A/N: I'm back! Damn, that Season Finale was amazing! I personally loved it, and it had inspired this one-shot from me. It's about nine thousands words and it took me all day to write, so I hope you enjoy my messiness as usual. Just a few ideas I had about Dawsey and how the next couple years with Louie might go. I hope you all enjoy and drop me a review!
You're broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry-go-round
And can't find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
Day 1
Gabby finds herself sitting at the table, a stark white piece of paper staring back at her as she taps the pen in her hand against the table trying to find the words to put down. Chief wanted them to write letter, letters that would be read if anything ever went sideways on a call, and she is struggling. Or at least she has been for the past few days with it.
Everything was a little bit of a mess right now. She's so happy to have Louie with her, to have that hole that's been in her heart since they lost the baby slightly filled. He is a great kid, and though she knows it will never replace what she and Matt could have had with their child, she loves this little boy so much and she feels blessed to have him. And then there is Matt. She hates how this has pushed them apart. She hates that he had to leave while they were still struggling with this. She knows she could have handled it differently, but she was so dead set on making this work with Louie and she can't say she regrets it now that he is actually here with her, but she loves Matt, and no matter how happy she is to have Louie, she still loves him and deep down she wishes he was here with her too. She's not really sure how she is going to do this without him, and if she is being honest with herself she is a little nervous and scared of the prospect.
All of the drama with them has been what's been having her struggling to write this letter. She's not really sure where they stand at this point, and now with him off at a political retreat with the beautiful political consultant she's even more concerned with their standing. There is no doubt that she loves him, and that he loves her, she just hates that everything is always so hard between them. And that, that is what's been making it so hard to write this letter.
Looking over at Louie now as he sits on the couch snuggled up with his blue blanket and his new found friend, the monkey, her heart swells and the words are finally coming to her easier than she expected them too.
Dear Louie,
Chief Boden asked us to write letters to a loved one in case something ever went wrong on a call. I had the hardest time writing this letter. Until you came into my life. I've given up a lot to get to where I am, but when I look at you I know it was all worth it.
I want you to know that the life I've lived, the sacrifices I made, it was in the service of helping others. Sacrifice is the hardest of all human actions, but anyone who puts on a uniform to help others knows it's also the most important. We pay a price for our service, and sometimes that price is beyond our limits. I've made mistakes and bad choices, but life has a way of giving all of us second chances.
Never doubt the power of goodness in one's heart, or for a single second that together we make an incredible family, and you will be loved. Always.
She is just finishing her letter when a knock at the door is pulling her away. She looks up at Louie and he is fighting staying awake as he plays with the monkey in his hands and then looks over at the time. It's nearing 9 o'clock and she makes a mental note to get Louie to bed after this.
When she swings open the door the last thing she is expecting to see is Matt Casey, not only is he not meant to be back until the day after tomorrow, the last thing she expected was for her to be his first visit after the way they left things.
To say she is relieved to see him is the understatement of the century and when he flashes her a small smile she is stepping towards him as he meets her half way and wrapping her arms around him. The unshed tears in his eyes match hers as he pulls her body against his and buries his head in her neck. He wasn't really sure what her reaction would be when he showed up, but he's thankful that it was this one. When he holds her in his arms and looks over at Louie sitting on the couch he knows wholeheartedly that he made the right choice. As she stands wrapped in his embrace she realizes for the first time what this place has been missing, him, and now that he is here this place finally feels like home.
He pulls away and cups her face in his hands as he pulls her in for a gentle kiss. He needed this. He needed the feel of her lips on his more than he cared to admit after having the wrong woman's lips to his. He needed to feel her and know that they were okay, that they could make this work, and that this, that she, was still his home.
"What are you doing here?" She asks in a shocked whisper as they pull away slightly.
He smiles softly, "I needed to come home." He tells her honestly and she nods still feeling the tears in her eyes.
"You want to come in? We can talk." She asks, her arms still wrapped around him as she holds him close, he nods and they pull away so that she can shut the door. "Let me get him ready for bed quick, and then we can?" Matt nods once again, "Make yourself comfortable." She offers and is walking away from him and back to Louie.
She leans down in front of him and Matt watches as she gives the young boy a bright smile. "Hey, Louie, do you remember, Matt?" Louie looks over at Matt curiously before looking back at Gabby quietly and giving her a shy nod. "Let's get ready for bed, okay bud?" Pulling Louie into her arms she navigates around the apartment with him on her hip, grabbing clothes out of the drawer by his bed and laying his blanket on the bed before heading towards the bathroom to help him change and Matt just sits back and watches it all with pride in his heart. He's proud of her. She went after this wholeheartedly and she succeeded. He's always known that she would make an amazing mother, but watching her be so caring and loving to this boy is just a beautiful thing.
He hears Gabby talking to Louie softly in the bathroom as she helps him change and brush his teeth and he smirks when he hears her ask him if Matt can stick around for awhile. She returning a few minutes later with Louis hand tucked in hers this time and he smiles at the both of them as she helps him crawl into bed and gives him his sacred blue blanket and monkey that he takes gratefully. Gabby chuckles and Matt moves from his spot on the chair to over to Gabby's bed to give the two some more privacy.
Gabby can already see his eyes drifting closed, it's been a long day after all so she leans down and kisses his forehead, pulling the covers up to his chin she smiles lovingly. "Goodnight, Louie." She whispers and his eyes are already closed.
She turns the lights off, save for the small lamp that is by her bed and walks over to Matt, stepping between his legs at where he sits at the end of her bed and runs her hands through his hair as his hands go to her hips. "I missed you." She whispers sincerely.
"Come here." He whispers, pulling her to him as he falls back on the bed letting her relax into his arms as his head hits the pillow and hers rests on his shoulder and his lips move to her forehead. "I missed you too, Gabby." He takes a breath and looks over to Louie, making sure he is asleep before he continues. "I'm sorry I left, I shouldn't have gone to this thing, I should have stayed here with you and helped you with all of this..."
"Matt, it's okay. I wasn't exactly being the greatest with communication, I understand why you went. I'm just, I'm sorry for how I handled all of this. I'm sorry I pushed you away, baby. I never wanted this to affect us negatively, I just..."
"Gabby, I'm here. I'm in." He tells her, meeting her eyes as she looks up at him. "I've been trying to tell you this for a week now. I'm here, and I want to be here. I want this, with you, with Louie. I want to be with you, nothing can ever change that, okay?"
Tears gather in her eyes as she shakes her head, "Matt, I love you so much for that, but I don't want to force you into this, I don't want you to do this for me or because you feel obligated to, I want you to want this for you, too, not for me... I don't want you to look back a couple weeks or months from now and regret this, or resent me for pushing you into this, I couldn't live with myself if that happened. You said it wasn't the right time and..." Her tears are finally taking over and he shakes his head, wiping the tears off of her cheeks.
"I know I did, and maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But you know what I also said? I said I wanted a family, with you, Gabs, and I meant that. Just because I said it might not be the right time doesn't mean I don't want this, because I do. I've thought about it a lot and I wouldn't be here if I didn't want this. Maybe you were right, maybe everything we've been through this year has led us to here. All I know is there is nowhere else I'd rather be." He says softly, pulling her closer. "I'm all in Gabby, with you, with Louie. We can do this, together."
She presses his lips to hers firmly, "I love you so much, Matt Casey."
"I love you too."
It's silent for awhile as they relax into each other, but Matt can't fully relax because he knows there is something he has to tell her. He's given her the good news, and now he knows he has to give her the bad. "How did the summit go?" She asks curiously and if he wasn't already thinking about he knows he would have to tell her the truth now. He sighs and rolls them over so she is beneath him and he can look into her eyes. He already knows that she can't yell at him with Louie sleeping only a few feet away, and he's hoping this position will stop her from kicking his ass or worse kicking him out now that they have finally made steps forward.
"Gabby..." He trails off, he's not really sure how to even tell her this.
"What happened?" She questions and he can see the concern in her eyes as her hand moves from his back to his cheek in comfort.
He leans into her touch and lets out a sigh. He knows he has to tell her, they may have left things up in the air when he left Chicago, but they were still together, and he can't keep this from her. "Before I left Springfield, Susan kissed me." He watches Gabby's eyes widen and fill with hurt and he is rushing to explain before she can shut down. "I promise you Gabs I didn't kiss her back, I wasn't expecting it, I packed my bags right after and left right away." He tries to explain and she goes to push him away, but he holds her down gently. "Gabby please." He whispers, meeting her tear filled eyes that now match his. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for that to happen, I didn't want it to happen." He watches her as she averts her eyes and gnaws on her bottom lip and he is sure she will draw blood if she keeps it up. "Baby, please, say something..."
She's silent for a moment more before she finally looks up at him. "You didn't kiss her back?"
He shakes his head, "No. God no. Gabby I want you, I love you." He reassures her and she is silent for a few minutes and he holds his breath just waiting for her response.
"I never liked her, you know..." She finally says and Matt can't help but smirk and she slowly matches it.
"Well, I promise you will never have to worry about her again. I won't be working with her." He clarifies and she can only nod.
"You promise that's all that happened with her? Because I swear Matt if there was more I..." He's cutting her off before she can continue.
"Gabby I promise you it was nothing more. She kissed me, she wrote her room number down on a napkin that I threw away... and came home to you. I swear to you that was all that happened."
"Okay."
"Okay?" He questions, he was expecting a little more fight from the feisty brunette.
She shakes her head as she looks up at him, meeting his eyes. "Matt, I trust you. I mean of course I am upset, but I trust you and if you tell me that's what happened then I believe you..." She sigh softly and wraps her arms around his back, "I don't want to fight with you, we've had enough of that lately. Thank you, for telling me, for not keeping it from me. I love you, and I just want to get past all this, to move on from all of this." She tells him and he can't help but sigh in relief and nods his head in agreeance. That was all he wanted as well. For them to move on, together, as a family.
He presses a gentle kiss to her lips and pulls away slightly, but she pulls him closer. "Stay the night with me?" She asks vulnerably.
He looks over at Louie still sleeping peacefully in his little bed before meeting Gabby's eyes once again. "Are you sure?" He doesn't want to overstep. He knows this is Gabby's first night with Louie and as much as he wants to do this with her he doesn't want to overstep his bounds.
She nods quickly. "Very." She smiles softly before looking over at the bed next to them and then back to Matt with a joking gleam, "Just don't try anything, mister."
He chuckles, but nods his head, he could handle that. They both get up quietly and Gabby changes into some pajamas and throws him a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt of his that she had packed with her stuff, only shrugging when she caught his teasing grin. They both crawl under the covers and gravitate towards each other, snuggling into the others arms for the first time in two weeks.
He thinks she's fallen asleep, so her next words startle him slightly as he holds her close. "Thank you for being here Matt... Thank you for coming home." She whispers and he can hear the emotion in her voice and pulls her even closer.
"There is nowhere else I'd rather be." He whispers back as he looks down at her and then over to Louie, and he truly means it.
And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
And I'll rise up
High like the waves
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
For you, for you, for you, for you
Day 2
When Gabby wakes up in the morning she smiles at the comfort she feels from the arms that are wrapped around her under the covers and the chest that is pressed to her back. She opens her eyes slowly only to be met with another pair of eyes staring back at her.
It takes her a minute to realize what is going on, but she quickly recovers and takes in Louie as he peeks over the side of the bed with his blanket and monkey in tow.
"Hey, buddy." She says, her voice thick with sleep from staying up so late talking with Matt. Louie smiles softly once he sees she is awake. "You want up here?" She questions as she watches him peek over the side of the bed as best as his little legs would allow. He nods enthusiastically and she is pulling away from Matt to pull the little boy up onto the bed. She's surprised when he automatically lays down and snuggles into her, but her heart melts and she will never complain.
She runs a hand through his short curls as his head rests on her chest. "Did you sleep okay?"
He nods his head at her before pointing at Matt as he still sleeps soundly next to them. "Sleep!" He questions and Gabby smirks as she nods her head. She's grateful that Louie doesn't seem to have any problems with Matt being here. She was a little nervous about it after asking Matt to stay the night, but she also knows that if they are going to do this together then Louie is going to have to be around him eventually, but she knows how amazing Matt is with kids and there is no doubt in her mind that Louie will love him.
Matt stirs next to them and his eyes are fluttering open a moment later and widening slightly as he takes in the view. "Morning." He says sleepily.
"Hi, sleepyhead." Gabby mumbles and Casey's smile brightens as he takes in Louie snuggled close to Gabby.
"Hi, Louie."
"Hi." His response is shy, but Gabby knows sometimes a response at all from the quiet 3-year-old is an accomplishment in itself.
Casey looks over at the clock and sees it is only eight. "What should we have for breakfast, Louie?" Gabby questions, running her hands up and down his back. He shrugs and Casey smiles. "How about some chocolate chip pancakes?" Matt asks and Louie's eyes widen as he nods his head quickly. "Pancakes!"
He hops off the bed and Matt and Gabby laugh as they follow after him to the kitchen area to get to work on breakfast. Louie sits on one of the stools and helps Gabby mix the batter as Matt gets to work on the eggs and it hits him just how lucky he is to have this life.
They spend the rest of the day together, mostly at the park down the road and then watch a movie of Louie's choosing that night. It's not until after they have put him to bed that Gabby sits down at the table and Matt looks over at her curiously as she pulls out a couple of pieces of paper.
"What are you doing, crazy girl?"
She smiles back at him, her heart is so full right now and it's all because of him and the amazing little boy fast asleep in his bed after a long exhausting day of fun. She looks at the letters she has already written to Antonio, her parents, the firehouse gang, and Louie and then looks back at Matt. Finally having the heart to write possibly the most important letter of them all.
"I've got one more letter to write." She tells him softly, slightly embarrassed for not writing his sooner, but also happy she hadn't. She's happy that she gets to write it now after the day they have spent together.
Matt can only nod and throw her a smile... He's starting to think he may have one more letter to add to the ones he'd already given to the Chief.
A letter to Louie.
When the silence isn't quiet
And it feels like it's getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise you we'll take the world to it's feet
And move mountains
Bring it to it's feet
And move mountains
Day 3
"Matt!" Gabby hollers through the small apartment, one hand carrying her to go coffee, the other hand pulling a pop tart out of the toaster, burning her hand in the process and igniting a silent curse from her, as Louie sat on the couch with his monkey waiting patiently for his breakfast. Wrapping the pop tart up in a napkin she makes her way over to him. "Have you seen my..." She pauses as he walks out of the bathroom with a smirk on his face, holding the item she was looking for. "Cell phone."
"Thank you, baby." She tells him softly, having handed Louie his pop tart and warning him that it was hot before turning to Matt. He rests his hands on her shoulders and watches as she takes a deep breath and he kisses her forehead.
"Relax, Gabby, everything is going to go just fine." He reassures, and she is grateful. She's not really sure what she'd do if he wasn't here. He'd barely left her side since showing up two nights ago, save for going to get a change of clothes, and she is grateful. She's so happy he is here. This is what she wanted from the beginning, all of them, together, and happy. Really happy.
Louie warmed up to Matt right away and Matt to him. She regrets doubting him now because watching him with Louie warms her heart and the look in his eyes when they are together is something she can't describe. It's the same look he'd get in his eyes nearly 10 months ago when they would talk about the baby they'd made and though it's hard to think about, she loves knowing that Matt is truly happy, just like he was then. If she is being honest, this is the happiest she has ever been.
It's also the most stressed. They are back on shift today and they are running late after waking up late.
She found an amazing day care for Louie and for now Cindy will be watching him overnight while they are on shift until she can get something else arranged... and she is nervous to leave him. She knows it is something they are all going to have to get used to with the demands of her job, but she knows it won't be easy.
"I know, I just... Do you think he is ready?" She asks, looking over at Louie as he takes a bite of his breakfast and stairs at the cartoon in front of him.
Matt can't help but smile at her concern and the loving look in her eyes as she stares at the boy. "He is going to be okay Gabby, and if he's not you are only a call away... I hear the Lieutenant kind of likes you, I'm sure he will let you go check on him." He winks pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her waist. Her arms lock around his neck and she smirks up at him.
"Thank you." She whispers and he raises a brow. "For being here, for keeping me sane. I don't know what I, what we, would have done without you the last few days."
"You would have been just fine," He reassures knowing Gabby wasn't giving herself enough credit, "You are amazing with him Gabs, he loves you, don't ever doubt that."
He watches the tears dance in her eyes as she whispers out an 'I love you' and presses her lips to his. He repeats the words back before kissing her cheek and walking over to Louie, "Ready to go, buddy?"
Louie nods his head and is grabbing his blanket and monkey as Matt grabs his work bag and Louie's backpack and takes Louie's hand as they walk to the door, only turning back once he realizes Gabby hasn't moved from her spot. "You coming?"
She smiles as she meets their eyes and grabs her bag before heading out the door with her boys and taking Louie's other hand in hers.
Gabby is buckling Louie into his seat in the back of the car when Hermann steps outside and throws his bag into his van. "There is the happy family." He jokes, sending Gabby a wink, she shakes her head at him but feels her heart swell at the comment as she looks at the little boy staring back at her. This is her little family, and she wouldn't trade it for the world.
And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand time again
For you, for you, for you, for you
Matt has to practically drag Gabby out of the daycare center after she'd checked on Louie twenty times and made sure all of the workers knew not only her number but also Matt's and the firehouses. Somehow they make to 51 only a couple minutes late and race up the driveway to get changed, knowing everyone else has probably already settled into the common room, only to meet Chief at the entrance to the locker room. "Chief, I'm sorry... We had to drop Louie off, and it..." Gabby starts quickly and Chief is raising his hand to silence her.
"Did he get to daycare alright?" He questions calmly and Gabby nods her head as Matt looks at the Chief skeptically. "Alright then." He goes to walk away before turning back to them. "Let's not make this a habit?" He says sternly and they both nod only to receive a smile from the chief in return that lets them both know they are off the hook.
As they walk into the locker they share a chuckle, deep down they both knew Chief was a softy, especially when it came to them, and kids.
They make their way out to the common room to get breakfast, having missed out on it this morning as they rushed around. She was lucky to have even gotten Louie a pop tart with how hectic their late wake-up call had been. She fills up her plate and takes a seat in between Severide and Matt at the head of the table.
"How is Louie, Dawson?" Otis is the first to ask which draws the attention of the rest of the common room. Gabby lights up at the mention of him and Matt smiles brightly at her reaction as she tells them of how good he was doing and the day they had spent at the park.
"I didn't think the boy was ever going to get off the swings," Casey interjects with a chuckle which raises a brow from all of the guys.
"I thought you just got back from Springfield this morning, Lieutenant?" Cruz asks.
Casey shakes his head, "Nah, I cut it short, got back the night before last." He clarifies and no one misses the smile that he and Dawson share.
Sylvie is the one to interject this time. "That's great, guys." She says sincerely, knowing how much Gabby had really wanted him here, even if she wouldn't admit it.
Connie walks in a few minutes later carrying a new helmet, "Dawson, this came in for you this morning."
"Thanks, Connie." She says taking it from her and looking over the new helmet.
Casey eyes her curiously, "What happened to your old one?"
Hermann is quick to interject. "Dawson didn't tell ya? The girl gave us all a hell of a scare last shift."
"Yeah, I'd thought we lost ya for a minute there," Otis says.
Gabby notices Matt's concern growing, "Guys, it wasn't a big deal, really." She says uncomfortably, feeling Matt's intense stare on her.
"Dawson you were shaking when I got to you." Kelly jokes, no one realizing Gabby's discomfort. Severide directs his attention to Casey. "Hell of a fire. The building went up fast, if it wasn't for Dawson's quick thinking to hang out the window by her cuffs we would've lost her."
They all settle into their own conversations and Gabby finally meets his eyes and she knows he is upset for not telling him sooner.
All we need is hope
And for that, we have each other
And for that, we have each other
1 Month
"I don't understand why you won't just think about it!" Casey says in frustration.
"Because there is nothing to think about Matt!" She hollers back just as frustrated.
He sighs and walks over to her, knowing that the continued yelling will get them nowhere. "Gabby, baby, this place is too small for all of us. I love it, I really do, but when you got this place it was a last resort and you made it work and you turned it into a great little place, but I think it's time... We need a place of our own. Louie needs a bedroom of his own, we need a bedroom of our own." He jokes softly and has to hold back a sigh of relief when Gabby actually cracks a smile too. Their love life coming to almost a halt since getting Louie and sharing the small apartment. Gabby hadn't wanted to stay at Matt's place, understandably, and move Louie around from place to place, so they had spent every night at her place. "We've been putting this conversation off for weeks now. When I asked you to move back in with me before we even got Louie, I meant it. We've been back together for a year now Gabby and I don't know about you, but I'm not going anywhere. I want us to have a place that is ours again." He tells her sincerely as they stand in the middle of the small kitchen with his arms resting on her hips.
She sighs, her resolve finally weakening. "I want that too, Matt... I do. I just, do you really think it's good to move Louie into a new place already? He's gotten so well adjusted here, I'm afraid we are going to backtrack if we uproot him."
It's then that he finally realizes that Gabby's hesitation of moving back in together had nothing to do with her commitment to him and everything to do with her commitment to Louie and he can't help the relief he feels at that realization. "Babe, we can talk to him about it. He is a smart kid, we can show him the place, make sure he is a hundred percent okay with it. I don't want to do anything that he isn't comfortable with either, but baby I think Louie is going to love it."
Gabby nods, finally wrapping her arms around him in return. "On one condition."
"Anything."
"We find a new place, together. I love your place Matt and I know we picked it out together, but it just holds a lot of hard times for us and I really just want a place we can call ours, finally. A place we can have a fresh start, with Louie."
He pulls her body tightly to his and kisses her deeply, "I think that is a great idea, Gabriella Dawson. I'll let Kelly know I will officially be moving out, though I think he has gotten the idea from me never being home." He says sheepishly, knowing he's spent almost all his free time at Gabby's place with her and Louie.
Gabby smiles happily, "I'll let Hermann know I'm going to be moving out." She says excitedly, moving to go do just that only to be pulled back quickly to Matt's body.
"You know, Hermann and Cindy did say they would keep him until lunch so we could talk things out." He whispers in her ear. They'd settled this all much faster than either had anticipated, and he was fully intent on taking advantage of the little, very rare, alone time they had.
"Matthew Casey, are you trying to seduce me?" She jokes and the wolfish smirk that takes over his features lets her know she is in for it.
"Absolutely."
We will rise
We will rise
We'll rise, oh-oh
We'll rise
3 Months
They close on a four bedroom house only a month later. It was a fixer upper and Matt was ecstatic about that. It's a yellow two story house only a couple neighborhoods over from the Hermann's, a park is down the road, and it's in a great school district. Matt comment's on the color of it and that he can paint it if Gabby wants, but she tells him no. Yellow was perfect. It was a little bright, but she loves it and she loves the red door on the front of the house and she thinks maybe the bright color is resembling how their lives have been going lately. It has a full wrap around porch that needs some work and a huge yard and it's a lot bigger than they need but they got an amazing deal on it and she's excited to turn this place into a home.
When they tell Louie about moving out of the little apartment he is skeptical, but they take him to every house they visit and when they showed up at the yellow two-story and Louie walked into the backyard to see a half built tree house that the previous owners had abandoned he is just as sold on the place as his foster parents were.
Matt had spent a month doing a little work on the place before they moved in, and though he is still working, the place is liveable and neither of them could wait to get into it.
It's a warm day in the beginning of August when Gabby steps out the back door to find Matt hammering away at the steps with Louie at his side a few feet away, his toy tool belt strapped on in the same fashion as Matt's as he hammers away at a different step with his toy hammer and Gabby's heart swells uncontrollably.
"How are my boys doing?" Gabby asks giving Matt a smirk as he wipes the sweat off his forehead and takes a gulp of the water bottle she has brought. She leans down and gives Louie his sippy cup.
"It's coming along," Matt says, inspecting his work, Gabby goes to reply but is cut off by the boy.
"I'm helping Daddy!" He says enthusiastically and both of them pause as he continues to hammer away at the steps, unaware of his foster parent's shock. He'd never called either of them Mom or Dad, and they had never pushed him, or even asked him too. Gabby immediately feels tears in her eyes and a tightness in her throat as she stares at the boy and looks to Matt and sees the shock and love in his own teary eyes.
Matt looks back at Louie and smiles softly. "Yeah, you are buddy. The best helper I've ever had." Gabby can hear the tightness in his throat and she walks up to him, not caring about the sweat he is covered in from his hard work and pulls him into her arms, burying her head in his chest and letting the happy tears fall down her cheeks quietly.
They stand on their back porch of their new home in the others arms as Louie hammers away at the step oblivious to just how insanely happy he has just made them both.
I'll rise up
Rise like the day
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
6 Months
"I 've uh, I've got kind of a crazy idea," Matt says one night while they lay in bed after finally being settled completely into their new place.
Gabby looks at him curiously and rolls over to face him, "Go on."
Matt looks over at her and takes a deep breath before sitting up and turning towards her and she can tell whatever he is going to say is serious. "Baby, what is it?"
"I want to adopt him, Gabby... I want us to officially adopt Louie." He tells her quickly. It's an idea he had been mulling over for weeks now just trying to find the right time to bring up.
Her eyes widen at his admission and she is sitting up as well to face him. "Are you serious, Matt?" She asks softly and watches as he nods.
"I am. Gabby these past six months with him have been... amazing... and I can't imagine him not being in our lives. He's, he's our's Gabby, and I don't want some other family coming in and taking him away. Right now we are just his fosters and it's a real possibility of that happening... and I couldn't live with myself if it did. I want us to adopt him, I want Louie to be my son and you to be his mom, officially."
She has tears trailing down her cheeks at his words and she nods softly. "Okay." She whispers. "Yes."
Matt lets out a relieved sigh and wraps Gabby up in his arms. "That was easy." He jokes softly, but she can hear the emotion laced in his voice.
"I've been thinking about bringing it up to you for awhile... I just wasn't sure if it was the right time." Gabby admits as she wipes the tears that have escaped. "But I only want to do this if it's what Louie wants too." She clarifies.
Matt nods quickly, "Of course. We can talk to him about it this weekend." They both nod and sit in silence for a moment, the weight of this decision setting in.
Gabby chuckles softly and meets Matt's eyes. "I would never have thought a year ago this is where we would be... but I am so happy this is where we are at Matt. I love you so much, you and Louie, you really are my world."
He pulls her into his arms and kisses her head. "Thank you so much for giving me this life Gabby." He whispers.
It's that Saturday morning after their usual French toast breakfast that they decide to set Louie down and ask him about officially adopting him, only to be met with his confused look.
"Daddy, I thought I already was yours and Mommy's?" He asks innocently and for the first time they realize that to Louie, this had been his home from the moment he stepped foot in it, to him it had never been a question.
With tears in her eyes, Gabby nods as she pulls Louie into her arms and holds him close. "You are buddy, you are."
And we'll rise up
High like the waves
We'll rise up
In spite of the ache
We'll rise up
And we'll do it a thousand times again
8 Months
Matt and Gabby are surprised with just how quickly they are able to draw up papers to adopt Louie. Miss Cantrell checks on Louie often and she became their biggest help through the whole ordeal while they still work on the process. It's not official yet, but they are getting there and they are both incredibly excited for it.
It's a Saturday night and they are both free from all of their work and Antonio has agreed to take Louie for the night so that the couple can have a night for themselves for the first time in weeks, and of course they are starting it out at Molly's with their 51 family.
"Ah, there they are!" Hermann hollers from behind the bar when they walk up. "I swear I never see you too outside of work." He jokes, but other 51 members that are crowding the bar all nod and agree with him and Matt and Gabby shake their heads at them.
"Louie keeping you two busy?" Boden asks and they both nod.
"We are working on potty training right now," Casey said in dismay and Gabby chuckled and patted his cheek. It had been an exhausting week for the both of them with this potty training.
"He's not potty trained yet?" Cruz asked surprised and Gabby shakes her head.
"He moved around so much before us that no one took the time to before. We've tried once before a few months back but he was pretty against it and we didn't get very far, but we revisited it this week and we are getting there, so fingers crossed we will be out of pull ups by the end of the month." Gabby explains. It's crazy to think that a year ago she was the one listening in on Hermann telling stories of his kids or Boden explaining the life of little Terrance and now she is a parent as well, telling her own stories of her little one. Her heart swells with pride every single time she is able to share a story of Louie's progress.
The night wares on and it's almost two in the morning when Matt and Gabby finally make it home to their quiet house. Both have had a little much to drink and are thankful for taking a taxi to the bar that night and not driving. Matt locks the door and Gabby heads straight to the kitchen and pulls the mint chocolate chip out of the freezer and jumps onto the counter with a spoon in hand and Matt is following close behind as he comes to rest in between her legs as they silently share bites of the desert.
Matt chuckles, breaking the silence that had settled between them. "We use to end a lot of nights at Molly's like this."
Gabby nods and smiles fondly, "Yeah, we did. It's been awhile since the last time we did this." She trails off and its silent for a moment as she thinks. She stares at Matt's half awake form as he rests in between her legs and pops the lid back on the ice cream. "Come on baby, let's head to bed."
Matt nods and puts up no argument as they climb the stairs and Gabby can only laugh. It's been an exhausting week for both of them, she can't blame him for his tiredness. Her thoughts will have to wait for another day.
They head to bed, and Matt is passed out right away after a kiss goodnight, but Gabby lays awake much longer sorting through the thoughts in her head.
It's nearly four in the morning when she finally gets out of bed and heads downstairs.
Matt comes down in search of her forty-five minutes later and is surprised to see her sitting on the couch in silence.
"Baby? What are you doing up?" He questions, his voice thick with sleep. He rounds the couch and watches her wipe at her eyes quickly. "Hey, what's wrong?" He questions, coming to sit beside her.
"Nothing, I'm fine. Did I wake you?" She questions, trying to change the subject.
"Babe, you were crying..."
She takes a deep breath and smiles weakly. "I just... I was just thinking about how much, I love you..." She says softly and Casey stares at her for a moment, not sure what to do with her words, or why it would be making her cry.
"Gabs..."
"Do you want to get married?" She finally blurts out and he's taken back as he stares at her, not at all expecting those words to come out of her mouth.
He finally finds words, "You can't... You can't propose to me... I was, I was going to propose to you..." He stutters and Gabby smiles softly, leaning across the couch to press her lips to his and quiet his rambling.
"Is that a yes?" She asks softly, a soft teasing tone to her voice.
He smiles gently, only his girl can beat him to the proposal he'd been planning for weeks now... "Yes, God yes, baby." He whispers pulling her to him and kissing her deeply. "Gabby I've wanted to marry you for years now, there is nothing else I could want more."
It's only six months later that they are officially tieing the knot.
For you, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
For you, oh-oh oh-oh
For you, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
2 Years
"Louie! Come on buddy, we gotta go!" Gabby hollers up the steps and Matt smirks as he walks up to her as she races around the kitchen.
"Gabby, baby, relax. He is going to be fine." He reassures and she sighs as she relaxes into the arms that he has wrapped around her and rests her head on his shoulder.
"I know, I just, I'm not ready to let my baby go." She says softly.
Today was Louie's first day of kindergarten and to say Gabby was having an anxiety attack would be an understatement, Matt had pre-warned Boden that he would be late for shift today, knowing that Gabby would need him this morning.
"I know, baby, but he is a big boy now."
She pouts her bottom lip and replies with a whine, "But he is still my baby..."
He runs his hand along her stomach soothingly and chuckles at her behavior. "Are you sure you don't just want me to take him, might be easier on you?" Matt questions and instantly regrets it from the death glare he receives.
"I am not missing his first day, Matthew Casey." She warns as she turns to point an accusing finger at him.
He puts his hands up in surrender and can't help the smile on his lips. "It was just a suggestion, Gabriella Casey." She smiles softly and he knows he has won her back over with the use of her full name. Her moods were a bit unpredictable lately, though he couldn't blame her with being 6 months pregnant and all.
He looks at the time and sighs before calling up the stairs once again. "Louie, let's go, you're going to be late for your first day!"
The boy comes racing down the stairs moments later and Matt smirks as he watches Gabby wipe tears out of her eyes and curse her hormones once again though both of them know she would probably have the same reaction about her baby boy starting school whether she was pregnant or not.
They walk into the classroom and Gabby helps Louie set his bag in his cubby and she smiles brightly as she runs her hand over his name tag. Louie Casey. When they say their good-byes Matt knows that Gabby is holding back tears and he is well aware that the water works are going to hit once they get to the parking lot. They are walking to the door when Louie calls out to them.
"Mom!" Gabby turns around instantly and Louie is racing to her and hugging her tightly. "I love you, Mommy."
Gabby holds him as close as her pregnant belly will allow. "I love you too, baby."
It isn't until a couple hugs and 'I love you's' later that Matt and Gabby finally leave the school and he pulls her close and hugs her tightly before they get into the vehicle.
"You okay?" He questions and she nods against his chest.
"I'm so proud of him." She tells him quietly. "He has faced so much to get here."
Matt smiles as he pulls away from her. "It's all because of you Gabby... You believed in him and fought for him when no one else would and I love you so much for that, for bringing him into our lives even before I realized how much I wanted it. You are an amazing mom, Gabriella."
"And you are an amazing dad, Matthew Casey." She whispers, her voice thick with tears.
When they pick him up later that day they watch as his eyes light up when he see's his Dad step out of the fire truck and Gabby follow close behind him as she steps out of the ambo and Louie races towards them.
"Do I get to ride in the fire truck, Dad!?"
"Of course, buddy!" Matt picks him up and Gabby rubs her hand along his back. "Can I ride with Dad, Momma?" He asks hopeful and Gabby nods.
"Sure thing, baby." She smiles brightly and Louie reaches over so she can pull him into her arms and she holds him close.
She's not sure what she ever did to deserve this life, but she is so thankful to have it.
Never doubt the power of goodness in one's heart, or for a single second that together we make an incredible family, and you will be loved. Always.
And we'll rise up
High like the waves
We'll rise up
In spite of the ache
We'll rise up
And we'll do it a thousand times again
For you, oh oh-oh oh oh
For you, oh-oh-oh-oh
For you, oh oh-oh oh oh