Title: Role Play
Author: Lance Robert Weeler
E-Mail: lanceweeler@hotmail.com
Category: Vignette. Hopefully humorous. S/B
Rating: PG-13? Yeah, sounds right.
Spoilers: Not really.
Disclaimers: Characters? I don't need no stinkin' characters.
Summary: Buffy and Spike inject even more excitement into their love life. Short ficlet, final.
Notes: I just thought of this after watching a bad, but funny movie over and over again. Increase font size for easier reading.
Feedback: Read & review please! Or E-mail! Or something!
Distribution: You want this? Ask first.
*************************************************
It was a quiet night on Revello drive, much more quiet than most - a stunning anomaly. Outside her window, the great oak tree held the casualties of the night before, a pair of black crotchless panties and some leopard print underwear. Crazy kids. The night before, the neighbours were awoken, as per usual, by the loud moans, groans, and screams of passion that seemed to emanate from the same room every night - and sometimes mornings too. But tonight, it was different. Mrs. Bravlowski next door was relieved. She wouldn't have to embarrassingly knock on their door and chastise them for their amorous interludes again. The lights were out, and all was quiet. Too quiet...it was only 11pm.
The house itself was in good condition - the paint not peeling, the lawn not overgrown. Inside, everything was immaculate, clean, orderly. Social workers came from time to time, to check on her sister, and each time they left satisfied knowing that Dawn was in a safe, loving home. Very loving. Dawn at this time was in her room, trying to get to sleep. She didn't seem to need the earmuffs tonight; maybe they would take it easy, she thought. The first few weeks were sweet and sort of exciting, listening to things that weren't for a teenage girl's ears, but the nights became louder, and longer, and more perverted as their twisted love grew knots around each other. Dawn prayed for a good night's sleep.
Buffy's room was another matter. It wasn't immaculate, clean, or orderly, but quite the opposite. The legs of the bed had broken long ago and head and butt prints were visible on the walls in various places. The bedposts were scratched up from handcuffs and for some reason, and even though Spike was a vampire and had no reflection, there was a large mirror (fastened as tightly as possible) on the ceiling. The CD changer was filled to the brim with Barry White, strange lotions and lubricants filled the medicine cabinet, and sex toys and lingerie were haphazardly littered in closet on top of chains, whips, paddles, and a manequin sex doll with a frightening resemblance to Buffy herself which must have been built special.
More amazing than all of this, was tonight, Buffy and Spike would get really nasty. Perversion on a scale beyond comprehension. In the bathroom, Buffy checked herself in the mirror one more time. She wanted to be perfect for him. Ever since Dawn had dragged them to the show, Spike had this crazy fantasy that needed to be played out. Buffy, initially had not wanted to go, but Dawn insisted, explaining how their mother had brought them both when they were little. The show was fun, and planted a seed in Spike's sexual mind...a seed that would come to fruition tonight. She gave her make-up, hair, and costume a final once over and hoped Spike would enjoy this night.
Spike lay sprawled on the bed, waiting for Buffy to arrive. He was shirtless, on his back, wearing only blue jeans and a cowboy hat. He giggled in anticipation. How many women would go to such lengths to please their man? Lucky bastard. He knew that he didn't deserver her, but he didn't care. Buffy entered the room very slowly with an innocent look in her eyes. Spike's jaw fell to the floor as he made a mental note to get Dawn a nice present for making them go to the show. "Buffy"
"My name isn't Buffy. Now cowboy, it looks like you've got a little problem over there," motioning to his crotch area.
"Looks like it. I know this isn't your area of expertise, but do you think you can help me?"
"They didn't teach me this sort of thing at the college, but I supposed with enough experience I could get a feel for it."
Spike slowly pushed his head back up on the pillow as Buffy approached him with a predatory stare. His eyes widened as she crawled on to the bed and straddled him.
"Oh my, you've got a big problem down there."
Spike took in the image before him. He slowly ran his hands through her hair.
"That hair -"
"I curled it just for you."
"And your - it's so red. I've never seen one so big and round before."
"Do you want to touch it?"
"God, yes."
"Do you like it?"
"It's so soft, I didn't think it would be so soft."
"Don't be bashful, give it a little squeeze."
Down the hall, Dawn had trouble sleeping. One night of peace, and she found herself insomniatic. I guess I got used to all the noises, she thought. Maybe something happened to them. A look of concerned gripped her face. She got up and walked down the hall. Buffy's door was ajar. Slowly, Dawn naively pushed open the door...
*Honk*
Oh God, thought Dawn. She quickly closed the door and ran back to her room and dashed underneath the covers. Shaking and terrified by the horror she had just witnessed - her precious childhood memories had forever been tainted. She knew at that moment that she would never again...be able to enjoy the circus.
*******
EPILOGUE:
"What's my name?"
"What?!?"
"My name, say my name!"
"Bozo!"
*******
A/N: OK, now everyone go out and rent The Ladies Man, starring Tim Meadows...God that movie is so stupid, but I can't stop watching it. Hey baby, can I buy you a fish sandwich?
Author: Lance Robert Weeler
E-Mail: lanceweeler@hotmail.com
Category: Vignette. Hopefully humorous. S/B
Rating: PG-13? Yeah, sounds right.
Spoilers: Not really.
Disclaimers: Characters? I don't need no stinkin' characters.
Summary: Buffy and Spike inject even more excitement into their love life. Short ficlet, final.
Notes: I just thought of this after watching a bad, but funny movie over and over again. Increase font size for easier reading.
Feedback: Read & review please! Or E-mail! Or something!
Distribution: You want this? Ask first.
*************************************************
It was a quiet night on Revello drive, much more quiet than most - a stunning anomaly. Outside her window, the great oak tree held the casualties of the night before, a pair of black crotchless panties and some leopard print underwear. Crazy kids. The night before, the neighbours were awoken, as per usual, by the loud moans, groans, and screams of passion that seemed to emanate from the same room every night - and sometimes mornings too. But tonight, it was different. Mrs. Bravlowski next door was relieved. She wouldn't have to embarrassingly knock on their door and chastise them for their amorous interludes again. The lights were out, and all was quiet. Too quiet...it was only 11pm.
The house itself was in good condition - the paint not peeling, the lawn not overgrown. Inside, everything was immaculate, clean, orderly. Social workers came from time to time, to check on her sister, and each time they left satisfied knowing that Dawn was in a safe, loving home. Very loving. Dawn at this time was in her room, trying to get to sleep. She didn't seem to need the earmuffs tonight; maybe they would take it easy, she thought. The first few weeks were sweet and sort of exciting, listening to things that weren't for a teenage girl's ears, but the nights became louder, and longer, and more perverted as their twisted love grew knots around each other. Dawn prayed for a good night's sleep.
Buffy's room was another matter. It wasn't immaculate, clean, or orderly, but quite the opposite. The legs of the bed had broken long ago and head and butt prints were visible on the walls in various places. The bedposts were scratched up from handcuffs and for some reason, and even though Spike was a vampire and had no reflection, there was a large mirror (fastened as tightly as possible) on the ceiling. The CD changer was filled to the brim with Barry White, strange lotions and lubricants filled the medicine cabinet, and sex toys and lingerie were haphazardly littered in closet on top of chains, whips, paddles, and a manequin sex doll with a frightening resemblance to Buffy herself which must have been built special.
More amazing than all of this, was tonight, Buffy and Spike would get really nasty. Perversion on a scale beyond comprehension. In the bathroom, Buffy checked herself in the mirror one more time. She wanted to be perfect for him. Ever since Dawn had dragged them to the show, Spike had this crazy fantasy that needed to be played out. Buffy, initially had not wanted to go, but Dawn insisted, explaining how their mother had brought them both when they were little. The show was fun, and planted a seed in Spike's sexual mind...a seed that would come to fruition tonight. She gave her make-up, hair, and costume a final once over and hoped Spike would enjoy this night.
Spike lay sprawled on the bed, waiting for Buffy to arrive. He was shirtless, on his back, wearing only blue jeans and a cowboy hat. He giggled in anticipation. How many women would go to such lengths to please their man? Lucky bastard. He knew that he didn't deserver her, but he didn't care. Buffy entered the room very slowly with an innocent look in her eyes. Spike's jaw fell to the floor as he made a mental note to get Dawn a nice present for making them go to the show. "Buffy"
"My name isn't Buffy. Now cowboy, it looks like you've got a little problem over there," motioning to his crotch area.
"Looks like it. I know this isn't your area of expertise, but do you think you can help me?"
"They didn't teach me this sort of thing at the college, but I supposed with enough experience I could get a feel for it."
Spike slowly pushed his head back up on the pillow as Buffy approached him with a predatory stare. His eyes widened as she crawled on to the bed and straddled him.
"Oh my, you've got a big problem down there."
Spike took in the image before him. He slowly ran his hands through her hair.
"That hair -"
"I curled it just for you."
"And your - it's so red. I've never seen one so big and round before."
"Do you want to touch it?"
"God, yes."
"Do you like it?"
"It's so soft, I didn't think it would be so soft."
"Don't be bashful, give it a little squeeze."
Down the hall, Dawn had trouble sleeping. One night of peace, and she found herself insomniatic. I guess I got used to all the noises, she thought. Maybe something happened to them. A look of concerned gripped her face. She got up and walked down the hall. Buffy's door was ajar. Slowly, Dawn naively pushed open the door...
*Honk*
Oh God, thought Dawn. She quickly closed the door and ran back to her room and dashed underneath the covers. Shaking and terrified by the horror she had just witnessed - her precious childhood memories had forever been tainted. She knew at that moment that she would never again...be able to enjoy the circus.
*******
EPILOGUE:
"What's my name?"
"What?!?"
"My name, say my name!"
"Bozo!"
*******
A/N: OK, now everyone go out and rent The Ladies Man, starring Tim Meadows...God that movie is so stupid, but I can't stop watching it. Hey baby, can I buy you a fish sandwich?