What's left of me

Author: Ghost Whisperer

Summary: (short story)Ethan realizes that Theresa has given him up for good, and reflects on his feelings for her and what he really wants as he drives back home to Gwen.

Ethan Wintrope sighed as he looked back once more at the book café. After seven years of going back and forth between his unfaltering love for the gorgeous Theresa Lopez Fitzgearld Crane, and his wife Gwen, things were finally over. Theresa had finally decided to stop pursuing Ethan, leaving him to his marriage to Gwen. He should have been happy, but all he could feel was a great sense of loss. He loved Theresa and he loved Gwen; but he loved Theresa more. On the other hand, he took his wedding vows very seriously. He wished for the millionth time that things had turned out differently. With one last sigh he climbed in his car and started it, preparing to return home to Gwen, and leaving behind the woman he would always love.

"I have got to get my mind off of Theresa," he said out loud as he backed out of the parking spot. "If I don't, Gwen will kill us both."

After maneuvering his way out of the space and onto the roadway Ethan turned on the radio, hoping it would distract him. The first station he tried had Elvis Presley singing "Love Me Tender", the next station playing Rascal Flats "What hurts the most", finally on the third try he decided to leave the dial alone. The station was concluding an add, so at least it wasn't a love song. But, to his dismay the DJ announced she would be playing the new hit "What's left of me" but for some reason Ethan felt compelled to listen to it

Watch my life pass me by in the rear view mirror, pictures frozen in time are becoming clearer, I don't wanna waste another day stuck in the shadows of my mistakes (yeah)

Ethan could definitely relate to the first line of the song. He was watching his life pass him by in the rear view mirror as he was driving away from Theresa's sweet consistent love. At that moment it seemed every happy memory of he and Theresa flashed through his mind. he had know from the day that he married Gwen that he was making a big mistake but hadn't fully admitted it to himself until right then. He had passed on a life with a beautiful woman that could give him children, and had given him a child as opposed to a jealous she-devil that said she loved him.
Chorus
Cause I want you, and I feel you,
crawling underneath my skin
like a hunger, like a burning,
to find a place I've never been,
Now I'm broken and I'm fading
I'm half the man I thought I would be
but you can have what's left of me

Ethan couldn't get the image of him and Theresa making love out of his head. He had felt something special that night, something he never felt with Gwen. Ethan longed for that feeling again. He had a suspicion it could never be found again unless he was with Theresa. He felt a longing and need for her every time he saw her, and it was hell to pretend otherwise. Now she had given up on him for good and he felt crushed, broken. Would he always feel this way? And if the answer to that was yes, should he fight to keep Theresa's love?

I've been dying inside little by little
no where to go, I'm going out of my mind
in endless circles running from myself
until you gave me a reason for standin' still

Ethan couldn't go home to Gwen with thoughts going over kill with Theresa, so instead he decided just to keep driving around until she was out of his head. He could relate well to the song that was playing and it scared him. It was like this guy had gotten in his head and felt every emotion he had. He did feel like a big part of him was dying with out Theresa. Even though she drove him crazy most of the time, he knew that until he met her, he really was running in circles, living a mundane life, and doing what his parents thought was best for him, instead of living for him. Theresa had showed him how good living life for himself was and for that he would be forever grateful. He wanted to feel that again, not feel smothered, and forced into the life he was living.

Fallin faster barely breathin,
give me something to believe in
tell me its not all in my head
Take what's left of this man,
make me whole once again

Suddenly the thoughts of living without Theresa was more than he could handle. He couldn't just let her go... If he had to see her with another man, it would kill him. He was finally seeing what she was going through seeing him and Gwen together. He knew that Theresa loved him, and he knew she meant what she said about being done with him, but he needed her, needed her to make him whole. How could he be complete without the one thing that he really wanted? Before he realized what he was really doing he had swung a u-turn and was headed back for the book café.

Will you take what's left,
Will you take what's left of me

The Question was would Theresa take what was left of him? Was it too late for Ethan to tell her he loved her and her alone and would divorce Gwen if she would just take him back? There was only one way to find out!