It was a late Sunday afternoon, and anxiety filled her whole body as she sat waiting patiently on the toilet. Nervous jitters filled her whole body as she was awaiting the test results of the pregnancy test she just peed on less than a minute ago.
"How many more minutes?" Olivia asked.
"3 more minutes." Said Abby who was getting tired of being asked 'how many more minutes' every 5 seconds.
"Ugh!! I don't think I can wait 3 more minutes". Olivia said getting even more anxious by the minute.
"Well unless you have some magical powers that can speed up time, we're going to be waiting 3 more minutes" Abby said in an attempt to lighten the mood, but failed.
Olivia shot her a look that meant 'Shut the hell up'
"Sorry Liv, it's just, asking me every 5 seconds how many more minutes is not doing anything to make the time go by faster."
"I know, but damn, how would you feel if you knew there was a possibility of you being pregnant with a child?"
"Yeah I guess you're right. So what are you gonna do? Are you gonna get an abortion?"
"I don't know, I… i… honestly have no clue what I would do. Last time I got an abortion, I didn't tell him. But when we had that meeting about jake being Mellies VP, things got kinda awkward so I started to get up and leave and he stopped me and told me he supported my desicion. And I just know in my gut, by the look in his eyes that he knows."
"How do you know for sure he knows?" Abby asked worried that maybe he told her that he found the file on her abortion in her office.
"I don't know. I just do. I know everything there is to know about that man, everything. And the way he looked at me in my eyes and said what he did, it just hit me, and a wave of realization washed over me in that moment and I knew that he knew."
"But he never told you that he knew? You just have a feeling?"
Olivia looked up, kind of alarmed by the question, not knowing what to take from it so she just brushes it off and asks "how many more minutes?"
"None, time is up, you should be able to read the results!" Abby said kind of excited, but more anxious to find out the results.
As Olivia got off the toilet and went over to the counter her breathing became really heavy, and her nerves kicked in. And suddenly she had this knot that was forming in her stomach from the anticipation of what the results might be.
When she got to the counter and turned the pregnancy test over, her face stayed the same. Abby who was standing off to the side couldn't tell anything because Olivia had an amazing poker face.
"Well. What does it say?" Asked an very impatient Abby.
"Liv.. Liiiv… OLIVIA!!" Abby finally had to raise her voice to bring back Olivia from wherever she emotionally went.
"Hu… what??" Olivia said still kind of off in a wonderland state.
"What does it SAY?!?" Abby asked trying not to get annoyed with the way Olivia was acting.
"I'm uh.. uh.. well I'm pregnant." Said Olivia just above a whisper.
"Ummm… okay, well you wanna drink about it?"
"Abby what the hell, I guess you didn't hear me, IM PREGNANT! So know, even if I wanted to drink about it I couldn't."
"Well Liv, what do you wanna do?" Asked Abby feeling bad about her previous question.
"I need to be alone, thank you for doing this with me but I need some time to think this over, I need some time to be alone." Olivia said practically pushing Abby to the front door.
"Lic are you sure, I don't mind staying, you really shouldn't be alone after you've just found out that you're pregnant with the one and only Fitzgerald Thomas Grant The lll's child. This is not news that you have to deal with alone."
"Yes Abby and I appreciate that, but right now I need to be alone, I need to think!"
"Alright well, goodnight I guess." Abby said kind of frowning.
"Goodnight I will call you tomorrow." And with that, Abby left.
About an hour or two later Olivia was sitting still on her couch with nothing on but a muted tv. Trying to decide on her options. Was this her chance. Was this their chance. To get some normal in her life. To finally love the dream that only came alive when they laid their heads on their pillows at night and drifted off to sleep. Was this her chance? Or would she get an abortion and keep it moving. And then it hit her. This is not her decision to make alone. She didn't make this baby alone, so it wasn't just her decision. And next thing she knew was throwing on her Georgetown sweatshirt over her silk pajamas matching shirt and barley what you could call shorts and jumping in her car and driving to Vermont.
It was around 8:30 at night and Olivia had been on the road for a good hour and a half. Vermont was about nine hours away from D.C. So she would be getting there around 5:00 in the morning.
As Olivia passed through New York, and enters the state borders of Vermont her nerves set in. And there it goes again. That tight knot forming in her stomach. She didn't know how he would take the news. Would he be mad? They haven't talked in 3 months since he left for Vermont after his term was up. Has he moved on? Did he even still love her? Once again she chose power over him, so why would he still love her? When he has the chance to move ok and start a like with someone else. As these thoughts flooded her mind, tears started to swell up in her eyes at the thought of him being with another women. Of the thought of him holding another women as they both drifted off to sleep because they were worn out from hours of love making. With him sharing their house, the house he built for THEM with someone else.
Wiping her eyes she looked down at the clock in her car and realized it was 5:30 in the morning and she can't go to his house with this news and wake him up and 5:30. So she pulled into a hotel and checked in. No later than twenty minutes she was lying on her back in her hotel room staring up at the ceiling wondering how he would feel about her being pregnant.
Olivia was suddenly jolted awake but the sound of her phone buzzing in her ear. It was Mellie wondering where her chief of staff was.
"Hello" Olivia answers in a croaky voice.
"Where the hell are you Liv, I need you here. I've got decisions to make and I can't do them alone!" Mellie said in a aggravated tone.
"I'm not coming in today I don't feel good." Which wasn't a lie, she has had morning sickness for the past month.
"You don't feel good? That has never stopped you from coming in before.!."
"Mellie you don't need me this is not a busy day, just sign those papers my secretary is going to send over and then you can spend the rest of the day with Teddy." Olivia said not wanting to get into detail as to why she was not feeling good.
"Fine. Whatever. But I want you here tomorrow. Feeling better or not, i need you here Liv." Mellie said somewhat irritated.
"Sir, yes sir." Olivia replied with a slight chuckle.
"I mean it Liv." Mellie said and then hung up.
After Mellie ended the call Olivia rolled onto her side and looked at the clock and saw it was 9:30 in the morning. She sat there for a few minutes until her dinner decided it was time to make an appearance and come back up her throat. When she was done throwing up what she had for dinner last night she started to wash her face with warm water. And as she looked at herself in the Murrow she realized she was still in her pjs.
So about 20 minutes later she left for target and found a beige crew-neck sweater, and a light pair of blue jeans that hugged her lower body in all the right places, and some short booties.
As she was heading towards Fitz's house, that well known knot that formed in her stomach when she got nervous came back. And all those thoughts about him moving on and not loving her any more, suddenly came back.
As she turned down his driveway, that was it. She lost it. Even though she wasn't crying she was shaking uncontrollably l. As she kept going down his driveway she suddenly thought 'who needs this long of a drive way'. After a few more minutes of driving she had reached his house.
When she got out of the car she just stood there, admiring the house. It's bigger that she removed, even though she has been here before, and she remembers the house she doesn't remember the detail. She knew the house was beautiful, but standing here seeing it again all these years later she just takes in its beauty!
She finally decides to move her feet and walk to the front door. As she walked up the front door the shaking started again, and there came the knot that twisted her stomach 7 ways to Sunday.
She stood there for a few moments before she knocked, and when she did she could barely do it because she was shaking so bad. After a few minutes of standing there the door opened. And he appeared.
"Hi." He said and everything ceased, that know that was just tied in her stomach untied and the uncontrollable shakes that once filled her body suddenly stopped, and all because he said one syllable.
"Hi."