Happy V-Day everyone! If you're like me, then you spent the day at school watching all the couples and being left to stew in your singleness with a crapton of work. XP Ah well, that's all over and done with now. Have some AkuRoku loving! I own none of the characters, only this plot. boyxboy love ahead. You have been warned.
Day XX (Pre Xion)
Dear diary,
Axel's been away on a mission for a while. I'm not sure what to do without him around. Eating ice cream on the tower by myself just doesn't seem right without him there. I know that, as a Nobody, I can't feel any emotions but…I don't know. My chest just feels heavy without him but it's more than that.
I asked Demyx about it but he didn't know. So I asked Vexen but he told me to go away and not bother him with "pointless babble". That's what he called my question. So I went and found Marluxia in the garden and asked him. He told me to help pull weeds while he thought.
After finding out that weeds aren't the brightly colored petal things and nearly getting a haircut with his scythe, he asked me what I thought about Axel getting hurt. My stomach twisted up at that. I imagined what Axel would look like after a rough battle, combined with how Xemnas had described a Nobody's death to us: Axel bleeding, not breathing, eyes closed, and slowly dissolving into nothingness. My chest hurt, like I had been struck with an ice spell.
When I told Marluxia this, he went back to watering some of his "flowers" for a minute or so before turning to me. "You miss Axel," he said but I didn't understand what that meant. Did it mean that Axel was back and I had missed him coming into the castle before leaving again?
Marluxia just smiled at me when I asked him about that and told me it was a different kind of "missed". He said that this one meant "a lack of something or feeling/suffering from the lack of".
I still didn't understand. I asked him about what Xemnas said about us not being able to feel and he frowned. Marluxia doesn't talk about the Superior that much and always gets that little line between his eyebrows whenever Xemnas is mentioned.
Instead of confirming what I'd asked, XI's face just smoothed out and he smiled again. "Of course you can feel Roxas. We all feel, even without our hearts. The feeling just has to be strong enough."
I told him how Axel and I are friends and that I don't feel heavy around him. He asked me what my chest felt like when Axel was close by and I told him warm. That, when he smiled or brushed against me, my stomach felt fluttery, and when he smiled, I wanted to smile too.
Marluxia mouth twitched upward again and ushered me out of his garden before I could ask anymore. Before I left though, he told me to tell Axel how I felt when he was around the next time I saw him.
I wonder what Axel will think when I tell him that Nobodies can feel even without hearts.
Oh, someone's knocking on my door. I should probably answer it in case it's something important. Guess that's all for today anyway.
Roxas closed his diary carefully before laying it flat on his desk and pushed himself away before standing and padded softly over to his door with a soft, "Coming."
Opening the wood in front of him, blue eyes widened as they took in the sight before him. There was a large mass of color right in front of the youngest Nobody; bright blues, reds, oranges, and yellows connected to vivid green stems and suddenly Roxas realized what these colors made up. They were flowers, like the ones in Marluxia's garden, except these seemed brighter.
A soft cough drew his eyes up from the vibrant collage and Roxas found himself staring in eyes the exact shade as the flower stems framed by wild red hair. A mouth twisted upward into a grin revealing straight white teeth, if a little more pointed then the other Nobodies.
"Hey," Axel said, his voice seeming softer than normal but still full of its usual warm.
"Hi," Roxas replied, unsure of what to say. Axel was here. He was back. The heavy feeling seemed to have floated off like a heart released from the shadowy confines of a Heartless.
Tilting his head quizzically, the younger of the two glanced back down at the bouquet in front of him and asked quietly, "What're the flowers for?"
A soft chuckle was his answer followed by a teasing, "Not even going to invite me in first?"
Abashed at this sudden realization, Roxas invited Axel in and quickly stepped aside. As the taller man brushed by, the younger smelled the perfume of the flowers as well as a scent distinctly belonging to the redhead. Roxas decided then that, if he could feel and therefore like, then he liked the older male's smell.
Axel placed the brightly colored bouquet on the blonde's desk before stretching out comfortably onto his friend's bed. After closing the door, Roxas joined him, perching on one of the mattress's corners.
Roxas waited a few minutes for Axel to answer his question, but the man seemed content to stay leaning backward until he was laying half on the bed with his legs resting on the floor and upper half facing the ceiling.
Softly, Roxas questioned again, "What're the flowers for?"
The redhead smiled again and turned his gaze from the white plaster to fix upon Roxas. Suddenly, the teenager found that he couldn't blink, as if the other had managed to immobilize him with just his eyes.
Green bored into blue and, before he could help himself, the blond quickly blurted out, "I learned that we can feel today."
A red eyebrow was raised and Roxas quickly added, "As Nobodies I mean. I was talking to Marluxia," a small frown flitted onto Axel's face before it quickly smoothed again, "and he said that we can feel even though we don't have hearts. The feeling just has to be really strong."
The redhead's gloved hand stroked against his own chin. He appeared to be thinking so the teen went quiet, waiting for a reply.
"So, you've been hanging out with Marley while I've been gone? You guys…friends now?"
The way Axel said those words made Roxas frown. "No. You're my only friend Axel. I just needed to ask him something."
Another smile graced the man's face before his eyes closed and dropped his hand carelessly down to the bed. Suddenly the blond found that he could move again. "So, what'd you need to ask him huh?"
"Oh, well…" Why was it suddenly so difficult to speak? Roxas didn't understand it. And his stomach began to feel all fluttery again. "We-we were talking about you."
Green eyes opened again and looked upon the blond, silently asking him to continue.
"Um yeah. Because my chest was feeling really heavy and that only ever happens when you're not around me. So I asked Demyx and Vexen what that meant but Demyx didn't know and Vexen didn't care so I asked Marluxia. And he asked what I thought about you being hurt and my body felt like it had just been spelled but not in the heal way. In the painful way, like when the magic Heartless gang up on me."
The redhead began stroking his chin again as Roxas continued to speak.
"He said that that meant that I missed you but not in the 'I missed you because you just left', but because I was 'lacking you'. What does that mean Axel?"
Pushing himself up suddenly into a sitting, the redhead leaned over the blond as Roxas looked up at him.
"What else did you talk about Roxas?" The gravely way the words were spoken made the boy shiver even though the room wasn't cold. He continued,
"I told him t-that we're friends and that my chest feels warm when you're with me and that whenever you smile or touch me I wanna smile too and my stomach feels all fluttery. And he told me to tell you that but I guess I just did."
A thoughtful "Hmm," rumbled from Axel's throat though his eyes were still locked onto Roxas's. "And, what do you feel now?"
"Warm. And fluttery. Why am I feeling something Axel? And why is it only for you? Does everyone feel this way around you? Why do I like it? Do you feel it around me? Why don't-?"
A pair of chapped lips pressed against the blonde's own, cutting him off mid-question. They were firm and moved against the other's own. Roxas didn't know what to do. Slowly, he moved his lips back in replication.
Quite suddenly, Axel pulled away and Roxas's eyes fluttered open, though for the none-life of him, he couldn't remember closing them. Staring up into green, the boy asked softly, "What…was that? Why did you…?" There was only curiosity behind his words.
A chuckle, just as soft whispered through the quiet room and Axel pressed his forehead against his younger partner's. "Maybe because you make me feel too? Because you also make me feel warm and fluttery and heavy and worried and happy and confused and everything else that only Somebodys are supposed to feel? That was a kiss Roxas. People that care about each other a lot kiss each other to show that they care."
A switch seemed to flick on in the blonde's head and he smiled. "That makes me feel warmer, hearing that. I feel…happy right? Yeah, I'm happy."
Tilting his head again, Roxas kissed his friend and felt their hands lace together and he closed his eyes. Squeezing Axel's hand and receiving a squeeze back, he couldn't help himself but continue to smile.
Day XX continued
Dear diary,
I found out that Axel feels towards me too. He proved it to me by giving me kisses. I like them.
He's sleeping next to me right now. We kissed for a while then lay down and he told me about his mission while hugging me. Everything about him is really warm. I think I must have dozed off but now I'm awake and writing.
I'm very happy right now. So happy that water is coming out of my eyes. Demyx calls it "tears" which come out of your eyes when you're really happy or really sad. And since I'm feeling warm it must mean that I'm really happy.
I also found out that the flowers he brought were a sort of apology for taking so long on his mission. He said that people who cared about each other give each other gifts like that. I wonder what I should get him. Maybe a scarf. It gets cold on missions, especially to Christmas Town and parts of The Land of Dragons.
Well, I'm feeling tired now so I think that's all the writing for today. I saw a shooting star a few days ago. I wonder if I can still wish on it. If so, I wish that Axel and I can be like this for the rest of our time. And that we can have more time to hug and kiss and hold hands and eat ice cream. I wish these times would never end.
Special shout-out to my sis who edited this! Love you! ^^ Constructive criticism/reviews are always welcome. Thanks for reading and happy V-day! :)
loveboylove