Disclaimer: I own nothing of course. It's all part of J.K.'s world. Lucky witch.
Author's Note: Okay, so this is the last one-shot in a trilogy. It's actually kind of sad really. I've become attached to Draco and Pansy while writing this. I don't know what I'm going to do now. Probably go back to finishing Forsaken. Which I really need to do. Expect more stories from me in the Potter world. I'd love to do some Rose/Scorpius. I've become so addicted to them!!!
Thanks for sticking with me guys! It means a lot. I hope everyone likes this last installment and like always reviews are always appreciated!;)
Summary: And as he stares at the broken pieces of glass that litter the floor, he wonders if that's how he made Pansy feel. Shattered.
freedom is given to those who need it
one-shot
It is a family decision to move back to Wizarding Britain. One that Pansy isn't too fond of but is ultimately what's best for her family. And Pansy will do anything for her family. So she packs their bags (because Stephen for all his talent is hopeless when it comes to packing…and her two youngest just throw their things in) and thinks about how much she's going to miss Wizarding France.
She'll even miss Muggle France.
This is something that Pansy found a surprise. That she could, for some odd reason, at least respect (even though it is small) Muggles and their creations. Because Paris is still (at least to her) the most beautiful place in the world.
The family decides to keep their small summer house fifteen minutes away from the Eiffel Tower.
And Pansy Cornfoot will always be grateful for that. Because she isn't ready to leave France (her home) behind.
Stephen gets to the new house before her. He takes their youngest son Jacques with him and Pansy is left with their only daughter, Iris. Iris is small and the spitting image of her mother.
The only difference is that Iris is happier than Pansy was at her age.
Iris is crying quietly while Pansy looks around their house and neighborhood one last time.
Pansy hugs her new found friends (who aren't so new found anymore seeing as how she's known them for eleven years) and promises to write and visit.
Some of her friends (like Melanie, but she doesn't really count because she always cries) are crying and wiping away tears.
Pansy activates the Portkey and grips her daughter's hand.
She closes her eyes and when Pansy opens them she's staring outside a window. Instead of looking at France's usual sunny clear sky, she's staring at a dark cloudy rainy day.
Iris lets go and runs up the stairs to find her brother.
Pansy can feel arms wrap around her waist and Stephen rests his head on her shoulder.
"Never thought I'd be back here." Stehpen mused.
"Me either." Pansy replies. She turns around in her husband's arms and hugs him. She doesn't want to see the constantly dreadful weather.
Mostly though, she doesn't want to see her past staring at her.
The first person who informs that Pansy is back (family in tow) is Blaise.
They're sitting in Draco's office talking about business. It's when Blaise is at the door that he turns around. "By the way," the darker wizard says, "did you know that Pansy moved back? Yeah, apparently her husband got a smashing job at the Prophet. Daph told me. She and Asteria saw Pansy with her two youngest kids the other day in Diagon Alley. Didn't Asteria tell you?"
Draco just stared at his old friend and shook his head slowly. He watched the door shut behind him and he leaned back in his chair.
Pansy was back. After eleven years of being gone, she was back. And he didn't even know.
And he remembers back to their youth when she would tell him everything. Things her parents didn't even know about her, he knew.
There were never any secrets between them.
And then they got older and drifted apart.
The sinking feeling in his stomach tells him that it was his fault. That he was the one who pushed her away with the biting words he said to her. That he wasn't there for her when she actually needed him.
But he's still too much of a Malfoy to take all of the blame.
She never tried to contact him either.
And the thought of her hating him scares the shit out him.
(But he won't ever tell anyone that though).
When her eldest son Damien writes to tell her that he made Ravenclaw, Pansy can't even begin to describe the relief she felt.
(Because although she was part of the Slytherin house and proud of it, she doesn't want her son or any of her children to be or even act like she did when she was at school.)
Damien's next letter describes in detail how much he loves Hogwarts and his classes and all of the new friends he's making.
He's having a good time. He loves Hogwarts. And Pansy wants to die a little bit inside because she feels that her eldest son is drifting away from her.
But at the end of the letter he writes; 'Even though I love Hogwarts I still love you guys and home more. No contest.'
And she sniffles and knows that despite all of her flaws her children and husband will love her regardless.
(The thought of someone-let alone three someone's-loving her unconditionally still scares her).
The night that Blaise informs him that Asteria knew that Pansy was back and didn't tell him, he and Asteria get into a fight. A big fight.
He's yelling at her and she's yelling back.
(She threw her favorite vase at him…only to fix it and then throw it again.)
"WHY DO YOU CARE?!" She shrieked at him. "SHE LEFT YOU! SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE YOU!"
"DON'T TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW!" He roars back.
She breathes heavily and shakes her head. "Get over it, Draco." She says, "Pansy Parkinson or Cornfoot or whatever hates you. Understand that?"
She turns around and nearly runs up the stairs. He can hear the door to their bedroom slam shut and Draco is left in the foyer with shattered glass.
And as he stares at the broken pieces of glass that litter the floor, he wonders if that's how he made Pansy feel. Shattered.
She loves watching Stephen write. Hunched over in his chair, writing away. Line after line, page after page.
He once confessed that writing made him free.
And Pansy thought about that. Thought about freedom and what it actually means. And she knows the hate inside of her is huge and engulfing her.
And maybe a little redemption will set her free.
At least that's what Stephen hypothesizes.
And then she realizes how different her life is. How seriously she takes what her husband has to say. How every little thing she does, she has her husband and children on her mind.
How easy it is to be happy.
This of course reinforces the need for her to be free so that she can love and be happy fully. With no restraints.
When Pansy Apparates into his office, Draco almost kneeled over.
He did in fact spit out the Firwhiskey he was drinking.
She scrunches up her nose. "That is disgusting. My nine year old son has more manners than you do."
"What are you doing here?" He blurts out.
She sits down in the chair in front of him. "I'm here for you to explain but mostly I'm here for my freedom."
And the fact that maybe-just maybe-he can be the one that sets her free, makes him feel a little more important.
He talks to her. He explains to her that he was scared. That he just survived a war. That he just saw one of his best friends die. That so many innocent people died for freedom. That he didn't know what he was doing. Where he was going. That he would wake up from nightmares that seemed never-ending.
He explains that he thought he should get rid of his past. That he should start anew. And he tells her that he feels guilty. That sometimes he'll see something or think of something and want to tell her but she's never there.
Mostly though, he apologizes. And he knows that generations of Malfoy's are probably rolling over in their graves but Pansy has always been one of his best friends.
And then they're silent. Not saying anything.
"What do we do now?" He asks her.
She shrugs her shoulders. "Maybe you were right." She sighs. "To want to start anew. To want to get away from me. It's probably one of smartest things you've done. So, here's my proposition; nothing changes."
"What?"
"Be serious Draco, your wife hates me. Your parents are probably counting their blessings that you didn't marry me. We're too different now. I'm different now. My life, in no way, intersects with yours anymore and there's no reason to create more grief in our lives. So we leave it be. All's well that end's well and such."
"You read things by Muggles now?" Draco asks her.
"Per Stephen's request."
And Draco sneers at that. "Husband trying to change you, Parkinson?"
Her eyes narrow into slits. "And this is exactly why we'll never rekindle our friendship. Because you're still a bastard. And I'll have you know, Stephen has never ever tried to change me. He's never left my side, which is more than I can say about yourself."
"All those years of friendship, our promises, our childhood Pans, you're throwing it away?"
She sighs deeply. "We're poison Draco. We poison each other. Just live your life and I'll live mine." Her eyes sweep around the room and her gaze lands on the picture of Scorpius laughing and running. She smiles lightly. "For what it's worth, I forgive you. No sense in keeping a grudge. I do fear it's giving me wrinkles."
With a loud POP she's gone. Out of his office and out of his life.
He stays late in his office that night.
He thinks of his past.
And when he looks at the picture of Scorpius, he wonders what it would be like to have married Pansy. He wonders what their life would have been like. What his life would have been like.
And he wonders if he would be happier married to Pansy.
Then, he looks once more at the picture of his smiling son and gets ready to leave his office.
He also readies himself for the fact that Pansy is, indeed, no longer in his life.
When Pansy gets home she hugs her children, kisses her husband and laughs into the night.
She stretches over the sofa and Stephen looks at her sideways and kisses her softly. Passionately. "Feel better?" He murmurs against her lips.
"Feel free." She murmurs back.
And as she and her husband make their back into their bed and they shut the door behind, Pansy is engulfed in a love that she never thought imaginable.
And it all seems so horribly cliché but there's no other place she'd rather be.
The next time Draco sees Pansy (and actually sees her not just glimpses her) it's at the train station.
He is standing next to Asteria waiting for train. The winter air is cool and bitter.
He hears Pansy's loud laugh and the giggles of a little girl. The chuckle of a younger boy and a hearty guffaw of an older man.
Pansy is rounder in her midsection and Draco knows that she's expecting a fourth addition.
And as the train pulls up and the children start piling out (shouting 'happy christmas's' and 'see you soons' and 'you'll write won't you's?') he sees a rather tall honey blonde haired young boy wave goodbye to his friends and quickly walk towards his family.
It is his mother who he firsts hugs. Arms going around her rounded midsection. He's smiling and Pansy's crying. "Bugger it all, these bloody hormones!" He can hear her cry.
And they're walking past them, the older boy telling them about all of his adventures at Hogwarts, when Draco nods at her and she nods back.
They exist peacefully. But never like they used to.
When Scorpius makes his way towards them, he's smiling at something a bushy redhead said to him. He waves to her and nods at his parents.
And Draco doesn't really know what came over him. He's not good with public displays of affection (or public displays of anything really) but he pulls his son (who he hasn't seen in months) into a hug and is instantly surprised and pleasantly happy when Scorpius doesn't hesitate in grasping him tight.
He pulls away and holds his son by the shoulders. "Why don't you tell me everything, hmm?"
And his son smiles and nods. "Alright."
They walk together out in the snow with Asteria trailing behind them.
(And for the first time in a long time, Draco feels happy.)
Christmas morning, Draco is the first one awake.
He doesn't know what wakes him but he goes downstairs and sees an Owl outside his window. He opens the window, grabs the package in his mouth, feeds him a treat and the owl is on his merry way.
The package is heavy with his name written on it. He opens it up and staring up at him is a black and white Muggle photo.
It's of a young boy with white blonde hair and a young girl with black hair and little pug nose.
Attached to it is a small letter.
A Muggle man (Voltaire if you were the least bit curious) once said that 'Man is free at the moment he wishes to be.' Don't hold onto what we used to be. Hold on to what we'll become. Be free, Draco.
Happy Christmas.
Pansy.
He places the frame of the stilled photo on top of the mantle, between the moving ones.
And to Draco, it's the one that it'll always be his escape.
His past.
Present.
Future.
(And for the first time in a long time, Draco feels free.)
While her children open their presents and yell with happiness Pansy will sometimes look at the black and white Muggle photo of a young boy with white blonde hair and a young girl with black hair and a little pug nose.
And she feels like a little girl again staring at the photo of the two children smiling and laughing.
But it's when she turns to her family. Her kids, her husband…that she feels free enough to soar.
It's taken them some time to get to that point in their lives.
Past the deaths and the war. Past the broken friendships when they can both finally and successfully say; "I'm free."
Sniffles. Thanks guys! To those who reviewed, you're the best! Hope you liked this one. It's the last in the Pansy/Draco triology. There will be more. Don't know when, but not affiliated with this. They'll be different stories.
Reviews are as always appreciated!
Thanks so much!!!!!!
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