When Has One Lived?

by Icy Doodles

Unnexpectedly, and fully prepared for yet another blood-shed, Inuyasha happens upon Sesshomaru, his half-brother. Almost immediately, the hanyou senses something amiss. Why does Sesshomaru smell so differently? And why is it that, while faced with the skewer of a sword, all the youkai lord can do is talk?

The proud, stoic daiyoukai stood motionless in the midst of the rising day. The grass was still beaded with dew, and the water was still shrouded with post-summer fog. He'd been there all night-still as the unawakened scene before him; eyes cold as the incoming winter.

The hanyou could smell him. He had scented his brother the night before, but had to ensure Kagome was safely back in her world before he could do anything. By the time he had returned, Inuyasha expected the youkai to be gone-off pillaging some village or something. Oddly enough the scent was still strong. So, following his nose, the hanyou stalked through the forest. Pointless, he knew, since Sesshomaru had better senses than himself and a surprise attack was highly unlikely. Giving up the guise, Inuyasha bounded past a few more trees when he saw the distinct white figure that was his brother and drew Tetsusaiga as he leapt in front of the youkai. Ears perked and lip curled into a growl, the hanyou took a step forward and flaunted his sword, his slight irritation at the early time slipping into his tone. "Oi, bastard! What're ya—" Inuyasha lifted his nose—looking much like his brother when the youkai decided to act like a stuck-up child-and sniffed loudly. Something didn't smell right. The hanyou was almost positive it was Sesshomaru, but if it was, he didn't exactly care to know. "What're ya doin' here?"

Sesshomaru did not even blink when his hanyou brother appeared in front of him, rearing up for an attack. His gaze remained distant, though focused on nothing, for the milky-white fog blanketed the far distance from view. "I am doing nothing, Inuyasha. I was rather enjoying the silence, actually."

His sword drooped slightly—he was expecting retaliation, not.. Not something civil. Golden eyes narrowed and his grip tightened on Tetsusaiga's hilt. "If you ain't doin' anything, why're ya here?" If Sesshomaru wasn't going to attack just yet, then neither would the hanyou-he would just figure out why his half brother was being so... weird, and then start their battle.

The youkai still made no move. "How dare you ask that of me, hanyou. The affairs of a full-blooded youkai are none of your concern."

Inuyasha growled. It really pissed him off when others though he wasn't entitled to something just because of his blood—which he had no control over. It especially pissed him off when it was Sesshomaru who did it—the bastard was related to him, and even though they shared their father's blood, the youkai didn't give a shit about him. He probably thought less of the hanyou just because they were half-brothers. "Just answer the damn question or I'll use my Wind scar!"

"..I do not know." The inuyoukai had scented the hanyou long before he'd arrived in this secluded place. He knew his brother was near, and yet he'd ventured into human territory without reason. But here, he'd stayed, trying to keep the distance that had always served him well.

The hanyou stared at his brother. "How the hell do you not know?" Really, what was the youkai playing at? Did he plan on just lunging at the hanyou suddenly, in hopes of dismembering or killing him? Inuyasha didn't know and he remained on edge. If Sesshomaru wasn't going to act normal than the hanyou saw that as all the more reason to have Tetsusaiga out and ready.

Sesshomaru ignored the hanyou's brash questioning, choosing instead to smile cruelly. "What are you doing, little brother?"

The hanyou's ears flicked at his brother's expression before he puffed up and flashed his fangs. "I'm wondering if there is a reason I shouldn't kill ya."

"No. There is no reason. But that is not what I am asking. What are you doing with your existence? Time advances, leaving you in its dust. You will out-live every single one of your humans. Your dependence on this lifestyle is far too great. What will you do when everything you know is gone from you?"

"Why do you care all of a sudden? I'm just the mutt of the family—it shouldn't matter what I do.." He glanced away, he knew what would happen to his friends. But he still had time to figure out what to do once they were gone, so he wasn't worried. Much. The hanyou growled again as his eyes snapped back to Sesshomaru's, he didn't like that his brother was toying with him. "What do you even do? Sit up in your castle and whip people with your poison just for the fun of it?" Yeah, seemed like something the sadistic bastard would do. "I bet you haven't done half the things I have—I've helped people! What, you saved one girl? Big whoop."

The youkai glared haughtily at his ranting brother. "I do not care, Inuyasha. I am simply curious." He broke his stiffened stance, turning to face his brother. "It is not in me to be like you, wretched hanyou. You and I have rather different plans for life."

He tensed when the youkai faced him, returning the glare with one of his own. "'Course we got different plans. Everything was just handed to you! I got nothing! I was alone while you were livin' it up in the West. You think you're better than everyone just 'cause you're full-blooded, but you ain't." Inuyasha was rather enjoying telling his brother off like this since they normally jumped straight to combat, but he still had a good grip on his sword, just in case.

"You did not have my sympathy then, and you do not have it now. Answer me my question, hanyou. What will you do when all that you know is gone?" He took a slow step forward.

Inuyasha's ears flicked once more, but he stood his ground. He did not particularly feel like answering as his brother demanded, but decided to do so anyway. But not because the youkai was intimidating—because he wasn't. "I'll.. Stay in the village. Protect the new humans." It's not like he could do much else anyway. Other demons hated him, but the villagers... They had slowly come to accept him. He could only hope that it would stay that way with the new generations.

"..I see." Sesshomaru sat in his place, far more carelessly than usual, in a direct ray of morning sun, allowing his forearm to drape across his right knee.

Inuyasha was unnerved by his brother's calm, but seeing the youkai sit, he slowly sheathed his sword. He kept his hand on the hilt as a precaution and regarded his brother curiously. "..What's it to ya anyway?"

"You may not think so, hanyou, but you are free to live your life as you see fit. Your drive appears to be the safety of your humans. I only wondered if you would still realize your position, even after they had passed."

"Oh." The hanyou was silent a moment while he wondered why his brother had come. The youkai said he didn't know... But as long as Inuyasha could remember, Sesshomaru always had a reason for everything. Even if it was some off the wall crazy reason that no one got, there was still a reason. Forever incapable of controlling his mouth and seeing no other topic to go to, Inuyasha blurted, "Why do you smell weird?"

Sesshomaru raised a brow. "You are in no position to question another's smell. Once mine becomes more repulsively stronger than yours, then you may talk." With his one arm, the youkai unlatched his armor and dropped it to his side with a clang, feeling little need to wear it. 'Twas uncomfortable anyway. "You are right, Inuyasha-that there is much I have not done. Just as there was no one to teach you to survive, there was not a soul to teach me how to live beyond myself and my status."

Inuyasha was at a loss for what to do. His brother dropped his armor in front of him, which was enough to make him disregard the scent comment. The hanyou frowned slightly—the way he'd thought that made it seem as indecent as dropping his pants... He shook his head to lose that train of thought and stared at the youkai in surprise before hesitantly sitting cross-legged where he stood. He was still far from comfortable. Though his brother deemed him even less of a threat than normal, Inuyasha was almost nervous now. He was not used to this side of Sesshomaru and didn't know how to respond to it, so he settled for this odd civil conversation. "So? I mean, I learned—I'm here aren't I? Why didn't you?"

"It is not necessary to learn such a thing. In fact, one is likely to survive longer without it." The youkai lord gave his brother scrutinizing once-over with his golden eyes. "And yet, here you are. A living mistake, along with plenty of accepted burdens. Do you enjoy this sort of survival?"

"Keh." Inuyasha rolled his eyes with a snort. "What I do? It's called living. I don't know what the Hell you do, but I don't think it's living."

Sesshomaru blinked, focusing on a blade of drying grass. "Then how is it that one begins living?"

"Uh.." The hanyou scratched at one of his ears and thought. When did he start living, rather than surviving? It was when he met Kikiyo... "When you do things you don't have to—but you want to. When you care about other people. Its when.. You start to enjoy the fact that you exist... And you stop thinking that you don't fit in the world.."

Sesshomaru's lip twitched. The dry humor of it all. "I imagine it to be more difficult than it seems."

"For me, yeah. No one likes a hanyou. But you..." Inuyasha shrugged. "You're a lord, so you can do whatever you want."

"You win more over than you keep as enemies. As a lord, hanyou, I have multitudinous enemies that must always be enemies. I do not seek kinship, Inuyasha. Is it not considered living when you have no need for others?"

"You need others. Why else would you come and fight me, never taking Tetsusaiga? Why would you save the girl? You need others—everyone does—you just think you're above that too."

"I do not take Tetsusaiga from you now, only because I am unable to wield it," Sesshomaru spoke sternly, straightening his posture. "And I need no one."

"Don't ya think those excuses are all gonna fall apart on ya one day?" The hanyou relaxed, leaning back on his hands as he watched his brother. This was getting fun again—he wondered how irked he could get the youkai before he would attack.

He stretched his clawed fingers, cracking a few of them. "Your still being alive is truly amazing. The way you have dropped your guard in my presence just now. Are you counting on an underlying bond of brothers to ensure your safety?" The youkai raised a brow. "Honestly."

Furry ears twitched involuntarily with each crack of the youkai's fingers. "Feh, I've never had that to count on." He nodded to the discarded armor. "You were the one that dropped your guard first. 'Sides, you smell funny today. And you haven't made a move to kill me yet." Inuyasha couldn't resist the urge to bring up his brother's scent—it was different and it was bugging him.

"I assume you remember my previous answer regarding scents,' he paused, making his point clear. "I am never the first to lower my guard, Inuyasha. You came to me simply because I was in the area, as you have often done. You dropped your guard the moment you chose not to go straight for the kill." With greater force than necessary, the youkai flung his swords to the side opposite his armor. "Look now, brother, I am defenseless. Take your prize." Sesshomaru challenged the hanyou with his eyes.

Inuyasha was tempted, but he didn't move. That's not how he did things. "I'm not gonna kill ya if you won't fight back." His ears slanted backward and stayed there. He knew his brother had his poison whip, his claws, his fangs. The youkai was far from defenseless, but still. Inuyasha didn't want to fight a fight that wasn't fair. And his brother's behavior was more than a little intriguing. If he killed the youkai, he would never find out anything about the scent or this behavior.

Sesshomaru tilted his head slightly, causing silver hair to slip from his shoulder. "Why not? My loss would instill apathy, at best. Even in you."

"It's not fair. I won't do it. Why—do you want to die? The high and mighty Lord of the West can't handle his responsibilities anymore?"

The lord watched the water's edge, following the silvery sheen of fish scales and pondering the detail his demonic eyes were still able to capture. "I am merely attempting some...different approaches. Who knew one could feign civility by simply giving up?"

Inuyasha huffed. So far, the youkai had gotten all his answers, but Inuyasha? Nope, he got threatened. Okay, so maybe he got some answers but none that he really wanted. He would try again. "What did you give up on?"

"Nothing at all. Accept for a pleasant afternoon spent fighting with my only remaining connection to this world." As of late, the youkai hadn't the mind-set to fight. He reminded himself of an elder; desiring little more than enjoying what unique beauty each day brought forth to him.

Inuyasha nodded and shifted, unable to stay still for long. He rearranged himself so that he was lying on his stomach looking at his brother. With his chin in his hands, he grumbled: "I still don't get why you're here.."

"Why does any other being do anything frivolous? Naraku has been extinguished. I have nowhere else to be. And nothing to care for besides myself." Sesshomaru looked at his brother suspiciously. "And you've not yet left."

Inuyasha shrugged. "You keep talking. If I left then you'd look crazy. I don't want people to know I'm related to someone crazy." And of course, he still wanted to know what was up with the youkai's scent. And... Kagome wasn't around so he was more than a little bored too. "But what about the girl? And the frog. Where are they? They used to follow you everywhere."

Sesshomaru had the urge to rub his temple with his brother's words. "Your logic never ceases to appall me." He picked up a pebble and tossed it into the water, startling the fish he had been watching. "I left Rin in a human village, where she will remain for the rest of her days unless she decides to move elsewhere. I left Jaken as well. He will ensure her safety." He remembered Rin's face as all recollection of Sesshomaru had faded from her mind. He had told the child that they would spend the day in the fields—picking flowers. And that they had. Rin had done the picking, rather. Sesshomaru had simply watched her as he features flipped back and forth from determination, to glee, as she gathered flowers, and then to utter adoration when she handed the lord a large bouquet of blue, white, and pink flowers. He had accepted the gift with sincere gratitude. But as he'd known it would all along, their day came to an end. And an infinite amount of days flashed through the youkai's mind that would never come to pass, as Rin's memories were sucked away at the hands of a sorceress.

"Why did you leave them? You seemed to at least tolerate the girl. I think I woulda kicked the frog to Hell and back if I had to deal with him as much as you did though..." Inuyasha stretched his legs as much as he could, toes curling and cracking as they dug into the dirt which collected under his claws.

"It was..." The lord frowned. "Necessary."

"Why?" Inuyasha felt like a child again, asking all these questions.

"It was time for her to live her life. Going by what you told me of living, keeping her away from, and in fear of, her own kind, was no life for her. And my lands are...peaceful as of late. I am no longer needed." He spoke with an even tone.

"You're still the Lord though. Isn't there... Stuff you need to do?" He had no idea how being a Lord worked, but it seemed like there would be paperwork or something involved.

"Well yes. And no. Without me there, someone else will claim it. Though rest assured, I will be there until the end of my days." The youkai narrowed his eyes at his brother. Not to be threatening, but in an attempt to see what the hanyou saw through it all—through stained eyes. "What would you do if I told you our father's sword, and your blood, no longer mattered to me?"

The hanyou's ears perked forward at his brother's words. "Well... I would be surprised, but you've thrown me for a few loops already... So I'm used to it." Inuyasha tilted his head slightly, looking very much a dog that his demon side hailed from. "Why the sudden change of heart?" Though, its not like he hadn't had one too.. He was lying down, having a conversation with his brother. A civil one. No more threats, or weapons drawn. It was kinda... Relaxing. He liked it.

"Hn. It seems..." Sesshomaru glared out at the clearing horizon. "When one lives long enough, time can bring forth a reconsideration of One's past—and One's future. My heart has not changed, Inuyasha, do not be mistaken. I merely see no gain in our previous actions."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and sat back up, this time closer to his brother. But he wouldn't be mistaken. No, 'cause when a someone like Sesshomaru has a change of heart it gets denied. And denied. And denied. He'd go along with it, for the sake of the youkai. Wouldn't want to ruin this little truce they had going. Inuyasha was rather enjoying the calm. It was.. Relaxing. He wondered if, since his brother didn't want his sword anymore, their meetings would continue to be like this.. It was odd, but he thought he might be able to get used to it over time. "Is there gain in this then? Just.. Talking? We never really did this before.."

The lord thought about his purpose for a moment, warming a little. "No...no there is not." Sesshomaru pressed his hand into the cool grass, a stark contrast to his pale skin. "To find myself in this position, after all this time...I must have suffered an aneurism." His eyes flicked back to the hanyou, taking time to read his features; features foreign to the youkai lord who had only seen an aggravated side of his brother. "Do you feel you can care for yourself when the change of the world sweeps the ground from under you, and your humans have passed?"

Inuyasha wondered if his brother truly had suffered from some medical thing; he was being oddly kind. Moments later, his ears lowered, he really didn't want to think about his friends dying even though he knew they would. He toyed with a few blades of grass, piercing them with his claws and twisting them as he thought. "I was on my own before... It shouldn't be any different.."

"Perhaps.." From where, Sesshomaru did not know, but from some temporarily opened spigot, questions were flooding his mind. Questions for his hanyou half-brother. He did not particularly want to hear their answers. But somehow, he needed to know. "Are you mated to the miko?"

Surprised eyes rose to his brother's. "Kagome? Nah, she... She's got a lot of things to do—things I don't understand. And it wouldn't work anyway. She's human... I'm not." Inuyasha sighed. She had embraced who he was... But the beads. They always hurt and she never seemed to care. It bothered him more than he let on, so he tried to make it clear that he didn't want to be with her.. But she looked so much like Kikyo and it was so hard sometimes. It made his chest hurt just thinking about it.

Sesshomaru raised a brow. "I had thought you were quite taken with her." The youkai spared a glance at his discarded armor, noticing that it did not quite gleam as it once did. "No matter. I never saw any use in taking a mate. It requires far too much sacrifice. Beings never turn out to be what you originally thought them to be. Utter disappointments, all of them.."

Inuyasha's ears flicked. Was he one of 'them'—the disappointments? It surely seemed that way, but he was used to it by now. He held no false hope that it would change. "Wouldn't you need an heir?"

The youkai's lips thinned. Sesshomaru had imagined that, given time, he would find an acceptable mate who would bear him an heir. But the lord was selfish, cruel, and scrutinizing. Even when suitable female youkai would flock at his feet, knowing full well his unsavory demeanor, he would refuse them. And now, his abundant chances had dwindled and passed. His ability to produce an heir had been extinguished. The inuyoukai bloodline was left with Sesshomaru and Inuyasha alone. If his hanyou brother ever mated, their once proud bloodline would carry through a line of humans, being cut in half with each passing, until it became nothing more than rumors of the past, or bedtime stories for restless children. "No, Inuyasha. There will be no heir."

The hanyou looked up when his brother spoke, there was something in the youkai's voice that bothered him. He felt like a somber blanket had settled over his shoulders but he didn't know why. Inuyasha shrugged as if to rid himself of the feeling and swallowed heavily. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Between this odd peace, his brother's abnormal behavior and his strange scent, Inuyasha didn't know what to think. "..Sesshomaru?"

Face devoid of emotion, the lord stared, unblinking. "What is it?"

Inuyasha frowned, ears flicking in an agitated manner. "What do you plan on doing?"

The youkai looked at his brother with concealed confusion. "What is it that you mean?

"Well, you asked what I was going to do once my friends died... What do you plan on doing in the future?" Inuyasha met his brother's gaze, still frowning slightly.

The lord allowed some of his stoic mask to slip, revealing a hint of uncertainty. "I will go on as I always have. My future holds nothing that will change what I've become. All that can be done is to make peace with it."

Inuyasha shook his head slightly and scooted closer, eyes narrowing as he gave his brother a once-over. "Make peace with what though?"

"With everything I've ever done. It is good to be satisfied with past endeavors, is it not?"

The hanyou sighed. "Yeah, I suppose. I don't get you, at all though."

Sesshomaru's incessant gaze on the hanyou softened, removing some chill from his eyes. "Perhaps that is for the best. But I must ask one more thing." A cloud moved in front of the sun, relieving him from its constant brightness. His turn for the sun's warmth had passed. But a ray of light remained fixated on his hanyou brother who had inched into the lord's vicinity. "Do you hate me, little brother?"

Grey ears twitched. Did he? Did he hate the only living family that had shunned his existence? Who had helped him kill Naraku. Who was now being peaceful and seemed almost... Considerate. Did he hate this youkai? "I did. I still should... But, I don't. Don't get me wrong, I ain't gonna be all brotherly love and hugs with ya, but I don't mind this." He nodded resolutely. "What about me? You said you didn't care about my blood, but do you still hate me?"

The youkai truly could not say. Hate, tolerance, love...it all melded together to one who had always refused to feel. He would be lying if he thought that what he was doing right now, was out of compassion. Inuyasha truly was Sesshomaru's only remaining tie to the world. Rin had forgotten. Jaken had left with a solemn oath to remain with her. What was this encounter, really? It was accidental and trivial; two things that would have never described this lord's actions. Did he really want to know his brother when he had never before made an effort? Or did he simply want to be remembered with a little bit more than apathy, once he retreated back into seclusion? Either way, it did not matter. Sesshomaru stood gracefully, gathering his armor and swords, and returning them to their proper places. Once he had successfully retained his usual appearance, he faced his hanyou brother, standing close enough to look down as he spoke. "This will be the last time we meet, Inuyasha."

The hanyou scrambled up, confusion all over his face. "What do you mean?" He didn't like being told anything that sounded that final—he'd lost too many people and knew it was bad. He may not love his brother, but this meeting had given him a small hope that they might be able to forge some tiny bond.

The lord's claws began to delve into the skin of his palm. This was bothering him more than he had anticipated. "I mean exactly as I said. I expect you to honor it. And if you wish...you may remember me, exactly as I am now."

"Wait, what the Hell are you talkin' about?" Inuyasha stared up at his brother in angry confusion. How could the youkai just expect him go along with something he didn't understand? "Why is this the last time we're gonna meet?"

"Inu-yasha." The lord ground out crossly. "If you attempt to cross me, I will render you unconscious." Sesshomaru closed his eyes, clearing the agitation from his breath. When he looked at his brother again, his face was free of anger. All that was left was a sense of finality. Perhaps even a touch of dismay. "I have no reason to return to these lands, Inuyasha. My part here, has come to an end. And I can see quite well that you have no need for me. You've proven yourself to be a step above 'complete imbecile.'" Sesshomaru's brow twitched to convey an appropriate amount of amusement. "Your place is here. And mine is within the confines of politics and ingrained mannerisms. Give me your word—that you will leave things as they are meant to be."

Inuyasha opened his mouth—ready to refuse his brother's demand when he realized he would probably be knocked unconscious very swiftly, just like the youkai had said. He snapped his mouth shut, fangs clicking against each other. He didn't—couldn't—understand this. Why was Sesshomaru acting like this? He didn't want his only brother to just up and go... He didn't even know why. For some reason, the thought of losing this youkai.. Almost hurt. He had been there Inuyasha's entire life. Either as a looming shadow, a fierce battle partner, or a fellow Naraku-hunter. And always his brother. Even if he didn't want to recognize Sesshomaru as his relative all the time, there was still common blood between them. "Tell me why you're just leaving like this.. And I'll leave it." He clenched his jaw and stared up at his brother defiantly—the stubborn hanyou he'd always been.

The youkai's striped hand loomed in the small space between him and his brother. "You have a choice, hanyou. I could leave now, and have it be just as we are. Or I could leave you with a lie." The lord had never been fully honest with his brother in the past. But he could not leave his brother in truth. Inuyasha would have to settle for the unknowing.

"Why can't you just tell me!?" His voice bordered on a growl as his eyes flicked between the youkai's hand and the set of eyes that matched his own. The hanyou didn't want his brother to knock him out, but he needed something more than just 'Oh, I'm leaving and you won't see me again.' It didn't feel right to let Sesshomaru go. "Can't you tell me something more...?" He gulped and his ears laid back some. "..Please."

Sesshomaru raised his hand, peering into mirroring eyes that gave way to so much more than his own did. His brother's eyes were golden pools of care and concern; a feature the demon lord hoped he would retain. Once one was able to cease the flow of emotion, the ability to covey it all once more, was rather difficult to replenish. His raised hand did not strike this vibrant face. Slowly but surely, each one the youkai's fingers, followed by his entire palm, slid into place along the hanyou's steadily coloring cheek. "I will tell you Inuyasha, that it is for the best. Nothing good will come for either of us if you learn my reasoning. It is my wish for you to know me as I am now. And not as anything more...nor anything less. Can you not simply fulfill my wish—as my brother?"

His ears burrowed into his hair from embarrassment as his eyes stayed locked with his brother's. What could he do now? He'd always been weak to such requests—ones that played on his desire to be accepted and his sense of guilt. But, he didn't owe Sesshomaru anyth—well.. He did cut of his brother's arm.. Wounded him on a few occasions.. So maybe, it would be better to do what the youkai wanted. It was hard for him to let go though. He was hung up on Kikiyo for years and even after her death too. Dirty claws dug into his palms. He hated goodbyes. Maybe he wouldn't be as okay as he thought he would when his friends...died. Maybe he should just get pinned to a tree for another 50 years so he wouldn't have to deal with it. But he couldn't do that and he knew it. He had to be around. "I will..." A sense of dreadful finality settled on his shoulders with those words. It drove him to do something he never thought he would ever. Ever do. The hanyou closed the small amount of distance between them and wrapped his arms around his brother. With the armor, it was a little awkward, but his length of fur was rather soft. Fisting the silky fabric at his brother's back, Inuyasha hugged him. He didn't get a chance at a proper goodbye with his mother or with Kikiyo when she was alive.. But he was given a chance with Sesshomaru. He needed it if he was going to let his brother go like he wanted. He tried his hardest to ignore his brother's scent—he didn't want to know now that he had come to terms with him leaving. Instead, he closed his eyes and tightened his grip.

Sesshomaru's eyes widened, and his breath hitched, with blatant disbelief as he stood in his brother's accepting embrace. He found himself frozen as a hand fisted the fabric at his back. Not even Rin had received a parting embrace, for she'd no longer known him at the time. His brother knew him now as the proud daiyoukai he would always be. He would always be thus in his own eyes, and with this parting, he would always be thus in the eyes of his last remaining flesh and blood. His hand awkwardly held the hanyou's shoulder as he found himself leaning into this especially foreign emotional exchange. "..You have my gratitude."

Inuyasha nodded, having a vague understanding of his brother's anti-social manner which probably prevented something as simple as a hug. Other than that, he told himself he didn't want to know. If the youkai had other reasons for thanking him then those were his to keep. The hanyou sighed and then leaned back to look at Sesshomaru, though he kept his arms around him; he wasn't ready to let go just yet. His ears hung low as he looked at his brother's face, eyes tracing the patterns of his demon markings. "Can you do me one favor... When you go?"

"Name it."

"Try to be happy... Try to live."

Sesshomaru nodded, a strange sinking sensation plaguing his gut. "..I shall try."

Inuyasha dropped his head back down and mumbled a "thank you," before slowly pulling away and removing himself from his brother. He felt almost.. Broken, knowing his last remaining family was leaving him. Everyone would leave him... Still, he forced a small quirk of his lips as he scratched the back of neck lightly. "So... This is goodbye now, huh?"

His hand lingered on his brother for but a second as the hanyou released him. "Hn, indeed it is. For this lifetime at least." Sesshomaru stepped back, creating some distance between them. "This day...has been but one of many, and of many to come. Will you forget it?"

"The day I hugged ya? How could I ever forget such a monumental moment?" The hanyou smiled wryly, trying to lighten the mood some. "I'll remember. I promise." And he knew that was one promise he could and would keep.

Sesshomaru released a breath he'd been holding for too long. Those who knew any better would call it a sigh of relief. But no one knew the lord so excessively well. Accept perhaps Rin. "I see." The youkai halted when he'd finally backed into the forest's dense tree-line, keeping just shy of its shadows. "You as well, Inuyasha," the youkai announced over the rising wind that disheveled his looming silver strands. "Make good use of what life grants you. Time is precious." And with that—Sesshomaru was gone.

Inuyasha watched as his brother moved and nodded in response to what he said. And when his brother disappeared, the hanyou's eyes stayed on that spot for several minutes. "Goodbye, Sesshomaru..." It was an odd feeling that had made its home in his chest. It was almost like when he found out Kikiyo died, or his mother... He didn't like the feeling at all. Slowly, he turned around and scanned the little glade where he and the youkai had talked... As brothers. Sesshomaru's scent still lingered and it still bothered the hanyou. He pushed it to the back of his mind though as he walked in the opposite direction his brother had. Inuyasha slipped silently into the trees but couldn't bring himself to return to the village. He didn't think he could face the villagers and Kaede... So he wandered. And as much as he fought it, his mind would always circle back to what happened in with Sesshomaru. He couldn't figure out what he should be feeling. Feelings were not always his strong suit, but what he identified in his heart was a tinge of sadness. His only brother—one of two family members he got to meet—was gone. Even though he knew he had his friends, Inuyasha couldn't help but feel just a tad more alone. Ears drooping as he walked, the hanyou sighed. He admitted to himself that he would miss his brother, their fights, and any chances he would have had to just.. Talk. Like they had done today. And he would keep his promise. He would never forget what went on today in the glade.

The hanyou walked until he could no longer bare it, his thoughts still on his brother. He leapt into the branches of a tree and settled himself against the trunk. Both physically and emotionally worn out, Inuyasha closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the rough bark of the trunk. He knew he would go back to the glade tomorrow, to see if Sesshomaru's scent still lingered. And many times after-maybe even everyday—just to see if anything changed, to see if he came back. He drifted to sleep, knowing that nothing would change though. Sesshomaru wouldn't come back from wherever he went, but Inuyasha made peace with that. Still, he would go to the glade as if something were pulling him there. And he would stay for awhile, maybe even talk like he was talking to Sesshomaru.. The youkai would not go forgotten.

Sesshomaru glided through the thick forest silently, armor and swords weighing down his body in all the correct places, hair and fur trailing behind him with majesty. This. This is how the world would know him. For once he entered the walls of his fortress; the lord would not be coming out.

Inevitably, as he walked, the youkai lord reflected upon the time he'd spent with his hanyou half-brother. The lord had not anticipated this sheer...emptiness of erasing all ties to every creature he knew. Nor had he anticipated that it would be almost as diluting for him to leave his brother, towards whom he'd always been so cold and unforgiving, as it was for him to leave Rin. Perhaps it was because Sesshomaru had never needed to bid farewell. No matter how cruel he had been, no matter the words spitefully spat his way, he'd known he would return. He no longer had that notion to rest upon. The lord had showed himself in the hanyou's territory, with every intention of carrying on as the two of them had in the past, never intending to reveal to his brother that something had...changed. But just this once—Sesshomaru's true desire spilled from his heart. A desire to remain a part of this world. After this day, Inuyasha would recall him with more than apathy. And perhaps...the youkai lord's name may even pass the lips of the hanyou's descendants, just like stories of their mythical demonic blood.

For the first time in his life, Sesshomaru was unnerved with a rising sense...of fear. The lord had always known the fear which resided in all creatures. However, he had never once allowed this emotion to spread its crippling bloom in his own breast. But he could do nothing to stop it, once he'd let the truth of it all sink to his core.

It had been far into the night when he sensed the small human's sickness. It had only just begun to spread its vile contents throughout her thin, undeveloped body. Many a time during his travels, Sesshomaru sensed this disturbance among a select few worthless humans. Many of them had already reached the prime years of their lives. He'd thought nothing of the disease during those times; human ailments were none of his concern. The one thing he did know about this particular disease—was that it was always fatal. The inuyoukai had no idea what caused the sickness, but any human infected had no more than two years left to live. He watched her face in the firelight, under the stars of the moonless night. More instantaneous than the sting of his seething, toxic whip, fear clutched at his heart. His human—his Rin—was going to die.

It was unacceptable.

Something deeply instinctual bellowed its desperate cry within him. It was not an option. Sesshomaru would not let her die another painful death. Not while she still belonged to him, not while she still required his care. The youkai lord of the west would stop at nothing to see nature's cruelty unfulfilled. He scoured the country-side, searching for any and all of his Father's connections. He searched for days on end, turned away by those who claimed to be unable to help him, until finally; he discovered a kind, elderly sorceress. This sorceress had the ability to save Rin from her fate.

Sesshomaru would not tell Rin where they were going after their calm day spent gathering flowers. The lord did not want the child to suffer the knowledge of her situation. The proud youkai enjoyed the young human's smile. She wore it, even on the dreariest of days. He would miss it.

Rin fell into a peaceful sleep after a few sips of the old witch's herbal tea. It took little more than three hours for the sorceress work her spells. With the final deed done, the lord anxiously waited at Rin's side until she awoke. She was exactly how he'd intended. He could no longer sense the contracted sickness within her. And the child no longer knew who Sesshomaru was. Blind to his intentions, Rin accompanied Jaken and the silent youkai to a near, prosperous human village, where her and Jaken would live henceforth. All the while, during their final journey together, she hadn't been frightened of him. He silently thanked her for that. Upon his departure from the village, she allowed him one last smile, and a long, whole-hearted wave, before, with little more than a glance behind him, Sesshomaru's ghostly figure disappeared over the hills.

Rin was human, the lord new, but somehow it never mattered to him. A human's life was short and, often times, wasted. There was nothing he could do stop her death from coming as quickly as is does for a human. Whether she had two years, or she had many long years to grow and develop wrinkles in her fair, childish skin, Sesshomaru would still have the same appearance when she finally left him. What was her life compared to his? 'Twas nothing more than a blink of an eye, a frivolous span of time. Sesshomaru had thought he would one day outlive her. But the reality of it all...was that this short span of time—had been more precious than all of his previous years combined. Sesshomaru could have laughed when his brother told him what he thought it meant to be truly alive instead of solely focused on instinct and self-preservation. "When you do things you don't have to—but you want to. When you care about other people. Its when.. You start to enjoy the fact that you exist..." That is the explanation the hanyou had given him. At any other time in his life, the youkai lord would have sneered in his face. The ridiculousness of it all. However...this is exactly what Sesshomaru had done. He had finally learned to live. He saved and sheltered Rin unnecessarily; he learned to care for her, despite her humanity; he began enjoying every coming day that promised a span of time with the happy child. What he had not realized until his visit with the sorceress—is that he had come to care for her, more than he cared for himself. For relieving her body of the deadly, loathsome disease—came with a price. No good deed would go unpunished.

Sesshomaru would take her place.

Youkai were not meant to contract human illnesses, but still he was able to take the disease from her. Sesshomaru had no idea how long the process would last. It was likely that his youkai blood would keep him alive and functioning for far longer than a human would be able to survive. But no longer than twenty years, according to the sorceress. Even for humans it was a slow process. It was his blood that would betray him now; slowly leaving the areas to which it would flow. His strong veins would vigorously constrict, supplying his body with as much blood as possible until blood could no longer pass, and his dry, unyielding veins rubbed together like sandpaper. The unsupplied flesh would slowly decay and rot off the bone. He would never walk as he did now; never move, never hear, never see, never speak. First he would lose his toes and fingers. Then his eyes would likely go. His ears and nose would be rendered useless potions of misshapen flesh. And slowly his limbs would follow suit, rendering him a motionless, senseless, starving shell—of what he once was.

Sesshomaru had a secret room. One that attached directly to his own master bedroom. 'Twas hidden beneath a white tiger skin, through a hollow in the floorboards. This was the location he chose to be his deathbed. He would die there, hidden from sight. Alone. No one would know what had happened. Or even that the lord had died. This was the only way Sesshomaru would have it. For he was forever a proud daiyoukai. That is how he would always see himself. And with all that he was letting go, that is how all else would see him too.

Sesshomaru wandered aimlessly for days, having decided the rest of his life in only a matter of minutes. But as fate would have it...he'd come across Inuyasha. Sesshomaru had felt so unsure, so devoid, so...incomplete. But now, as the youkai lord sauntered through the awakening wood, he had lost all apprehension. Sesshomaru's final tie had been severed without a single remaining drop of bad blood. Inuyasha's acceptance, it seemed, was a deeply-rooted compulsion. One that could only be awakened with the admission of death. As Inuyasha had promised not to forget this day, Sesshomaru would be perpetually grateful for the gift his brother had given him. The gift of internal peace.

Sesshomaru was ready to return home; to begin his resolute crowning journey—of departure from the world of mortals.

Hello again. ^^ I have come a bit farther in the writing world since last I posted here. And I have discovered that there is a name for what Conspiring Word Addict and I have been doing. It is called Roleplay. We now have an unbelievable amount of rps going at the moment. But this one… I felt the need to post this one. This one is a non-yaoi fanfic, so the sheer novelty of that fact has forced me to post it. We just wrote it this weekend; took us two days. Just because it is not yaoi; however, does not mean that those of you are big ole' pervs like me, cannot sense the underlying tones of shonen-ai. ;) As usual, Inyasha is in italics and played by Conspiring Word Addict. And I am, of course, Sesshomaru.

Thank you all for reading our story! I would greatly appreciate some reviews! ^^