I'm a big, big fatty
In a big, big shower
But I do, do feel that
I will never, ever let go of my fat
I'm so proud to be so porky, puffy, greasy, oily
That's me, o yes that's me
I can see my big belly falling in waves of fat
It's all hairy and nice, and I'm so proud of being fat.
It's so very cold outside,
But that in not the way I'm feeling inside,
Guess why, because I'm hairy and fat inside and out
I'm a big, big daddy
In a big, big body,
It's not a big, big thing if you don't met my daughter
But I do, do feel that,
It's a father dream that my skinny daughter,
Will be one day fat like me,
Free like me, fat like me, o ya so free,
Outside it's now raining
And tears are falling from my eyes
Because I know my Sakura will be forever all alone,
Just single, skinny, angry, meanie, because I tell her
Where there is no fat, there is no flavor, no love.
So my daughters get fat,
I have your arms around me, ooooh, and I see you as a little baby
but when I open my eyes
You're all grown-up…..
But whit a flat chest… so get fat, fat…fast
Because under the fat
Lies a happy and free man,
So sexy and hot and dangerous….
As robust man dance and sing in the shower, just a few doors away, Sakura felt like dying of shame. Her father was himself. This was the problem. That was always the problem.
Barely returned from mission, she and her team where sitting relaxed in the living room armchairs. They were dirty, smelly, blood-stained and beyond exhausted. It was one of those missions from which they thought they would never escape alive.
Happy and tired Sakura had brought them home with her. And now she is paying for this mistake in the most humiliating way possible…. her father was singing in the shower so hard that the whole house resounds in his tone-deaf voice.
Naruto began to turn blue because of the laughter that does not let him breathe. Whit tears in his eyes and laughing out loud he overbalances and fell off with the chair.
Kakashi tried to hide under the guise that laugh but his tight eyes betray him. Yamato and Sai where not moving, they were in shock….
Everyone was laughing while Sakura felt the need to kill her own father, in a slow and painful way. She could not believe that he was singing something like this. And that her friends, people who never met her father, could hear something so humiliating for her.
"Dad stop! Stop in right now or I swear I'll break you every stays in your body of fat!"
As her father song could be heard loud and clear from so far, nor did Sakura's scream, a thousand times more powerful, have any problem to stop him from singing.
"What did you say, my pink kitten? Daddy has some more places to rubbed your daddy will come to you my flat pumpkin"
In Sakura's mind the situation could dot get worse. But she was so wrong.
"I can not wait to meet him this man" Naruto said through his tears of laughter.
"Naruto….."
Sakura, with eyes closed, with raised fists and teeth are preparing to strike him in his face and so to set a new record of distance and height. When she had only a few inches from his face, her father enters the room.
Her father, was not a very fat man, but had a big round belly, a huge belly. Tat huge belly was the reasons that only thing he was wearing, a towel around the waist it looks like it was going to blow, to torn to pieces.
Sakura froze.
"You wanted to see me angel?"
"Dad! Not like this, and not in front of my friends!
"Calm down Sakura. They are all men, I have nothing they never seen, or have."
Her face became so red that was overshadowing her pink hair.
"Dad!"
The girl's roar shook the whole city.
"Actually I do not think any of us has so much hair"
His remarks aroused various reactions of the boys. Kakashi claimed not hear, Naruto had his mouth open to the ground, and Yamato began to laugh.
"Men. You get up stairs, and dress up, and you tree shut the fuck up"
All the ninja that she knew originated from big clans and those who came had a exciting and fascinating past .
She had a fat dad and a cold mother who hated her.
While her father was going up the stairs to the bedroom to put some clothes on, her mother enter the hose. She looked at her daughter and friends with coldness
And in the same manner spoke to her daughter who looked at her with love.
"I see you back dirtier than ever. Great, many other things to wash. You also have company. What you seem ashamed by us. Now do not sit there like a scarecrow and bring them a drink."
"Of course mom. Be right back guys."
They smiled and the woman made herself invisible in the house. Just in time for her father to be their only company.
"So much better, now we can talk like between men. So you are the guys in my daughter's team. Is something special about you that I should know?"
"Good afternoon my name is Kakashi and I'm your daughters Sensei. Is a great pleasure to meet you sir"
"You look good enough for her"
On Kakashi's face it could easily be read his perplexity.
"Excuse me but, I did not understand"
"I'm Naruto"
" Sai"
"Yamato"
You heartless bastard, now I'm pretty sure you do not have a heart. You really are a legend my friend. A legend of the pain, evil and blood, and anyone who goes looking for you, meets a silent angel of death. So damn quiet and efficient they do not have time to even blink and they are fucking in the dust. Just look at this field of bodies! Wow! Just look at these guys! Yep, your cuts are becoming more precise and surgical, I think if you put these two hands back to their places on the body both will be joined as if they were not ever cut off. So… master of death, I wonder what you are thinking about at this moment...
The man remained motionless with his face raised to the sky.
Gray clouds moved slowly across the sky, above the face on whit can be read forty years of life devoid of emotion and compassion.
"Leave. Your talk makes me want to kill you."
"I understand that you do not feel like talking now, or ever…."
He smiled…
Beyond the curtain of smoke that rose through he air and the drunken cursing lies my perfect place to think.
Laying back, my muddy boots crossed over the table, I feel so damn lazily that I covered my face with my hat. Next to my feet a ruffled paper awaits the glorious ideas of this grander writer, who has yet to find his story.
I'm so annoyed, because I can't find the words to describe this man's monstrous past. But I suppose they're right when they're saying you gotta meet him to a sliver of a shot to understand the man. But there's only one problem my friends…he has become a legend so he has disappeared from reality. So what's this lost writer supposed to do in order to capture the essence of this man?
I have traveled the world to find the best story ever, but until a few days ago nothing worthwhile. Until this great ninja that decimated vast armies that were sent after him caught my attention. This would be a great story if I were to truly meet this man. He could be hiding, but I say…he's alive. And trust me for this story I'll do anything.
"Bartender …. need another glass here."
"Coming right up. It's about time you ordered something after such a long time sitting on your sorry ass. And take your damn feet off the table, some people eat here too you know?"
"Yah, yah, yah…Hey old man do you know a guy named Hatake Kakashi?"
" Hmm? Kakashi? I know him, what's it to you stranger? You looking' for trouble, cause if you are you picked the wrong person."
"Don't worry; I'm just a lazy writer. And I don't like your tone; trust me you don't want to make me angry."
I heard the doors open behind me, but I didn't bother to turn, I already knew who it was, I knew those damn steps anywhere.
"Here's your man, said the barman, hushed between his scared lips."
Hey Kakashi do you know this guy?
I stretched my arms, put my hat on my head and I turn smiling gently.
"Hey brother, heard you became a hero."
With that uncovered eye he looked shocked at his long lost, crazy little brother, me.
"Tray what are you doing here?"
"Is it a crime to visit my brother? What's wrong Kakashi you look pale?"
"Wait you have a brother, since when? the bartender asked. I knew the White Wolf, he never mentioned having a second son. This mast be a joke.
"So I was the black sheep of the family so what? My brother didn't want to acknowledge me as one of his own. We can not be all heroes like Kakashi now can we?"
"Come with me, said Kakashi as he grabbed my arm throwing me out of the bar. And yes this is just a joke. Forget this guy, I'll handle him."
"Sure thing, Kakashi. I knew your father, he had only one son, and that is you.
I landed on the tips of my feet, catching my hat right before it fell on…something, I don't really want to know that it is.
"I missed you too bro."
"What are you doing here?"
He was tense, spoke briefly and cold, as usual my brother did not betray anything. Even if he knew something, the behavior would not give him away. Therefore with Kakashi, it's hard for me to tell if he lies or no.
"Like I said, I'm just visiting my big brother."
"And I'm supposed to believe you? What are you really after?"
"Perceptive as always, Kakashi. I still hate you bro, don't worry."
Kakashi looked to one side frowning.
"I'm glad you still remember, anyway I heard you've got something interesting in this Konoha of yours."
"Wonder what it could be that would interest you."
"I'm a writer now".
"You're not a writer, you're a killer."
"That proves just how little you know about me brother. I first kill and then write a book about it, so my victims will always live in my art. I hunt the very best, I defeat them and write their legend. After all that's what's left of you after you're gone, wouldn't you agree?"
My brother did not answer, so I smiled.
"So are you here to kill me?"
"Oh I will bro, you know I will, but not yet. Your life, it's still to boring. When you will be happy, so in love, have one little Kakashi, when you will be a damn hero for this country, when your world will seem like paradise then I'll kill you and write a book about my dear brother. So for now I'll be the bad guy, to push you to be the hero."
"Then why are you here?"
"Have you ever heard of Shu H.?"
"No."
"Com'n Kakashi I know you heard of him. You're always one step ahead of everybody else when it comes to information, after all you are Kakashi the Copying Ninja."
Kakashi's eye narrowed even more so.
"Oh Kakashi I can read you like your damn dirty books. Honestly how can you read those things all the time?"
I saw that he had no intention of answering so I continued.
"Are you sure it doesn't ring any bells? Don't you know anything about this Shu guy? You've never heard this name before have you?"
"No…"
"Are you sure? Maybe you don't know who I'm talking about, let me jog up your memory. He had spiky, pink hair with cold eyes like ice, actually no one knows what his eye color was because the last thing they saw was their own blood shoot out of their body, leaving them…speechless. They say he's the fastest and strongest ninja that ever lived and also that he is a father. And here's an interesting thing I heard that his little boy could be hiding here under your rocks. Have you heard of anything like this?
"You're wasting your time, go home."
"Nah, not until I've found what I'm looking for, you know me, I'll go as far as I have to to get it. And whomever stays in my way will be as speechless ah his victims."
A very annoying voice was calling out my brother's name from behind me. When I turned around I don't what shocked me the most his bushy eye brows which seemed to grow endlessly, his perfectly dorky bowl haircut or his full body condom suite that was showing every disgusting inch on his body.
Next to him was this long haired brunet woman with crimson red eyes who was watching us both ignoring the loud guy.
"Kakashi my young rival even if you made yourself a jutsu clone I will still defeat you!"
"Com'n Guy you can see clearly that he is not a clone."
No? Hmm…
He said as he was stroking his imaginary beard and getting closer and closer to my face with his black, large, bush, fluffy eyebrows.
"Aha! I know what you are! You're one of Kakashi's fan! Oh my little lost sheep you picked the wrong inspiration the true youth of life can be found only in me, you should take a look at my pride student, Lee."
"Ignoring him entirely" The woman addressed Kakashi.
"This guy looks awfully like you, who is he?"
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