Fate; Refuse Thy Love
[AN: Listen, I love Abel but I could never tear him away from Est.
Warnings for: implied references to adultery and agender!Kiran/Summoner using they/them pronouns.
'I accept my fate.' Kiran stated blandly; towards their boots and in a quiet voice that made the addressing statement vague.
'Huh…?' Abel asked, looking up from his list. He uncrossed his legs and got up from his chair. His armour made slight noises. He did not grab his lance but it was obvious – in his olive face and green eyes – that he was panicking.
'I said: I accept my fate!' Kiran barked this time. Their hands curling into a fist. 'I'm sorry. I – I've failed you. I – I can't believe I would ever consider to do such evil hearted things to you…. To… Est…' Kiran's voice choked up.
'I'm sorry but you've completely lost me.' apologised Abel.
Kiran raised their head and tears threatened to burst as they gathered beneath Kiran's eyes. Shiny and wet. Emotional.
Abe came forward; a gentle giant. He put a tender hand on Kiran's shoulder.
'I know things are difficult. You come from a land untouched by war; it must be hard to adjust to this new role for tactician, dear Summoner but Kiran, you must start again for you have lost me.' Abel said. His voice cool and soothing.
Kiran swallowed hard.
'I'm in love, Abel.' Kiran reported.
Abel's face lit up and it was like watching sunshine sweetly dance over a dewy bud in the dawn. Awesome and ethereal but it brought great repulsion to Kiran as their stomach knotted and skin grew hot.
'That's marvellous Kiran.' Abel bellowed. 'I can see why this would cause distress. Finding love in the middle of war, the circumstances of it all: you, from another world, they from yet another one. Yes, it could be most challenging not to mention all the normal feelings: he pining, the wistfulness, the worry. It could seem death-like. Is this your first love, Kiran?'
'I, uh….' Kiran faltered with their words. 'Yes. Yes. It is.'
'Wonderful, who is it? I do not like to meddle in the affairs of others but if the opportunity should arise, I shall put good word in for you.' Abel replied. 'But then again, who is not in good favour with you, Kiran?'
Kiran murmured something inaudible. Their hands turned to fists and knuckles paling.
'I'm sorry. I missed that.' Abel said. His voice was perky and his smile wide and bright.
Kiran wondered; what would be more painful: the truth or a lie?
Would it be the truth because Kiran would face rejection or would it be the lie and having to watch Abel fiddle with strings that weren't there and wax poetic about his love in the land he left behind. The land he was plucked from. The land Kiran had stolen him from.
It was do or don't. Time to decide or live to regret it. And, unfortunately, for some reason unknown to Kiran, it was the truth that Kiran could must in their voice and in their words.
'You, Abel. You. I'm in love with… you.'
Kiran's declaration of love did not sound as such. No, rather; it sounded cold and clinical.
Abel visibly deflated upon hearing that. His face paled and he took an awkward step back. His brows furrowed together and his mouth made slight movements wherein he was rendered unable to speak because of treachery.
And Kiran hated it. They hated it so much. They didn't want to hurt Abel but they wanted to be happy with him as well. Be it as friends or lovers.
'I-I'm sorry, Abel.' Kiran murmured. Their voice hoarse. Hollow. They were slowly dying in inside. Their soul shrivelling up and their mind racing at a million miles an hour; searching for an escape.
'Do not apologise for those feelings, Kiran.' Abel boomed. 'I am in no circumstance to requite them as my heart is solely for Est but I do love you. I love you like I love all my closet friends; Marth… Cain… I love fighting alongside you, I love when you get that keening eye for strategy and when you whisper the latest gossip in my ear. I love you, my closet friend Kiran but I cannot accept your feelings. I hath but one wish for you: that one day, you may find a love whom you can share blessed vows with.'
Kiran softened. 'Thank you, Abel. That is very kind of you. I love you too for you are also one of my closest friends.'
A curt, bittersweet smile sculpted Kiran's lips. Abel's tender eloquence did little to soothe the heartbreak, in truth. Beneath the smile, beneath the tears: Kiran's heart roared in agony. There was no pain like unrequited love.
'I shall take leave once more, Abel. You have errands after all… don't you?'
'Er, yes, I do Kiran. Groceries and window shopping. More hobby than necessity at this point.' Abel replied.
'then I shall leave you be. I would hate to interrupt your schedule more than I have. I pray that you and Est are reunited soon… in your own land, on our side of the war… even in your dreams.' Kiran well-wished.
'Thank you, Kiran.' Abel said and he had a tender smile on his face and a slight tilt; he was genuinely touched by Kiran's words despite them meaning naught to them. Just pretty words to quell Abel's concern. Kiran would truly hate to cause more turmoil for him.
'Bye… Abel.' Kiran said and they twinkled their fingers towards Abel.
'Farewell, Kiran. I shall see you when I return.' Abel said with a nod of his head.
With all the grace of a goose, Kiran was excused. They skulked out of the room and with a heavy slam, the door closed behind them. It echoed. Not only in the hallowed stony halls of the Askr Castle but also, inside of Kiran's head. Over and over. They concentrated on the noise. Anything to keep them occupied but alas, it was for naught. The sound brought Kiran no peace – forced or otherwise.
Slowly, the calm façade Kiran had managed before Abel disintegrated. With each tear down their face before it turned to weeping. Kiran kept their hands behind their back. Their fingers grazing the wood of the door. A shambling effort to keep Abel – and Kiran's feelings for him – at bay.