Author's Notes: Many thanks to abluegirl and forsillyfools for their patience and for helping me whip this thing into shape . The title is from the lyrics to "Turn to the Sky" by the March Violets. While this story is based on John Hughes' "Some Kind of Wonderful" you don't need to watch it to understand this fic (although I hope you do, because it's a fantastic movie!)
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended; fair use only. Not created for profit.
Tina figures it out around the time Artie picks her up for school.
First of all, his usual van looks kind of strange—it is old fashioned, and yet shiny and new all at the same time. Second, there was her hair. Her awful, awful permed hair that took an extra half hour to re-straighten this morning. Third, she's pretty sure she got ready this morning to a montage. And disturbingly, she's convinced there was montage music playing during her morning routine. Like, around. Not on the radio, not in her head. Just…around.
She doesn't notice at first that the clothes in her closet are different. Here were her black tulle skirts, her boots and dark shirts. But when she went to reach for a top, she came back with a t-shirt she never remembered buying.
Who the hell are Siouxsie and the Banshees?
Artie figures it out the second after he puts his older model Chevy handicap van in park at the school. Tina has been silent for the entire ride, giving him time to think about how his parents and brother have taken off in the middle of the night, going on vacation without him. His usual morning routine took less time than usual, thanks to what he's pretty sure is some kind of clever editing, and a Devo soundtrack. In his house.
Devo, he says to himself in disbelief.
Bringing it up in conversation is awkward.
Like, "I think I may be hearing voices"-awkward. Like, "Please don't institutionalize me after this"-awkward.
"I still have the use of my penis"-awkward.
He brings it up first after a group of guys who look like they got rejected from the set of Miami Vice walk past the car.
"Tina? You're gonna think I'm crazy but you're not going to believe this."
It turns out that they both have the same idea about what might be going on. Still, that's not very comforting. In the best scenario, they're both right. In the worst scenario it's folie à deux. Neither choice is really appealing.
They sit in silence in his car before class starts, staring out windows in disbelief and sort of avoiding the subject.
Neither of them are really freaking out to their surprise. It's quite like being in a dream. In a dream no one really asks why they're accepting their diplomas naked, or why they're at the helm of a spacecraft. They just are.
"So, what kind of movie are we in, do you think?" Tina asks, her voice eerily calm.
"What kind of 80s movies are there?" Artie asks hesitantly, thrumming his fingers nervously against the steering wheel.
"Well…slasher movies, for one," Tina answers, raising an eyebrow.
"Tina, remind me never to let you pick movies for movie night again," Artie sighs.
"Did you sleep okay last night?" Tina asks, concern creeping into her voice.
"…yeah. Why?"
"You didn't dream about weird stuff, like people coming after you with claws?" she asks, worriedly.
"…no. Are you trying to say we might be in a Nightmare on Elm Street?" Artie exclaims, immediately thinking of drinking coffee, taking caffeine pills - anything to keep from falling asleep.
"Not if you're not having bad dreams."
Artie lets out a breath of relief.
"I have an idea," he ventures after a pause.
"What?"
"Well, our parents are conspicuously absent, and we still go to high school. I think we're in a teen movie. You know, like Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Or—or the one where the kids from differing social groups come together at the end and learn A Very Special Lesson."
"I think I'd rather be in Teen Witch."
"Have you noticed any magical powers lately?" Artie laughs. Shaking his head he then adds, "I can't believe I'm asking these questions."
"No," Tina answers, disappointed. She really wanted those magical powers, too. And Artie getting into rap battles, like the awkward kid from the movie? Cute. "And I think I'm a baker or something."
"A baker," he repeats, watching as a group of girls with big hair greets the group of Miami Vice boys.
"Yeah, my backpack had some flour on it and then I found this," Tina explains pulling an apron emblazoned with "C.C. Bakery" out of her bag. "Maybe it's an after school job?"
"Huh," Artie says thoughtfully as the warning bell rings. He pulls out a copy of his class schedule and says, "I guess we have to go to class now."
"I don't think we should be required to go considering we're not even born yet," Tina mumbles grumpily.
They settle in as best they can. They go to class, go home to empty houses, and pretend to get the pop culture references their classmates make. They try not to mention mp3s, iPods, cell phones or the internet. They sometimes hear music playing and it usually matches whatever they're feeling at the time-sad, angry, happy. They try to figure out a way to get "home" but don't come up with anything good.
They go to the library where Artie exasperatedly asks the librarian to "just google it, already!" to which the librarian looked at him strangely and asked, "You want me to do what, young man?"
Tina is partnered up with a jock in science lab and she blurts out something about downloading information. He looks at her strangely before branding her a "space cadet" and going back to drawing boobs on desks with his friends.
Tina was into the research at first, asking around if there are any occult type stores in the area but all that got her were some weird looks and a reputation for being odd.
Surprisingly, Tina does know how to bake. She churns out cakes, cupcakes, bread, and other pastries with ease and somehow manages to keep her bakery afloat despite working in it only after school and on weekends.
Artie finds a guitar in his room and begins playing again. At school he joins jazz band and chess club and AV club, and it's not all too different from his life at McKinley.
The first time she sees him her hands are covered in flour and she's pretty sure she has ganache smeared all over her apron. After the initial shock, she thinks it's a little weird, actually. Kind of like seeing a teacher outside of class, away from the chalkboard and the desk they sit at every day. She's not used to seeing him not surrounded by his posse of insufferable Cheerios and jocks at McKinley. It takes her brain a second to catch up with reality.
Mike Chang is wearing his red and white letterman's jacket, his hands shoved awkwardly into his jeans and is examining the display of gourmet cupcakes.
"M-Mike?" she stammers, her voice timid. She smoothes out the wrinkles in her skirt awkwardly, not quite believing it's really him.
He looks up, his eyes wide in surprise. "Tina?"
She nods, shocked. She thought only she and Artie were drawn into this weird neon-colored universe. They run towards one another only to stop awkwardly a few feet apart. She doesn't know if a hug would be appropriate considering they barely speak to each other.
"I—I didn't know other people were here," Mikes says, then blushes. "Um, I didn't know you worked here."
Tina smiles, and watches as Mike face crinkles up in confusion. "Don't worry," she says. "I don't think you're crazy. Artie and I figured it out. We're in a movie, or something."
To her surprise, Mike laughs. "Artie's here too? I mean the other day Matt told me he was in Pirates of the Caribbean or something and I was like, 'dude, I think the spider got to your brain too.'"
"But here you are," Tina says hopefully. "You're not...weirded out or anything?"
"Not really. I got here yesterday afternoon and went to football practice like usual. Only I didn't know anyone and during warm ups I started hearing that music from Rocky-"
"Eye of the Tiger?"
"Yeah! And that's when I knew. Anyway, Matt came back eventually, so I wouldn't be too worried."
Tina nods, but remains unconvinced.
"I really wanted an action movie though," Mike says with a wistful tone.
Tina looks away awkwardly. "So you bake, huh?"Mike continues, changing the subject.
She shrugs casually. "It's my parents' place, I think. Anyways, I'm glad you're here, Mike."
Mike grins.
"And the chocolate lavender cupcakes are really good," Tina says.
He nods and studies her face for a second. The attention makes her uncomfortable, and she looks away nervously. In a sudden move, he reaches forward and gently swipes her nose with his index finger. The contact makes her flush bright pink. She blinks in confusion.
"You, uh—had some chocolate—"
"Oh! Um—here—"she stammers handing him a stack of napkins, and looking anywhere but at him.
"Thanks," he answers.
Just before she can process what's happened, the shop door chimes and in walks a red haired chick Tina recognizes from school.
"God, parking is such a bitch in this part of town!" she exclaims, whipping off her designer sunglasses and dangling her keys. She is dressed in a yellow sundress that clings to her curves and shows off her long, tan legs. It probably costs more than anything Tina owns.
Covered in food and kind of sweaty, Tina's never felt more like a dumpy, squat Keebler elf.
"Mike, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" she says sweetly even as she eyes Tina with barely concealed disdain.
"Anne, this is Tina. From school?" Mike answers with apprehension.
"Oh, right," Anne answers, already bored. She slips her hand possessively into Mike's and surveys her surroundings. Not seeing anything of interest to her, she turns to Tina again, regarding her with fierce hazel eyes. "Sorry. I didn't recognize you under all of that..."
"It's ganache," Tina answers.
"Right. Anyways, I should've because of your, um, unique hair. No offense," she says cheerfully even as Mike not so subtly elbows her in the side.
Tina wraps a strand of blue hair around her finger and self-consciously shifts on her feet. "It's okay," she murmurs. "So uh, can I get you anything?"
"My order should be under Jenns. My mom ordered her birthday cake from here since it's cheaper than our usual place on 6th," Anne says smiling like a snake. "Oh and can you make it quick? We have reservations at L'Etoile for 6." As she pulls up the "Jenns" file in the paperwork, Tina briefly wonders what Anne would look like with a face smeared with buttercream.
"I remember now. The one with white-chocolate filling. It's all ready to go, just give me minute," Tina says before she heads to the back. When she returns with the box of cake (wrapped up in a fancy purple bow just to show that skank her place isn't lowbrow) she finds Mike and Anne caught up in an embrace. His hand is tangled in her hair and Anne giggles as she leans into the kiss.
Tina coughs delicately.
The couple breaks apart, Mike looking away sheepishly and Anne smirking. After she pays for her cake, Tina watches as they both walk out the door (he holds it for her of course) and allows herself the indulgence of feeling confused and a little jealous. Then she shakes herself out of it and reminds herself that there is inventory to be done.
"Almost as exciting as reservations at L'Etoile," she murmurs to herself.
Just as she's about to break out the forms and paperwork, the door chimes again. Mike hurries in smiling and looking a little breathless.
"Changed my mind about the cupcake," he explains simply.
Tina beams at him. "It's pretty amazing, if I do say so myself," she says proudly while taking the chocolate confection out of the case. "I just tweaked an old recipe of my mom's." She carefully places the cupcake in a little box.
"How much?" Mike asks, reaching for his wallet.
"It's on the house," she says before she can stop herself.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. You just have to promise that if you like it you'll tell people to stop by."
"It's a deal, Tina," he says.
She finds herself staring at him, and not for the first time she muses to herself that he's really cute.
She ducks her head out of habit when she catches herself and scrapes a black glittery nail against the plastic countertop.
"Did you want another one? I mean, for your girlfr—um, Anne? I see you made friends here, already," Tina jokes.
"It's weird," he agrees. "But she's pretty nice. And no thanks on the cupcake for her. She doesn't eat sugar or anything white, some sort of crazy diet thing," Mike explains fiddling with the small box.
Tina scoffs. "Well, then I hope she enjoys the escargot tonight."
Mike laughs and Tina looks up in surprise. She'd thought taking a cheap shot at the popular guy's girlfriend would earn her a rebuke but apparently she'd said something to make him laugh.
Tina looks up into his friendly face, at the crinkles around his eyes when he smiles and finds herself smiling back.
A honking car horn and the sight of Anne glowering at them through the car window break them out of their reverie.
That night when she closes the store, she reflects on her day. It is definitely strange that Mike is here, too. It looks like it's just the three of them so far, and Mike said Matt came home eventually. The problem is Tina doesn't know just how long 'eventually' is going to take. She takes the skin on her arm between her thumb and forefinger and pinches hard like she's done dozens of times since she got here.
Nothing.
She sighs, and turns on the neon "CLOSED" sign.
The night air is warm and it must have rained while she was doing inventory because the pavement is wet, gleaming in the light from the street lamps as she walks to the bus stop. Tina hates to admit it, but Anne was kind of right about one thing. Her bakery is located in a strip mall in a run-down section of town. It's virtually empty at this time of night but Tina still clutches her messenger bag and pepper spray close as she walks briskly to her bus stop.
Her bus ride is uneventful and when she disembarks she takes off in a different direction from her house. She walks the three blocks down Franklin Avenue and crosses the train tracks to find herself in a backyard. She approaches one window in particular and when she sees that the lights are on and hears the awkward strumming of the opening chords to a Pixies song, she smiles to herself.
Biting her lip in an effort not to giggle, she gently taps the window.
A voice comes from inside. "It's open!"
In a practiced movement, Tina hits the bottom of the window once with the palm of her hand and while lifting the window up.
She climbs inside and looks at her friend affectionately. Artie is sitting in his chair in the middle of the room, playing the guitar while the TV blares behind him.
"Hey," Artie says, carefully putting his guitar away. "I thought you were coming by earlier."
"I got um—sidetracked. So inventory kept me later than I thought," she answers taking off her bag and making herself comfortable on the bed. She stretches and happily sighs, smiling up at the ceiling.
She feels the bed dip beside her, and she watches as Artie lifts himself out of his chair and onto the bed. He laces his hand together behind his head and as she curls up along his side, she presses her cheek against his suspenders and dress shirt.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," Tina starts. "The good news is that Mike Chang is here-"
"Mike Chang? How did he get here? Does he know how to get home—"
"The same way we did, I'm guessing and no, looks like he doesn't," answers Tina. "It's nice though, having someone else here, isn't it?" she turns to ask him. "I mean, so we know we're not crazy. The good news is that he said Matt was in some sort of Pirates of the Caribbean thing and he came home eventually."
"I guess," Artie says. "Although I'd much prefer it if it was someone who knew how to get us back. And the word 'eventually' is disturbingly vague."
"I know," Tina sighs. "That's what I thought too. That's the bad news. Mike is really nice though, surprisingly," Tina says, unable to disguise the wistfulness in her tone.
A little startled, Artie pulls himself up to a sitting position next to her, his eyes incredulous as they stare into hers.
"Mike? Seriously?"
"Yeah. I mean, he's pretty nice for a jock," Tina says, looking down at her hands.
"None of those jocks are nice, Tina," Artie shakes his head. "They might be in glee, but they wouldn't give us the time of day outside of it."
Tina shrugs. "Mike is. Outside of school, anyway. He's a really cool guy, Artie," Tina says, the tiniest of smiles on her face. Artie frowns.
"Tell me again why you're in formal wear on a weekend?" she teases, wanting to change the subject.
"You know you love my GQ wear, woman," he states. She laughs and pokes his side.
They lie together for a minute and watch the movie on Artie's small TV silently.
"Alien, really?" Tina asks as some poor soul sticks his entire face into an alien egg.
"It was already on! You have no idea how hard it is to find a movie I liked that's been released before the 80s," Artie protests. "Did you know Burt Reynolds used to be even hairier?"
"Hmm," she responds, going back to watching the movie.
"Why are you in such a good mood?"
Tina turns to him, her mouth quirked up in a grin. "What makes you say that?"
Artie turns to Tina, one eyebrow arched. "Well, first of all you usually complain much more about my movie selection and second of all, you practically floated in here and started flitting about like a Disney cartoon bird."
"I did not!" Tina protests, blushing.
Artie laughs uncomfortably but lets it go. They settle in to watch the movie again, but Tina cannot focus on it. She is deep in thought about something else entirely.