Battle of the Blond Heroes!!!
1 By: Destined-Warrior
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7, 9 or Tactics. I do not own anything Square has used, and blah blah blaaaaah!
Note: Yes, I shall consider Tactics a Final Fantasy, because it is part of the name. Really, it is unlike the others in the style, but that's it. Also, charcters will get killed, but probably will be brought back to life the next round with a phoenix down or something. Now, I bet you want me to shut up and start, and that is what I shall do. Oh, I forgot to mention, in the Japanese FF7, Aeris' name is really Aerith, and I will call her that okay.
Gafgarion (he will be called Gaffy for short): Welcome to the Battle of the Blond Heroes!
Q. Brahne: Soon, we shall see who is the best of the blond heroes!
Wedge: Is it the spiky haired Cloud, butt pants wearing Ramza, or monkey boy Zidane?
Gaffy: We shall also see which game heroes and villains are truly the best.
Q.Brahne: I better see a good show. I don't give prizes to bad ones.
Wedge: Actually Brahne, later I will be giving out the prizes.
Q.Brahne: I will see to that…
Gaffy: Well, uh, anyway, we'll see who's the best ooooon…..
All: BATTLE OF THE BLOND HEROES!
(In the Locker Rooms)
Cloud: I'm so gonna win this. Heh heh.
Zidane: With what? Your hair! Ha ha ha haaaaaa!
Ramza: Your one to talk. How will you win shorty?
Zidane: HEY! I'm not SHORT! I'm vertically challenged that's all…
Cloud: More like the programmers don't know how to make proportional characters right.
Ramza: Hey, you don't even get hands, you get balls of peach, and you only have hands in battle. *Ramza hits them with his towel*
Cloud and: Heh, neither do you, and we ever see them. *Also hits Ramza and Zidane with a towel*
Ramza: Not true, they are just always in a fist, so ha ha to you too.
(At the Audience)
Dagger: I don't know if Zidane can do this.
Aerith: You have very little faith, because at least I think Cloud can win
Alma: No way, my brother can. He saved the world.
Dagger and Aerith: All our boyfriends did. That's why this fight is happening, to find out which one is the coolest.
*Here, they blush, and Alma gets pissed*
Alma: I do NOT love my brother that way!!!!!
Aerith: Whatever
Eiko: Just shut the Hell UP! Just because you got Zidane, Dagger, doesn't mean I couldn't get none! Where do you think Vivi got all his kids?
*Vivi blushes*
Dagger: WHAT?!?!?! I so totally didn't know that. Really, you two are very cute.
Vivi: Thanks Dagger. *His eyes light up, that's how he blushes*
(Back to the Hosts of this crazy tournament…)
Q.Brahne: Well now, we've already told you about the heroes, let's just watch them fight.
Gaffy: I know Ramza will win, he learned how to fight dirty from me.
Wedge: Really? But Cloud's hair is pretty damn freaky!
Gaffy: True, but is it enough to win?
Q.Brahne: Shut the Hell up, it's about to start, and I wanna watch!
(Cloud, Ramza, and Zidane walk out onto the ring)
Gaffy: In this first match, the whole point is to see which of you is the best. Basically, just kill each other, and the last one standing wins.
Wedge: By the way, get knocked out of the ring, and fall into the pit of laaaaaavaaaaaaa *Wedge points it out* Bwa ha ha haaaa, I hope Cloud falls in.
Q.Brahne: Ramza was smart, and actually planned ahead, and he can walk on lava for this round.
Wedge: Hey Ramza, give you a pet monkey if you knock Cloud into the Laaaaaaavaaaaaa and I shall get one for you.
Gaffy: And if you don't want him, I'll take him!
Ramza: I know walk on lava is a useless ability, but it's going to get me a pet monkey. I'm going to burn your hair off Cloud!
Cloud: Touch the hair, and I use Omnislash on you!
Zidane: Why is it I feel like I'm left out?
Wedge: Oh yeah, the pet monkey you will get Ramza is none other than Zidane himself!
Ramza: Cool, I get a talking monkey!
Zidane: Now I don't feel left out anymore, yaaaaaay!
Q.Brahne: Well, let this match begin. On your marks, get set, goooooooo!
Gaffy: Isn't that for racing, well whatever, the fight has started.
Like he said, it started, and here is how it went: first Zidane and Cloud realized that they had to get hurt really bad before they could do their ultimate moves. Ramza on the other hand went and started to pound away on Cloud, because he really wanted a pet monkey. Zidane wanted Cloud to be able to use his limit break, so he helped by using his ultima weapon on him. Well basically, they killed poor ol' Cloud, but before they did, Ramza went on the lava, and burned Cloud's hair off, just like he said he would.
Wedge: WOOOOOW, he really did it! I always thought that kid needed a haircut! I liked that show so much I've decided I'm going to get you a pet penguin. Or would you like a baboon instead?
Ramza: I'll answer in a minute, so hold on, I'm fighting.
*Ramza is on the lava throwing stones at Zidane, and somehow they are knocking him back. Ramza also never misses, because he has concentrate on, nothing ever misses when attacking. *
Zidane: What is this? I can't let a guy who wears butt pants win! I'm going to use lucky seven it never misses. *Uses Lucky Seven, does one hit point of damage* DAMN, I forget it always does that, uh oooooooooh.
*Zidane falls into the lava, and burns to death.*
Ramza: Ha ha, I WIN!
Gaffy: Told you he'd win.
Wedge: Never doubted that for a minute.
Q.Brahne: Well, that's one point for Ramza. Next battle will be the Battle of the Cids. Which Cid is the best one? I bet it won't be the Regent.
FF9 Cid: HEY, I heard that you fat bitch!
Q.Brahne: Oh T.G. Ciiiiiiiiid, kill him in the next round, and I'll reward you with rare food.
FFT Cid: Okay, whatever, I sure could use some food after the next match.
Ramza: By the way, I want both pets Announcer Wedge!
Wedge: Your only getting the baboon.
Ramza: Awwww, that sucks, but okay (cheapskate).
Heh heh, I wonder-which Cid is best? We'll find out in the next round I suppose on BATTLE OF THE BLOND HEROES!
1 By: Destined-Warrior
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7, 9 or Tactics. I do not own anything Square has used, and blah blah blaaaaah!
Note: Yes, I shall consider Tactics a Final Fantasy, because it is part of the name. Really, it is unlike the others in the style, but that's it. Also, charcters will get killed, but probably will be brought back to life the next round with a phoenix down or something. Now, I bet you want me to shut up and start, and that is what I shall do. Oh, I forgot to mention, in the Japanese FF7, Aeris' name is really Aerith, and I will call her that okay.
Gafgarion (he will be called Gaffy for short): Welcome to the Battle of the Blond Heroes!
Q. Brahne: Soon, we shall see who is the best of the blond heroes!
Wedge: Is it the spiky haired Cloud, butt pants wearing Ramza, or monkey boy Zidane?
Gaffy: We shall also see which game heroes and villains are truly the best.
Q.Brahne: I better see a good show. I don't give prizes to bad ones.
Wedge: Actually Brahne, later I will be giving out the prizes.
Q.Brahne: I will see to that…
Gaffy: Well, uh, anyway, we'll see who's the best ooooon…..
All: BATTLE OF THE BLOND HEROES!
(In the Locker Rooms)
Cloud: I'm so gonna win this. Heh heh.
Zidane: With what? Your hair! Ha ha ha haaaaaa!
Ramza: Your one to talk. How will you win shorty?
Zidane: HEY! I'm not SHORT! I'm vertically challenged that's all…
Cloud: More like the programmers don't know how to make proportional characters right.
Ramza: Hey, you don't even get hands, you get balls of peach, and you only have hands in battle. *Ramza hits them with his towel*
Cloud and: Heh, neither do you, and we ever see them. *Also hits Ramza and Zidane with a towel*
Ramza: Not true, they are just always in a fist, so ha ha to you too.
(At the Audience)
Dagger: I don't know if Zidane can do this.
Aerith: You have very little faith, because at least I think Cloud can win
Alma: No way, my brother can. He saved the world.
Dagger and Aerith: All our boyfriends did. That's why this fight is happening, to find out which one is the coolest.
*Here, they blush, and Alma gets pissed*
Alma: I do NOT love my brother that way!!!!!
Aerith: Whatever
Eiko: Just shut the Hell UP! Just because you got Zidane, Dagger, doesn't mean I couldn't get none! Where do you think Vivi got all his kids?
*Vivi blushes*
Dagger: WHAT?!?!?! I so totally didn't know that. Really, you two are very cute.
Vivi: Thanks Dagger. *His eyes light up, that's how he blushes*
(Back to the Hosts of this crazy tournament…)
Q.Brahne: Well now, we've already told you about the heroes, let's just watch them fight.
Gaffy: I know Ramza will win, he learned how to fight dirty from me.
Wedge: Really? But Cloud's hair is pretty damn freaky!
Gaffy: True, but is it enough to win?
Q.Brahne: Shut the Hell up, it's about to start, and I wanna watch!
(Cloud, Ramza, and Zidane walk out onto the ring)
Gaffy: In this first match, the whole point is to see which of you is the best. Basically, just kill each other, and the last one standing wins.
Wedge: By the way, get knocked out of the ring, and fall into the pit of laaaaaavaaaaaaa *Wedge points it out* Bwa ha ha haaaa, I hope Cloud falls in.
Q.Brahne: Ramza was smart, and actually planned ahead, and he can walk on lava for this round.
Wedge: Hey Ramza, give you a pet monkey if you knock Cloud into the Laaaaaaavaaaaaa and I shall get one for you.
Gaffy: And if you don't want him, I'll take him!
Ramza: I know walk on lava is a useless ability, but it's going to get me a pet monkey. I'm going to burn your hair off Cloud!
Cloud: Touch the hair, and I use Omnislash on you!
Zidane: Why is it I feel like I'm left out?
Wedge: Oh yeah, the pet monkey you will get Ramza is none other than Zidane himself!
Ramza: Cool, I get a talking monkey!
Zidane: Now I don't feel left out anymore, yaaaaaay!
Q.Brahne: Well, let this match begin. On your marks, get set, goooooooo!
Gaffy: Isn't that for racing, well whatever, the fight has started.
Like he said, it started, and here is how it went: first Zidane and Cloud realized that they had to get hurt really bad before they could do their ultimate moves. Ramza on the other hand went and started to pound away on Cloud, because he really wanted a pet monkey. Zidane wanted Cloud to be able to use his limit break, so he helped by using his ultima weapon on him. Well basically, they killed poor ol' Cloud, but before they did, Ramza went on the lava, and burned Cloud's hair off, just like he said he would.
Wedge: WOOOOOW, he really did it! I always thought that kid needed a haircut! I liked that show so much I've decided I'm going to get you a pet penguin. Or would you like a baboon instead?
Ramza: I'll answer in a minute, so hold on, I'm fighting.
*Ramza is on the lava throwing stones at Zidane, and somehow they are knocking him back. Ramza also never misses, because he has concentrate on, nothing ever misses when attacking. *
Zidane: What is this? I can't let a guy who wears butt pants win! I'm going to use lucky seven it never misses. *Uses Lucky Seven, does one hit point of damage* DAMN, I forget it always does that, uh oooooooooh.
*Zidane falls into the lava, and burns to death.*
Ramza: Ha ha, I WIN!
Gaffy: Told you he'd win.
Wedge: Never doubted that for a minute.
Q.Brahne: Well, that's one point for Ramza. Next battle will be the Battle of the Cids. Which Cid is the best one? I bet it won't be the Regent.
FF9 Cid: HEY, I heard that you fat bitch!
Q.Brahne: Oh T.G. Ciiiiiiiiid, kill him in the next round, and I'll reward you with rare food.
FFT Cid: Okay, whatever, I sure could use some food after the next match.
Ramza: By the way, I want both pets Announcer Wedge!
Wedge: Your only getting the baboon.
Ramza: Awwww, that sucks, but okay (cheapskate).
Heh heh, I wonder-which Cid is best? We'll find out in the next round I suppose on BATTLE OF THE BLOND HEROES!