Disclaimer : I own Nothing. Only Joe, Finite and the crappy story line(if u can call it that) are mine.
a/n . Joeschmoe is sometimes referred to as Joe. And the other guy on the Linkshell is Finite.
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A tall elvaan was leaning with his back against the fountain in Parade Ground in North San d'Oria. His long silver traveled down to his lower back, blowing slightly with gentle breeze. His beautiful face was currently showing something that greatly resembled anger… okay, maybe it was anger…
" C'mon Joe, I need some heeeeeeeeeelp!"
"No, I'm busy right now…" yeah, busy…he'll buy that … right?
"No your not!" damn.
"Come on! Just help a friend out, It'll only take a second! I swear! "
" Yeah…right, listen I may be level 75, and I may be rich, and yes - I'm damn good lookin' but that doesn't mean I can come by and save your sorry ass every time you call for help! I do have other things to do you know."
"Joeschmoe…Please? insert puppy dog eyes here "
"no"
"yes"
"no"
"yes"
"no"
"yes"
"no"
"yes"
"if I agree well you shut up and leave me alone?"
"yeppers!"
"argh, fine…your in LaThine right?"
"uh-huh"
"Alright - I'll be there shortly"
"you're the best White Mage out there Joe!"
"yeah yeah…"
Joeschmoe looked up towards the cloudless sky, and sighed.
Why me? What I'd ever do to deserve this? Why the hell can't he just do it by himself? Why do I have to be there to kill the TWO crabs between him and the stupid retard who lost his sword? I mean, honestly , how many times is Ruillont gonna travel into Ordelle Caves without his damn sword? I swear it's all a set up…
Joe sighed and decided he'd grab a Chocobo and ride it to Ordelle Caves, help out his friend Finite, then go and relax somewhere…maybe he'd go to Siren Sands in Valkrum Dunes and relax by the ocean or maybe even travel to Mhaura via ship…he just wanted to relax…yeah, a ride to Mhaura is sounding real good…
By this time Joeschmoe was already at the Chocobo stables. He exchanged small talk with the lady before handing over the money to borrow the Chocobo, with that he left with a flourish (because even though he was tired and wanted to relax he still had to keep up appearances) he was off.
He managed to get to LaThine with the help of his Chocobo and he even managed to go a little ways east, until his Chocobo decided that it would much rather chase after Walking Sapling then go to spooky Ordelle Caves… and so it ran… in the complete opposite direction…after a sapling.
Joeschmoe , being the smart sensible person he was , decided to yell and pull at the Chocobo's feathers until it stopped and turned around went in the proper direction. Or at least that's what was supposed to happen. Instead the Chocobo decided to buck up and throw Joe off so that it could continue running after the poor sapling.
So Joeschmoe sat there. And stared. And stared. Before idle wondering why he didn't just use his Teleport Holla to get here.
"JOE! You almost here?"
"Yeah, I'm c'mon…be there soon…"
"Okay Awesome"
Joeschmoe sighed. And started walking towards Ordelle Caves.
When it started raining.
And then a bright flash illuminated the sky, closely followed by a loud boom of thunder.(or is it the other way around?)
"No, Damn way! It doesn't even thunder here in LaThine!" he shouted angrily. Everybody knows that!
His little outburst was rewarded with more thunder and lighting as well as more rain.
Damn.
So onward he trudged. Through rain…a few goblins…a couple over-sized worms…and some fun guars … he finally made it to the entrance of Ordelle Caves.
He ate a ginger cookie and kneeled so he could heal his MP (he's a white mage so he was getting his ass kicked by all the puny weakling monsters on his way to the caves, and thus had to use tons of his mp).
Once that was all said and done he walked into Ordelle Caves just in time to see Finite die. Joe quickly ran over killed what killed Finite (actually it just K.O.'d him but, it's just easier for me to say he died - so deal with it) .
After killing the stupid bat Joe turned to start casting Raise on Finite … and Finite wasn't there anymore. So Joe asked him Via the Link shell.
"FINITE. Where the hell are you!"
"Huh? Oh I died so I went back to my Home Point."
"I could have raised you." stay calm stay calm stay calm stay calm stay calm …
"Huh? Oh yeah I forgot bout that, well…Umm You can help me tomorrow. 'kay? "
He makes it sound like I want to help…
"…" don't say anything, you say something and you'll just yell and then he'll manage to get you to help him with something else out of guilt…
"By the way can you help me out tomorrow? I wanna reach Level 18 so I can get my sub but I need a power Leveler…could you help?"
"…" don't say anything ,don't say anything ,don't say anything ,don't say anything ,don't say anything …
"Awesome! See ya tomorrow dude!" don't say anything ,don't say anything, don't say anyth-WAIT ?WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
" Finite? Finite? FINITE? Damn it!" He unequipped the Link shell! That little pipsqueak!
For a good long while Joeschmoe just stood there. Pondering what would be the best way to murder Finite.
He then sneezed.
The monsters in the area were smart they stayed away. Mainly because you could practically see the steam coming out his ears. The throbbing vain on the side of his head. His eyes practically bled red from rage.
Then he sneezed again.
He muttered curses under his breath as he got his staff from it's holder on his back.
He sneezed again.
He muttered more curses then cast Diaga II on the monsters in the immediate area.
He then Sneezed again.
And he shouted various curses at every single monster that so much as breathed the same as him…and after shouting said curses he beat the poor animals into next year.
He then cast warp. Went home. Slept. And decided that come tomorrow he was going to be missing. And by missing he meant relaxing on a ship in the middle of the ocean with no form of contacting anyone including the retarded Finite. When he returned Finite would getting the ass-kicking of the century.
-Fin-