I know this one will be a little out there, but I wanted to start taking a more serious route with these stories, while still trying to keep the humor. So this is going to be either 3 or 5 chapters, depending. For all of you who love the smut, wait until the second chapter. XD It won't be the long, detailed ones like the other stories, but I'm sure you'll be rewarded. :D Oh, and don't hate me for this, please? I wuv you all!

Summary: Cloud, meet Jenova. Jenova, Cloud.

"I hate snow. I hate Nibelheim. I hate –" the bitter words were cut off abruptly, followed by a loud yip of shock, and two figures went plunging into the snow. Cloud stood, and shook himself off, teeth chattering from the negative 30-degree winds. Jaz struggled out of the snow, and only shook herself off, looking completely at home amidst the powdery whiteness. He glared at her as he dusted more snow off his jacket and the pack attached to his back, his hands already frozen inside the fleece lined gloves. It was January, and two weeks ago he had finally made it to Lieutenant. Zack also had been promoted, to Lieutenant General. Essentially, the two of them were the three General's official underlings. He snorted at the thought. They had been acting Second in Command since before Cloud had even made it to 1st Class. With his new promotion, had come actual vacation time. So he took it, and decided to go see his mother. As he shoved through another snowdrift, the first houses of Nibelheim coming into view, he snarled silently. What made him decided to come to his mountain home, in the middle of January, knowing it was the time for blizzards, he had no idea.

He tripped over a rock and went sprawling back into the two-foot high snow. Sighing in defeat, he lay there for a moment, knowing that despite how cold he was, he had no danger of hypothermia. The mako burning in his system combined with the chocobo down jacket and thick pants would see he remained toasty. Even as he thought that, he felt his mind start to get sluggish, and he had to fight back a yawn. Shoving himself back to his feet, he shook his head rapidly. Ok, maybe not. He had borrowed a truck to make the visit, only to have the damn vehicle freeze halfway up the road to the town. Not to mention it had gotten stuck in a snowdrift, and Cloud didn't have the energy or patience to try and get it out. Shivering, he trudged along, wishing someone had come with him. Zack and Angeal had taken a vacation for just the two of them, and he really hated them at the moment. They had gone to Gongaga, the tropical hometown of Zack, and after that, they were going to Banora, to visit Angeal's mother. He kicked the snow, scowling. Genesis and Sephiroth told him to go by himself, because they, quoting, "We'll be damned if we're going to freeze our balls off. We love you Cloud, but you're on your own." Bastards.

His hand went automatically to his weapon when Jaz growled, and he looked up, swallowing hard. He hadn't realized he had already passed through the town proper, and was on the outskirts. Standing in the middle of the road, with his mothers house farther down and to the left, were three wolves, the same size as Jaz. All four were growling ferociously, hackles raised as they stared one another down. He knew who would win if it came down to it. Jaz had been battle trained, plus she had Cloud at her side, regardless of whether he was half frozen or not. Just as he made the decision and pulled his sword free, a feminine voice rang out over the howling winds. A voice he would have recognized anywhere.

"Get back here you mangy animals! Do you want to freeze to death? Ifrit! Shiva! Leviathan! Here, NOW!" The wolves started individually at the sounds of their names, and with a long growl directed at them, they turned and loped to the house. Cloud sheathed his sword and started walking, smiling widely when he saw the small figure of his mother on the doorstep, huddled underneath a mound of blankets, peering into the blowing snow trying to see what it had been to make the wolves react like that. She finally saw him, and with a cry of joy, she ran into the snow, but he was faster. He scooped her up, and ran into the house, laughing. Behind them, the four wolves carefully entered, Jaz watching the three warily, and getting the same look in return.

"Oh my baby boy!" Elaine Strife exclaimed, pulling off his goggles, face mask and hood, proceeding to kiss every inch of exposed skin she could. Even though he was blushing, he let her, because when it came to his mom, he could never tell her no.

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"So you hav'ta tell me all 'bout these men of yours," she said, easily bustling around the sprawled forms of the lupines, as they crowded around the large, circular fireplace in the middle of the living room. He watched her with an amused, indulgent smile, his legs crossed and his face in his hand.

"I'm surprised you're not beating da shit outta me right now," he drawled, having reverted to the slight accent he had forcefully burned away when he entered the Academy. He had been teased relentlessly about it, so he had spent what little money he had to take classes to learn how to speak without it. He hadn't talked with his accent for the past three years, and all it took was for him to be around his mother for ten minutes, and it was back again. Though it was nothing like the thick burr she spoke with.

She turned to him, one hand on her hip and the other rapped around the handle of the teapot, her brows drawn together in a frown.

"I thought I taught ya not da speak like that, my boy," she admonished, and he nodded, still grinning.

"Ya did mum, but I've been away from home for a long time," he pointed out, and she sighed, shaking her head. She walked over to the small table he was sitting at, and poured them both cups of tea. Neither spoke as she put the kettle back, idly kicking a furry tail farther away from the fire. The black one, Ifrit he thought his name was, looked at her before lying his head back down on Jaz's side. It hadn't taken them long to become used to one another, considering the three his mother had were her siblings. He winced slightly when she crossed her legs, pinning him with a hard stare.

"Now, tell me all 'bout them," she said sternly, and he shook his head, laughing softly. He had no clue how his mother knew about anyone other then Sephiroth, but she did.

"Genesis…sorta just happn'd," he admitted, his eyes going glazed. Elaine smiled quietly to see it. The first letter she had received after he had gotten with Sephiroth, had been full of starry eyed hope. She had felt trepidation upon hearing that her son had gotten with the General, his idol. After all, the great General Sephiroth himself had taken an interest in her small, young son? What else could she think, except that her Cloud was going to be used, and thrown away. Then the weeks had turned into months, and with every letter and phone call she received, her wariness had dissolved. It became clear that Cloud was head over heels in love with the man, and vice versa. Then the letters had dwindled about the time of his Exam, then stopped all together. While she was sad, it was understandable, because she had known he became a 1st, and they always had more responsibility. Then she had seen all three Generals on television, with their SiC's standing behind them, and all it had taken was the swift glances they had all spread around, to know that somehow, all five men were involved with each other. It was all in those glances. Eyes full of confidence and love, hope and happiness. She grinned to herself as her son rambled on about Genesis, the red head, and Zack and Angeal, the two dark haired ones, though she wasn't sure which was which. Sephiroth was the main content of his words, and she was glad to hear it, injecting only simple questions here and there. She was content to listen, reflecting on how happy her son had become, now that his dreams were fulfilled. And it was all because of a certain Silver General. She would have to make some cookies for her son to take home to him.

They talked well into the night, and it wasn't until the winds had died down along with the snow, that she finally had to call it a night. Cloud smiled as his mother walked over to him, kissing him softly on the cheek and bidding him a goodnight. He hugged her gently, and kissed her back.

"Luv ya mom," he whispered, finding that his throat was oddly thick with emotion. Those three words embodied more then either of them could say. She smiled at him and whispered it back, and he stayed downstairs while she climbed up to her bedroom, staring into the fire with a goofy grin on his face. As much as he loved Midgar, and the people that were there, it was nice being home. Unfortunately, it couldn't last. If his mother had only known what her innocent request would turn into, she would never had made it.

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The next day…

"Who are you?" Cloud whispered softly, his eyes wide with wonder.

Oh my son, the voice whispered in a caress, so sweet in his mind. Set me free. I want to be with you. With all my children.

He stared up at the feminine, blue figure encased inside the glass cylinder, and couldn't think of a single reason why she shouldn't get her wish.

Ok, I know I don't usually put notes at the end of a story, but I just wanted to clear the whole accent thing up. I imagine something like an Irish accent mixed with a southern drawl. I know, sounds weird, but I heard it for the first time today at school, and it was sexier then hell. Ehe..once again, don't kill me for this. It's not quite what it seems. Remember, this is humor. With a dash of horror thrown in. :D