Warnings: Slash (RL/SB) – If you don't know that that is, Wikipedia is a lovely resource though I wouldn't try referencing it on a research paper if I were you. Wikipedia that is - if you reference slash on a research paper, I would love to see it!
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to anything. Sigh.
Notes: Thanks to Oony, Werewolfsfan, and Jayded for beta-ing.
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The Secret Writings of Remus Lupin
By Rekahneko
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"Why did I agree to this anyhow," mumbled Remus Lupin as he massaged his temples. The twenty year old was sitting at a battered desk, pen poised above a sheaf of papers. The writing table was also host to three half-empty mugs of tea, several stacks of books, and the remains of what looked to have been a chocolate biscuit. "I just can't do this any longer," the werewolf sighed unhappily.
"What can't you do any longer?"
"Sirius!" Remus whipped around, eyes wide. He tried unsuccessfully to hide his documents underneath a nearby stack of books. "I didn't hear you get home."
"I've been standing here for a bit, listening to you muttering about how you just can't do it any longer." Sirius was leaning casually against the wall connecting the study to the rest of their shared flat. His arms were crossed over his chest and an eyebrow was raised, giving his face a wry, amused countenance. Though he seemed relaxed, Remus could tell he wasn't. Not much at all if the tightness of his mouth was anything to go by.
"Oh. Well. You know how I get, muttering and all." Remus pushed his writing a bit farther under the books.
Sirius narrowed his eyes, saying slowly, "And what is it that you are working on that has gotten you into such a state? What is it that you just can't take anymore?"
"Nothing much. Just some stuff," Remus replied evasively.
"Why aren't you telling me?" Sirius had left his position against the wall and walked towards Remus' desk, never tearing his hard gaze from his friend's nervous one.
"I don't want you to know," Remus answered before he realized what he had said. He reflexively put his hands over the exposed bits of writing still peeking out from underneath the stack of books.
"And why is that, do you think?" His friend's voice had a sharp edge to it that was normally only directed toward family and those who had been in Slytherin House at Hogwarts. It must have been a particularly bad day at work for him to take his temper out on something random like this.
"Just… please, Padfoot. Don't look at it." Remus knew Sirius was like a dog with a bone when he wanted to find something out. It was one of the things that made him such a good auror and such an annoyingly nosey flat mate.
For a moment Remus thought Sirius was going to back down, but just as he relaxed, the dark-haired man snatched the papers from their hiding place.
"Sirius! Give those back!" Remus leaped from his chair to try and retrieve the stolen items but he wasn't nearly tall enough. "If you don't give those back, I'll…" He trailed off as he caught his roommate's dark expression. It almost looked like Sirius was going to pull a wand on him, but of course that would never happen. They were best friends, after all.
"Padfoot?"
"What is so vital that you have to hide it from your best friend, hmm?" Sirius looked like he was about to yell, but instead his voice was tight like a coiled spring.
Backing up, Remus suddenly felt guilty that he had hidden things from someone so important to him. In these dark times, it was important to share and trust, even if he didn't really want to. He sat down suddenly. "Go ahead then. But don't say I didn't warn you."
Sirius, eyes still narrowed, somehow managed to be looking both at the papers and at Remus, who was cringing at the messy desk.
The black-haired man read for a moment, tilted his head to the side in confusion, shuffled the papers, and then read for a bit longer. When a smile finally started to appear on his friend's face, Remus put his head in his hands. "Oh, Merlin. Here it comes."
Soon Sirius was chuckling. "This stuff is amazing, Moony. Never knew you had it in you."
"Shut up, just shut up," the werewolf muttered.
"Oh ho! This part is great, shall I read it?" Sirius was laughing outright now; his earlier dark temper seemingly vanished.
"Gods no, don't read it out loud, please?"
Sirius cleared his throat, preparing himself for an oratory performance. "As she met his searing gaze, Marielle swooned, falling into his open arms. 'Oh my sweet darling,' she breathed." Sirius had added a shrill, high-pitched tone to his voice for the character. "'You saved me from those frightening, evil pirates. However can I repay your heroic bravery?' In a low, ruggedly sexy voice, the count answered, 'I can think of one way.'"
Remus groaned from underneath his arms, even while he appreciated his roommate's attempt at imitating the supposedly rugged and sexy voice of the count.
Laughing, Sirius continued to scan the page. "Good gracious. He saves her virtue from the pirates and she turns around and hands it right over after a couple of cheesy pick-up lines. If only it were that easy all the time, yeah?"
Remus just shook his head. "I don't have any input in the plotlines; I just write what they send me."
"I thought you were ghost writing those children's books. About horses or something."
"Yes, well I was between books and my agent suggested this. She said it was all the same. They send you the plot synopsis and you just have to write it all out. A good job for struggling writers, she said. How was I supposed to know I would end up having to find 50 different euphemisms for sex?"
Sirius was laughing again, obviously not at all empathetic to his dire plight.
"And now you are sitting here making fun of me, just like I knew would happen when you found out." Crossing his arms, Remus huffed noisily.
"It wouldn't be nearly as funny if you weren't the biggest poof I have ever met in my entire life."
"Thanks, I think." Remus should have been offended at the terminology, but instead he was strangely pleased at the fond look Sirius sent him along with the comment.
"I mean, how are you supposed to write sex scenes between a man and a woman when you haven't even seen a woman naked, much less had sex with one?"
Remus coughed and mumbled something under his breath.
"What was that?"
Trying to control his red face, Remus sighed and continued, "I just figured if you are going to sit here and make fun of me, I might as well get it all over with in one go and mention I'm not exactly a virgin when it comes to women."
"What? When? Who?" Sirius looked as if he were having trouble deciding between shock and amusement.
Remus rubbed the back of his neck nervously, obviously more than a bit embarrassed. "Marlene McKinnon. You know how I get at funerals. It was after the wake of the Prewitt brothers, and you know, everyone was drinking, and there she was, all sympathetic, and well, things got a bit out of hand. Talk about a disaster…"
Sirius stared at him, blinked a few times, and then started laughing again.
"Glad I'm so amusing," Remus muttered. Still, it was nice to see his best friend laughing. He couldn't think of a single time since James and Lily had gone into hiding that Sirius had laughed outright.
"So, should I even ask what you have locked away so carefully in your trunk?"
"You tried to open my trunk?"
Sirius just grinned at him, unrepentant.
Realizing he should have expected such juvenile behavior from his school friend, Remus just rolled his eyes and walked to the corner of the room, unlocking his trunk with several advanced charms. "Research."
Sirius peeked in, finding stacks of novels with pink covers depicting busty, scantily clad ladies fainting into the arms of tanned, overly-muscled men. He burst out laughing again. "This is killing me, Moony! You write bad romance novels!"
"You're never going to let me live this down, are you?" Remus tried to sound put out but he had a slight smile at the same time. He had been silly to try and hide this from Sirius. They were so close and had been for so long that he felt like nothing could ever come between them. Sure, it was a bit embarrassing to have been caught writing such womanish, romantic drivel, but the situation wasn't nearly as awkward as it could have been. Remus distinctly recalled the time James had charmed a suit of armor to follow him around belting out lewd drinking songs. And when the spellbound armor followed him into the classroom and the professor couldn't stop the spell, the whole class was terribly amused, completely at his expense. He just hoped that there would be fewer people who found out about his disastrous writing career. Perhaps someday, when he was able to publish something of his own, people would completely forget that he had ever ghostwritten anything…
"Moony, I can see you have left the world of the living again and are off plotting more wonderful books in your head. I'm heading out to James' house for a while. Be back for dinner?"
Remus realized that he had been gazing off into space for an embarrassing amount of time. Perhaps another cup of tea would keep him focused. "Sure, Padfoot. Say hullo to James and Lily. And Harry of course."
Sirius smiled and grabbed some floo powder. Before he threw it, Remus quickly asked, "You're not going to tell him, are you?"
"Of course I am! What are friends for?" Chuckling, he tossed the powder into the fireplace and left for Godric's Hollow.
Remus smiled and shook his head. His friends might be obnoxious and annoying, but going to Hogwarts and finding them was the best thing to ever happen in his life.
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"Writing romance novels? That's why he's been so secretive recently?" James shook his head in wonder, incredulous at the thought of his most shy, serious friend writing torrid sex scenes.
Sirius nodded shortly.
"What about his trunk though?"
"A whole stash of them in there. Research, he said." Sirius let out a short bark of laughter, but unlike earlier, there was little humor in it.
"I never would have guessed," James commented thoughtfully.
"Merlin, James. I almost pulled my wand on him. I almost hexed him! What kind of person have I become that I suspect one of my own best friends of being a death eater?"
James patted his best friend's arm awkwardly. "War does strange things to everyone. I always thought I would be the last to shut myself away and go into hiding. Always figured I would be on the front lines. Things change."
"But this is Remus we are talking about. He is the best of us all. Kind and patient and wouldn't hurt a fly. And I thought he was betraying us. Betraying me. Gods." Sirius put his head in his hands unconsciously imitating his flat mate's earlier pose though for an entirely different reason. "Things are already so hard on him. I'm pretty sure he has completely given up on finding work in the magical world, but he stays cheerful and positive somehow. Moony… He can't ever know about this. He would be so hurt."
"I won't say a thing," James responded gravely.
After a moment of silence, James added, "But now we know for certain he isn't the leak, don't we?"
Seeing Sirius nod, he continued, "And so now that you know you can trust him, you can make a move, yeah?"
A groan was his only reply.
"You are the wimpiest Gryffindor I have ever met. Get some balls, man. How many years has it been? This is just getting pathetic."
"Maybe after things calm down a bit with You-Know-Who."
"He won't wait around forever, mate. Hey, after what you told me about Marlene, maybe you could try to hook up with him after the next funeral."
"Don't even joke about that, James," Sirius tried to keep the frown on his face but it melted a bit on the edges.
"I've always had an inappropriate sense of humor. Least that's what Lily keeps telling me as she pummels me over the head with the nearest heavy book."
"Maybe next time, it can be a horrid romance Moony wrote that knocks you about." Finally, Sirius was smiling again.
"Ha bloody ha. You are so mean to me." James was grinning like a loon, not even trying to pretend annoyance.
"In any case, I'm not going to wait anxiously for the next funeral to try and get Moony into bed, sorry." As he shared an amused look with James, Sirius realized that a part of him was finally starting to relax after so long. Ever since he had first started noticing Remus' suspicious behavior, Sirius had begun to hurt, and the sentiment wasn't completely bound to worries about the war. The idea that Remus might want to hide something important from him was as soul shattering as anything else he could imagine. Sirius wasn't certain if he would ever talk to Remus about his feelings, but at least now he was once again assured that things between them would never erode; they would always trust and care for each other.
James interrupted his reverie with an exaggerated leer and a poke in the side. "Gonna try sooner than that, then?"
"Shut it, prat." Things were right again in the world, at least for now.
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