Hi! This is my first multi-chapter criminal minds fic so I hope you like it. This is just a prologue, so the actual chapters are going to be longer with a lot more stuff happening. This fic is definitely Jemily, but it's full of angst and stress as well because that's the only thing I'm any good at writing.
Of course constructive criticism is welcomed, and I would love to hear any feedback you have as it honestly motivates me so much. Thank you. Now I'm going to shut up and let you read.
The sound of someone rolling over next to her pulled Emily from her sleep, the brunette wincing a little as she opened her eyes and her vision was invaded with beams of sunlight. She let out a small groan, which quickly turned into a smile as her gaze landed on the pile of blonde hair that belonged to the person lying next to her. This is definitely her favourite part about them, about what they do, what they are. She doesn't think anything will ever be able to compare with the feeling of waking up with the woman that she loves lying next to her. Even though she's facing away from her Emily knows that she looks as beautiful as she always does and she has that cute little frown on her face that she always has when she sleeps.
It's times like this that Emily can almost pretend that JJ is hers, just hers. The mornings after they've spent the night together, when they've fallen asleep wrapped up in each other's arms and wake up next to each other everything just feels right and it's all that Emily wants but she knows it won't last, it never does. It can't because JJ has another life. She has a husband and two sons and as much as Emily dreams about JJ being fully hers one day she knows that it might not ever happen.
JJ rolling over again distracts Emily from her thoughts, she can see the blonde's face now and she can't stop her smile from growing. Just being around JJ gives Emily this warm feeling and she knows that it's a vomit inducing cliche but JJ really does give her butterflies. She's loved people before, but no one has ever made her feel quite like this and she doesn't think that anyone else ever will. This feels real, and she knows that sounds stupid because they can't even do anything vaguely romantic in public but Emily actually thinks JJ is the one, her one, whatever that means.
Emily had loved JJ for years, and she had spent most of that time accepting that nothing would ever happen until one night about 5 months ago had changed everything. JJ had been fighting with Will and she and Emily had shared a few too many glasses of wine and Emily struggled to remember exactly how it had happened but they had ended up in bed together. The next morning they had talked, and told each other everything. It had been hard for Emily to be honest, she had always found it difficult to tell people about her feelings and admitting the ones she had kept buried for years almost had been almost impossible but she had managed it and she remembered the sinking feeling in her stomach as she realised she had probably fucked everything up. She hadn't though, and when JJ had admitted that she had feelings for Emily too the brunette had felt like she was flying.
That was when they had started this. Emily was never sure how to describe it in her head because it was more than an affair. They were more than a dark secret that no-one could ever know about.
Emily is still looking at JJ when the blonde's eyes flutter open. Emily's dark brown eyes meet JJ's blue ones; sleep hazed but still sparkling.
JJ smiles at the brunette, the sight of her soft pink lips stretching making Emily think about how much she loves kissing them. "Were you watching me sleep again?" JJ says with a giggle, reaching out her hand and grabbing Emily's, interlocking their fingers.
"Not watching," Emily counters, "just observing." She shuffles closer towards JJ, so that their foreheads are almost touching and Emily knows that she could lie here forever and never feel the need to move, this was just her and JJ in their own private world and Emily would never be able to get enough of it. However, she knows that they can't lie there forever, in fact she knows exactly how the rest of the morning is going to go. They will lie together for a while, making small talk and kissing and just being comfortable but at some point one of them is going to notice the time and JJ is going to force herself out of the bed and is going to get dressed. Then they're going to head downstairs and kiss a bit more before JJ says that she really has to leave and then they'll kiss once more and JJ will give her a soft, wistful look as she tells Emily that she loves her before she leaves the house to return to her husband and children. It's how these mornings always go.
Emily won't pretend that she's not jealous, that her hurt doesn't hurt whenever JJ has to leave but she also won't make a big deal out of it because if she does then she risks losing JJ completely and she knows that she wouldn't be able to deal with that. Emily wishes more than anything that JJ and her can be together properly, but until that happens Emily is content with rare nights and stolen kisses because just a little bit of JJ is better than no JJ at all, and she's in so deep that she will take whatever she can get.