A/n: My first story so be nice:D. the song is My Immortal by Evanescence.
Disclaimer:- If I owned Avatar, season three would be out by now.
My Immortal
Zuko paced his room. A fire nation flag covered one wall and his bed lay next to it. The walls were freshly painted red and there was a small window that overlooked the gardens of the palace of Ba Sing Se. A delicate crescent shone outside and few stars peeked out from behind the clouds. His room was on the ground floor and Azula's one above.
"Just another way for her to prove her superiority over me," he thought. "She sits on the throne I stand next to her. She sits at the head of the table, and I sit quietly at the side." He noted these little things that Azula thought he overlooked. And he began wondering… If she was so sure that his father would replace his birthright, then why is Azula acting like the heir?
He started to think. Did he do the right thing? Why did he always have to have all the hardest choices in life? How did he know that he had made the right decision? How was he supposed to separate good from evil? How was he supposed to do all this? Zuko sighed. "I'm just a kid" he murmured, sitting down in his bed.
I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
He thought about his honor. Had he restored it yet? Or did he just lose it all over again? The little honor he still had, had he lost it in his betrayal? Azula said that he would get it all back, but then again, Azula always lies. He knew it was wrong to betray his uncle, whom his father called a traitor, but he had to, so his father would accept him again. He knew deep inside that Azula was lying, but he nonetheless held on the false hope that things would return to normal. It was all he had left. There was only his father left. His mother had gone.
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
Why did she have to go and leave him with those two sadists? And was Azula serious when she said that father was going to kill him? He remembered her words: "I'm only telling you for your own good."
He chuckled bitterly. She never did that. She never cared about him. Did his father still love him? Did his father ever love him? He had realized by now why his father had banished him. He was considered weak. He did not want to slaughter the extra lives, so that made him weak. That made him unsuitable to rule the Fire Nation. He was the weak son of the Fire Lord. That was not appropriate. Fire Lord Ozai refused to be the father of a failure.
"I'm not weak. I'm not a failure." Zuko told himself firmly. But he knew his father saw him as one. He had endured so much for him. He had done so much to show his father he wasn't worthless. He had for three years tirelessly chased after the avatar, hadn't he? He had betrayed his uncle for his father didn't he? Didn't that show he was strong? Somehow, it all seemed so superficial. He knew that his betrayal of his uncle was a sign of weakness, a sign that he was not loyal, but would his father realize that? What did his father know about loyalty anyways?
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
He fingered his scar. It would always be there. Nothing could heal it. Nobody could. Well not nobody… he pushed the thought away from his mind. It was horrible, frightening and worst of all, permanent. So what made him think that his father's decision would be any different? His mind drifted to something he had not thought about for a long time. As childish as it sounded, he wanted his mother again. He wanted things to go back to normal. And somewhere, in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se, Fire Lady Ursa was thinking the same thing.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
She remembered her son. Everything she had ever done she had done for him, and she told him that. She had to leave. The whole palace was a madhouse as were the sadistic psychotic people who lived in it. She had to leave after what she did, but she couldn't bring her son along. She couldn't take away his life at the palace, as a royal prince! That would be selfish. But she had to do what she did. She had to kill Azulon. He was going to have Zuko killed! She remembered telling her son, "that's how mother's are. When you threaten their child, they're going to bite you back!"
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the love you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
Smiling at the memory, the once Fire Lady sighed and turned over in the hard bed in her tiny apartment. She found out that her children were there in Ba Sing Se, as conquerors. Maybe she would pay them a little visit. Explain to Zuko that was already suspected in his grandfather's murder, and that his father had given her only the night to leave the palace. She would only show herself to Zuko then, and no one else. A family reunion would be nice.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
How could she have married that madman? But then again, she hardly knew him when she married him. Her father, a noble man, was only too honored to give up his daughter to the fire lord, and so he forced her into the marriage. It was arranged. It was all arranged. She sighed. She had heard rumors of what Ozai had done to Zuko. She refused to believe it until she saw it for herself. She wanted to see how her children had grown up. She wanted to meet them after all that has happened. She decided to drop by and give her son a little visit.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
He thought about the water tribe girl. He had let her in and she had let him in. they told each other about their lives, how the war had destroyed them. Then why did he turn against her? The avatar. The sight of him triggered something inside him that he thought he had long gotten over. The will, the urge to prove himself to his father. The blue arrow on his forehead singling him out as the last airbender awoke a sudden monster inside him. This little boy who had evaded him for so long was his last chance. Maybe this time he could catch him.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
His thoughts drifted back to his mother. What would she say? She would chastise him for his betrayal obviously, but what would she tell him to do? Would she tell him to join the avatar like his uncle was suggesting? Or would she tell him to go back to the palace and see if he could get his rightful place back? Or would she tell him to run away and try to start over?
Zuko gave a frustrated groan and thumped his forehead with his fist. What had he done? And more importantly, what should he do now?
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
Why did she have to leave? Why? She left him all alone. He sighed. He had always been alone. She told him to never forget who he was. He wasn't even sure who he was now. He was confused. Torn between what was right and what helped him. Somehow everything always went wrong.
He lay down, thinking of his mother. "Come back mom," he whispered into his pillow. And so she did.
A/n: So what did you think?? Should I leave it as a oneshot or continue it?? Please R&R!!!