Yami Ryo: My very first Hetalia fanfic! W00T! (fireworks go off) Yay! Don't take this too seriously it's only for entertainment and because I believe 50 children is too much for anyone to handle even fictional characters. Well, that and cause I just love my awesome Alfie-chan! (glomps America plushy) Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Yami Ryo does not own Axis Powers Hetalia because if she did then this wouldn't be a fanfic now would it?
WARNING! This story contains almost no historical or present accuracy and is not to be taken seriously and in no way reflects how I really feel about anything other than fire, fireworks, and generally anything flammable...oh and violence, I loves me teh bloodshed! This will have mentions of Mpreg though you won't really find out much about it until a little later. This will have slash between whoever I decide or you happen to vote for. Right now I'm kinda torn between Yao/Alfred and Matthew/Alfred though. There will be fluffy slash, angst, swearing, violence, and explosions so if you're a pussy and can't handle it leave now or forever shut the fuck up. Sick a you homophobes harshin my mood.
Phone conversations like this
Not Much of a Chapter One But Enjoy it Anyway
A massive bonfire flared in massive bursts in the setting sun of one of the dark eerie forests in Maine. A slender pale young woman cackled loud and brash throwing random objects into her massive bonfire the laughter shaking her small frame her long black hair in slightly messy tangles though two strands stuck up from her head like a couple of insect antenna. Light from the fire cast an eerie gleam off her square framed glasses hiding her icy blue eyes. An eerie tune began to play from one of the pockets of her over sized military camouflage coat. She stopped laughing and blinked before reaching into her pocket and pulling out her orange flip phone and pushing talk.
"Yo, Libra S. Jones. You better talk fast." The woman said in a cold irritated voice.
North sweetheart I'm not feeling well. The familiar voice of Alfred F. Jones said sniffling miserably.
"Ma! Oh, poor Ma. Don't worry, I'll call everyone up and we'll take care a ya." Libra vowed her voice softening with warmth and love.
Oh sweetie you don't have to. I just wanted to talk to you. Talking to you always makes me feel so much better. Alfred replied gently. Libra could hear the soft smile in his voice.
"Don' chyu worry about it Ma. I'll be there by tomorrow and the others will be there too." Libra promised.
You're so sweet Honey. Alfred said letting out loud wet barking coughs. Libra's eyebrows furrowed in concern.
"You okay Ma? What's got ya so sick anyway?" Libra questioned.
It's that oil spill in the Gulf. You're poor brothers must be miserable too. Alfred told her.
"Poor Ma. Don't worry. We're all coming home so we'll take care of you and our brothers." Libra assured him.
Oh my little Angel. You're the best. Alfred coughed harshly.
"You rest up Ma. We'll be there by tomorrow. Love ya Ma." Libra vowed hanging up. She fiddled with her phone as she clomped away in her heavy standard issue military boots and pulled up her speed dial.
Far in the gloomy forests of Washington and close to the border of Canada a small two story modern home sat with cheerful light blue walls, and soft pink shutters. A rather bright and colorful garden of flowers bloomed around the house. Inside it was bright, warm, and cozy. A loud cheerful ring sounded and the sound of light footsteps could be heard in the halls. A young girl looking to be in her mid-teens with brilliant blue eyes behind half moon specs and long curling red hair light freckled skin and a shapely frame skipped into the rather friendly and inviting kitchen and grabbed the dark blue phone off the hook.
"Hello! Lydia A. Jones speaking! How might I make your day brighter?" She asked cheerfully twirling in place her dark green skirt flowing out around her.
West This is Northeast. Bad news yo. The familiar voice of Libra came from the phone.
"Libby! What's wrong? Not another bad storm I hope." Lydia responded worried.
Nah. Seems Ma got sick. I'm puttin' Ma on strict bed rest and I'll be taking over his work until the oil spill is cleaned up. All of us are going to Ma's home in D.C. to take care of him in his time of need. I'll be calling the others to check on them as well. If Ma is suffering this badly I can only imagine the shape Souta and Gordon must be in, they are the south and closest to the Gulf. Libra said rather lazily.
"Oh no! I didn't think of that! Poor Sou-tan and Gordy must be so ill!" Lydia said worriedly.
How 'bout you go and pick up Souta. I'll pick up Gordon myself. Libra spoke with finality and hung up.
"Libby? ...Really! Doesn't anyone say goodbye anymore?" Lydia complained already hanging up and moving to pack.
Sitting on a dock in Michigan was a rather adorable stout young lady in her late teens. She was short slightly plump but shapely and beautiful with lightly tanned skin, short blond curls and wide blue eyes. She cast her fishing line just as the Batman theme song began to belt from her overall pocket. Giddily she reached into her front pocket and pulled out a sleek silver flip phone and pushed talk.
"Hey hi! Cecilia J. Jones is here to save the day! How can I rescue you?" She asked cheerfully adjusting her big golden circle framed glasses her one jutting cowlick flicking like an antenna in her excitement to receive a call.
Yo Middle West it is Northeast. Bad news Chibi. Libra responded.
"Oh no! I'll save you Libs! Where are you?" Cecilia shouted jumping up and dropping her pole as she drew rather wild conclusions in her mind. A rather familiar soft chuckle sounded over the line making Cecilia blush a little in embarrassment though her determination did not fade.
You remind me a Ma Luv. It's got nothin' to do with me Ceci. Seems Ma and very likely Southeast and Southwest are sick cause a the recent oil spill. We're all gonna go ta Ma's home in D.C. and take care of them. Are you up to the challenge? Libra spoke her words soft and comforting. Cecilia's heart beat fast as tears of worry gathered in the corners of her eyes and though she knew Libra would not see she gave a rather enthusiastic salute.
"I the great hero Cecilia J. Jones accept this mission for the good of my region and the good of my Mom!" Cecilia cried hanging up in her excitement and abandoning her things on the dock to run to her small cheerful lakeside house.
In a hot bug infested swamp of Louisiana sat a rather rundown shack. Inside it was dark and rather gloomy though the soft glow of candle light was present in one room. In that room under a blanket and on top of a pile of hay a lanky young man lay miserably. He had pale skin and dark brown eyes though his hair was a golden blond and lay flat and life less on his head. Loud rings sounded followed by a loud barking cough. A few slapping sounds were heard before the ringing stopped.
"Ugh...whaddayawan?" The young man asked miserably snuffling and wiping his nose on the sleeve of his overly large black hoodie.
Hello Little Brother. The familiar voice of his slightly older twin spoke up in the slow annoyed way it usually did when speaking to him.
"Hey North. You okay up there?" He asked voice raspy in his thick southern accent annoyed with being awake when so ill.
I'm fine Little Brother. I'm comin' down there ta get ya South. Ma is sick and from the sound of it you are too. I'll be callin' Southwest to warn him that West will be getting him...how are you Gordon? Gordon smiled softly to himself at the clear concern in his older twins voice.
"I'm surviving North...I love you Lib. Be safe, I'd hate for anything but me to kill you." Gordon joked.
As though you could Gord. Libra chuckled as she hung up. Gordon sighed and hung up his phone.
In the blazing Arizona desert sun sat a one floor house by an abandoned dirt road and one cactus. Inside an A.C. was blasting on full and a tall rather burly young man in his late teens shuffled around his home sniffling and trying to make himself a sandwich. He was mostly muscle but with a bit of a belly and short military cut dark brown hair light brown eyes and a dark tan. Background music from Tetris belted from his shorts pocket and he pulled out his iphone and pushed talk.
"Souta D. Jones reporting. What is it?" He said with a thick Texas drawl burdened by a stuffy nose.
Yo Southwest, this is Northeast. Bad news, though I'm sure you must have put it together. Libra's familiar voice told him easily.
"Howdy North. Yeah, I figured Maw'd git sick. Little Gordy sick too?" He asked holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he continued to make his sandwich.
Yup. We're all goin' ta Ma's home to take care of him and Southeast. Sounds like they're the two most affected by this. West will be there soon to get ya so just go with her. Libra replied. A smirk made its way onto Souta's face.
"You takin' over fer Maw till he's better?" Souta asked.
Of course. It is my duty as his eldest to pick up when he can't. After all, Ma needs his rest. Souta could hear the sadistic smirk in Libra's voice. He laughed.
"Sis when ya go ta them world meetin' ya ought ta leave some pieces of 'em behind y'know. Take care not to leave evidence." Souta joked.
Do I ever? Souta began to laugh as Libra and he both hung up.
"No Libs, I don't suppose ya ever do." He said though he knew she would not hear. "Things are goin' ta git pretty interesting with Libra in charge. Crazy bitch."
It was not long before all five regions were in Alfred's rather large mansion like home closer to the edge of D.C. Libra carried Gordon inside Souta, Cecilia, and Lydia following her in quickly.
"Lydia why don't you start some soup. I'm sure Ma's hungry by now and I can hear Gordon's stomach, yo," Libra voiced. Gordon blushed a little and Lydia ran off to the kitchen with a slight squeal of joy always eager to make her health crap. Souta shook his head and Cecilia bounced on her heals brimming with excitement for her own orders. "Cecilia you help Lydia get the dishes out and the tv trays. I'm takin' Gordon and Souta ta Ma's room so they can rest together. They'll all eat in there so they don't have to use too much energy."
"On it Sir!" Cecilia cried running off to the kitchen so fast she slipped and slammed into a wall before getting up quickly and going to the kitchen laughing at herself. Libra, Gordon, and Souta rolled their eyes and laughed a little too making their way up to Alfred's room. They walked into Alfred's room and saw him sleeping rather fitfully. The three smiled in a loving sad way and Libra tucked Gordon in next to Alfred. Alfred immediately curled up around Gordon who snuggled back into him with a smile. Souta smirked.
"Aw, well ain't that just the cutest thing?" Souta whispered teasingly. Libra lightly punched his arm grinning and Gordon flipped them off and snuggled deeper. Alfred let out a content sigh and a small adorable smile grew on his lips. Libra shook her head at the rather cute sight.
"You ought to crawl in there too Souta, you're sick as well in case you've forgotten." Libra said softly. Souta rolled his eyes at her mother-henning and crawled into the bed anyway and curled around Alfred protectively. Libra shook her head and left the room in search of Tony. Her search did not take long since he was in the basement like he always was.
"North." Tony greeted without looking up at her the short gray alien's large black eyes focused on the little machine he was tinkering with.
"Tony." Libra responded in kind.
"He's got all his work in his office. Everything you need is in there. The next world meeting will be in New York in five days. I have some new...fireworks, if you'd like to try them out." Tony said blankly. Libra smirked.
"Of course I do Tony. You make the best toys, yo." Libra responded a sadistic smile creeping its way across her face.
An hour later Libra returned to Alfred's room to see her whole family curled together talking softly and happily. Alfred was awake and looked as though he were close to weeping in joy a bright beautiful smile splitting his face. Libra smiled softly love leaving a warm feeling in her heart. Alfred spotted her and beamed.
"Li! My angel...c'mere. I'm so happy to see you!" Alfred said his voice loving and gentle. Libra walked forward and crawled onto the bed and sidled up to Alfred.
"Hey Ma. Sorry it took so long to get here but we'll take care of you now, yo." Libra vowed determined. Alfred smiled and pulled her into a tight hug filled with so much love and care tears began to sting at Libra's eyes though they did not fall. She could not imagine how anyone could ever imagine hurting their sweet Alfred, their beloved mother.
"I love you all so much. Thank you for coming home." Alfred whispered to them all.
"Anything for you Ma, yo." Libra said softly.
"Always Maw." Souta told him gruffly.
"Course Mama." Gordon sniffled.
"I love seeing you Mom you know that." Lydia replied.
"For Mommy!" Cecilia cried heroically pumping her fist causing the others to roll their eyes and laugh.
"I'm so happy. Thank you." Alfred sniffled joyously. Libra patted Alfred's belly softly.
"I'm going to do your work for you until you're better that includes those crappy world meetings so don't worry about anything, yo." Libra told him. Alfred smiled and nodded.
"You should take Ceci with you. I'm sure she would love it." Alfred told her. Cecilia beamed at the both of them hopefully and Libra sighed rolling her eyes.
"Fine. When you feel better you owe me a trip to Cannobie Lake for this, yo." Libra told him stubbornly. Alfred grinned and hugged her tighter.
"Deal!" Alfred replied eagerly. He loved amusement parks.
Days later the day before the meeting rolled around and Libra was gathering Alfred's plans together and stuffing her favorite military jacket full of her favorite flammables. Her bell-bottom jeans flopped over her standard issue military boots torn and faded. Cecilia buzzed around her throwing together anything she thought she might need in her home made utility belt. She wore a batman t-shirt under a suit jacket and her utility belt held up her suit pants, she wore black and yellow converse sneakers with the Bat Symbol on the side.
"Should I bring papers too?" Cecilia asked eagerly.
"No...Bring a notebook and take notes though, yo." Libra told her.
"Be careful when you go there. Watch out for Russia he's a nut-job and he's tougher than he pretends to be. Please mind your manners and don't give Iggy too much trouble. Mind Mattie and kick France in the nuts if he tries anything." Alfred fussed over the two of them in equal amounts hugging them randomly and coughing.
"Ma! Relax yo! We'll be fine." Libra assured him. Alfred smiled.
"I know sweetheart I know. You've gotten so grown up." Alfred said tearfully. Libra groaned in embarrassment.
"Ma! Not cool yo." Libra said. Cecilia giggled. Alfred glomped Cecilia.
"Oh my little girl! I haven't forgotten you either! So grown up!" Alfred cried squeezing her. Cecilia squeaked.
"Mommy no!" Cecilia cried. Libra laughed at her.
"Okay okay. We gotta go now. We'll see ya in a few days Ma. Later yo." Libra said making her way to the door. Cecilia returned Alfred's glomp quickly and followed after Libra.
"Bye Mom!" Cecilia cried running after Libra. "Wait Libs!"
TBC...
Yami Ryo: Okay hope you guys liked that! Alfred is my fav character and most of the time I read that he has like 50 kids cause of state personifications. Well I've decided 'Nay! Nay I say!' He shall have only five kids cause that's all anyone can handle unless their freakin' insane or teachers. So his kids are the five regions of the U.S. Northeast, Southeast, Middle West, Southwest, and West. You'll find out why they call him 'Mother' in the next few chapters promise! Though how it happened will probably leave you going "Wha? You can't do that bitch!" and to that I say "Yes I fucking can! I'm an author ho!" and you will be like "Zomg! I'll slap a bitch!" and I'll be like "You have to catch me first ho!" and then I run. Sorry it's like 2 in the morning and I'm tired.
Matthew/Alfred:_
Yao/Alfred:_
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