A/N: Another humoristic oneshot as I'm still writing the last chapter of Pointy eared professor. Enjoy my silliness.

The Fullmetal Cop

Levi Ackerman didn't have nicknames. He didn't. Not even his wife, one of the few human beings he could stand the presence, could give him a nickname.

Well, at least until his daughter brought her boyfriend at home.

xxx

The boy was avoiding his gaze. Levi didn't like him. Levi definitely didn't like him. How could this boy just show up, pretending to be his Mikasa's special one when he didn't even have the guts to look at him?

He didn't sneer at him just because Levi Ackerman didn't sneer no matter what. No matter fucking what.

"Mom, dad, this is Eren Jaeger, my boyfriend."

If possible, his gaze darkened even more. Eren, who had just found the courage to look at him, gulped.

Petra, instead, was beaming. "So you are the famed boy our daughter kept talking about! I'm so happy to meet you!" She shook enthusiastically the guy's hand, and he smiled hesitantly.

"Likewise, Mrs. Ackerman."

xxx

Dinner was no better.

"I must admit I was pretty afraid to meet you" chuckled lightly Eren.

Petra smirked, looking snidely at her husband, who just answered with a 'what the fuck are you looking at' stare. "Oh, really? And why is that?"

"Well, I have some... anger management problem" he admitted sheepishly "It's pathological. I feared I would end up doing something stupid like snapping in front of you and make a fool out of myself."

Levi felt his eye twitch. One does not simple snap at Levi Ackerman and survive.

"I was especially afraid to meet you, Mr. Ackerman..."

Before Levi could kill him on the spot with a Glare (and the capital G is there for a reason), Mikasa chimed in. "That's because of what he heard from your workmates, dad. Eren actually came up with a nice nickname for you, you know?"

He looked at his daughter in total shock.

A what now?

xxx

Three weeks had passed.

And he still hadn't understood what that damn nickname stood for.

"The Fullmetal Cop".

Well, the "cop" part was quite obvious, as he was a police officer. But, fullmetal? Did it even mean something?

Maybe it stood for "full of metal"? Because of the guns...?

Or maybe "made of metal"? For, you know, he was sturdy as metal?

Irking!

He hated not knowing, but his ego didn't allow him to ask Mikasa, or even Petra who, judging by her giggles, had perfectly understood its meaning.

And, if there was one thing he hated even ore than not knowing, it was other people thinking him to be an idiot.

He'd been called in many ways: the Sadistic Beast, the Obsessive Demon straight from Hell, the Cleaning-freak... but nobody, no freaking one could call him stupid. Or short, for that matter.

He wasn't short. Everybody was just freakishly tall.

Erm, yeah. Anyway.

Of all the boys (or girls: if there was a flaw Levi didn't have was being homophobic) in the world, Mikasa had to choose the one with intermittent explosive disorder, who was scared shitless of him and gave STUPID NICKNAMES! DAMN IT!

He punched the table in frustration.

"Dad?"

He turned and met Mikasa's worried gaze. He growled slightly when he noticed the Eren brat near her.

"Is everything okay, dad?" She asked, again.

"Yes."

Eren shrugged, and was about to turn around and go away when Mikasa grabbed his sleeve, stopping him. "Dad."

"I'm okay."

"Dad. What's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong."

"Dad. Do I have to call Hanji and make her ask you?"

At the mention of the legal doctor, he flinched.

He thought about it for a moment. Either he swallowed his pride and told his daughter willingly, or Zoe made him do that forcefully. And, sweet God, his workmate was scary when angry.

He was about to finally spill it, when he remembered. "Hanji is in South Africa. For the time she'll be here I'll already have resolved the problem." He reasoned, smirking inwardly when Mikasa growled in annoyance and left, the Jaeger boy looking in confusion at them.

Victory.

For now.

xxx

Levi blinked.

What was a manga doing on his bedside table? He didn't read manga.

He picked it up, and his eyebrows shot up when he read the title of the thing.

xxx

"Did you want to talk to me?" Asked a vaguely worried Eren.

Mikasa and her mother were out shopping for a dinner, leaving him and his girlfriend's father alone at home. A terrifying experience, in his opinion.

Levi nodded. "Yes. About the nickname you gave me, to be precise."

Eren's eyes widened. Crap. He didn't like it. Crap, he had just faked his ignorance and he was just waiting for the right moment (namely, the moment when they would remain alone) to kill him!

Or not. After all, he was (supposedly) a cop, one of the good guys. But still!

With these thoughts in his head, he felt an enormous wave of surprise, relief and confusion when he felt the older man's hand patting his shoulder.

"It's a good nickname. I like it."

xxx

Petra giggled. "So giving you that comic was a good idea, huh?"

Her husband barely looked at her, before resuming reading. "I must admit that the story is intriguing."

"Well, it's a start." She chuckled, looking sideway at Levi. "You know, Eren found you really a perfect nickname."

"Hm."

"After all, you're short" Levi's eye twitched "You have a terrible temper" twitch "and you can't stand people telling you that" twitch.

Petra snuggled closer to her husband. "But you are also righteous, clever, strong and capable of great love, when people get to know you better. And I love you for that."

Levi smirked slightly at the auburn-haired woman and hugged her, the Fullmetal Alchemist copy falling on the floor of the bedroom, forgotten.

A/N: Oh... Nayru... that was so cheesy! Ugh, I'm ashamed of myself! The ending, especially, was terrible. But whatever. Review if you want...