A/N: This story literally was just spewed out via paper and pen in just a short while. I'd been working on updating my day's events for my trip log, then my Simone muse kind of just yanked on my brainstem and insisted that we start writing. I had no idea where it was going to go, and I actually thought it was my Veronica muse at first [who knew they'd sound so similar in my head for a brief moment], but I let Simone take the reins. I'm very glad that I did. This is a lovely piece that gets into her mind again. I love that kind of story.
Dedication: Glen Mazzara, for creating the characters; Megalyn Echikunwoke, for bringing the character to life; and my muses, for always keeping me on my toes.
Spoilers: Set nebulously in the events of episodes 01x08 "Here Is Wisdom" and 01x09 "The Devil You Know", but before episode 01x10 "Ave Satani" happens.
Please see profile for Disclaimers.
There's a strange sort of symmetry that's happening here. I'm not sure who to believe anymore. It should be Damien, right? I know him, but…
No, I don't really know him, do I? I barely met him before my sister died, thrusting me into this insane world of religion and the Antichrist.
I- Sometimes it feels like these past few weeks since Kelly died have been one huge blur of a nightmare I can't shake.
I don't like feeling this out of control. I never have. It's like… like no one believes I'm capable of being a rational, intelligent adult living my own life.
Why can't I just go back and save Kelly? Maybe if she were alive, I could have more control of the things and situations happening around me?
But apparently that's not God's will. No, God would rather take her away and leave us floundering: Damien and me.
I don't know how to handle all of this. Kelly helped me figure shit out in the past. Mom couldn't always understand. She wanted to equate everything to her life before America. But it didn't always work, you know? And it's not like I could just tell her that. Even as a child, I knew to let her explain it her way, knowing that Kelly could make it more relatable.
Now Kelly's dead, her stuff is gone, and Mom has retreated into her world of Voodoo and Yoruba priests.
On the other hand, I'm getting visions of bleeding statues, and nuns following me, and my sister's ex-boyfriend possibly being the Antichrist.
I think I want to believe him. Damien, I mean. I don't know what it is, but I feel oddly safe around him. If all of this Antichrist shit is true, I should be terrified of him.
Shouldn't I?