Disclaimer: I don't own Edward (UNFORTUNATELY) or any other character from the Twilight series.
A/N: Hello everybody!! So, I decided to write again this fic because I wasn't happy with it. I couldn't even compare to TUTORING EDWARD CULLEN, then I got a beta (Danielle – Tks a lot for all the help) and started to work again. Hope you enjoy it : )
1. IT CAN'T BE...
Isabella Swan"Bella, I don't want you to come with me"
"You...don't...want me?"
"No."
Those words wouldn't leave my mind, no matter how hard I tried. No, this couldn't be true. I'm probably just dreaming, I MUST be dreaming. He would never leave me. I want to wake up from this nightmare, I want to...
"Bella," my mom called, taking me out of my thoughts. "Haven't you heard the flight attendant, honey? You're supposed to put onyour seat belt, we'll be landing in Nashville soon." Since he left, things hadgotten completely crazy with me. But what was the point in pretending? I wasn't okay, I'd never be okay again. I knew this behavior was killing Charlie. At first he tried to babysit me, but after some time he gave up on me and called my mom, who came all the way from Florida to take me to live with her and Phil in Jacksonville.
I agreed to come because I didn't think that poor Charlie deserved to be around a half dead person. AlsoI wouldn't have to listen to anymore complaints.
I'm not sure how long it had been...how long I had walked around people, until I noticed that we were already out of the plane and that my mom was talking on a cell phone. "Yeah, we weren't solucky, I tried to ask if they'd have another flight to Florida today but they kept saying 'no', I guess our only choice is to spend the night at some hotel and come back tomorrow. I'll call you again as soon as we get settled. Bye Phil. Love you too."
Had the next flight been canceled?
"Mom, what happened?" She looked very surprised by the question. I guess I hadn't talked a lot lately.
"Our next flight was canceled and we're departing only tomorrow, so we're going to spend the night in a hotel. We didn't have too many options but I picked one with an amazing view."
I heard my mom on the shower and decided to go to the balcony. What a unhappy coincidence, the 'amazing view' that my mom mentioned is a forest...I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a forest with the same eyes. I decided just to turn around and get back to the room. Instantly I knew that I wasn't alone. Someone was here in this balcony with me, I wasn't sure if I should turn to look, that was when I felt it...cold fingers around my neck, turning me. And there, standing inches from me, was a real nightmare:
Victoria.
"I finally got you, didn't I? Edward's little princess..."
I stopped breathing. But soon I found myself cold enough to answer with a calm voice.
"Well Victoria, if it's Edward you wanna talk to, as you've already realized, he's not around." Of course he's not around. He didn't want me around.
"Oh, actually I never meant to talk to him, all this time I've been looking for you." She was circling me now. "I've been waiting for my chance and it's here and now. I can finally avenge James' death by killing Edward's mate!"
"You're wrong!" Didn't she know that Edward had left me?
Her eyes were so sharp and red, I could feel the hate through them. Suddenly, she caught me again, then jumped from the balcony and took off towards the forest. She wasn't nearly as gentle as any of the Cullens. She carried me like a doll that you don't like.
As soon as we got there, she let go off me. I knew my chances were null but I had to try, I screamed and ran as fast as I could. Her laugh was loud and cold. "Going somewhere, sweetie?" Her orange hair falling over her shoulders. "Maybe your Edward should be here to watch this, I'm pretty sure he'd enjoy the show that is about to start."
Then, before I even think, she hit me so bad that I fell hard against a big tree. I felt my arms being broken and the pain was even worse than the one I'd felt almost one year ago when James decided I was a toy for him. I could barely breathe as I realized she was draining my blood.
Edward...Edward...Please...Help me...
The voice I suddenly heard was not from the vampire I was expecting. But this didn't stop me from recognizing it: Laurent!
"We have to leave! The big black dog finally caught our scent. He won't fall for the false trail anymore." (A/N: Until that moment, Sam was the only werewolf, the others were still human and he's the one following Victoria and Laurent - who was still alive at that point in New Moon)
"Ugh, damn werewolf!" She complained aloud.
Werewolf? What were they talking about? Am I getting crazy due to the pain or werethe legends I hadheard, about one year ago, not exactly legends?!
"No! We can't just go. I've been waiting for too long to take this one down." She said pointing at me and suddenlyI felt her biting the other side of my neck.
"You already did. Just finish her fast and...Wait! He already smelled the blood at this point. We're leaving right now!" He said taking her away from me.
And then, faster than I could close my eyes, I was alone and I knew I was dying. Edward hadn't come to help me like I imagined. He didn't love me anymore Edward didn't love me. I wanted to die...I was already dying...I didn't care about anything. My only reason for living had said he didn't want me anymore. What was the point?
My pain just got worse and worse and I knew it would bejust a matter of time until everything ended. I just closed my eyes. Then, the pain finally made me scream. I felt my neck burning and not only my neck, but my whole body was being consumed by some kind of fire. It was unbearable, I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed out in agony, I wanted to die fast...
Suddenly, everything made sense. I wouldn't die I was becoming one of them How could I have forgotten how it was supposed to happen? But why would I want to become a vampire and live forever when my forever would be meaningless without Edward? No, I didn't want this!
"Peter...I found her! Come here!" A soft voice said.
After some minutes I heard another voice and felt cold hands touching me. "We were right, Charlotte. The smell of blood and the screams we heard...This girl was obviouslyattacked"
"Yeah, I can still smell the scent...Two of our kind...and a human walking around here."
"What if this human is someone from her family? She won't stop until she finds her."
"Okay, Peter, you take her and I'll stay to leave evidence that she was attacked and killed by a bear or some other wild animal. Don't worry, she won't see me."
I couldn't take it anymore. "Please! Please...make it stop...it's burning!"
Silence was my answer and then I felt like flying around cold arms...
Edward Cullen
Seven months had passed and I couldn't wait anymore. My existence was nothing without Bella. How on earth could I think I'd be able to live without her? I wasn't counting weeks, or days or hours anymore, now I was just trying to make it through each minute. I wanted to call her, to hear her voice, to know if she was fine. Was she missing me? Would she still be in love with me? Would she forgive me if I came back?
Why did I tell Alice to block Bella out of her visions? I wished I could just call her and ask if Bella would accept me back.
NO! What was I thinking? I couldn't come back! I left so she could have a happy and normal human life. I had no right to come back into it. No, I couldn't, I was a monster and she an angel, my angel. I wouldn't damn her existence by imposing my presence. What was my pain, after all, in comparison to her happiness?
But...who am I trying to convince? I can't bear this. I have to go check on her. I need to! Anyway, I already lost track of Victoria so long ago. At this point, I'm pretty sure she is not even close to Forks. Bella is safe there.
That's it! I'm going back to Forks just to see how her life is. If she's feeling at least a bit like I am, then I'll beg her to take me back and my existence will be dedicated to make her happy and I shall never, ever leave her side again.
Forks...How I've missed this place. I've been wandering around the country and none of the places I've been felt so like home like here. Of course this is based on the fact that Bella is here, that this is the place where I chose to be with her.
I had made up my mind about not telling her, at first, that I was here. I'd watch and see how her life was, and, depending on what I saw, I'd let her know I was back. I could already picture her face...Oh, her beautiful face...I'd seen her face every single day, smiling at me, since the moment I left.
I rushed and made my way to her house. I could already inhale her sweet scent, but something was strange...it wasn't strong anymore. It was like she hadn't been here in a long time. But that didn't make sense, where else would she go?
To live with Renee? Of course! She must have moved in with Renee and if that was the case, the meaning was clear. She got over me. She didn't want me anymore. But I wouldn't accept that without knowing all the facts. She is the love of my existence and I'm too selfish a creature to just give up on her like that. I'd look for her even in Florida, if necessary.
I entered her room and saw everything exactly the same way as when I had left. Maybe some clothes weren't there but that'd make sense since she is probably with Renee by now.
I heard someone coming to her room and quickly decided to hide in her closet. I could listen to Charlie's thoughts and maybe catch up on what happened after I left.
He opened the door. Bella, honey. How much I miss you.
Here I am again, just like I've been doing everyday, since you left with Renee.
So I was right, she really is in Florida with her mother.
Why, Bella? Why all this? I'll never forgive that boy for what happened to you. If it weren't for him, you'd still be here with me...still alive!
What?!
Oh God! How unfair is this life...How come a daughter goes BEFORE her father? Why did she have to meet that Cullen? I bet at this time she would be at school, with all her friends, with that Newton kid, being friends with Angela Webber and this wouldn't have happened...You would be here with me and not...Killed by a damn bear...
At that moment the world was over. I couldn't hear any other thoughts. Everything was silence. It was like the universe had stopped or froze, and so did I.
Time passed...hours...maybe days, but I didn't care. Everything else was meaningless, the reason for my existence was gone...forever. There was nothing else keeping me in this world. Bella was killed by a stupid bear and I hadn't been there to save her. It was my fault! Everything that happened to her was my fault. She decided to move in with Renee because of me and was killed because I wasn't there to protect her.
There was no sense in living anymore. I was a monster. Not only in the way that I always thought I was, but also for leaving her. What kind of being was I? The only thing she'd done was love me and I, in retribution, was responsible for her death. I didn't deserve to be in her room. I didn't deserve to be in the same world that she had lived in. My life was over and I knew what to do...
More hours passed until I'd planned a way to finish my existence...
I would go to the Volturi, in Italy. I'd beg them to kill me and if they refused I'd do something to provoke them. I just wasn't sure about what to do to make them furious. The only thing I knew at that moment was that I was NOT going to live without...her.
My decision was made.
I finally broke off my frozen position and left her closet as quickly as possible. I couldn't bear to look at her room, to look at her belongings, to smell the rest of her perfect scent.
I ran through the forest for minutes until I collided with something. Before I even noticed I was being hold by two pairs of strong arms. Jasper and Emmett.
In front of me, I saw sympathetic gold eyes. Alice.
Oh Edward...
"YOU! How could you let this happen? You saw what was coming! How could you not warn me or her?"
At this point I was finally able to listen to thoughts again. I didn't want to, but I had no power to block them out.
What on earth is he talking about? Emmett grimaced, trying to keep me still.
I can't believe he's blaming her for what happened! Edward, if you want to blame someone, this someone should be ME. I was the one who wasn't able to stop attacking her. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have left in the first place. Jasper was trying to say.
"NO," I growled with all my fury, "SHE HAD THE POWER TO AVOID ALL THIS AND SHE DIDN'T!"
"How could I see anything if you made me promise to block Bella from my visions? I don't know what to say, but I never saw her dying!" She cried.
That was it, I couldn't bear to hear her name, I was fighting for my freedom, for the right to end my life, my existence in this world. I felt Jasper's calm energy spreading over me, in seconds all the anger was gone, but there was no other feelings left.
Edward! He started. Alice saw you going to Italy and asking the Volturi to kill you. How could you even think about that? Esme is not even talking since Alice told us about the vision. We came to stop you from doing this. Even Alice herself was dry sobbing all the way from our house to here.
Then I realized, I wasn't fighting to free myself from my brothers. I was frozen. I didn't have to kill myself.
Because I was already dead inside...
A/N: So, what did you think???? REVIEWWW and let me know : )