A/N: So I was pretty mad at Kurt and Rachel after they kicked Santana out. I thought it was harsh. Maybe that's just me. There are probly some errorscuz i wrote this when i was tired. Oh well. Review and tell me what I can do to get better :)
Nowhere Else To Be
Santana forces herself to breathe evenly as she leaves the apartment. She has enough cash, but really no where to go. All she wanted to do was to protect Rachel. It was for her after all. But, no, Kurt and Rachel were blind to the truth. Santana couldn't believe they would kick her out. She blinks tears away and furiously tries to push down the feeling of betrayal and sadness. She'd be damed if she let her already fragile heart break again, and she'd never forgive herself if she lets Brody win. She feels an overwhelming need to talk to someone, to be comforted or held, and Santana is struck by how lonely and lost she really is.
There were only two people in the world who really understood her. And Both were out of her reach.
She doesn't call Brittany, no. That would be innopropriate and Santana isn't ready to be just friends with her yet anyways.
She doesn't call Quinn, because just the sound of her voice would make Santana burst into tears. And Santana is so fucking sick of crying.
Since when did Santana Lopez turn into a soppy puddle of tears anyways? Oh right, since Brittany. Santana wants to be angry at Brittany, but how can she, when everything that's happened is her own damn fault. She's happy for Brittany and Sam, she really is. It just hurts seeing Brittany move on so quickly when Santana has fought for her for years. When she has protected her for years. Since Kindergarden, Santana has protected her and loved her. Santana has loved and protected sweet, kind, innocent Brittany who always chose a boy over her. But Santana always did love things too fucking much anyways.
She would've thought Kurt and Rachel would've been more reasonable, if that was the right word. Especially Rachel, because Santana had been there for her when she thought she was pregnant. But Sanatana won't think about that now, she still has one last thing to do.
It was a stupid idea, but Sanatana had to. If Rachel wouldn't listen to her, perhaps she would listen to him. It would make things easier for her anyways. It was surprisingly easy to convince him to come all the way to New York. After she had explained everything to him, (except the part about Rachel's pregnancy) he had simply replied, "I've got nowhere else to go."
Those words struck something in Santana's heart strings, something deep inside her. We aren't that different, Santana thinks, not really. Any other time she would have puked at that statement, but Santana didn't really have anywhere to go either. Both of them were lost. So that's probably why Santana says what she does next.
"I don't got a place right now either. I got another room, if you want to crash with me for a night after our little rendezvou with the plastic mannequin." He's silent for a long pause, and Santana feels vulnerable for the millionth time today. She digs her nails into the comforter of the bed she's sitting on in her hotel room and hates him for it.
"Ok," is all he says, but Santana can hear the thank you.
In the hours where Santana waits for him, She gives in and calls Quinn. Just as she had predicted, as soon as she hears Quinn's groggy voice answer the phone, her eyes turn into rain clouds. It takes a while for her sobs to die down for Quinn to actually be able to understand her.
Quinn listens to Santana, who through her tears, manages to relay her situation and the events which caused it, including Rachel's pregnancy scare. Quinn doesn't say anything and stays silent as halfway through, Santana's tears dry and becomes angry. There's a pause when she's finished and for a split second Santana wonders if Quinn was even there at all.
"Fucking assholes." It's so unexpected and such an un Quinn-like thing to say and Santana almost laughs. Almost. Quinn tells her Rachel had a point, and Santana can retort, Quinn goes on to say she was in the wrong, kicking her out like that was mega-wrong. She then goes on about how pissed she is that Rachek almost got herself pregnant. It's takes five minutes for both of them to calm down after that rant, and Quinn swears she won't say anything.
Talking to Quinn was easier than breathing. Quinn stays up with her on the phone for three more hours. They talk about everything and anything.
There's something about Quinn that makes all the pain go away, and Santana is free to laugh and smile for real. It's wierd, because ever since Thanksgiving, even after their fight, they became real best friends and closer than they ever had before.
And then there was Mr. Shue's wedding. After their night together Santana had woken up alone and had been so sure they'd wrecked everything, until Quinn sent her a text apologizing. It took a week of awkward texting before it turned into award phone conversations in which sometimes turned into shy confessions of missing each other. During those conversations, Santana would always wonder if it meant anything more to Quinn, because if she was being honest with herself, she couldn't get that night out of her head. But right now, it was as if nothing had changed.
"I miss you Q," Santana interrupts Quinn's sentence about her annoying roommate. She can see Quinn in her mind. She knows Quinn's in the same position as she is. They are both lying on their bed with an arm behind their head while staring at the ceiling. Maybe Quinn's trying to find patterns in it too. Maybe she's also looking for the path that can bring them together.
Where as before there was always an awkward pause when one of them admitted something like that, Quinn replieds instantly, "I miss you too S."
Santana thinks Quinn's the only thing she loves just the right amount in just the right way.
"When you get the chance," Santana begins, but she doesn't know how how to finish.
"I'll come and see you," Quinn states.
"I'd like that," Santana replies, and she's freaked out but just how much she wants to see Quinn. "Thanks Q," she says softly. Nothing in the world prepares her for Quinn's reply.
"I love you too Santana," Quinn's voice is even softer, and Santana's heart flutters for a moment. Before Santana can say anything, Quinn hangs up. They never say goodbye, and that fine with Santana, because she hates goodbyes. In Santana's mind, no bye is ever good so whoever came up with the word goodbye must have never loved anything.
Some time later, she gets a text from him. Santana fixes her makeup, and heads down to meet him. She doesn't know what's going to happen after this, and she bet he doesn't either. Either way, she's Santana fucking Lopez. She's from Lima Heights Adjacents, and she has an... appointment... to make. After all, they've got nowhere else to be. Not yet, at least
~Finn~
