What am I doing with my life?

Vessaria Kolminye was nervous.

That rarely happened.

Throughout her career as High Councilor of the League of Legends, she had overseen many skirmishes between rival city-states, Demacia and Noxus especially. She had stared down Nocturne, taken threats from Malzahar without so much as batting an eye, and had even reprimanded Syndra on occasion, when she let her power and arrogance take her too far. No one had any doubt that she truly was fearless, and to be both feared and respected by her peers.

But this time, it was different. This time, Kolminye was riddled with nervous angst.

For today, the League was receiving a new champion.

Normally, this wouldn't be an issue. Champions were frequently applying for membership from every corner of Runeterra, from the Freljord to the Shadow Isles. To be nervous about a new arrival was nearly downright ludicrous, even if the newest addition was sometimes...less than pleasant.

So, why was Vessaria Kolminye herself anxious?

Because for the first time since the League's creation, a champion was to be summoned from an alternate dimension.

This was different from champions of the Void, and the Shard of the Monolith, Malphite. They had come from dimensions relatively "close" in proximity to Runeterra, according to certain experts in that particular field. It was a bit like knocking on the door of your next-door neighbor; merely a few feet away in distance. The champion that was to come to Runeterra on this day, however, was from a world miles and miles away in terms of dimensional space. This was a test, of sorts; to see if great warriors were so abundant that even among the farthest reaches of the multiverse, they were available.

But the one drawback to this was that it was impossible to determine just what the newcomer would be like. Viktor and Jayce had reluctantly partnered together per the High Councilor's request, and had managed to build a device that could locate worthy champions across dimensions. However, they could only find that the champion in question was a being of immense power, and that was all they knew. Apparently, the universe this being was from was located at the very edge of the multiverse, making it impossible to get a completely clear reading. But Kolminye lacked proper knowledge about these things, so if Zaun and Piltover's top scientists said that they couldn't find much else, then it was so.

As they stood in the main courtyard of the Institute of War, Kolminye couldn't help but wonder if this was a good idea. They were taking a gamble with the newcomer, and if he or she turned out to be some sort of malevolent god, then Runeterra itself could be put at risk. The founders of the League of Legends most likely wouldn't have approved of this, but some sacrifices had to be made for the sake of progress.

She had assembled the representatives for each city-state in the courtyard with her. It was only fitting that as the respective leaders of their nations, they be allowed to personally greet the newcomer.

"Are you certain about this, High Councilor?" Jarvan the Fourth voiced her concerns, eyeing warily the contraption the scientists had created. "You know the possible danger involved."

"I am aware of this as well, Prince Jarvan." She replied. "Rest assured that Jayce and Viktor have assured me that this won't fail. The device they've constructed will work."

"You know that wasn't what I was referring to." He said.

She sighed, but didn't answer.

"I trust Jayce more than anyone here," Caitlyn said, adjusting her hat. "but what about Viktor? Are we certain that he won't sabotage the experiment?"

"Hey, lay off Viktor." Ekko replied, irritated. "He's not a bad guy. Sure, he might like machines a little too much, but he just has his own way of helping people."

"You'd better be right." She muttered. "Or it's on all of our heads."

"Shall we proceed, then?" Ashe asked, hands on her hips. "If the Freljord is to acquire a new ally for the Avarosan, I would prefer to meet him or her sooner than later."

"And what makes you think they will side with the Freljord?" Swain asked, Beatrice cawing in agreement. "They may prefer a more...fitting audience."

"Oh, we know exactly what you'd prefer, Swain." Jarvan scowled. "Looking for another dog to leash, are you?"

"Enough." Kolminye said. The two commanders fell silent before things could escalate. "Mordekaiser, do you have anything to contribute? You've been oddly silent, which is unusual for someone of your reputation."

The Iron Revenant merely glanced in her direction, grunting and folding his arms. "We shall see." The Shadow Isles lord replied.

Kolminye shook her head. "Then we shall proceed." She turned her focus to Jayce and Viktor, who were leisurely waiting for her command. "Gentlemen, whenever you're ready."

They both nodded, turning to the array of controls at the base of the cylindrical machine, wires and tubes jutting from every inch. A large disc floated above the top, humming softly. As the Zaunite and Piltovan pressed various switches on the interface, it began to glow, then spin rapidly.

A dull, gradual whine began emanating throughout the air, followed by a gust of wind that nearly threw everyone off their feet. The disc spun faster and faster, becoming a blur of motion as its speed increased. The whine became higher-pitched, until it was the equivalent of one of Karthus's infamous sonnets.

"Is it supposed to be doing that?!" Ekko asked, shielding his eyes from the glow.

"I believe so!" Jayce replied, still at the controls.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU BELIEVE SO?!" Ekko said.

"There is a small chance that it might explode." Viktor offered unhelpfully.

"OH, JUST PERFECT!" Ekko retorted. "WHAT COULD GO WRONG?!"

"Viktor, sugar, you'd better get that thing under control, or we're all gonna be fried!" Sarah Fortune said, desperately holding on to her hat.

"We're almost at peak velocity!" Jayce replied. "Just a few moments longer!"

"Jayce, shut it down, now!" Kolminye ordered. "This is getting too dangerous to continue!"

"We can't!" The Defender of Tomorrow said. "If we do, that might only make things worse!"

The gathered champions could only watch as the disc spun faster and faster, glowing brighter and brighter with every passing second.

The whine finally reached its peak volume.

The glow reached the point where it was almost blinding.

Jarvan prepared his Golden Aegis.

Ekko readied his Z-Drive.

Caitlyn flinched, holding onto her hat.

Swain stood calmly, both hands on his cane.

Sarah ducked behind a nearby pillar of the massive domed archway overhead, Ashe following suit.

Malzahar summoned Voidlings to act as a shield.

Mordekaiser conjured shards of metal to form a barrier in front of him.

But just as the machine looked ready to explode...it stopped.

The assorted champions cautiously looked over their shields, as the device slowly spun to a stop.

"Did it...work?" Ekko asked.

"I...can't be certain." Jayce said. "A portal should have opened, and even though there wasn't one, the readings still suggest that the experiment was successful."

"Oh?" Kolminye asked. "How so?"

"The data here says that a portal was in fact opened." Viktor replied. "Apparently, our new champion has just arrived in Runeterra."

"If that's the case...then...where is he?" Caitlyn inquired, looking around the area.

"According to the data?" Viktor asked. "Right here in this very room-"

"...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Suddenly, a wall of the archway exploded, and through the opening came a jet-ski, with a dark-skinned man clad in nothing but a pair of briefs sitting atop it.

"OLD SPICE BODY SPRAY MAKES YOU SMELL LIKE POWEEEEEERRRRR!" He screamed, skidding to a stop.

...What? All of the champions, and the High Councilor thought, except for Mordekaiser, who looked almost giddy for some bizarre reason.

"IT'S SO POWERFUL THAT IT SELLS ITSELF IN ONLINE FANFICS!" The man yelled again as he dismounted the jet-ski.

Everyone was silent. There really was no way to process what had just happened. This was not what anyone had been expecting.

Luckily, Mordekaiser, the feared Lord of the Shadow Isles, had the sense to make an appropriate reaction.

"OH MY GODS, IT'S TERRY CREWS!" He screamed in ecstatic glee, his voice sounding like a five-year-old girls. His hands were on his cheeks in sheer delight, giddily whining with joy.

"You...know this man?" Kolminye asked.

"HELL YES I DO!" Mordekaiser replied. "HE HAS DONE BRAZIL MANY GREAT SERVICES!"

Brazil? That fantasy paradise he was always rambling on about? It was real? "And...why exactly is this 'Terry Crews' held in such high regard in Brazil?" She asked, still trying to wrap her mind around this.

"THAT'S BECAUSE OLD SPICE IS AVAILABLE IN BRAZIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!" Terry shouted, enunciating the last part of his shout. He then walked over to Mordekaiser, sniffing at his armor. "You smell like pineapples and fruit smoothies."

Mordekaiser gleefully sniffed at Terry's head. "You smell like pow-"

"Yeah I do!" Terry interrupted, holding up what appeared to be a can of men's body spray.

Kolminye made a start to formally welcome him to the League, as well as explain why he was there.

Terry's left pectoral muscle flexed, sounding like a wrench being cranked.

Sarah started drooling.

Kolminye stared.

Terry's other pec flexed, sounding like a car engine being revved.

"POOOWEEEEERRRRRR-" His feet sprouted rockets, and he crashed up through the domed ceiling and into the clouds.

"Uh..." Ekko sweat-dropped. "So. I guess that's the new guy."

I just did this for shits and giggles. Let me know if you want me to make this longer and continue it!

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