AN- I wanted to see if I could explore Rosalie. This story will be like a diary entry/present time. Rosalie will sometimes think in the past tense but a lot of it will be based in the present. I don't like the way people perceive Rosalie to a bitch and cold hearted, but a lot of people forget she craves mother hood more than anything, and when given the opportunity to experience that undying love and devotion she is not going to pass it up. Please read with caution as the plot may upset some people.

Prologue

Rosalie POV.

I had to see it once before and to have to see it a second time was purely heartbreaking. With Bella, watching Nessie be born was one of the most traumatizing things that I had ever watched a human endure aside from the transition from human to vampire of course.

A part the sick desperate part of me wished Bella would have died, just so I could have my one-shot at being a mother. I remember holding her for the first time, how she fit so perfectly into my arms and how right it felt to be feeding her. Overwhelming love washed over me as I took in her beyond perfect features.

I sighed as I remembered the past; it was almost like déjà vu which was weird as vampires were not prone to experiencing humane things like that.

Watching Nessie give birth was beautiful, aside from the pain she was going through the thought of her bringing human life into this world made my frozen state want to cry. I held her hand and dabbed at her forehead with a cold flannel. I even occasionally did it to the mutt when I saw him getting more sweaty and panicky. As much as I went on like I hated him he was really not that bad. He looked like he was in more pain then Ness when she pushed and screamed.

I couldn't help thinking this is what you get when you have underage sex especially with a sperm machine like Jacob. But all my inane thoughts took a back seat when I head the cry of a newborn. It was the most harmonious sound I had ever encountered. I saw Carlisle lift up the baby showing him quickly to us all. I saw Nessie's mouth drop open and tears fill Jacobs's eyes. I seemed to forget that I was merely the baby's great aunt, but this unexplained rush of love hit me like a tonne of skyscrapers. I had never felt this way before ever. Not even when I looked in to the perfectly brown eyes of Renesmee my heart had just never felt this way. I tried to control my urge to rip the baby out of Carlisle's hands and claim it as my own.

"It's a boy!" he cried out merriment showing on his expression. I could hear Esme sobbing downstairs and Emmett whooping, he has betted with Jasper the baby would be a boy and this was probably the first time in 40 years Emmett had won a bet.

He was perfect, absolutely breath takingly perfect. He had pale ivory skin and jet black hair and when he opened his eyes I almost fainted. The most shocking green I had ever seen, they was brighter then the richest emerald. I was mesmerized.

Nessie cradled her new born son and began to softly rock him against her chest. Jacob ran his hand down his perfectly soft skin ; his eyes were on the verge of serious tears again. But he suppressed them as he gave his wife a kiss on the forehead.

I had wanted to hold him but I resisted, there was something inside of me that kept saying 'she is holding your baby' it kept repeating it's self over and over in my head.

I almost ran out the room when Emmett walked in and stood next to me putting his arm around me. He smiled down and his Nephew beaming with pride, he finally had someone he could pass on his entire 'Emmett information survival guide' to. He had tried with Jacob but no avail and Jasper and Edward just wasn't up for that kind of crap. I could see it in his eyes the way he looked at him; he wished that he was looking down at our son, a mini little version of himself. Emmett would be such a good dad, he would know when to give him advice he would teach him how to play football. My eyes felt like they was going to open up a torrent of tears but they remained cold hard and frozen.

Like the rest of me, I would never have a child because of my body. I was trapped inside my own body. Me and Leah Clearwater somehow became friends after realizing we were similar. She never knew if her body would return to normal and as much as she put on a front, she was secretly devastated at the thought of not being able to have children.

But I knew from Jacob, Leah had given birth to her first child about six months ago. She has met and fell in love at college and proceeded to quit phasing and live a perfectly mortal life.

You couldn't escape being a vampire because you was dead, no heartbeat no oxygen. You couldn't just stop feeding like wolves stopped phasing and become perfectly normal again.

"We are naming him Blake" Nessie said with such warmth and happiness you couldn't help but smile.

Blake Cullen. It fitted so nicely together, that to put it with anything else would ruin the name. But I knew he wouldn't be a Cullen by name, maybe by nature but not by name, and that thought made my blood run cold. Not that I had any blood.

He would be known as a Black which was associated with dogs, and the thought of my precious little creature being known to mutts cracked my heart.

Edward gave me a warning look which basically said he isn't yours so back of. I narrowed my eyes at him and carried on smiling for a united front. But behind my smile lay pain, more pain then you could ever imagine.

Everyone began to chatter excitedly, they were discussing nursery plans when Jacob interrupted.

"Why is he going to have a nursery here?" He asked looking puzzled.

Everyone in the room looked at him like he was plain stupid, but I felt obliged to reply to is stupid question.

"Well it his home so why wouldn't he have a nursery?" I raised my eyebrows at him making sure he understood.

"But this isn't his home" he didn't sound nasty or cruel about it; he was merely stating a fact.

Everyone looked at each other as if to say what? But Nessie clarified everyone's suspicions.

"We decided as he is more human then vampire that it would be safer to not have him around you guys all the time" It was the first time I had properly Saw Nessie state exactly what she thought and wanted.

I suppose motherhood did that to you.

I tried hard to control my anger but I just couldn't. He was mine I had to bite back a growl as it all sunk in.

My little boy wouldn't be living with me, he would be surrounded by dogs and there little follow around puppies.

I could tell Emmett wasn't overly happy about the idea and neither was the rest of the family.

"Well it's your decision Ness" Edward said kissing her and then the baby on the forehead.

I was shocked I had expected him to make the most fuss about it, but he seemed totally calm with it all.

I had to stop them somehow but now wasn't the time to start thinking of plans to thwart there impending move.

As Alice and Jasper departed to go to New York as baby season was on Edward and Bella began sorting out the baby things like his cot and other little necessities. Emmett had gone downstairs to watch the rest of the football while me Ness, Blake and Jacob stayed upstairs.

"May I hold him" It came out like a twisted cry but it was a lot better than I thought.

Nessie smiled and very carefully handed him over to me, I got my arms into the cradled position. He fit perfectly like two peas in a pod. He looked up at me with big wise eyes, and it was then I felt a motherly rush of love run through me.

I felt this urge to protect him from whatever might face us and that sickening worry that something bad could happen. All these Motherly instincts were hitting me left right and centre.

I loved it; I finally found my reason for being put on this earth why everything had happened to me.

It was to be his mom.

Ideas spread through my head of how I could take him away and live a very happy life just me and Blake. As much as I loved Emmett I knew he couldn't betray Edward or Ness like that. But at the time I had no idea what I was doing.

I was desperate for a baby of my own and if this was the only way I was going to get it, then so be it.