Where's the future?

Disclaimer: This story was written solely for the enjoyment of other Zorro fans and is not intended to infringe on any copyrights held by Goodman/Rosen Productions, New World Television, Zorro Productions, the estate of Johnston McCulley or anyone else.

"Where's the future?" That was what Victoria was asking herself more and more these days. The waiting for Zorro to unmask had been hard during the recent years, but now it nearly became unbearable for her.

There wasn't any change in sight – at least not for her. The friends in her age were all married now, having children of their own. She seemed to be the last one who was still unmarried.

The years had passed by and she had been able to ignore it, but now she couldn't do it any longer. Not when the changes were right in front of her.

Three months ago her brother and his wife Anna had come to Los Angeles to work with her in the tavern. Though she was the one who had worked in tavern the recent years, she couldn't deny her brother his part of it. It was a much his home as it was hers. There was enough room in the tavern to accommodate all of them, just as it had been when their parents had still been alive and they had been a happy family of five.

Victoria was happy to have some family around her again and she had always gotten along well with her brother. Life became easier now when there was her brother and his wife to share the workload.

She should be happy with the recent changes, but she wasn't. Yesterday, her sister-in-law Anna had announced that she was expecting her first child. Though she was happy for her brother, she felt jealousy. Jealousy of Anna who was having a child while there was no family for her in sight.

Her relationship with Zorro had suffered too from her brother's arrival. There was hardly a time anymore when she was alone in the tavern and they could meet privately. Ramon didn't approve of her relationship with Zorro and tried to discourage Zorro in courting her. Zorro wasn't one to give up easily, but it was hard for both of them when there was rarely a chance to meet alone.

Z Z Z

Victoria tried to make a good face to everything, but she couldn't hide her mood from Diego.

In the next weeks Diego spent more time with her than before, inviting her to dinners at the hacienda or asking her to go with him to some parties. He opened up to her and she enjoyed his company.

She never knew when he had started to touch her, but now he often put his hand on her arm or wrapped his arm around her to greet her and she enjoyed it.

Then there was the evening when he finally took a heart and asked her to marry him.

"I'm sorry, Diego, but I can't marry you," she said apologetically. "There is only one man that I love and that is Zorro."

She had never seen him so hurt when he retreated from her. "I always knew you were in love with a legend."

Diego told his father that he had proposed to Victoria without success and offered him to take over some errands that would keep him away from Los Angeles. Understandingly Alejandro agreed.

Z Z Z

A few days after Victoria had rejected his proposal, Zorro came to the tavern. For once he didn't care that Ramon and his wife were present.

"Ramon, please, I need to talk with Victoria for moment." Zorro was determined. "I won't bother you again." Surprised Victoria looked at him.

Ramon seemed to understand too and led his wife out of the kitchen.

"Zorro, it's been a long time, since I have seen you." Victoria looked at him longingly.

"Victoria, it's over. I can't marry you."

"But why, Zorro?" Victoria was hurt. "I have always been true to you. You're the only one I love."

"You love the legend, but not me."

"Why are you telling me that now, Zorro? Why not earlier?"

"Are you regretting that you didn't know before? Then you could have married Don Diego for his money?" Zorro accused her.

"How do you know that he proposed to me?" Victoria was shocked by his accusation. "I would never marry Don Diego for his money. The only one I want to marry is you, Zorro. It's not fair of you to have me waiting for you for so long and drop me now."

"No, it's not fair," Zorro shook his head. "I have been hoping too long, you would love me, but now I know you never will. I should have made this step much earlier." Zorro turned around and vanished through the back door.

Z Z Z

Only now when Diego no longer spent his time with her, did Victoria realize how much she missed him. He had been her closest friend. The one she could talk to about her worries and who had been there for her.

Victoria had never felt so alone before. There were no more invitations from Diego and she didn't feel welcome at the hacienda anymore. She tried to escape her loneliness by accepting invitations from other caballeros who showed an interest in her, now that Zorro had vanished from her life.

Zorro had disappeared not only from her life, but also from the pueblo. Victoria remembered that he had once told her that there wouldn't be any Zorro without her and she knew now that it was the truth.

Z Z Z

Diego had spent several weeks away from Los Angeles traveling to Monterey, talking to the governor and going to some cattle auctions. It were tasks Alejandro would normally do, but he had agreed to let his son take over and he hadn't been disappointed in Diego. In fact his son had succeed better than Alejandro had ever expected and he wondered why Diego hadn't shown his talents before.

His father being proud of him was a consolation to Diego, but it didn't make him happy, now that he knew that Victoria would never love him.

He knew he needed to go on with his life and so he had let his father talk him into accompanying Senorita Maria to a birthday party of one of his father's friends.

To his surprise Victoria was also present at the side of Don Pedro, a young caballero who had invited her.

Diego danced with most of the senoritas at the party, but the only one he didn't ask for a dance was Victoria. It didn't escape her notice and she felt hurt that he was ignoring her. Escaping the dancing she went outside to the garden wandering around.

To her surprise she wasn't the only one who had sought refuge in this secluded part of the garden.

"Diego, what are you doing here?" she asked, after she had recognized the lonely figure.

"I could ask you the same, Victoria," Diego returned the question. "Why aren't you inside dancing with Don Pedro?"

"And why aren't you dancing with Senorita Maria?" Victoria retorted. Then she somehow couldn't stand it anymore. "Will we now be fighting all the time when we meet in the future, Diego?"

Victoria began to cry. "We used to be best friends and now there is nothing left."

Diego couldn't see her cry and is emotions took over control.

Taking her in his arms he started to kiss her passionately and for a moment she was too surprised to respond. It was just then that Don Pedro and Senorita Maria who were searching for their dance partners spotted them.

Z Z Z

There wasn't any escape for them. It was either marry immediately or have their reputation ruined. Within two weeks Victoria became Diego's wife, moving to the de la Vega hacienda.

But since that night Diego had never made any attempts to kiss her or to get close to her. They were sleeping in adjacent rooms, but Diego didn't try to consumate the marriage. He didn't want to force himself on a woman who didn't love him.

Z Z Z

Though she was a married woman now, Victoria wasn't happy. Diego avoided her and he never touched her at all or took her in his arms any more. They had been married for weeks now and one night she couldn't bear it anymore. Through the door that connected their rooms, she went into his bedroom. Diego was surprised to see her in her nightshirt.

"Victoria?" Then he saw her tears. "What's wrong?"

"Diego, please, I can't stand it anymore. Don't ignore my any longer. I never knew how much you meant to me, until you left my life." She moved closer to him and he involuntarily opened his arms for her to step in. "Hold me, please, love me," she whispered.

"But you don't love me, Victoria," he replied hoarsely.

"I don't know what I feel, Diego," she cried. "I only know that I can't live like this any longer. I need you in my life. I need you to hold me, to touch me." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"You're sure?" he whispered. Victoria nodded and clutched closer to him when he carried her over to the bed.

Z Z Z

The next morning Victoria woke up first and she had time to watch her sleeping husband. His body was only partly covered by the sheet and she could see the strong muscles that formed his body for the first time at daylight.

Though he was a strong man he had been very gentle when he had made love to her last night. In his passion, he had cried out her name and shown her how much he loved her, calling her querida.

When Diego turned in his sleep, the blanket slid further down and revealed most of his upper body and now she could see the scars on him that she had only felt in the night. Surprised she examined him. How did he get so many of them? One at his arm looked like from a bullet and was quite deep. It must have hurt him terribly and the other a little lower was from a snake bite. And on his back there were many white lines as if he had been beaten. When had Diego been hurt so much? And why had he never said a word? Victoria traced the lines on his skin with her fingers and he woke from the touch. Sleepily he opened his eyes and looked at her. "What are you doing, querida?" he asked. Guiltily Victoria retreated her hand. "I'm sorry, Diego. I didn't want to wake you. I only saw all these scars. Why do you have so many and where did you get them?"

Immediately his faced closed up and she felt shut out. "Diego, I'm your wife now. Don't I have the right to ask?"

"Do you regret it, Victoria?" he asked. "Do you regret becoming my wife?"

She knew how much depended on her answer for her future life. She could ruin her marriage forever or she could have a man who loved her and whom she loved too.

"No, I don't regret anything, Diego," she whispered. "I only regret the time we wasted until last night." She kissed him tenderly. "I love you, Diego and I'm sorry, it took me long to realize it."

"Are you sure?" he asked, hardly able to believe her.

"Love me, Diego," she whispered. "Love me and I'll show you."

Z Z Z

Diego opened up to her again, but still there was a distance between them that she couldn't cross. They slept in each others arms now, making love each night, but she felt that he didn't trust her completely. Diego had never answered her questions about his scars and she sensed his doubts if she really loved him. Had she hurt him that much when she had turned down his marriage proposal?

"Diego, we need to talk," she addressed him a few days later.

"What do you want to talk about, Victoria?" Diego asked in a controlled voice.

Victoria hated it when he was like that, so reserved and so in control of his feelings. He was hiding his true feelings from her, shutting her out.

"About you and me, how we feel for each other. Diego please, don't lock me out," she looked at his blank face. "You must believe me that I love you."

"How can I do that when there is only one man in your life that you love and that is Zorro? You only came to me, because you were lonely and there was no other! When you had lost Zorro for good!" His voice was bitter.

"What can I do to make you trust me? Diego, please talk to me!"

"I don't know, Victoria. You lie in my arms at night, making love to me, but I don't know if you really want me. You're still longing for your masked hero or rather what he represents."

"How can you say that, Diego! I love you now and no longer Zorro."

"You have been living a lie, Victoria. You were in love with a legend, an invincible hero, but you never chose to look behind the mask."

"That's not true, Diego. I always tried to find out his identity, but I couldn't."

"Couldn't you find out or wouldn't you, Victoria?" Diego asked her accusingly. "I think you were as much afraid of what you might find behind the mask as your hero was of your reaction."

"That's not true. How can you say that!" Victoria was close to crying.

"It was easier to love the mask than the real man behind it, so you chose not to face the truth."

"You are talking as if you know who Zorro is and as if I should know it too!" Victoria was utterly disturbed by his accusations. "If you know who he is, you have to tell me!"

"What would you do if you knew, Victoria? Run to him and beg him to take you back?"

Shocked Victoria looked at him. "No, I wouldn't do that. I love you. I'm your wife now, Diego. You are much more part of my life than he ever was. When you left me, I missed you more than Zorro. I just want to know who he is and face him." But then she grasped something. "You know it. You know who he is, but you don't tell me!"

"How can you be so cruel!" Frustrated Victoria balled her hands to fists and wanted to hit him on his chest, but he grabbed her wrists in his hands and held them in safe distance from his body.

"What would you tell him if you met him, Victoria?" Diego asked. "Tell him that you never stopped loving him?"

"I only want an explanation why he left me. I want to understand why he didn't believe in our love any more. Is that too much to ask? Just tell me, please," Opening her hands, Victoria began to sob and her head sank against his chest.

"Don't cry, Victoria," he soothed her. "Just don't cry anymore. I can't see you crying." Releasing her hands, he wrapped his arms around her. Tenderly he rocked her in his arms, placing a kiss on her hair. Except for the nights when they had made love, he hadn't kissed her, though she knew that he loved her. But now he needed to kiss her again, to show her his love.

It was a kiss of love and not of passion. She felt the difference when he kissed her and she was ready to accept his love. But she hadn't expected him to kiss her the same way as Zorro. For a moment she expected to feel soft silk under her hands and to look into blue eyes behind a mask, but it was only one of Diego's ruffled shirts and Diego's blue eyes.

Confused she looked up. Why was her mind playing tricks on her?

She wanted to asked him again, to tell her the identity of Zorro, but then she realized that he had already done so.

Shaking terribly from shock, Victoria wasn't able to stand anymore and Diego sat down on a chair, pulling her on his lap. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked desperately.

"Isn't that obvious?" he asked softly. "I tried to win you as myself, showing you my feelings for you, but you never saw me. You never looked deeper than the mask. When you put down my proposal to stay true to a legend, I thought you would never see the man of flesh and blood."

"But it was your fault! Why didn't you break up with me, before you proposed to me as yourself? How could I say yes to your proposal when I was bound by my promise to Zorro?"

"Are you saying you'd have married me if I had given you free as Zorro?" Diego asked incredulously.

"Yes, of course, I would. I love both of you, Zorro and Diego. But I married you, Diego. You are the one you fills my life and I went into your arms to love me."

"I'm sorry, Victoria. You're right, I messed it all up. Forgive me, please? Forgive me for letting you suffer for my mistakes?" Anxiously Diego looked at her.

"I do, as long as you don't doubt my love."

"Never again, Victoria. I promise."

Finally there was nothing standing between them any more and when they kissed it was a kiss of love.

The End