Family Problems
"It's not like it's his fault!"
"I never said that it was his fault. I just said that it would be easier if we..."
"If we what? Huh? If we threw our own son into the street and told him he was becoming too much of a bother?"
"You know that's not what I said. I only meant that you can't get a job when people know about this. We're suffering, and it can easily be fixed."
"Oh, it's easy, is it? We just pretend like he's dead or something, and then people will welcome me back into the fold with open arms? We'll just keep him locked up for the rest of his life. Then we can relax into selfishness. It's not like he has feelings or anything."
"I would never suggest we throw him out or lock him up. But just imagine what he's going to go through? There's no way they'll allow him at school. Do you know what will happen to his sister? They'll never accept her either, think she's had too much contact. Life would be easier for everyone else, and him, if we sent him to somewhere...better equipped to his needs!"
"THIS IS MY FAULT! EVERYTHING HE IS GOING THROUGH IS MY FAULT AND I AM NOT GOING TO THROW MY OWN SON OUT FOR SOMETHING HE CAN NOT CONTROL! DO NOT ASK ME AGAIN!"
The door slammed and a very thin man came out. The hair that sparsely populated his head was liberally streaked with gray. He had a lined and worn face, but it wore a gentle expression.
"How long have you been standing out here?" he asked his daughter softly, his voice seemed tired, as if that one explosion of anger had taken far too much out of him.
"Just a few seconds, I wanted to know if we had any milk..." she lied, avoiding his eyes. He ran a hand through the thin hair, his face seeming to take on more wrinkles.
"No, we haven't bought any milk lately. We can't get any just now, darling."
"I can walk to the store and get some, I can get there myself, it's no trouble," she turned towards the door, as if that settled things.
"You can't because we don't have any money for milk. I'll try and get some tomorrow after work."
"Oh, it's OK. I don't even like milk too much anyway," she said, sticking her chin out bravely. He smiled and patted one of the small cheeks affectionately.
"That's my girl, very brave. Where is your brother?"
"He's upstairs, do you want me to get him?"
"No, no, that's alright. Why don't you go up to your room so mummy and I can have another talk? I'll be up to read you a bedtime story in an hour or so," he turned to make his way into the room he'd just exited.
"Daddy?"
"Yes?" he turned back to look at her her.
"Are you and mum fighting about Remus again? What has Remus done?"
His face contorted just a bit, then realizing that she was just a little girl and didn't understand he regained control. "Remus has done nothing, love, mum and I just don't agree on whether he should go to be with people...like him...or not."
"Remus isn't any trouble daddy, I don't want him to go away."
"You're a good girl."
Accepted
"Dad! Mum! There's an owl here!" a young girl yelled from the kitchen table where she was eating a breakfast of weak porridge. Her mother walked in, still in her dressing gown.
"Well, let him in," she said, crossing to the stove and pouring some coffee in a chipped mug. The little girl obeyed, allowing a handsome owl to fly in and drop a square envelope on the breakfast table.
"It's for Remus, mum," the little girl was grinning, she knew what this meant. Her mother looked shocked, slamming her mug down onto the table so hard that the coffee sloshed over the sides, making a small waterfall and ending on the stained tile. Her mother fixed the spill with a wave of her wand.
"REMUS!" she yelled, and they listened to the sound of feet pounding down the stairs. A dark haired young boy in pajamas came breathlessly into the kitchen.
"What is it?" he asked, looking curious.
"You have a letter...from Hogwarts," his mother looked anxious as she handed it to him. Remus's hands shook as he opened the letter, expecting the worse. He read over it, eyes moving quickly and mouth moving with the words.
"I-I-I got- I'm in!" he yelled, throwing the letter into the air. His little sister grinned up at him. At that moment a lined and greyed man walked through the door, surveying the state of his kitchen.
"What's all this yelling about?" he asked, a worried look barely fading from his face.
"Remus got in! He's going to Hogwarts!"
"That's great, son!" he said, giving his son a tight hug. He gave his smiling daughter a pat on the head. "Hand me the letter and let me read it," after going over all three pages of the letter he nodded, "Albus Dumbledore is a good man. He's going to make special preparations for you to go to school at Hogwarts, Remus. Don't do anything to make him regret it."
"Special preparations...won't this cost us?" his wife asked in a low tone, as if it would stop the children from hearing, "we don't have the money..."
"It's completely free. Dumbledore wants to help in any way he can and says he can't wait to see Remus at Hogwarts on September 1st."
Blame
"Leave me alone, Remus. If I wanted to talk to you I'd find you. Now get away from the door before I jinx you within an inch of your life."
"I just want to help," a young man's voice carried through the worn door.
"Helping will get you nowhere, leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you or anyone else. Can't I just be alone for one moment?" she sounded sharp.
"I know that you feel like this is my fault."
"It is your fault. If you weren't gone once a month no one would make fun of me. No one would ask me questions. No one would follow me around the whole castle asking me what's wrong with you. Then there are people like you who follow me around asking me what's wrong. I just want to be alone. Go away."
Remus sighed, resting his head against the door frame, and sighing. A line formed in between his eyebrows as he pondered his options. He could go away and let her have her quiet, or he could try and sort it out. He thought that his sister might blame him for his troubles, but he'd never really believed it. He still thought of her as the little girl who had worshipped him not too long ago.
"Please...let me come in and we'll talk about this," he asked reasonably.
"Go away!"
"I...you know I can't help it. I didn't choose to be like this."
"You could've refused to come to school here. You could have stayed home with mum and dad, maybe then I'd get some peace."
Tears sprung to Remus's eyes. It hurt to be blamed. He knew his mother thought it was his fault as well, his fault that his father couldn't keep a job and his fault that people gave her weird looks on the street, but no one had ever outright said that it was his fault. He started walking away, half expecting his younger sister to realize her error and run out to apologize, but she didn't. Life was not a story and there would be no tidy end to this chapter.
Deflate
In her mind she had seen herself warding off the Dark Lord and saving everyone else from his wrath. It took her a while to realize that it would not happen the way it did in her head. The day little Harry Potter saved the world was the day her head deflated and she came back to Earth. She realized that not only had she let life and happiness wave to her through the windows a million times, she had missed out on other events she would never get back. She could have laughed past the only boy who ever cared about her.
She could have laughed a goodbye to her whole entire family without even noticing.
She hadn't talked to her parents in over a year, she had seen her brother once in the last six months and had tried her best not to say a word to him, despite the disappointment etched in his young face.
Everyone who seemed to want to know how she was doing, she disregarded as inferior. And only now did she realize it. Only now when it was too late did she realize she'd been wrong.
...she was arrogant even then, thinking that because it was her she'd only get one chance.
If only she'd tried to break the "rules" and make up with everyone while there was time.
But she walked out on her family and remaining friends and went as far away as possible to punish herself.
She did not return for almost 14 years.
Softie
"You look just like our father," she whispered. He had his back turned, but he stood still at the sound of her voice, as if in disbelief. He turned, his eyes meeting hers, barely believing that what he saw was real. "Even more now that I see your face, you could be his twin..." she murmured, and he crossed the room in a few short strides, throwing his arms around her neck and hugging her tightly to his chest.
"It's been a long time," he whispered into her hair.
"Too long, much too long..."
"I haven't even had a letter in 5 years. I'd given up reaching you."
"I know...I'm sorry. After mum died I felt like I didn't owe anyone correspondence. After all, I barely got around to sending her owls and she raised me. I was stupid. Can you forgive me?"
He knew he was too soft, too easy to win over, but seeing his sister's face after ten years had rendered him speechless.
"Of course...of course you're forgiven."
"Softie," she teased, pulling him into another hug, "I always loved that about you." He smiled.
He lead her all around the house, showing her where things went. He didn't have an extra bedroom but offered her his. She refused firmly, stating that she would comfy up the couch and it would be just fine. She did a good job, making the shabby couch look like a plush paradise. The two had a lot to talk about throughout the course of the day, but it finally ended on one subject.
"Why are you here?" he implored, stirring his tea and looking up to meet her eyes. She shrugged, draining her cup.
"I heard he was back, and I wanted to be of some help this time." He looked slightly disappointed at her answer, as if he'd been expecting a more selfess reason. "I wanted to make sure you were OK. Being in Romania, it was difficult keeping an eye on you."
He smiled, standing up to put his tea cup in the sink.
"If you don't mind, I think I'll turn in," she walked towards the kitchen door. Remus nodded, pointing his wand at a few dishes, and making them wash themselves. "Remus?" he turned around to face her, "I never blamed you."
Twenty Years
She sat, leaning against the broken stone, eyes closed. No one was outside any longer. The ground was littered in debris. It was obvious that a battle had taken place only hours before. It was so peaceful at the moment though, that with her eyes closed she could almost trick herself into believing it was the same old Hogwarts it had been 20 years previously. She could hardly believe that the sun would dare to rise on a morning like that. She'd always had trouble with understanding that the world did not turn for her pleasure alone.
The noise from the Great Hall was barely a whisper compared to the noise of crashing stone, loud spells and death screams. Hogwarts had aways seemed so safe. It had been the place that welcomed her back with open arms when she could barely look into the faces of the people at home. Even now with the walls crumbled around her it felt safe, and forgiving.
She shut her eyes tightly, trying to linger on one memory. A bright Saturday afternoon, her sixth year, spread underneath a tree at the lake's edge and watching the Giant Squid flash it's tentacles across the rippling surface of the water. It had been a beautiful day. She'd had a rare moment alone, with everyone inside worrying over their exams, she had been arrogant enough to believe that studying was only for the stupid. She didn't get enough time alone, and she'd basked in it that day. It was one of her best days at Hogwarts, and that was saying something.
There had also been one of the saddest days at Hogwarts, leaning against that same wall, then it had been whole...and knowing it was the last time she would walk out of those doors as a student of the school. The last day of safety before flying into a battle against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named...
But the battle had not come as promised. It had taken twenty years. Twenty years of doing a job she hadn't wanted. Twenty years of waiting for something that wasn't coming. Twenty years making sure she got the alone time she'd craved as a teenager. Twenty years of regretting the choices she made daily. Happiness broke up the solitude, giving her things to love, things to hold onto. After all of that...
It was over. After all of that time. All of the sun and rain and laughter and tears and people and loneliness...it was the end.
Her face relaxed, and she allowed herself the peace she'd really longed for. The people clearing the rubble thought she was only asleep.