AN:
So this is the first "rejected' fic I wrote for this fandom. I wrote it right after seeing the whole Flash point thing. I started it in like... late April/early March. I cleaned it up the best I could bit its still kinda basic and might be borderloning on romanticism "love fixes everything"' but i tried to make it clear that he wasn'the 'cured' just more grounded but I also kind of wrote this for personal reasons as well... Anyways hope you enjoy :)
WAWAWA
Barry sat on the porch, staring out into the night. He couldn't process all of the emotions he was feeling at once. The anger, the helplessness, the loneliness. They all carved a deep hole into his chest.
He looked up when he heard the door open. He felt a little more grounded when he saw her. He was still falling through space, the hole on his chest still stung, but he could see straight now, he didn't have tunnel vision.
They sat down and they talked for a while and decided that they would finally, after all these years, explore whatever it was that was between them. Their second first kiss, Barry thought was even better than the first, better than any girl he had ever kissed. That didn't surprise him as much though, no one was like Iris.
When she left to check on her family, he made his decision. He had to go back and save his mom so he could save both of them.
He started running, his feet barely touching the pavement as he gained momentum. The city whirled past him as he ran towards the time hole that had begun forming. He took a large leap into it. Time flew past him as he ran. He was half way through the wormhole, a little further.
Then he heard it.
'Barry come home to me.'
He wasn't sure if that was just in his head, or if he was passing that moment but it stunted him. He stopped, the timeline whirling around him. He turned on his heels and rushed back through the hole in space and time. He didn't stop until he was back inside the house. He couldn't leave Iris and Joe behind.
He came in with the wind, quickly catching the attention of his concerned family.
"Barry?" Joe glanced at his foster son who had collapsed, hands on the wood floors before he fell to lay on his side. He closed his eyes tightly, his breathing laboured as he struggled to compose himself. His friends looked on helplessly for a moment before Iris and Caitlyn approached him.
"What happened?" asked Caitlyn.
"Zoom is gone, what could possibly have happened now?" demanded Joe, throwing his arms up in blatant frustration.
"Nothing," Barry's voice was slightly muffled from his face pressing on the floor. Slowly, he pushed himself up. He left an arm wrapped around himself like an iron vice; it did nothing, but he could pretend for the moment that it soothed the invisible hole in his torso. "I'm fine," he insisted, catching his breath. Iris noticed this and went to pull at his arm gently, thinking he was hurt. Barry held his arm against himself firmly as he brought his lips close to her ear. "Don't." He said quietly.
"Barry, if you're hurt, Caitlyn can help-" she started and Caitlyn perked up upon hearing her name. With his free hand, Barry waved him off. "Barry what's wrong? Iris asked again.
"It's not physical," his breath was laboured against her ear. Her arms came to wrap themselves around him, holding him close to her. 'He's fine' she mouthed to Caitlyn who backed off slightly.
"I think you should go lay down," suggested Iris, concern colouring her tone. "You've had a long night, we all have." she rubbed soothing circles into his back.
"Yeah. I should… I should go to bed," his words stuttering from his lips.
"Is everyone good?" he asked the room. Cisco approached and put a hand on his shoulder.
"We're all fine, dude. Get some rest," he assured him with a small smile. Everyone was a little shaken up but would be fine with some rest. They couldn't speak for the speedster though. All Barry could think about was getting away from prying eyes.
He didn't move, he pressed his face against Iris's neck. Something deep in his bones had him convinced that she would keep him from doing something stupid. She was what would keep him here in this time.
"Barr." her voice was soft like velvet and it grounded him slightly, soothing his feeling of helplessness just a little bit. He would be okay. Maybe not then, maybe not soon, but as long as he had Iris he would be okay one day. He only hummed in response. She turned to their friends and tried to give them each a reassuring glance. "I'm going to take him upstairs."
She had to support him slightly, as it was only then had he realised how tired he truly was. They made their way up the stairs to Barry's room. She sat him down on the bed. A feather light touch pushed the flannel shirt off his shoulders before she leaned down to untie both of his shoes. He followed her lead and slid the flannel off of his arms and stepped out of his sneakers. She treated him carefully, part of her was almost afraid that he could break apart at any moment.
"You need to lay down," was her only response as she ditched his flannel in the hamper. "It's going to be okay Barry," She laid him down and pressed a kiss to each of his cheeks, rubbing his arms gently. She began to withdraw her touch.
"Wait," his fingers gently wrapped around her wrist, just tight enough to stall her, but soft enough for her to break away if she moved away. She hesitated and looked back at him.
"Yeah?" she slid her hand through his grasp so she could hold his hand with hers.
"I came home to you." his words were quiet from the fatigue, he brought their hands to his lips.
"I know, Barry." She murmured. "You should get some sleep." her tone insistent.
"No," he shook his head. "I was seven years into the past but I came home to you,"
Iris's lips formed a frown.
"What do you mean?" she came to sit at his bedside, his hand holding hers firmly.
"If you let go of me I'm afraid I'll do something stupid," he swallowed thickly as the tears welled up in his eyes again. "I'm sorry, but could you stay?" he looked up at her, half his mouth tilted up into a weak smile.
pSmall hands cupped his cheeks, thumbs carefully gliding across his cheek bone
"Barry," she nearly cooed. "I won't let you do anything stupid." She reached down to pull the flats from her feet, letting them fall beside his sneakers.
With a soft tone she eased him out of his jeans, his phone falling from of the left pocket onto the floor alongside the heap of denim. She placed his phone on the charger and picked up his pants while he shyly covered his lower body with the blanket. Iris smiled a little, thinking of the fact that if this had been any other time, she would have teased him for being shy.
"You don't have to clean up after me," he said quietly, all he wanted was to have contact with her again. She ignored his comment and instead moved across the room to his dresser. She quickly did away with the jewelry she was wearing, leaving it all in a pile off to the side. Pulling open a drawer she pulled out one of his shirts.
"Can I borrow this?" she asked, showing him the shirt she had picked up. Part of him wondered if she chose that shirt on purpose or not. He recognised at a piece of his youth. When they were sixteen, they had snuck out to go to a concert together which was something that was very out of character for Barry. She picked out the shirt, telling him that red was definitely his colour. Even though he didn't want any proof that they'd snuck around Iris's father./p
p"Of course," it had taken him a moment to find his words, he still kind of felt like he was lost. He sat up a bit, leaning back on his hands./p
pWith her back to him she pulled her shirt over her head, he pointedly looked away from her half out of respect and half and out of nervousness./p
pShe unhooked her bra and stashed it inside her shirt before pulling Barry's shirt on. When she turned to face him, she was only half surprised to see he wasn't looking at her./p
p"Barry Allen, always the gentlemen," she tried, teasing him slightly before he felt her lips on his cheek. It was too soon for real jokes, this she knew but she hoped to get a smile out of him. Barry watched her form slide into the bed beside him, their chests pressed together and her arm hooked around him, her lips finding the hollow of his throat with ease to leave a light kiss. One arm wrapped around her as the other tangled his fingers carefully into her hair as he grounded himself further with touch./p
p"You protect everyone else," she murmured against his throat, her breath tickling his sensitive skin. "I'll protect you for a little while now," she promised./p
p"I peeked a little bit," he tried to lighten the mood with a joke but mainly it was to distract from him admitting again that he needed help./p
p"You did not." bringing his hand down to her cheek, she pressed her lips to his palm./p
p"Did too." he insisted./p
p"What did you see?" She challenged./p
p"I definitely saw boobs." she felt his lips against his hair./p
p"My back was to you," she could hear the sleep in his voice and hoped he would fall asleep soon. He needed to rest and process the last few days./p
p"I'm just that good, what can I say?" he murmured, his voice growing thicker with sleep as he forced out each word./p
pIris forced herself awake until she felt his breathing level out beneath her, then she allowed herself to fall asleep as well.br /
/p
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pBarry awoke with the Sun, he felt Iris's warmth on his chest. They both had slept so heavily they didn't toss or turn, so she was still carefully laid across his chest. He used his speed to gently shift them so he laid on his side with both of his arms around her without disrupting her too much./p
pA soft humm emitted from her lips and he smiled a little through the tears gliding down his cheeks. Iris pulled back slightly to look at his face./p
p"Good Morning- oh you're crying again." She gave him one quick kiss on the cheek./p
p"Bad dream." His hand came up to wipe his eyes quickly. "Thank you for staging with me," his lips pressed against her forehead while he played with her hair./p
p"Are you always this affectionate?" she asked, her hands rested lightly on his chest as she tried to distract him from whatever nightmare had plagued him./p
p"I can stop." his words were mumbled as his fingers fell from her hair./p
pShe shook her head and her hands and up to cup his cheeks, thumbs running across his cheekbones./p
p"Don't stop if you don't want to, I like it, Barr." She assured him. "Let's get some breakfast okay?" she encouraged but frowned slightly when their eyes met. There was nothing there. His green eyes were dead. She hasn't seen Barry like that in years- not since they were kids./p
p"I'm not hungry, you go ahead." he didn't have any appetite this morning, the thought of eating made him feel almost ill. She didn't fight him right away but instead decided that if he refused lunch as well she would call Caitlyn to see if they had any of the energy bars that they'd invented for Barry./p
pHe still refused to eat a lunch time so Caitlyn got a call at work./p
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pCaitlyn sat at her desk, everything was in order, she hated clutter. Hated it with a passion. She jumped slightly when her cell phone started to vibrate, buzzing on the desk. She frowned when she didn't recognize the number but answered anyways./p
p"Dr. Snow." she answered./p
pIris was downstairs, Barry had gone back to sleep so she felt like she could leave him for a few moments./p
p"Hey Caitlyn this is Iris, do you have a second?" she asked./p
p"Oh hello. Is Barry okay?" concern coloured her tone as she closed the book on her desk./p
p"I've got him. I was just wondering if you guys still had those bars you guys invented for Barry? He's refusing to eat." She would probably feel awkward reaching out to Caitlyn in any other circumstances. She had been around her plenty but she didn't really /know/ her.
Yeah, I think we have some in storage. I can leave a box for you to pick up at the front desk." She stood from her desk and headed to the old breakroom to get the bars from the fridge. "Yeah we definitely have some." She replied then hung up.
pIris headed back upstairs. Barry was speaking, more mumbling in his sleep. He seemed content, which was a relief to her. She sat on the bed and rubbed his arm gently.
"Barry? Honey?" she spoke gently as her hand to move up and shake his shoulder. He shot upright.
"What's wrong are you okay?" he asked, rubbing his eyes quickly.
"Everything is fine,"
"Okay," he nodded, but was awake from the surprise.
"I have to run out and pick up some things," Her hand still moving slowly on his arm. "Joe is at the station and I didn't want you to wake up alone," her lips pulled up in a small smile.
"Thank you," he smiled at her for a moment and she felt the blood fill her cheeks.
"What?"
"I think that shirt suits you." his words brought a smile to her lips.
"I was right about the red," her smile turned to a smirk.
"It just reminds me how much I love you."
"You loved me way back then?" Barry wondered why she sounded so surprised.
"That was when I realised I loved you," he cracked a small smile. "I loved you before that though, you know that." His hand come up to mold itself against her cheek. She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch.
"Barry Allen, you know how to make a girl feel special."
"You should always feel special." He leaned in and closed the space between the lips. "You're Iris West,"
"I have to go, are you alright?" He gave a single nod of his head as a response to her question before she headed out.
When she returned Barry was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands.
"Do you want to be alone?" her voice from the doorway made him glance up at her
"Not if being with you is an option." he gave her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"I brought you some of the STAR labs energy bars. I need you to eat," her voice was soft but stern and he knew better than to argue with her.
He secretly hated them, he thought they tasted like chalk, he could also taste the broken bits of vitamin supplements that were ground into the mix. He knew Caitlyn had worked hard to figure out the exact balance to make them so he didn't complain about the taste.
"Don't you have to work?" he remembered after a moment.
"I took the day off to spend with you,"
"You didn't have to do that. I'm fine on my own," he assured her.
"Yes I did. We have about ten years of cuddling to catch up on." She smiled a little in an attempt to distract him. Barry liked that idea a lot, but it also made him a little nervous. He was waiting, he was waiting for her to ask about the previous night. He laid back against the pillows, closing his eyes lightly.
"That's true." a small laugh escaped his lips. "You want big spoon or little spoon?" he opened his arms to make room, she slid into the bed beside him. A small smile spread across his face as she laid close to his side, her head coming to rest on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her without a second thought.
"How about this?" she let out a content sigh and her warm breath tickled his throat.
"Perfect." he pressed his lips to the top of her head./p
"You can relax, Bar," she murmured, bringing her lips to his neck, leaving a soft kiss. "I know what you're worried about, but I won't ask. Whatever happened last night didn't go through, and you came home to me. You don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to. Not right now." she promised. She didn't want him to keep secrets, but right now he needed to rest. "I'll wait until you're ready."
Barry became visibly more relaxed at her words, he wasn't ready to talk about it. He wasn't sure when he would be.
"Thank you," he replied.
On the nightstand his phone started to beep. He reached over and grabbed it from its spot on the nightstand.
"Looks like someone is robbing a bank," he let out one laugh.
"We do have police," Iris reminded him.
"I'll be back in ten," he told her, kissing her cheek before he sped off to leave the robbers tied up for the cops. It was less than ten minutes before he was back with Iris.
The bed shook when he landed on it, Iris let out a laugh.
"That Has to be a new record," she told him.
"Maybe," he laughed with her. "Not to sound cocky, but why do non-meta humans even try to rob places with me here?" he laughed.
"How are you feeling?" her hand rubbing his arm softly.
"I don't know. I'm kind of numb now," he admitted. "But that's better than last night." he turned over to bury himself in her chest. Her hands stroked his hair silently.
"I was going to save my mom and ruin everything," he said quietly. "I almost did it too. I almost changed the timeline. You pulled me back though,"
"Thank you for coming home to me," she said softly, kissing the top of his head. "We're going to get through this together."
It took a long time, but eventually Barry could breathe again. He still has bad nights, those would always be a part of him. The ones where he awoke prematurely with his heart racing out of his chest and his face wet from both tears and sweat. Iris was always there though. He always had her to hold close until he came back to reality.
WAWAWA
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end note: 100% considering giveing up on this platform. Everytime I post something goes wrong and I honestly don't have that problem anywherenelse I post. The previous version of this didnt show ANY issues in any version of the doc. NONE but the moment I publish it it has all this random coding? wtf.
