Demoted

"Red alert, red alert! This is NOT a drill. I repeat, this is NOT a drill!" shouted Kirk down the speaker.

"Captain!" Uhura started "You know it's a drill. Why are you convincing the crew that it isn't one?"

"Look." explained Kirk, sounding slightly agitated "If the crew think that they are under attack, then I can separate the cowards from the heroes!"

Uhura saw Spock raise an eyebrow in the corner of her eye.

"Right." Kirk exclaimed, rubbing his hands together in a warming action "Let's see how Scotty's doing."

"Scotty, what's happening at your end?"

"Several members of my section are working themselves up, but I don't like to give names, Captain."

"I see, Scotty, well I won't tell anyone it was you."

"Aye, sir, well it seems that Lieutenant Everon is coping well, without her, the whole ship would have stopped when I left the room!"

"And…" urged on Kirk.

"The rest of Engineering is in a terrible state, Ensign Redweed started cursing!"

"Remind me to send Ensign Redweed on to the next planet we beam down on. Oh, and make sure he's wearing a red shirt."

"Aye sir, Scotty out."

"One thing, Scotty."

"What's that, sir?"

"What is the dimension parallel to compounding the engine's captivity?"

"Can you repeat the question sir?"

"Never mind Scotty, never mind. Kirk out."

Kirk swivelled around towards Spock.

"What is the dimension parallel to compounding the engine's captivity, Spock?"

Spock answered in a flash.

"Relative, Captain. May I enquire as to what use was the question?"

"No, Spock!" snapped Kirk "You may not."

Lieutenant Everon entered the bridge. She wondered why the Captain wanted to see her. She hoped she hadn't done anything wrong. The moment the lift doors parted, a question was shot at her.

"What is the dimension parallel to compounding the engine's captivity?" Kirk questioned.

"Relative, Captain." she started "I have to urgently get back to Engineering, if that's OK with you."

"Yes. I mean No. You see, well, what do you think of Scotty?"

", sir?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Do you think he's a bit too old?"

"Old?"

"Yeah, old."

"No sir."

"Well, over appreciated then?"
"No, sir."

"Ah, you're being modest."

"Modest, sir?"

"Yes, modest. What I'm trying to say is I think Scotty isn't as good as everyone makes out. CV's lie, you know. I'm going to demote him."

"Pardon me, sir?"

"Demote. Now this got me thinking. Who in the world could replace Scotty?"

Everyone could see it coming.

"No, Certainly not." she replied.

"I could always…fire you!" threatened Kirk.

"You wouldn't!" breathed Everon.

"Security, escort Miss.Everon out."

"Ok, ok." Everon gave in "I'll take the stupid promotion."

"Cancel that." Kirk spoke into his communicator..

"I'm WHAT?" shouted Scotty, his face as red as a tomato.

"Demoted, gone down a level, you know." Kirk said plainly.

Kirk had made sure he spoke to Scotty behind a screen, so Scotty couldn't hurt him. Scotty hammered at the screen in rage.

"Wait 'till I get you!" Scotty screeched "Just wait!" Then he calmed down, and said, a little worriedly

"This is just to wind me up…isn't it? You were getting bored."

Kirk shook his head solemnly. He made a mental note to get Spock to deliver bad news from now on. At least Spock didn't have emotions. It couldn't get to him.

Scotty's anger had now melted down into desperation. Kirk almost cursed as Scotty went down on his knees and pleaded.

"Please, it's me life, me livelihood! I live on me job! I survive for it! Take anything else away!" Scotty paused.

"Apart from me Whisky." he added quickly.

"Look Scotty." Kirk started "I found a good replacement. It's all for them. " and because I won't have to pay such a big retirement fee. Kirk reminded himself.

"Who is the replacement?" snapped Scotty "You might as well tell me that!"

"I can't really." Kirk murmured.

"I'll find out sooner or later!" Scotty reminded Kirk.

"Ok, Scotty, you win. I might as well tell you. It's Lieutenant Everon."

"Ha!" Scotty shouted "I'll feed her poisoned whisky, I'll strangle her with me kilt. I'll blow her up with me bagpipes! I'll, I'll…"

Kirk was just about to tell Scotty to calm down, but Scotty had just left in search of Lieutenant Everon.