Title: Innocence

Author: Boonadducious (Ashley)

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: B/G implied (I tried not to include a ship, but I couldn't help myself)

Spoilers: The Body

Warnings: Some bad words and some major mother-son angst.

Summary: Giles thinks back to the worst moment of his life.

A/N: This is my first Buffyverse story…ever. It was the product of lying sick in bed for two days and plotting out another fiction based around Giles. I was un-betaed, so any mistakes are mine. If any British readers find my characterizations of their home country incorrect, please tell me and I'll make the appropriate changes. I kept the spelling American so Microsoft Word didn't yell at me.

oOoOo

Rupert could not stop grumbling to himself as he walked home. The air was starting to get colder now that the sun had gone away. Soon, it would be cold like this even with the sun, and his favorite coat had been pilfered by those pillocks.

"I would have taken them," he growled, angry at his still immature voice. The cold caused the scrapes on his knees to sting and the cut on his lip to bleed again. "If I could just get a bloody growth spurt already."

It was only when he got within a kilometer of his home that the realization of what his father would do to him came upon his mind. There was no way he would be able to ignore the massive black eye on his face, nor the redness on his knuckles that indicated multiple punches. However, he quickly quashed those fears by turning his attention back to the fight that had been.

"That bastard would have been begging for mercy…i-if he hadn't brought friends…"

Bugger. They always had friends. That was a luxury he would never have, and therefore would put him at a disadvantage.

"I'll have to get Anna to teach me how to take on groups," he said to himself, hugging himself tighter now. He shuddered to think what his father would think if he found out Anna had been passing on his fighting techniques to his young son. He had said Anna was a "potential Slayer" – whatever that was – and these lessons were not for him. Of course, this did not stop the headstrong teenager from passing on some pointers to the curious child.

Rupert smiled once he remembered that his father had told him he would be late at work with Grandmother tonight, and Anna would be his babysitter. She would help him find ways to cover his wounds. She always was going out late at night without Father's knowledge and coming back with mysterious scrapes and bruises. She afterwards went to her vanity and emerged having covered the injuries either with make-up or expertly placed clothing before going back to the basement where she slept. He knew that a few threats of a slippery tongue would motivate her to…

Rupert's mouth went dry when he reached the generous flat he called home. The door was open and light was flooding through. He could also see a single shadow making near frantic movements. All his previous thoughts disappeared when his father's near constant lessons about "household precautions" came to him. Number one was to never let strangers in. Number two was if something was amiss, have a cross and stake at the ready. Rupert immediately sifted through his messenger bag and pulled out the large wooden cross Father had given him. The stake he had carried was used to draw pictures in the dirt during one of his many spats of boredom on the play ground, and was accidently left by the trees.

He gripped what he did have tightly and held it out in front of him as he slowly made his way to the door. He could hear sounds inside; that of groaning and mumbled growls. He then saw a foot clad in a red shoe slip into his field of vision.

"Anna!" he shouted, now running up to the door, throwing it open. Inside, he saw the teenager limp like a rag doll in the arms of a woman in a flowery dress. However, Rupert could tell this was not an ordinary woman. She was sucking furiously at Anna's neck, and her face had an enlarged brow and yellow eyes.

"Get back, vampire!" the boy shouted in the largest voice he could muster. He then thrust the cross toward the creature.

In haste, the demon dropped Anna, and looked at Rupert with those cold, yellow eyes. Try as he might, the trembling came, and the boy was helpless to stop it.

"Punkin?" she exclaimed as he face morphed back into its human visage.

Rupert's eyes went wide as saucers. "Mum?"

"Oh, Rupert darling," she said holding out her arms toward the boy and walking toward him.

"Stay back!" Rupert shouted, his entire body shaking and his eyes brimming with unshed tears. He had not seen his mother's face in a year and a half, and he wanted nothing more than to run into her arms. However, a glance at the unmoving body of Anna kept his head somewhat level. The kind, loving woman who had gone missing would have never done such a thing to an innocent girl.

"Sweetheart, do you think a silly cross is going to keep me from embracing my only son after all this time," she then got down on her knees so she was slightly below eye-level of him. She then put a cold hand on his extended arm. "I have missed you so much, my darling."

Rupert was silent, but he felt powerless against the beautiful demon that looked like his mother. The desire to be comforted had never been stronger, and he did not realize how much he missed being held as he did now. The arm she touched lowered, and his grip on the cross loosened.

"That's right, my dear. Come to mummy," She then put his arms around her son and put her cheek to his ear. "Don't worry, Rupert. I'm going to make it so we can be together…forever."

Rupert felt her face change against his ear, and heard the faint growls that always came from a hungry vampire. Sniffing back his tears, the boy took the cross he still held and pressed it against the vampire's chest.

"ARRRRRGHHHHH," she shouted as she fell back on the floor, grasping her smoldering chest. At that, Rupert ran as fast as he could to the kitchen and slammed the door behind him.

"Rupert! My child! How could you?" The cries from the other side of the door caused his heart to involuntarily clench. However, there was no time for his emotions to make a repeat appearance. He immediately darted from the small breakfast table by the window and felt underneath for the small box attached to the underside. He found the latch and undid it, letting stake hidden within clatter to the floor. He then grabbed it as he heard the demon's strong arms crash through the flimsy wood.

"You've been a naughty boy," she uttered, undoing the lock and letting the ruined door open. She gave a toothy grin as she slowly approached the boy. "It looks like you'll need to be punished."

Rupert put down the cross and reached for an innocuous-looking glass of water by the sink. He then threw the water into the approaching demon's eyes.

As the holy water made the vampire scream again, he laid one hard kick to its midsection, packing in it all the strength he could muster. Once she was on the ground, the boy climbed on top of her and he plunged the stake into her heart.

oOoOo

"Anthony?" Mary Giles breathed, her face going pale at the wide open door at their flat.

Her son's heart rate nearly doubled as he bounded up the stairs to the door, nearly tripping over a small messenger back hastily discarded.

"Rupert," he uttered, fearing the worst. Mary ran to meet him, and handed him one of the two stakes she had hidden in her handbag. They walked quietly into the door, their hearts in their throats. No sooner had the light from within hit their faces that the body of the future Slayer caught their eye.

"Anna," they yelled unison. Mary ran to her and felt for a pulse at her wrist, staring at the two puncture marks on her neck.

"She's dead," the older woman managed, trying to hold back her tears.

Anthony only gave himself seconds to grieve before worry for his son drove him to action. He immediately saw the shattered kitchen door in his peripheral vision and ran inside.

"Rupert!" he called out, hoping against hope that he did not find another body. Instead, he found a pile of grey-brown dust at his feet, and the sound of whimpering. He looked to the area underneath the breakfast table and saw the small, trembling form of his son.

The boy was clutching a stake in his hand, and was hugging his knees to his chest. His face was buried behind the two scraped legs, obviously crying.

"Rupert?" Anthony said, almost whispering. He knelt down to the boy's level and decided in that instant to damn all father-son decorum to hell. He reached out and put a hand on his son's elbow, and used his thumb to lightly stroke.

Rupert flinched at first, but once he realized the touch was friendly, he looked up to meet his father's gaze. The boy a rather nasty black eye that was too old to have been obtained by this incident. The older Giles could not bring himself to be angry, though. Based on the evidence, the boy had displayed a great amount of courage in the face of adversity. He must have also been through an awful trauma.

"Mum," he uttered in a cracked voice.

Anthony's eyes went wide. That was all he needed to hear to know what had happened here. It was also all the explanation he needed for how the vampire got into the house to exact her bloody rampage. Either Anna or Rupert had invited her in thinking it was the missing Isabelle.

Although there was a sense of peace at the knowledge of what had become of his beloved, there was a profound ache at the thought of their child – the physical symbol of their love – having to be the one to destroy the demon that took her face.

"Oh, my son," he said as tears prickled his eyes. "I'm so sorry. It should have been me. I should have done it. Not you. You should never have seen her like that."

At this, Rupert dropped his stake and jumped into his father's arms. Anthony threw his arms around the boy and gripped like he would never let go. They both sobbed together as Mary looked on from the doorway.

She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief, shocked at the sudden display of affection before her. Part of her wanted to be ashamed of her boys' display of emotion, but she held it back. This was needed. It had been needed for a long time.

oOoOo

Several hours later, both Anthony and Rupert were on the couch of the common room, listening to the Workers from the Council investigating the foyer and cleanly disposing of Anna's body. The younger Giles was on his father's lap, just as he had done when he was younger. It was slightly awkward for a boy of Rupert's height to be in the position, but Anthony did not have the heart to shoo him off. The boy still had some grey dust staining him school uniform and clinging to his hair. The event was still quite fresh.

Anthony sighed. He knew it was time. His boy had grown up in the past hour more than he could imagine. No boy should have to go through what this boy went through. Part of Anthony grieved at the loss of what was left of Rupert's innocence. However, he was also proud that his son was finally ready to hear what he had to tell him.

"Father?" Rupert's small voice asked.

"Yes?"

"Does the RAF fight vampires?"

Anthony could feel the tears brimming again. His son's ambitions were still strong within him. Although he knew they were only the innocent dreams of an immature mind, part of him still dreaded telling his son that they would never come true.

"No, Son," he replied. "The military would not know what to do with them."

Rupert simply nodded.

"Son…um…I-I just wanted to tell you that you did the right thing tonight."

Rupert nodded again, but with less force.

"Not every boy of ten would have been able to do what you did. You…you were very brave, Rupert. I am proud to call you my son."

Rupert cuddled closer to his father at that point, and the older Giles put his arms around him once more.

"In fact, I-I think you are now ready for me to t-tell you something very important."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"So…that was when my father told me about my destiny."

Giles tried to gauge Buffy's reaction to the story he had told her. She was looking at him with tears sliding down her cheeks and eyes as wide as saucers.

"Giles…when I said to tell me your darkest secret…I mean…I told you about stealing money from Dawn's piggy bank…"

Giles let out a laugh and met her gaze.

"Buffy, if we're going to do this – if we're going to be together – you should knew these things about me. Over the years, I have not been very forthcoming about my past. I feel like that should change."

Buffy nodded before the tears got more intense. "I'm so sorry, Giles!" she said before she grabbed her Watcher around his middle. "I thought finding my mother on the couch was bad…but what you had to do…God, there was no way I could have been that brave."

Giles smiled as he returned her embrace. "It's okay, Love."

"No, it's not okay!" the Slayer said, lifting her face up to meet his eyes. "You have been carrying this around since you were ten! Have you talked to anyone about it?"

"I talked to my father for a while, until I started to push him away. I was not terribly happy with my destiny, you see. Getting sent to boarding school at twelve for my studies seemed to drive in the point that I was destined for a life much like his; full of pain and suffering. I could never forgive him for that."

"But…your Grandma?"

"My grandmother was the kind of person who thought you should deal with your own problems. She felt like we should simply move on from our grief; that what happened was a risk my father took when he married my mother."

"That's…kind of mean."

"That point of view is not uncommon in Britain, particularly within the Watcher's Council."

"But that still doesn't make it right."

Giles nodded as he held his Slayer closer. "I know."

"So…you never talked about it with anyone? Jenny? Olivia? Ethan?"

"You're the first person I have told, Buffy," he whispered into her ear.

Buffy nodded, a fresh wave of tears coming to her. "I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you guys. I would…I would die if I had to keep it all inside."

"Keep in mind, Buffy, you have not been terribly forthcoming in the past yourself."

"Yeah, I kept my secrets, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm more open than a lot of girls my age. Telling Willow and Xander and you everything…it kept me going."

"I guess it was just me you were reluctant to share her feelings with."

Buffy wanted to reply and tell him that was not true, but she could not. "Sorry," she said.

"It's alright, dearest," he said, kissing her temple.

After a few minutes of lying in each other's arms, Giles made a modest attempt to push the girl off him.

"I need to show you something," he said. When Buffy let him up, he ran upstairs to his loft, and returned with an old shoe box. He placed it on the coffee table in front of his Slayer and carefully removed the lid. Inside was a group of letters held together with a rubber band, a tiny piece of lined paper that was yellowed with age and folded in half, and a tiny bottle of grey dust kept closed with a cork. Buffy took the bottle between her thumb and forefinger and examined it.

"Is this…?"

"That is all that I have left of my mother. I have always meant to bury it in a proper grave but…I never had the heart to."

Buffy put a hand on his knee as she replaced the bottle and picked up the note.

Hello, Sweetheart.

I realize it is hard starting a new school, but I know you will do great. You are a wonderful son and do not ever forget it. I love you.

-Mum

"That was a note I found in my bag on my first day at the only primary school that would take me after getting kicked out of the last one."

Buffy could not help but smile. "This is a lot like the note my mom wrote me on my first day at Sunnydale High," she said, relishing in the good memories.

Giles put a hand on her back and lightly stroked. "The day she wrote that note was also the day she disappeared," he admitted sadly.

Buffy closed her eyes, trying to hold back another onslaught of tears. She folded the note once more and replaced it. "What are these?" she asked, touching her fingertips to the letters.

"Those are letters to my mother," Giles replied. "I wrote them every day on her birthday, not having anywhere to send them. I poured my heart out to her ghost…hoping she would somehow read them."

Buffy took the letters and placed him in her lap, drawing her hands over the nearly illegible scrawl of the left-handed ten year old that was Giles. The envelope was yellow, and the paper was stiff, but Giles could remember stuffing the paper into it as if it was yesterday.

"Shall we read them together?" Giles asked Buffy. She looked up at him and frowned before reaching up to his face and wiping away a tear he did not know he had shed..

"I would love to, Rupert," Buffy replied as she slipped the first letter out of the rubber band.

END

oOoOo

AN: The RAF is the Royal Air Force, in case anyone was wondering.

Also, please review! They make my obsession worthwhile.