DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN UNDERTALE NOR THE CHARACTERS, NOT EVEN THE IDEA!
This was requested by Barbacar, "It would be about Muffet in the forest. She'd need some wood to renovate her bakery, so she'd be cheerfully cutting down trees with a chainsaw. Throughout the story, a big, tremendously fat purple cigar made of spiders and webbing is in her mouth."
I had fun writing it, but the ending just sorta... comes outta nowhere... So sorry.
It had finally happened.
They were free.
Of the red tape, that is.
It had taken a few, stressful, years after the barrier had broken, but King Asgore had finally negotiated for the right to open up monster owned businesses on the land that they were given.
And Muffet couldn't be any more thrilled.
All she had to do to get her bakery up and running was fill out a form, pay, and move into one of the buildings that the humans had constructed to house the newly freed monsters all those years ago. The arachnid-like monster was excited to start a new, professional business instead of the bake sale she had Underground.
That was, until, she saw the building.
Much like many of the pop-up, prefabricated, houses that were built within those first few years of freedom, the building she received looked borderline condemned. She had a feeling that if this building was in the human society then it would be considered so.
It was modest in size and had the possibility of being something great, but that was hard to tell when it looked like a stiff wind could knock it over.
Muffet found herself apprehensive to even allow any of her spiders to look around, the building was that derelict. But she needed to know what was salvageable and what needed to be renovated.
It took roughly four, almost five, hours to carefully inspect the place.
With the help from her spiders it was found that while the base, frame, plumbing, and wiring was in brilliant shape, it was the wood floor, roof, and…..everything else that needed replacing. So the aspiring baker decided to go out and order the materials she needed the next day.
How hard could that be?
Pretty hard, she realized.
Humans could be so unreasonable.
And discriminatory.
And hateful.
And stingy.
She had been to three different places that sold what she needed, and called five, but each and everyone one of them refused to sell her anything at the prices that the humans bought them at. They kept raising the prices to ridiculous levels, and that's coming from someone who once sold Spider Donuts for 9,999G!
And sure, she had gold, but the amount that these….these…..gold diggers were asking would push her to bankruptcy before she even bought an oven!
It was frustrating and she was so close to setting her pet lose on them.
But that would be bad for business.
After a few days of pointless negotiating and haggling over prices for wood Muffet came up with an idea.
She'd get her own wood, for free.
Ahuhuhuhu…
The land that the monsters were given by the humans was theirs to do with what the will, and Asgore was a generous King. Because there were so few monsters, a few hundred, there was quite a bit of land that was uninhabited. Land that was full of trees that could provide more than enough wood.
About two weeks after she had first seen her would-be bakery, Muffet set out to the forest behind her new shop, two chainsaws in hand. The reason she had taken so long to start collecting wood was because she had decided that for this outing that she would dress up to look the part, sort of. Just because she was doing menial labour didn't have to mean she couldn't look cute while doing it.
She had spent a few days making her outfit. It was was pretty different from her usual wears, but she found she rather liked it. Her shirt was red and plaid, like a human lumberjack might wear, and rather form fitting and her bows had the same pattern. Her shirt was tucked into a pair of jean-like shorts, without suspends, and she had on a pair of cute, light tan, combat boots.
To complete the ensemble she had a fat, dark purple cigar made of her webs and spiders clenched between her fangs.
The spider monster was accompanied by a few of her spiders and her pet as they made their way into the trees.
After a few minutes of walking the group stopped in front of a tree that Muffet deemed would provide quite a bit.
With cigar lit she used her two free hands, that she had shoved into her short's pockets, to rev up the chainsaws. She made short work of the tree, and several others after it, as she hummed a jaunty tune. Once the tree's hit the floor, with the help of her pet, her spider's proceeded to cut off the protruding branches with two-man saws.
If any humans stumbled upon such a bizarre scene consisting of an anthropomorphic spider dressed as a lumberjack humming jazz tunes, spiders wielding saws, and a giant muffin-like spider it's almost a guarantee that they would of checked themselves into an insane asylum.
Good thing no humans were wandering the forest at that time then.
If you see and spelling or grammar mistakes please tell me! I have no beta and am not perfect! If you can come up with a better ending that would be awesome!
And if you have a request or advice that would be great!