have exhausted her to the point of being cordial to him now.
James softened and walked toward Lily.
"Does this have to do with why you nearly missed the prefects meeting earlier?"
"Yes." James sat down across from her. "But if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not go into specifics about it right now. Everyone keeps bringing it up and I'm just kind of sick of talking about it."
A thought hit James. "It's about Snape, isn't it?"
"See, this is why I don't want to talk to you about it, because you'll go after him and–"
"–no, I won't…it isn't, I'm not…" James took a deep breath. "But it is about him?"
"Yes."
"Well, then…whatever happened, you did the right thing."
Lily looked up at James and stared into his eyes, looking for an answer before she even asked him the question. "And how could you possibly know that?"
"Because you're a smart girl, Evans. You're sort of bound to make the right choice."
The soft orange light from the fireplace bounced off of Lily's skin and hair, making her glow. Her quizzical expression softened into a look that James had never seen before. He looked down at his red plaid pajama pants and plain gray tee shirt and wondered why he felt so exposed. While he searched for an answer, Lily rose to her feet.
"I'm going to head upstairs and try to sleep. You probably should, too. First day of classes and everything tomorrow, you know."
"Yeah." James absentmindedly ran his hand through his hair.
"Well. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Evans."
James watched the redhead walk away, until she reached the stairs and disappeared. He looked to the fireplace and exhaled. He had been holding his breath the entire time.