Authors note: Hey guys! I just finished school and now I'm onto exams! Oh joy... Anyway, I've brought you this lovely piece of thing I pulled out of my brain! It's about a Mary Sue named Moonlight Amethyst Spectra- you know what!? The story will tell! Anyway, this piece is a parody and not meant to be taken seriously. I use a crap-ton of heavy sarcasm throughout the story to imply this. So please sit back and enjoy this tale about a beautiful young girl adventuring through Kanto!
Regardez, sil vous plait!
The sun rose over the small, quaint town of Pallet. The weather was predictably perfect, because I said so. Another one of the many predictable factors was that today a young girl would be choosing her starter. Her house was on the edge of the small village, where she lived alone, since her parents just weren't there for some totally obvious reason. Said girl crawled out of her bed... which she built by herself, along with the rest of her house. I mean, she had to build it own her own since her parents weren't there and it's perfectly legal in the pokemon universe for kids to go and do whatever they want. Her house was physically flawless, since she super talented at building... and at everything else for that matter. Anyway, back to the story, the girl in question arose from her bed. She was super beautiful, with her long, shiny rainbow hair that reached her ankles and beautiful sparkling eyes that could change colour depending on her mood. Not to mention, she also had GINORMOUS boobs, but that's besides the point. The girl's name was Moonlight Amethyst Spectra Rainbow Gold Silver Ruby Sapphire Emerald Diamond Pearl Alpha Omega Element Marianna Susan Dolce Fantasia Luna Beauty Rose Flower Angel Raven Ebony Heart Dream Titania Dental Floss Quartz Savanna Aurora Flitter Twilight Shine Allure May Star Glow Noble Umbra Akuma Princess Aura Wish, but to same everyone from oxygen deprivation, her name was shortened to Moonlight. She dressed herself in beautiful clothes, which, yes, she made and ate breakfast, which she also made (duh). After readying herself for the day, she made her outside, inhaling the beautiful fresh air, and walked to the lab, where Professor Oak was waiting to give her a starter pokemon. She excitedly though to herself, would she choose Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle? She didn't know, since she loved all pokemon and all pokemon loved her! When she finally got to the laboratory, she was greeted by her arrogant rival, who we are supposed to hate because he's mean to her. His name was name was Gary Oak and he was the biggest jerk that Moonlight had ever met. The boy was leaning against the door, blocking her way inside.
"Excuse me," our hero said politely. Gary smirked, "No way! I'm letting a loser like you get a pokemon!" Several bystanders, who just happened to be there, gasped at the rude comment. She was just loved by everyone and she just loved everyone back! Moonlight frowned, "Please let me in," she said, totally not being unlikable, "I'd really like to get my starter. It would be my only friend after my parents... abandoned me." She totally wasn't forcing her angsty, depressing backstory on anyone or anything like that. The bystanders from before started crying in sympathy for her.
"How can you be so cold-hearted?!," one yelled at Gary. He rolled his eyes.
"Yeah right," he scoffed because he is an asshole, "I'm still not letting you through."Just then, his grandfather, who was Professor Oak himself, came outside.
"Gary!," the professor yelled, startling his grandson, "I can't believe you! You should be ashamed of yourself!" After scolding the boy and, yes, beating his own grandson over the head with the newspaper, who he clearly didn't like as much as YOU shouldn't like him, he turned to Moonlight.
"I'm terribly sorry," Oak said kindly, "Come in, my dear. Of course you can have a pokemon." He led the girl inside the lab. Gary followed behind, sulking to himself with an ugly pink lump on his head. They went to a table, with three pokeballs on it.
"Inside of these pokeballs are the three starter pokemon," Professor Oak explained, "You may choose anyone you like." At this point, Moonlight had made up her mind. She picked up the ball containing... Charmander!
"Charmander, I see," Oak nodded, "Good choice." Moonlight's eyes turned a bright pink in happiness. Excited to meet her new, and sadly, only best friend, she opened the ball. A yellow, sparkling charmander popped out and wagged its tail happily.
"Oh my!," the professor exclaimed, "This pokemon is shiny! That is quite rare! Congratulations Miss Moonlight!" The girl smiled as the charmander jumped into her arms."Thank you so much!," she beamed, " I think I'll call him Solaris!"
"Tch," Gary snorted, interrupting her excitement, "My pokemon's going to be way better than yours!" He snatched a ball off the table and tossed it on the ground. A regular squirtle came out. The water creature looked at Gary, then turned its head away in resentment.
"It seems that Squirtle doesn't like you," Oak stated. His grandson gritted his teeth in anger, "Squirtle! Use water gun on that charmander now!" The turtle pokemon, of course ignored him, because everyone hates Gary, right? As the trainer and pokemon argued, Moonlight and Solaris left the lab. Once outside, the girl set her pokemon gently on the grass.
"Okay," she said, "You and I are going to have an awesome adventure!" Solaris nodded enthusiastically. The duo hugged, since they were just the best of friends, and set off for route one because the story needs to go somewhere. Unbeknownst to them, a team rocket grunt was stalking them from afar. This was because she had magical powers to talk to pokemon, and transform into pokemon, and heal pokemon, and use telekinesis, and get free wi-fi, and be super talented at everything, and use her magical singing voice to summon legendary pokemon, and every other power under the sun, and Team Rocket just knew she had these powers because the plot says so. The grunt pulled a walkie-talkie from his belt.
"Boss," he said, "I've found the girl." He continued to remain stationary in his hiding place instead of attacking her because unexplained reasons. But they should be totally obvious to YOU! Anyway back to Moonlight, her and Solaris continued innocently down the path that was there because the author put it there. Viridian City was just up ahead and instead of being productive, we'll just skip ahead. The girl and pokemon arrived in the city, earning the attention from everyone who lays eyes on her. Within seconds, a mobs of people surrounded her, screaming things like "OMG SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL!," and "MARRY ME!," and "SHE HAS A SHINY CHARMANDER OMG SHE'S SO KEWL!" Solaris clung to her leg, as Moonlight began to feel uncomfortable around all these people. Luckily, the crowd dispersed a bit, giving her some space. Suddenly a wave of emotion hit our hero, reminding her of her dark, depressing past.
"I'm sorry!," she cried out to the crowd, totally not being over-dramatic, "I can't be around all of you, even though I would love to!" The crowd gasped, worried that they somehow hurt this poor, innocent angel of a girl. Moonlight put a hand over her mouth as she began to cry.
"I just can't be around the world that has abandoned me!" With that, our hero ran of to a forest because she's deep and mysterious and, oh, did I mention emo? Anyway, she arrived in the heart of the forest and collapsed on her knees, breaking into sobs because she was sad all of the sudden. Solaris wrapped his stubby arms around her to comfort her.
"Oh Solaris," Moonlight whimpered, "I just don't know what to do! I can't be around people, for my complex feeling just won't allow it!"
"Char...," the charmander signed understandingly. The two sat in silence as the trees around them swayed quietly in the breeze. After a while, Moonlight felt better (oh thank God!) and the two headed backed to the city. The crowd had dispersed so luckily there were no pesky humans to deal with. I mean, Moonlight was so deep and emotionally scarred that people were like kryptonite. Anyway, since our hero was a trainer now, her first objective was to collect badges. Luckily, Viridian City had a gym, which the girl and her pokemon found there way over to. Moonlight attempted to open the door which she soon found was locked. Just then, an old lady walked up to her.
"I'm sorry dearie," the elder began, "The gym leader isn't here."
"Oh, that's okay!," Moonlight chirped optimistically, "I can come back when he or she is!" Moonlight had such a positive outlook on people! The old lady, however, didn't want to disappoint the girl.
"Dear," she said worriedly, "I'm so sorry that you couldn't have your battle. You look like such a strong trainer." Moonlight smiled, "Don't worry. I don't mind!" The lady still wasn't convinced, so she presented the girl with a pokeball.
"Here," she said, handing it to our hero, "For you! Make sure you treat it well!" Of course she would. The pokeball opened revealing a shiny victini! How an old lady got a shiny victini is unexplained but she had one, so there!
"Oh my goodness!," Moonlight exclaimed, "Thank you so much!" But the lady had disappeared (she's secretly a ninja, but she's not relevant to the story). The girl looked around, but still didn't see her, even with her magical x-ray vision powers, so thanks to her blissful ignorance and the plot needing to hurry the hell up, Moonlight, Solaris, and the shiny victini, who was given the totally not mary-sue-ish nickname Starglow Victory Light, continued on their exciting, relevant to life journey!
I hope you enjoyed this... stuff. Please leave a review if you feel like it! Constructive criticism is always welcome, just please don't be rude or I'll roll down an escalator... that's going UP!
Anyways, bye!