AN: Updated version! It's been a while since I've been able to write anything but now that I've got a few more chapters to add I decided to read over and edit everything I have so far. I don't have a beta so this was a bit of a task, but I enjoyed re familiarising myself with my versions of the Marauders. I hope you enjoy them too.

Warnings: This is M/M with eventual smut and everything else you would expect from a Wolfstar fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own HP or the characters.

Prologue – 1994

First Impressions: dark; cold; damp and musty, but the cave would have to do for now, and besides he was used to it, and he'd had a lot worse. At least he wouldn't get cold he thought, as the hippogriff curled a protective wing around him. He was already drifting off into the blissful land of sleep, his aching and overtired body finally relaxing into the soft feathers. He had a lot to figure out, but it would have to wait until morning.

By the light of day the depressing cave seemed no different than the night before, but before he could even begin to think, Sirius would need to find something to eat.

"You hungry?" He asked his feathered companion.

Buckbeak stomped his foot and dipped his head in the affirmative.

"Right then, breakfast for two it is then."

The wizard looked around the cave. Their options seemed rather limited: rats, bats and a weird mushroom protruding from some funky looking rocks seemed to be their only options. At the back of the cave Sirius did find some fresh running water trickling in through a small gap in the wall, so at least that was something.

"Buckbeak," he called to his companion, "you think you can find us anything better?"

With a bow and a flap of his wings the great beast took to the air and left the cave, leaving Sirius suddenly very alone in the dark, with nothing but his own dark thoughts for company. He shivered, not entirely from the cold. His mind was suddenly heavy as he tried to reign in and make sense of them all. Peter; Harry; Remus; it was just all too much. He couldn't make sense of anything anymore and images of the previous day had begun flashing before his eyes all at once, causing him to stumble and trip over a loose rock.

Focus He told himself, screwing his eyes shut and not even bothering to pick himself up off the ground. This ridiculous situation he now found himself in was just one giant fucked up mess, and to top it all off it had been for nothing, because the rat had gotten away! Anger flared in his chest at the thought of that wormy traitor. All this time he'd had one goal: Avenge James and Lily, and he had failed them, again.

Sirius thought of Harry, so like his father it had been almost too painful to see him in the flesh. He couldn't fail them, not this time, and right there and then in that miserable cave Sirius vowed that he would do whatever it took to protect James and Lily's son, his godson. He had wanted to offer Harry a home, to be a family, but that was no longer an option. Where he was supposed to go from here he really had no clue, but one thing he knew for certain: he would be there for Harry no matter what the cost.

In the oppressive silence Sirius laughed bitterly at the irony of it all. How could he be there for someone else when he could hardly take care of himself? Who would put their trust in him? He had failed his friends and he had hurt the people he had loved the most. Yet there was the smallest glimmer of hope, because after all this time Remus had welcomed him with open arms, and for those few brief moments Sirius had felt lighter than he could ever remember.

Sweet Remus Lupin, the years had not been kind to the werewolf. The once handsome boy was now worn and haggard from his condition. Sirius closed his eyes again and pictured the boy he once knew, with his sandy blonde hair and bright eyes. They had discovered everything together, Remus and he. Yes James had been Sirius' best friend, but Remus had been his first love. He had been his only love. There was no way Remus could ever love him now though, not after everything he'd done. As Sirius sat in that damp cold cave waiting for Buckbeak to return he let his mind wander back to when they had met; when they had been young and free and had had no idea of what lay ahead of them.