I couldn't understand why Mr. Bates was acting so odd- so cruel.
He used to treated me like his queen. He loved me, cared for me; he made sure that I was the happiest I could be. He kissed me several times each day and held me in his arms each night. One might think he was possessive, but it wasn't like that. If I ever wanted to leave him, I know he'd let me if that made me happiest. His only concern was my happiness.
A while ago, we had our two good friends Moseley and Baxter over. Moseley and Baxter had been married for ten years and we went out celebrating. We met at our hotel and headed out for dinner and drinks. The bar had a live band and Moseley asked me to dance. We trotted around the dance floor for a few minutes. Scowling, Mr. Bates firmly grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the bar. He hid us around the corner away from people.
It was January and the air was frigid. I couldn't understand why he would take me outside in the cold.
"Anna May! How dare you dance with another man? You are MY wife and MY wife only! Do hear me Anna? Do you understand?" Mr. Bates yelled harshly.
"It's just Moseley. We're friends, nothing more. It's not like I was dancing with a stranger," I replied.
Mr. Bates eyes scanned me up and down. Without another word, he angrily walked back in the building.
The next day, Baxter and I went for a stroll while Johnny was at school. I told her about the whole incident the night before. She couldn't figure out why he would do and say such things.
By April things had gotten a little worse. Johnny was home on a spring holiday. Mr. Bates, Johnny, and I were dining at the table having a quiet evening dinner appreciating each other's company. In the middle of dinner, someone knocked on the door. I let the boys eat while I answered it. It was a man going around selling something. Mr. Bates heard me trying to shoo the man away unsuccessfully. He rose from the chair, pounced on the man and beat the willy nillies out of him. The man stumbled up and ran off our property. Quickly, I shoved Mr. Bates inside the house.
"What were you doing? You could have hurt that boy! He didn't deserve that. He's just trying to make a living. Plus you're not as young as you used to be. You could have gotten hurt," I sternly pleaded.
"Anna, I just want to make sure you're safe, okay?" Mr. Bates paused and sat down on a chair. As he exhaled he rested his forearms on his thighs and rested his head on his hands. "I just keep getting angry and I'm forgetting things… Just yesterday I couldn't remember what Lord Grantham's name was. I couldn't remember Downton. I couldn't remember what the inside looked like or outside. I couldn't remember, Anna. I don't know what to do."
Mr. Bates began to cry and held him close to my chest. I caressed his shaking body in my arms. Worry radiated off him. I couldn't help but cry. Johnny even teared up a bit.
When June rolled around, Mr. Bates had gotten lost on the way home from the hotel. The hotel was only a block down from our house. He was rapidly forgetting things.
In July we hit rock bottom.
It was the twelfth of July. I cooked breakfast while Johnny set the table. Mr. Bates woke up in the meantime. His white hair was messy and he had more wrinkles than the night before. Puzzled, Mr. Bates peeked around the room.
"John? Honey? Are you okay?"
No answer.
I slowly approached him. I gently brushed his shoulder and smiled at him. Titling his head down he looked into my eyes. Something was off in his eyes. They looked so dark and empty, so bewildered.
"J-John?"
Clasping my shoulders, he shook me. An evil beast took over his face, his hands. Shoving me, he pushed me against the wall. He lifted his arm. He clenched his fist. He punched me.
The blow caused me to crash to the cold kitchen floor.
"Get out of my house! I don't want to look at your sad sorry face," Mr. Bates exploded.
"What?"
"I want to divorce you, you unfaithful bitch!"
"John! What are you talking about?"
"Do you think I'm stupid? Because I'm not. I know you've been fooling around with every man on the block: embarrassing me. Besides I'm in love with another woman. And I would gladly kill for her."
Tears prickled in my eyes. I couldn't control the tears. How could he love someone else? And kill for her?
"Dad! You're making her cry," Johnny nervously yelped.
"You deserve to die, Vera."
Johnny knelt by my side and held me. Tears dripped down my cheeks. Mr. Bates was confused, perplexed, disoriented. Was my loving husband still there?
"Dad, she's not Vera. She's Anna, my mum."
Bates exited to the bedroom. For hours I sat on the floor. I didn't know what to do- where to go.
Later that month, I took Bates to the doctor. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.
Eventually, I am told, Bates will forget how to swallow. He no longer remembers who a I truly am. He still thinks I'm Vera. I do my best to take care of him, but it's difficult being called profanities constantly. I believe, being apart from him would cause me more pain than a few foul words each day and the occasional slap. I know he doesn't mean them towards me. They're for Vera. Often, he expresses his love for "Anna". So I know, deep down, he still loves me: the real me. And as long as he loves "Anna", he's still my Mr. Bates. I still have his heart and he mine.
In sickness and in health. In good times and in bad. I love you, Mr. Bates.