Shrek Adaptation
By: C.G
Notes.
1. This is pretty much the movie, but since I don't have the novelisation, I'm doing my own for fun.
2. I don't really know why I felt like doing this.
3. Even though you know how this ends, least give it a shot.
4. That is all. Proceed with caution. Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all time and no standing.
~*~
Part One
LIFE IS GRAND
"Once upon a time there was a lovely princess,
But she had an enchantment upon her of an awful sort,
That could only be broken by true loves first kiss,
She guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon,
Many brave knights had tried to rescue her from the prison,
But none prevailed,
So she waited in the dragons keep,
In the tallest room of the tallest tower,
Where she waited for her true love,
And true loves first kiss."
"Hyeah, right! Like that's ever gonna happen… what a load of-" the voice that had once voiced the telling of a beautiful tale was now laughing heartily as he slammed his book shut after ripping a page from it, for his own personal use.
After a flush of a toilet, the door of an outhouse was kicked open from the inside, and there stood the body that belonged to the voice. He wasn't exactly what you'd call Prince Charming, or a Frog. He was an ogre.
He scratched his behind, pulling his pants from riding up on him, and closed the outhouse door behind him and surveyed his home. He lived in a swamp, that was anyone's first guess. The mud, the swamp itself, stinking plants… but this is where he called home.
The house itself was the remains of a tree, hollow inside and the earth underneath it had been dug out so he lived underneath the tree, using it as a chimney. After his trip to the outhouse, began his daily ritual. He grabbed a nearby bucket and filled it full of mud.
Next he hung it on a branch above him, flung his clothes off and had, what you would call, a shower. A mud shower that is. After his daily messy shower, he cleaned his teeth with what used to be inside an insect. Then he plunged himself into the swamp, and using his own physical needs, caught some fish which would go lovely with his dinner.
Today was his painting day, he spent most of the day and afternoon painting a new sign which read "Beware Ogre!" and had a rather awful face of himself painted on it. Proudly he placed it in front of his house, and proceeded inside to have his dinner of slug, tadpoles and worm stuffed pumpkin.
But unbeknownst to him, trouble was brewing. In the town nearby a group of men were preparing themselves for an attack. An attack upon the ogre. They grabbed their torches and pitchforks and readied themselves. Then they headed off into the swamp quickly.
Meanwhile the ogre had finished his meal and was now relaxing, but his oddly shaped ears suddenly picked up on something. Sounds of people. He groaned to himself, lurched to his feet and glanced out his window. In the far distance he saw the group. With a roll with his eyes he left his house via the back door.
After going through the swamp quickly and efficiently, he was soon stalking behind the would be hunters. Soon they came to a stop at the tall grass which was near his house. They observed the light coming from the warm fire inside.
"Right… it's in there." Said a man who was holding a pitchfork.
"Good. Let's get it!" declared one holding a torch, he made a run, but was stopped short by another man.
"Hold on! Don't you know what that thing could do to you?" he asked, for he had heard awful things that ogres had been known to do. Him and some other men.
"Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread!" said another.
The ogre, who had been stood behind them, chuckled to himself. His chuckle was rather loud, and all the men turned and came face to chest with him. Since the ogre was tall, he looked down at them as he spoke as if he was good friends with the group.
"Well actually, that would be a giant!" he exclaimed, some of the men yelped and began to back off. Taking this as an invitation, the ogre stepped forward each time they retreated.
"Now ogres, oh they're much worse!" he went on happily, "They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin!"
"No!" cried a man,
"They'll shave your livers!" he continued with each step.
"Ah!!" came another cry,
"And squeeze the jelly from your eyes!" at this point the men had stopped backing up, since they had no where else to back up to, and the ogre paused. "Actually it's quite good on toast." He added.
He was suddenly startled as one man was now waving a torch at his face.
"Back! Get back beast! I warned ya!" came the calls of the man, trying to find out of this beast, like the classic Frankenstein, was afraid of fire.
The response he got, wasn't what he wanted. The ogre simply licked his hand, and put the fire out. The startled man dropped the torch.
"Urm… right." He said simply.
The ogre raised an eyebrow, then let loose an awful, horrible, ear bursting roar directly into the men's faces. They screamed in response as the ogre's roar continued to last, with bits of his dinner that was left in his mouth, shooting out and landing on some of the men faces.
Soon he stopped and wiped his mouth, but the poor men still screamed, expecting him to attack. When he did not, they stopped screaming and stared at him, wide-eyed. He then leant in and whispered.
"This is the part, where you run away."
And they did just that. They dropped everything they had, and bolted out of the swamp as if a whole herd of ogres were after them. The ogre laughed to himself as he watched them run. This was one of his favourite pass times, scaring the snot out of any would be hunters.
"And stay out!" he yelled after them. He turned to return to his home, when he spotted a piece of paper on the floor. He picked it up. It had the face of an elf on it.
"Wanted, Fairy Tale Creatures." He read to himself. So that's why the men were after him, they wanted money for his capture. He rolled his eyes and tossed the paper away and headed back inside to get some good shut eye.
To be Continued
By: C.G
Notes.
1. This is pretty much the movie, but since I don't have the novelisation, I'm doing my own for fun.
2. I don't really know why I felt like doing this.
3. Even though you know how this ends, least give it a shot.
4. That is all. Proceed with caution. Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all time and no standing.
~*~
Part One
LIFE IS GRAND
"Once upon a time there was a lovely princess,
But she had an enchantment upon her of an awful sort,
That could only be broken by true loves first kiss,
She guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon,
Many brave knights had tried to rescue her from the prison,
But none prevailed,
So she waited in the dragons keep,
In the tallest room of the tallest tower,
Where she waited for her true love,
And true loves first kiss."
"Hyeah, right! Like that's ever gonna happen… what a load of-" the voice that had once voiced the telling of a beautiful tale was now laughing heartily as he slammed his book shut after ripping a page from it, for his own personal use.
After a flush of a toilet, the door of an outhouse was kicked open from the inside, and there stood the body that belonged to the voice. He wasn't exactly what you'd call Prince Charming, or a Frog. He was an ogre.
He scratched his behind, pulling his pants from riding up on him, and closed the outhouse door behind him and surveyed his home. He lived in a swamp, that was anyone's first guess. The mud, the swamp itself, stinking plants… but this is where he called home.
The house itself was the remains of a tree, hollow inside and the earth underneath it had been dug out so he lived underneath the tree, using it as a chimney. After his trip to the outhouse, began his daily ritual. He grabbed a nearby bucket and filled it full of mud.
Next he hung it on a branch above him, flung his clothes off and had, what you would call, a shower. A mud shower that is. After his daily messy shower, he cleaned his teeth with what used to be inside an insect. Then he plunged himself into the swamp, and using his own physical needs, caught some fish which would go lovely with his dinner.
Today was his painting day, he spent most of the day and afternoon painting a new sign which read "Beware Ogre!" and had a rather awful face of himself painted on it. Proudly he placed it in front of his house, and proceeded inside to have his dinner of slug, tadpoles and worm stuffed pumpkin.
But unbeknownst to him, trouble was brewing. In the town nearby a group of men were preparing themselves for an attack. An attack upon the ogre. They grabbed their torches and pitchforks and readied themselves. Then they headed off into the swamp quickly.
Meanwhile the ogre had finished his meal and was now relaxing, but his oddly shaped ears suddenly picked up on something. Sounds of people. He groaned to himself, lurched to his feet and glanced out his window. In the far distance he saw the group. With a roll with his eyes he left his house via the back door.
After going through the swamp quickly and efficiently, he was soon stalking behind the would be hunters. Soon they came to a stop at the tall grass which was near his house. They observed the light coming from the warm fire inside.
"Right… it's in there." Said a man who was holding a pitchfork.
"Good. Let's get it!" declared one holding a torch, he made a run, but was stopped short by another man.
"Hold on! Don't you know what that thing could do to you?" he asked, for he had heard awful things that ogres had been known to do. Him and some other men.
"Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread!" said another.
The ogre, who had been stood behind them, chuckled to himself. His chuckle was rather loud, and all the men turned and came face to chest with him. Since the ogre was tall, he looked down at them as he spoke as if he was good friends with the group.
"Well actually, that would be a giant!" he exclaimed, some of the men yelped and began to back off. Taking this as an invitation, the ogre stepped forward each time they retreated.
"Now ogres, oh they're much worse!" he went on happily, "They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin!"
"No!" cried a man,
"They'll shave your livers!" he continued with each step.
"Ah!!" came another cry,
"And squeeze the jelly from your eyes!" at this point the men had stopped backing up, since they had no where else to back up to, and the ogre paused. "Actually it's quite good on toast." He added.
He was suddenly startled as one man was now waving a torch at his face.
"Back! Get back beast! I warned ya!" came the calls of the man, trying to find out of this beast, like the classic Frankenstein, was afraid of fire.
The response he got, wasn't what he wanted. The ogre simply licked his hand, and put the fire out. The startled man dropped the torch.
"Urm… right." He said simply.
The ogre raised an eyebrow, then let loose an awful, horrible, ear bursting roar directly into the men's faces. They screamed in response as the ogre's roar continued to last, with bits of his dinner that was left in his mouth, shooting out and landing on some of the men faces.
Soon he stopped and wiped his mouth, but the poor men still screamed, expecting him to attack. When he did not, they stopped screaming and stared at him, wide-eyed. He then leant in and whispered.
"This is the part, where you run away."
And they did just that. They dropped everything they had, and bolted out of the swamp as if a whole herd of ogres were after them. The ogre laughed to himself as he watched them run. This was one of his favourite pass times, scaring the snot out of any would be hunters.
"And stay out!" he yelled after them. He turned to return to his home, when he spotted a piece of paper on the floor. He picked it up. It had the face of an elf on it.
"Wanted, Fairy Tale Creatures." He read to himself. So that's why the men were after him, they wanted money for his capture. He rolled his eyes and tossed the paper away and headed back inside to get some good shut eye.
To be Continued