Misa the Gambler
BEFORE YOU START READING, if you have no idea how to play five-card-draw, you may want to look up some basic rules first.) Enjoy!
Misa flopped down onto her bed in the Kira Investigation headquarters. She was so bored; Light had been paying hardly any attention to her since last week when he asked her to find a file for him and L. At least he trusted her competence to do that much…
She shook her head. Misa knew well that her true love and that sweet-loving genius were good friends. They both enjoyed tennis, solving puzzles, and winning arguments at any cost. They had so much in common, the girl quietly mused, that the boys could've easily been twins in another life.
That's beside the point, she thought to herself. I want Light to pay more attention to me! But how can I do that when I can't even hold his hand?! He's always hanging out with Ryuzaki thanks to those stupid handcuffs! Light isn't even Kira; I can tell. Oh, there's just got to be a way to spend more time with him…!
Suddenly, Misa remembered the game night the team had had about a month ago. It was clear that they'd all been working very hard, and Ryuzaki had declared they had all earned a little evening off to relax and have fun. Apparently, murders and other mysteries weren't the only pastimes of the world's greatest detective; he loved games like Trivial Pursuit, Jenga, and, of course, Clue. Light had seemed to have fun as well. Then the (temporarily inactive) second Kira recalled the poker game everyone had played at the end of the night. There wasn't a single frown at the table, and Watari of all people had shown quite a prowess at the game, with L and Light close behind him of course.
An epiphany sprang into the blonde woman's mind. If she could prove her worth by being a great poker player, maybe Light would finally start seeing her in a new way! The only reason she hadn't participated in the hands last time was because she just didn't know how to play. But, now that the power of true love was motivating her, she shot to her laptop and began searching for the rules. She knew the investigation team was due for another night off very soon, and she wanted to be nice and prepared…
"Darn it, you win again, Watari," Matsuda said in a state of awe as he watched is five chips get swept away by the older man's hands, along with everyone else's bets. The whole task force was gathered around a square card table in the main lobby, each with their own chips in front of them (though they weren't as evenly distributed as they had been before).
"You're way too good at this game," Aizawa muttered, picking up the cards so he could be the dealer.
"Nonsense. L and Light are close to my amount of chips."
"Yes, but you're two-hundred dollars ahead of me and three hundred ahead of Light," L complained.
"Luck is just on my side right now, Ryuzaki."
"Whatever helps you sleep…"
"HI EVERYONE!"
The men all heaved a frustrated internal sigh as Misa bounced into the room, decked out in another one of her Goth Lolita outfits. She was holding a fold-up chair, clearly about to sit down.
"Hello, Misa," Light said, assuming she had come down to talk to him; she rarely left her floor for other reasons. "Can I help you?"
"Oh, Light, you're so considerate!" the blonde smiled. "I thought I'd join the game, if you don't mind."
Everyone in the room froze. L nearly choked on his cookie (he had a plate on the table beside his chips) while Mogi and Aizawa shared concerned looks. Light only widened his eyes. He could easily tell that Misa just wanted to spend more time with him, and he wasn't about to turn her away; that would just be rude.
"Well, we'd love to let you in, Misa, but you don't know how to play," the college student responded.
"Oh sure I do! I looked up the rules this afternoon!" After hearing this, even Matsuda was getting worried that they would have to scoot over to give her room.
"Well," Watari suddenly cut in, "We can't let such effort to go unappreciated. Please, take my seat, young lady. I was getting a bit tired, but I didn't want to leave them with one less player, so this works out perfectly."
You bastard, Light and L simultaneously thought. Don't leave her alone with us! You just want to get the hell out of here before you want to pull your ears off just to quit hearing her talk!
Of course, the old man's fib fooled the eager woman quite well. "Really? That's so sweet of you, Watari! Such a gentleman!" He merely smiled and vacated his chair, receiving death glares from others in the process. As he passed L on the way upstairs, the younger man felt a piece of paper pushed into his hand. He opened it and read:
I regret nothing. Good luck.
"Okay, Aizawa, go ahead and deal," Light said once Misa was settled in her chair.
"I don't have any of those little round things," the girl pointed out, clearly talking about the chips in front of everyone else. Sorichio sighed and pulled up the briefcase, giving Misa the same number of chips everyone else had started with. "So this is money, right?" she clarified as she picked up a handful of white ones and let them trickle through her fingers, resulting in them clattering onto the table and sending a couple rolling onto the floor.
"Please don't lose them; this set belonged to Watari's grandfather," L told her. He was lying. The set didn't really have any true significance; he just wanted Misa to not cause such a ruckus.
For the second time that night, Misa believed the lie, apologized, and straightened her chips out in front of her like the other task force members. She noticed that five cards had been dealt to everybody, but they weren't looking at them yet.
"Let's open with two," Aizawa said, throwing two white chips into the center of the table.
"I'm in." Matsuda did the same.
"So am I." Sorichio followed suit.
"Me too." Mogi repeated the action.
"Alright." Light agreed.
Misa sat silently staring at her love with an affectionate look on her face.
"Ahem," L cleared his throat, causing her to snap out of it.
"What?" she asked.
"If you want to play, you have to put in two white chips," Light told her before L could give her any sarcasm. "Oh!" She daintily placed her chips in the center, and L threw his in after her.
When everyone began looking at their hands, Misa picked hers up in order to look knowledgeable about what she was doing. In truth, she hadn't looked that hard at the rules; every time she tried to focus, she would start daydreaming about Light and how much he was going to respect her after this! She lifted the cards to her face one at a time.
"Ooooh, a queen!" she exclaimed. "There's her sister~!"
The object of her affections turned his head to the detective, who seemed one step away from either committing suicide against himself or homicide against Misa. Light put a hand on her forearm as she was reaching for her next card. "What's the matter?"
"Misa, you aren't supposed to tell us what you have in your hand," he explained.
"Oh! Sorry, guys! Just forget I said that," the girl apologized. She then picked up the rest of her cards in complete silence.
"Alright," Aizawa declared, "How many, Matsuda?"
"Hmmm… Two please." Misa observed carefully as the young officer traded two cards with his superior for two more from the deck.
"Just one," Sorichio said, going through the same process.
"Three for me please," Mogi stated.
"I'll take two," said Light.
Again, Misa completely lost herself in watching what her crush was doing that it took another throat clearing from L to snap her back to reality.
"Um, Misa?" Light interrupted.
"Yes, darling?"
"How many cards do you want?"
"Oh, do I get more?"
Aizawa looked ready to smash his head on the table in frustration.
Light tried to stay calm. "Yes, you need to get rid of your bad cards in order to get new ones."
"Oh! My, this is a problem…" Misa leaned back and began scratching her head in thought.
"Misa, please hurry. You're holding up the game," Aizawa complained.
"Well, I'm sorry! I just can't decide whether to get rid of my two queens or my three kings!"
Dead silence filled the room as everyone realized Misa (unfortunately for them) had a full house. After a few moments of quiet, L begrudgingly slid all the chips in the center towards the clueless blonde. She looked up in confusion.
"What are you doing that for?" she questioned.
"…because as much as we hate to admit it, you won," the detective grumbled, not bothering to hide his irritation anymore. His comment made no difference though as Misa simply widened her eyes and beamed at Light.
"Hey, I'm pretty good at this game!" she said cheerfully.
"Yeah… sure…" Light replied.
A couple more excruciating hands (and a sore throat for L) later, Misa became the dealer. Her aim when throwing the cards to everyone rivaled that of an out-of-control tennis ball machine. Even when she apologized, a few of the men still had sour expressions on their faces.
Everyone threw in the two white chips for the opening bet again—everyone but Misa, who was still picking up some of her cards off the floor. L would've "ahem"ed her again had she not thrown in her money the instant she sat back up.
Everyone stared at Misa again, since she was the one with the deck and the ability to give new cards to people.
"Can someone else clear their throat at her? Mine is starting to hurt from doing it," L quipped.
"What did I do now?" Misa pouted.
"The cards, Misa. You have to give them to people since you're the dealer now," Light explained. He was the one keeping everyone at the game from killing her, but even his patience was starting to wear thin.
"Oh! Sorry about that! How many do you want, Light?"
"No, the other way around."
"Whoops." The girl turned towards L with the deck.
"I'm fine," the brunette mumbled.
"You seem tired… You sure you're okay?"
"I mean I don't need any more cards, Ms. Amane."
"OH! What 'cha got?! What 'cha got?!"
"Just give Aizawa his three cards please."
"But I didn't even tell her how many I needed!" the officer protested.
"But that is the amount you need right?"
"Uh… Yes. Wait, how did you know-?"
"You have a very bad poker face; that's all."
"Here you go, Aizawa!" Misa said happily.
The process continued around the table with L also predicting the amount of cards Sorichio and Mogi wanted. The time came for bets, and since Ryuzaki was to the left of Misa, he was the one to start. But as Misa was fixing her hand with her new cards, she noticed he was finishing off his (fifth? sixth?) cookie, so he couldn't talk right away.
"AHEM!" she shouted, right in his ear, causing him to jump and knock his tray of pastries to the ground, unsalvageable. After getting over his shock, he gave her the worst death glare any of the team had ever seen. If looks could kill, Misa's funeral invitations would be in the mail.
"Let's bet fifty," the crouching genius said, throwing in a red chip.
"I'm out," Aizawa said.
"Me too," Matsuda sighed as he sat his cards down.
"I'm folding," and "Nope," came from the two Yagamis. Mogi just put down his hand in silence. Misa was trying to "subtly" peek at L's cards to see if she had a chance.
"How about you, Ms. peeping tom?" L remarked, turning his cards away before the blonde could see them.
"Um…" she thought for a moment, "I'll bet sixty."
"So you're raising me?"
"…I am?" Light sighed in exasperation; the last thing they needed right now was a showdown from a detective determined to win and someone who had no clue what she was doing. Nevertheless, L threw in a couple more chips.
"In that case, I'll raise you to seventy."
"Well, then, I'll raise you to eighty!"
"I raise you to one hundred. Are we quite done?"
"No! I raise you to…" Misa hesitated. "Light?"
"Yes?"
"Can you remind me again?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know… what beats what."
L bit into a chip from his collection to both ease the cookie withdrawal and to keep from making another scathing remark.
Light sighed for the third time in one hand as he began reciting.
"Two pairs beat a pair."
Misa looked down at her cards, assessing them silently. "…Go on."
"Three of a kind beats two pairs."
"Keep going."
"A straight beats three of a kind."
"Okay…"
"A flush beats a straight."
"Uh-huh…"
"A full house beats a flush."
"Yeah…"
"Four of a kind beats a full house."
"THAT'S THE ONE!" Misa suddenly hollered, drowning out the sound of L's forehead hitting the table in frustration. "I fold. You win, Ms. Amane."
"WHEEEEEE!" she shrieked, hugging all the chips in the center and bringing them towards her. Her smile seemed close to the width Ryuk's, not that anyone at the table could possibly know that.
"Hey, Misa…" Light spoke up.
"Yes, darling?"
"Just out of curiosity, what were your four of a kind?"
"Oh, I didn't have four of a kind; I had a pair."
"What?!" the officers chorused. L merely started lifting his head off the table slightly and dropping it back again, making a thump, thump, thump sound echo through the headquarters.
"Look," the blonde said, holding up her hand so only her boyfriend could see them. "See? Two nines."
Light stared in horror at the goth woman's hand. Meanwhile, she had gone back to counting her new chips. "Misa…?"
"Yeah?"
He held up one of the five cards. "This one is a nine."
"Yep!"
"And this one is a SIX."
Misa looked a bit closer at the cards. "Wow! You're right! How about that; I didn't even have a pair! Isn't that funny?"
"Hysterical…" L muttered, his black hair covering his expression of fury as his head lay still on the table.
"How about another round?" Misa asked, clearly eager to keep playing.
"I'm afraid I have to decline," L said. His voice dangerously even as he rose from his chair to stand in his curved posture the force had come to know.
"Really? Why?"
"I need some cough syrup, a new tray of cookies, and a bandage for my head." The detective stalked off, poor in both money and spirits.
"Oh well. At least the rest of them still want to play!" Misa cheered.
She turned back to the table, but everyone was gone, having sprinted away before a single card could be dealt.
THE END.
A/N: I watched an I Love Lucy episode where she joined her husband in a poker game, and it made me think of Misa and Light.Many of the things the characters say in this fic are from the episode, but it seemed so like them I couldn't take them out! I don't own Death Note or I Love Lucy.