I hate dying. I know that I hate it because I've already died once. The pain doesn't bother me, that's not what hurt the most about dying. What hurt the most was knowing that I was leaving behind my loved ones. And the fact that I'm on a mission that I need to see through. Or so help me- I'll come back again to unleash hell. I'm Milana Rae Shepard, and this is my story.
Prologue
"Shepard."
The Admirals voice pulls me from the haziness of my own mind, forcing me to become more aware. I try to open my mouth to respond, but everything hurts. My left eye is swollen shut, and blood drips down into my already straining right eye. Every breath I take pains me- a pretty good sign that I have cracked and broken ribs. My armor was completely blown off by the blast of a reaper laser, on the run towards the beam. And where my clothes were ripped and torn, I could see my bruised and bloodstained skin. I know that if I saw anyone that I knew, they wouldn't be able to recognize me. As much as my body wants to give up. I can't. Not yet.
"Commander!" Hacketts' stentorian voice rings from my earpiece. I attempt to speak again but gibberish comes out instead. "Nothing is happening." He explains. My mind is now on full alert, but my body isn't following. I know I'm on the verge of shutting down. I struggle to push myself to my feet in a pathetic attempt to walk towards the console. I stagger forward a few steps before plummeting towards the metallic floor again. Slowly, I crawl by the Illusive man's lifeless body. "The crucible is not firing, it must be something on your end." He continues. I can hear the desperation and the fear in his voice, as he speaks to me through the earpiece. Not that I would blame him if he panicked.
Nobody heeded my warnings. Everyone thought I was insane. Well, almost everyone… An image of Garrus, Tali, Liara, Joker and the rest of my crew, flashes through my mind. My heart swells and I choke on a tear-less sob. I know that I'm already dead no matter what. But they still have a chance. A chance that relies on me. I have to keep moving. For them. For my loved ones. I continue to drag my half dead body across the floor, leaving a trail of blood behind me. I grunt as I glance up at the glowing console, fighting to keep my eyes open.
"I don't see…" I manage to squeak out before hissing at the pain and clenching my side. I force myself to reach for the edge of the console so I can hoist myself up. But it's too high… I can't reach. "I'm not sure how to…" I croak before my head falls back down on the cold, hard floor.
"Commander?" Steven's voice becomes softer as my eyelids flutter. A single tear escapes as my eyes close, and I don't have the strength to open them. I get the weird sensation of floating, like, I'm being lifted up. A bright light makes the inside of my lids a bright red.
I hate dying.