Urtica dioica
Disclaimer: I no own, you no sue, and especially you no Mary-Sue
Frank smiled complacently. He was stretched out luxuriantly on a gold embroidered couch, a delicate bronze mouthpiece dangling from one ruby taloned hand. Scattered around the room, various brightly clothed humans shifted sleepily, their long hair framing consumptive, androgynous features. Heady haze drifted in lazy air currents from an elaborately decorated hookah standing like a totem to all lotus-eaters (1).
Small bells tingled and beads clicked as one of the assembled humans attempted to stand, "Foo'?" he enquired, trying to focus his gaping pupil's on Frank's face. Frank waved vaguely towards the door, then settled back to watch the warm flickering of the candlelight on the Zenroom's nicotine streaked ceiling.
The dazed male wandered off in the direction of Frank's idle gesture. Slouching into the lift, he fumbled for the button to the top floor.
The elevator shuddered to a halt inside the pink tiled laboratory. The man coughed; the smoke of the Zen room had irritated his throat, making it sore and scratchy. Casting about the room for something to quench his thirst, his eyes settled on a beaker of amber liquid resting on one of the lab benches (2).
Riffraff entered the lab later that night, meaning to clean up and tidy away the equipment, ready for tomorrow's session. His eyes fell on the young human slumped in a pool of amber liquid and broken glass. On one of the shards was the label- 50/50 solution formic acid/ 5-hydroxytrytamine (3). 'Oh shit,' Riffraff thought, 'the master is not going to be happy...'
--- The Next Morning ---
Frank was not happy.
"How could you let this happen! The next batch isn't due for weeks! We could be delayed for months because of your carelessness.
Riffraff watched his master's hand glumly, occasionally flinching as the whip it held gestured towards him.
"With respect Master, it was not I who spilled the solution, it was one of your human associates, perhaps it is he you should be berating."
Frank glowered, but damn it, the man had a point. Reluctantly he lowered the whip, snapping, "And just how would that help?"
"Perhaps... you could try brewing some from the bloody weeds your friends keep harping on about..." Riffraff replied sardonically, "You are meant to be the scientist after all."
Fuming, Frank let go of Riffraff's collar, shoving him back towards a table and stalking out of the lab.
--- The Next Day ---
Rain dripped in gobbets off the trees onto the hunched figure below as it slipped and skidded over the forest mould. Riffraff cursed Frank silently as he staggered through the underbrush. A bramble had already claimed a large portion of his left trouser leg and what felt unpleasantly like a member of the forest fauna was crawling up his back under his jacket. He shivered.
A piece of paper gone fluffy with the wet was fished out of a pocket, and a bony finger traced down the list of names. One left, good. Raising his head, he scanned the area for the plant in question and was pleased to note a large growth of it less than 10 yards away. He could soon be back inside the warmth of the castle. Dragging a sack of assorted vegetable matter behind him, he ambled over to the clump, squatting down to make sure he got a good grasp on the stem.
Riffraff's scream of pain echoed over the castle grounds as Frank stood at the window smirking. Who would have thought that one simple plant would provide both the chemicals he required, and a suitable revenge for his handyman's insolence? He would have to make a note to take some of these nettles back home.
1) Generic term for users of hallucinogenic or depressant recreational drugs- see The Lotue-Eaters by Tennyson.
2) Although the lab benches weren't there in the film, they could have been removed for the guests.
3) Chemicals present in the common nettle, which has many medicinal and other uses
Please R&R to tell me what you think. Con crit and ideas for other fics always welcome. Flames will be used to barbecue Frank Furters.