AN
So I just saw the latest episode of Secret Life and I think it is totally messed up that they killed Ben and Adrian's baby. I was hoping it was a dead twin they didn't know about or the kid was just sick or handicapped. Killing it was a little drastic. Anyway this fic is going to be about Ben and Adrian trying to heal. I hope people will like. Updating may be slow or never happen. Sometimes I run out of steam. I'm going to start as a one shot and see what happens. Sorry if this stinks.
Disclaimer I own nothing. Quite literally; I tried once to just up and leave my house after a fight with my mom with only the stuff I own and I realized that I couldn't take anything but like my ipod. I couldn't even take the clothes I was wearing. It was not cool, so I sucked it up and went and did the dishes. I know stimulating story. I'll get on with the real one now.
Adrian's POV
I wake up with tears streaming down my face and immediately feel my stomach. Nothing, it's as flat and smooth as it was before my pregnancy. It honestly seemed as if as soon as she was out, my body it bounced back to normal. I wonder why I haven't. I look over and see Ben sleeping. Even he seems to be normal again. He gets up in the morning, showers, goes to school, work, comes homes and cooks me food that he has to all but force into me. I don't know why he does it, I don't know why he's still here, and I don't know why he still cares. I certainly don't, I don't care about anything anymore. She's dead and I might as well be too. Sadly though I'm not, I'm not dead and need to figure something out soon, because I'm even driving me crazy. It's different for him though. He only saw pictures of her a screen, held her lifeless body. I carried her inside me. I felt her move. I fed her and housed her. I was suppose to keep her safe until she was ready to join the world, not till she ready to leave the world. She's dead and there is no reason for it. One minute she was moving inside me the next she was dead. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW! What kind of mother doesn't know that?
"Adrian? You okay?" Ben asks turning toward me
"No" I say my voice is weak because I haven't used it since the day she died. It's been at least two weeks since I spoke one word to him.
"Can I do anything for you?" He asks. I want to say raise the dead.
"Tell me how you do it Ben? Tell me how you get out of bed everyday knowing she's not here." I say slightly mad at him. I want him to be drowning like me. I want to stop feeling so alone. I want to feel normal again. "DIDN'T YOU LOVE HER AT ALL? DIDN'T YOU WANT HER? HOW CAN YOU BE LIVING WITHOUT HER? WHY ARE WE LIVING WITHOUT HER?" I scream at him as I start to hit him.
Ben's POV
"Stop!" I say grabbing her arms. We've never done this before. Fight that is, up until this moment we've been relatively happy with each other. I can't do this anymore though. I know she's hurt, but so am I dammit. "HOW CAN YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT? OF COURSE I LOVE HER! I'LL ALWAYS LOVE HER! YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE THAT LOST HER! THE ONLY ONE THAT SCARFICIED! HELL YOU GOT MORE TIME WITH HER THAN I DID! SHE WAS ALREADY GONE WHEN I FINALLY GOT TO HER HOLD! YOU GOT TO FEEL HER LIVE AND GROW IN YOU! AND I KNOW IT'S HARD TO Accept she's gone, but she is Adrian. She is and I just don't know what else to do other than get up and keep and moving." I finished in whisper.
"What if I can't do it?" She asks as she starts to cry "I don't want to do it. It just feels so pointless."
"I know, but we're still her parents and we owe it to her to be the best we can be for who we are at this point in our life." I tell her taking her hand. Then I lean forward and for the first time in weeks she lets me kiss her. It's a quick and simple kiss, but it's full of the pain and love we share with each other.