A/N: So this story was inspired by all those memory stories that are written about Chuck and made me think, what if this happened to Sarah? I hope this is different and that you enjoy it. A huge thank you to everyone who encouraged me to go with this idea but especially to Wepdiggy, Sm93starbuck and kayla101blue who went above and beyond. Again hope you enjoy it as this is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic.
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Sarah opened her eyes. She felt groggy and confused as if her mind was only half awake. On top of that her whole body ached and felt stiff. She looked around and didn't recognize her surroundings. Where was she?
"Agent Walker," a man's voice called. "Can you hear me Agent Walker?"
Her mind becoming a little clearer allowed her to now recognize the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor in the background and she realized that she must be in a hospital room.
"Agent Walker, can you hear me?" the man repeated.
She now looked at the man, he was an older fellow who was wearing a white coat and held a clipboard in his hand. He must be the doctor. Sarah tried to respond but her mouth was dry and no words would come so she just nodded.
"My name is Dr. Barns, I have been overseeing your recovery for the past few weeks," the doctor explained. "You were injured on a mission and your body took a tremendous amount damage that required special care."
What had happened? Sarah struggled to remember but only a cloudy fog filled her mind. She tried again but instead of memories she was met with a headache causing her hand to fly to forehead.
"Please Agent Walker, try to relax. As I stated before you were severely injured and we had to use a special treatment to help you. Additionally you've been in a medically induced coma for a week and we've just brought you out." He poured a cup of water and put a straw in it. "Here," he said handing her the cup. "Take this and drink, but only take small sips."
Sarah took the cup in her hand and did as he asked, her parched mouth immediately feeling better as soon as the water hit her lips. "Why was an induced coma necessary?" she croaked. She used her other hand to feel around her head but there were no signs that she had a head trauma much less needed brain surgery.
"To give your body the rest it needed," the doctor repeated. "In time everything will be explained to you Agent Walker, but right now I am going to ask you a few questions in order to better assess the status of your recovery; is that alright?"
Sarah nodded. She knew the routine; if an agent was injured the CIA wanted an immediate report on the damage done and an assessment of how long it would be before that agent could go back into the field, if ever.
"First off, how are you feeling?"
Sarah assessed her own state before answering. "My body feels stiff but I assume that is to be expected if I've been out for a week."
"Any pain? Aches, tremors—"
Sarah shook her head, "No, other than a few sore muscles I feel fine."
The doctor looked at her as if to assess whether or not she was telling the truth. More than once agents have been known to lie about the extent of their injuries in general due to their high pain tolerance and more specifically in order to get back faster to an assignment. Knowing this, however, the agency makes an injured agent go through a series of tests and assessments before being cleared so Sarah figured it was easiest just to stick with the truth. After jotting a few notes down the doctor continued.
"Is the soreness anywhere specific?" he asked without looking up.
"No, it is just a general soreness although some areas feel bruised. My upper arms and parts of my legs feel more tender as well."
"Any internal pain?" he continued.
Sarah replied no again and the doctor stated this was good news. The doctor continued writing notes downs. He then looked up and paused before saying, "What about your head?"
Sarah examined his face. Before when he was asking her questions his features were the normal composed and static expressions of a doctor. However, once he asked that question his eyes seems to light up more and the muscles in his face seem to tighten a little as if he was trying harder to control his expression. Although most people wouldn't notice the change, Sarah did and she knew that this must be a question pertaining directly to her injury and whatever had happened.
"No serious pain. I do have a slight headache and my memory seems blurry. When I try to remember I get a sharp pain in my head." Sarah explained as she focused on the doctor again for any hints or signs about her state. His immediate response surprised her.
"That is to be expected. Currently you are on a medication that -in simple terms- affects your memory. The real question is how much of your memory is affected."
"Why am I on this medication?" Sarah asked cautiously. She was getting more and more alarmed by the vagueness of the doctor's explanations and wondering how severe this situation actually was.
"Agent Walker please—"
Then a thought dawned on her and Sarah couldn't believe she had been so careless. "I want to see your papers," she demanded.
The doctor sighed. CIA certified doctors were required to carry certain paperwork that proved their actual affiliation with the government agency.
Sarah looked at the papers the doctor handed to her. John Barns. Age 47. His medical credentials were there and she noticed that the doctor specialized in neurology. She then saw the CIA seal and accepted that the doctor's certification was authentic. She handed them back to him and then nodded for him to continue.
"As I stated earlier, everything will be explained to you but right now we have to focus on fully determining the extent of your injuries and how far along you are in recovery," the doctor paused to look at Sarah as if waiting for her permission to continue. She gave a slight nod signifying that she understood.
"Alright, I am going to list off missions and events that occurred in descending order and you tell me if you remember or recognize anything. This might cause a headache due to the medication but I'll try to make this process as quick as possible and give you something afterwards to relieve any pain."
Sarah took a deep breath in and out trying to clear her mind of the fog before signaling to the doctor she was ready.
"Okay, let's begin. Do you remember a mission involving the Ring and Julian Collins?"
Sarah tried to recall anything but nothing came to mind.
"How about a New York infiltration mission in Queens?"
"No."
"How about Ted Roark and Orion?" Sarah said no again. None of this was familiar and it might as well have been about someone else's life.
"Ned Rhyerson…Malena Bernal…Mr. Colt…Sasha Banicheck…Jill Roberts," the doctor continued listing off names but they might as well been random numbers.
Sarah didn't recognize any of those people but she didn't get a good feeling when hearing any of them, especially the last one. Her head was now starting to her hurt from trying to remember and she rubbed her temples.
"What about Fulcrum in general?"
Sarah was confused by the name and felt even more like an outsider.
The doctor paused as if a thought just occurred to him. "Agent Walker, do you even know what the Intersect is?" he asked carefully.
Sarah shook her head. The doctor was looking at her in awe and then nodded slowly before writing this down on his clipboard, making it obvious to Sarah that she should apparently know what the doctor is talking about.
"What is the Intersect?" she asked tentatively.
The doctor hesitated before answering, "The Intersect project is the mission you are currently assigned to."
Sarah thought for a moment for a moment before continuing. "How long have I been on this mission?" Sarah asked hoping for some flicker of recognition is be sparked. The concept of time seemed nonexistent to her and Sarah realized that she didn't even know the point in time she is at now.
"You've been on the project for a little over two years. " The doctor looked at her with a sense of sadness, "You started in 2007, it is now 2010."
Sarah nodded numbly as if this all made sense but it didn't. She didn't remember anything to do with an Intersect or all of those missions it entailed. She had no recollection of at least two years of her life, maybe more, and that caused a sense of panic to flood through her. Sarah felt lost and not in control, two emotions an agent, especially one like her, hated to feel.
Sensing her discomfort the doctor decided to move on. "Before the Intersect you had many missions in Europe," he said looking a list of what must have been her records from the CIA. "Do you remember a mission in Spain dealing with a man named Luis Vega?"
Sarah shook her head, "No."
The doctor continued on the list. "A raid in Russia…a information interception in Poland—"
Sarah tried to think but her headache was starting to become painful. All of the sudden Sarah gasped. "I remember," she said eagerly looking at the doctor.
"There was a mission in Budapest; I think it was a consulate dinner." Although the details were a bit fuzzy Sarah felt a surge of relief that she finally remembered something.
"Hungary…Hungary," the doctor said as he scanned the list. "Here, you had a mission there in which you were required to attend an official dinner. The mission took place in 2004,"
Six years ago, Sarah was missing six years of her life right now. She didn't understand why she needed this medicine and frankly she didn't care, she wanted to be back in control. Sarah realized the doctor had been talking to her the whole time but she hadn't heard a word.
"…so I'll take note of this and from there we'll decide how to proceed—"
"Take me off the medication," Sarah said quickly.
"Agent Wa—" the doctor started but was interrupted again.
"You said the memories will come back without the drugs so take me off of them so I can recover them. The only thing that is bothering me is my head and it seems that the only cause of this is the medicine so again take me off," she demanded.
The doctor shook his head, "I'm sorry Agent Walker we cannot do that. First of all it is too dangerous. You know when some one drinks too much of a certain alcohol causing them to be sick and then after that incident just the thought, the mere memory of that liquor makes them feel sick?"
Sarah thought this was the strangest analogy she had ever heard but she nodded, "Yes."
"Well your body went through a great amount of trauma and through blocking your memories we are just being careful," the doctor explained.
"So you gave me an amount that is able to block a range of 6 years from my memory," Sarah asked incredulously.
This for some reason caused the doctor to give a small smile. "Yes," he said simply. Then changing the subject he added. "Even if I wanted to oblige your wishes I cannot as you do not have the final authorization on health decisions concerning you."
"What?" Sarah now troubled.
"When a patient has injuries that include mental ones, the final say in a medical decision goes to whoever you put down, in your case it is Chuck," the doctor said seemingly knowing this person.
"Chuck?" The name didn't sound familiar to her at all. "Does he have a full name or it just Chuck?" she added shortly her patience now wearing thin. Perhaps she would recognize the name from the agency or have some clue to who this person is.
The doctor looked through some notes. "Ah, here it is. His full name is Charles Irving Bartowski. I believe this man is your boyfriend, perhaps even fiancé," the doctor stated.
Sarah's eyes bulged and her mouth was agape, "Excuse me," she said slowly not believing she heard correctly.
The look on Sarah's face probably told the doctor than perhaps he shouldn't have stated that last part but he continued, "Yes, a lot has happened over the years and we are working hard to get you back to your current life." The doctor paused looking at her, "Agent Walker—" he stated now seeming alarmed.
Fiancé. Fiancé. That idea was so foreign to Sarah that she didn't even know how to wrap her mind around it. Was this a real engagement? A cover? In the midst of her thoughts she became dimly aware that the doctor was calling her name, "Hmm?" she responded.
"I can see that you've had a long day and you've had a lot to take in. You have many visitors that have been waiting to see you so perhaps tomorrow you can see one of them." At the fear starting to creep into her eyes the doctor quickly reassured her, "Don't worry as your visitor will be someone you are already familiar with."
Sarah started to protest, she wanted to know everything and it was her right to know whom this man was and what was really going on. However the doctor cut her off as he walked over to her IV stand.
"Just relax Agent Walker," he said as in inserted some medication into her IV. "You need rest, you've been through a lot."
Immediately she started feeling the effects of the drug and the lull of sleep was beckoning her. Sarah knew there was something the doctor wasn't telling her and her last thought before the darkness took hold was maybe it was better that she didn't remember.
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A/N: Thank you for reading this and please review to let me know you're thoughts. I mean you know you want to, you can't deny it so make both of us happy, well me ecstatic, and do so. Coming up next we have a visit from an old friend, who could it be!?