A Forgotten Child

By: Snape-Sistas

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sadly these wonderful characters and settings are not ours.

Warnings: Child abuse, violence, strong language and AU. These warning are in effect for the course of the entire story.

Author's Note: We are basing this story very, we repeat, very loosely on Severus's memories from the books OOTP and DH. We have tweaked it greatly and changed some things, though. This story is an attempt to explain why Snape was the way he was. This is an AU story and will not follow canon too closely. We will be mostly writing it through a child's eyes. It will mostly see things how a six year old would see them as well as use childlike logic and emotions. Also, the rating may possibly go up in future chapters.

Severus Snape knelt in the dark room in Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. The room was dusty, unused. The owner of that room, Sirius Black, had long since died. But that was not the reason Severus was there. He could care less if that pompous, arrogant fool was dead. No, it was something else that called him to that dreadful place, to that room. It was something far more significant. It was something that he had lived without for most of his life. It was love. Tears ran from his dark eyes and dripped down his hooked nose as he read the old, yellowed letter.

…could ever have been friends with Gellert Grindelwald. I think her mind's going, personally!

Lots of love,

Lily

Lily. He sighed miserably as a sob caught in his throat. However, though the sorrow of her passing still weighed heavily upon him, his thin lips twitched in a slight smile as he thought of the little red haired girl who had showed him kindness and love. The little happiness he had experienced in his life, he owed it to her. Though as painful as it was, he thought of her, as he had done everyday since they had met…

The little dark haired boy rolled over in his bed. It took only a moment for his mind, fuzzy with sleep, to realize what had caused him to wake. He had heard shouting. Father was very, very angry. Again. He was screaming at Mother. Again. Severus wondered what they were fighting about this time, not that it really mattered. Father could find anything to get angry about.

"Where's the bloody money?" Father roared, making no effort to keep his voice down despite the fact that it was very late and his six-year-old son was sleeping in a small bedroom down the hall.

Severus could hear Mother's soft reply.

"Keep your voice down. Please Tobias," she whispered, almost pleading with her husband, "You'll wake Severus."

"I don't give a damn, woman!" Tobias Snape roared angrily, "Let him see what a useless, lazy trollop he has for a mother!"

Eileen's face flushed heatedly as though she had been struck. She narrowed her dark eyes at Tobias.

"Don't judge me, Tobias," She hissed back at him, "He feels enough disappointment with you! Lazy, drunk, bastard of a father…"

That was all she managed to say before Tobias staggered over to her and dealt her a sound clout across the face. Severus was certain that he heard her teeth rattle in her head.

"Do you think I asked for any of this?" Father screeched, "Do you think I wanted to marry into magic? No, I did the honorable thing and married you in your… condition…just to save you and your family from disgrace! I take responsibility for my mistakes!"

"How dare you call our son a mistake!" Mother was shouting now too.

Severus sat up in bed. He couldn't breathe. It felt as though a hippogriff was sitting on his chest. Nevertheless, he was used to it. It had been like this since he could remember and he always got the suffocating feeling when Mother and Father had their loud, terrible fights. He couldn't take another moment of it. It was almost too much to bear. But not one tear fell on his thin, sallow cheeks. Crying was for babies. He had just turned six years old after all and he went to school. He was a big boy now and big boys were brave. He jumped out of bed and hurriedly changed into the clothes that he had thrown on his bedroom floor hours before when he had gotten ready for bed. It didn't matter to him that he had worn them earlier that day and had made "mud potions" in them late in the afternoon. All that mattered now was getting away from it all while he still could.

He pulled on his oversized overcoat that had once been Father's and softly crept to his bedroom door. The light from the kitchen shone down hall. Severus took in a sharp breath. It was suddenly very, very quiet. Quiet was dangerous at Spinner's End. It meant that Father was especially irate. The silence rang in his ears. It was deafening, almost like the roar of a river. Panic hit him squarely in the chest. The lump in his throat was nearly suffocating him.

Suddenly, without warning, the silence was interrupted by Mother's cries and the sound of rustling in the kitchen. He could hear the chairs around the kitchen table fall with a loud clatter. As he tip toed down the hall and peered into the kitchen he saw that his father had his mother pinned to the floor. He was screaming insults at her and Severus had no idea what many of them meant. Father grabbed Mother's face roughly and squeezed it in his hand to make her look at him. He spat at her and began to choke her with the other hand. Mother made an awful, dry wheeze. Her face became bright red and she struggled for air. Severus could feel his knees shaking. He could feel every beat of his fluttering heart. He was frightened. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to help Mother but he was too afraid. Father would kill him too. He knew the end was coming as Mother's bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets and rested on him. She grabbed and scratched frantically at Father's face and neck, causing him to bleed. Mother seemed to gather her strength and brought her knee up and kicked Father in the groin with it. Father howled in pain and fell over, away from Mother. Mother lay panting on the floor with her eyes closed.

Severus took the opportunity and bolted out the door without looking back. Once he was out in the cool early autumn night, he was able to find his breath again. He wondered when he went home if he would find one or both of them dead. He pushed that thought out of his mind as he slowly walked down the street toward the playground. A light breeze caused fiery red and bright orange leaves to blow around him. He giggled as the leaves seemed to magically dance with him as he made his way into the night, away from home.

He went to his special hiding place. It was near the swings in the park. The small clump of bushes always provided him with a safe haven, shielding him from the misery of Spinner's End. He settled down, making sure to tuck the frayed ends of the large overcoat under him so he could keep warm. Absentmindedly, he brought his thumb up to his mouth. He blushed. He knew thumb sucking was for babies but sometimes he had to do it because it made him feel better and at that moment he didn't think he could feel any worse. He needed it right now. With his thumb still in his mouth, Severus looked out into the dark playground. Though it was the wee hours of the morning, dawn would be long in coming, especially for a sad little boy who was finding no comfort alone in the park.

TBC??

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