So I first wrote this story as a chapter for my Sealand Chronicles, but as I soon realized that this would be better as a oneshot. I hope you enjoy! Please read and review!
"Leave me alone!" Sealand cried as he pushed open the double door and ran into the school parking lot. "I don't want any trouble."
"I don't care about what you want," Dylan, Sealand's bully, said as he shoved the young boy to the ground. "Plus you ask for it every time you look at me." As he said it, a brown-eyed Italian approached from behind.
"The fuck he does! Stay the fuck away from him!" Romano yelled, helping Sealand up.
"Back off! This isn't your fight! Leave before I decide to hurt you too," Dylan warned.
"Like I'm afraid of you. My grandma could fucking beat you up. In fact, even Sealand could beat you up."
"No, I can't, don't say that," Sealand injected.
"Please, that shrimp," the bully chuckled. "He looks like he could barely harm a fly."
"It's true. One time a fly was bothering me and I tried to swat it away but it grabbed my hand instead and flipped me over," the micronation offered meekly.
"Are you kidding me? You're talking about a kid who once wrestled a fucking bear!" the Italian retorted.
"I more liked helped America do it. He was wrestling the bear while I stood at a respectable distance screaming words of encouragement like "Go Alfie!" and "Beat up the bear!"."
"You're lying! There's no way that flimsy pansy could beat up anything!"
"He's right, I mean, I can't even pass on Nair without cutting myself! Can we please just go Romano?" Sealand pleaded, tugging on the brunette's shoulder.
"Nair? What's Nair?"
"It's a lotion you use to take the hair off your legs."
"You shave your legs?" Dylan inquired, looking at the boy incredulously.
"Why of course! How else do you think I get my legs so sexy?" Sealand questioned, showing of his smooth and silky legs. "I need to have at least one day every week devoted to maintaining my legs. That usually includes passing lotion, using Nair, etc.. You know, the usual."
"Stop talking," his Italian friend gritted through his teeth. "You're not helping."
"What did I tell you? Sealand is a fucking weekling!" The bully explained.
"Really? Then let me prove that theory wrong, you bastard. Tomorrow at noon, you and Sealand are going to have a fight," Romano suggested. "Unless you're too fucking scared, then I'd understand why'd you back down."
"No! Please don't do th-"
"Of course I'll do it. There's no way I'm scared of a little twerp like him, see you guys tomorrow!" Dylan cried, walking off into the parking lot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~tommorow~~~~~~~~~~~
"I was starting to think you guys wouldn't show up," Dylan said as he watch the Italian and micro-nation approach him. "I mean, it's already 12:20, so lunch is going to be over in like, 10 minutes."
"I had to do something first," Sealand explained simply.
"What? Did you already tell the nurse your going to be joining her later?" The bully asked, clutching his fist. "'Cause when I'm done with you, you're going to need one."
"No, but I did bring a first aid kit." Romano nudged him in his stomach, giving him a look as to say "Stop talking!"
"For you!" the youngest boy continued. "Cause you're going to need it once I give you the old what for. So you better know how to use the kit properly! But if you don't, I'll do it for you." His brunette comrade slapped him and looked at the him incredulously.
"The fuck did I just say?!"
"But you didn't say-"
"Then fuck did I just say?!" Romano repeated furiously. "God, I fucking swear, only you!"
"Okay, since you two still busy and I need to get to class soon, how about we just call this whole thing off?" Dylan rationalized as he started to exit the parking lot.
"Ha! I knew you'd back down you fucking pussy!" the Italian yelled at the boy walking away.
"What did you just call me?!" Dylan asked furiously, swiftly turning around and balling up his fist.
"He said he knew you'd back down, you- you - you flimsy girl!" Sealand exclaimed confindently, waving his hands up in the air for emphasis.
"What the fucking hell Sealand?!" Romano cried, exasperated. "You know what? I'm done. There's only so much I can do. Have a nice fucking fight." And with that, the brunette left the scene and went inside the school.
"Now that that bastard is gone, let's get this show on the road," Dylan said, slowly approaching his prey. Okay Amey, don't fail me now, Sealand thought, taking a deep breath.
"Where have all the good man gone and where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?"
"What the hell?" The bully thought aloud as he stopped walking. "Is he actually...singing?"
"Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need! I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night. He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight."
This song is too amazing, Sealand thought as he sang, shaking his hips to the song. I've just gotta- no, this is only a signal to get Amey, but the song's so good. I. Can't. Take. It. I've.. just... got.. to...DANCE! And with that, the micro-nation started to do the "Carlton".
"I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero til the morning light. He's gotta be sure and he's soon and he's gotta be larger than. Larger than life." the little boy sang enthusiastically, dancing the whole time.
"What?! No, that dance doesn't even go with the go with the song! Stop please, begging you!" Dylan pleaded. Oh, I am feeling it now. Sealand then started to do "The Cramp".
"Somewhere after midnight in my wildest fantasies, somewhere just beyond my reach there's someone reaching back for me."
"Ahhh, my eyes! I can't take it anymore. I'm going back inside," the bully wailed, running into the school.
"Did someone call me?" America cried, jumping out of nowhere and standing in a superhero pose.
"Cause I do believe someone just sang my personal anthem."
"Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat. Isn't there a superman to sweep me off my feet?"
"Dude, I said I was here, why you still singing?" the bespeckled teen asked, turning around only to find Sealand on floor in a spasm-like motion.
"Oh my god! Sealand's having a seizure!" The dirty blond exclaimed. He quickly whipped his phone out and dialed 911.
"I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero til the end of the night! He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight! I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero til the morning light! He's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon and he's gotta be larger than life!"
"Don't worry Sealand," America said sweetly, crouching down and patting his brother. "Help will be here soon."
Up where the mountains meets the mountains above, out where the lightning splits the sea, I could swear there was someone somewhere watching me! Through the wind and the chill and the rain, and the storm and the flood, I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood!
As Sealand sang, an ambulance rolled up into the parking lot. It parked, then two men carrying a gurney, exited the car and ran over to where America was.
"Oh you're here. You guys got here fast," the American commented, standing up again.
"Yeah well, the hospital's only two minutes away," one of the men explained.
I'm holding out for a hero til the end of the night! He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's fresh from the fight!
"Can you help him? I think he's having a seizure," the dirty blond said worriedly.
"Don't worry kid, we've got this under control," the other man reassured. The two swiftly strapped Sealand onto the gurney and pushed him to ambulance with America following close behind.
I'm holding for a hero til the morning light! He's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon and he's gotta be larger than life!" The micronation sang, finishing the song and breaking out of his trance only to find himself strapped to a gurney being pushed by two strange men.
"What the flip is going on?!" he asked, as he tried to wiggle out the straps holding him. "Where are you taking me?!"
"Relax bro, these two dudes are just taking you to the hospital." America said, glad his brother was acting normal again.
"What? Why would they do that?"
"Cause just had a seizure man," The bespeckled man explained as though it was obvious.
"What, no! That's impossible, I was just dancing."
"No no, I don't think so," the American stated, shaking his head as he contemplated the idea. "I know what dancing looks like and that was far from it. I'm pretty sure you were having a seizure."
"No, I wasn't. I was just doing "the cramp". You know, the dance from Spongebob."
"Wait a second." The hero grabbed the paramedics outfits, causing them to stop walking. He walked over to beside the gurney to stare at his brother. "Do you mean, to tell me, that you weren't having a seizure? Then why were you fucking singing my anthem?"
"Okay, um.., can you move back a bit? You're kind of spitting on me when you talk."
"Jesus Christ Sealand! Answer the question!"
"Okay, okay, no need to be so harsh. Look, a bully named Dylan was about to punch so I sang your anthem to get you to come and save me, but halfway through, the power off dance took over me. I guess Dylan left while I was dancing. Then you probably came along and thought I was having a seizure."
"Oh my fucking god! I swear, the only time I actually worry about you, this happens!"
"This isn't my fault," the micro nation argued. "I was on-"
"No, this is your fault! It's always your fault! You so owe me big time."
"So what? I have to clean your room for a month, or carry your books around til the end of the school year?"
"No, you owe much more than that."
"Wait, what? What.. um.. what do you have in mind?" the blond boy asked nervously, afraid of what his brother would say next.
" You, owe me, fifty hamburgers," America smirked.
"What?" Sealand inquired, a tad bit confused. "Did you say hamburgers?"
"Yep, fifty of them. What do you think of that, huh? Maybe then next time, someone will think twice before pulling a stunt like this."
"If you say so,"
"Oh, but I do say so," the American said as he walked away. "I do say so indeed."