Carlton Lassiter walks into the office and the first thing he notices is Shawn Spencer, precariously perched on the edge of his desk. Days that start like this never end well, he thinks.
"Lassy!" Spencer calls out, a far too cheerful greeting. "Did you know that this stuff makes an absolutely horrible substitute for chapstick?" He's holding out a bright blue tube with "WET!" on the side; Carlton (to his horror) feels himself blush.
"I don't even want to know, Spencer," he mutters.
"I was at this World AIDS day thing, and my lips were chapped and they were handing out safe sex kits. But don't worry about my lips, Lassy, I found the chapstick in your desk."
(Carlton makes a mental note to replace it as soon as possible.)
"Oh, and that reminds me, here, I got you something," and he tosses a bright foil wrapper in Carlton's general direction.
Carlton wants to ignore it, but instinct kicks in and he catches what turns out to be a root beer flavored condom. "A root beer flavored condom?" he says, incredulity apparent in his voice.
"Do you know how long it took me to find that? They were mostly peppermint. I had to steal that from a very angry lesbian."
"...I don't even like root beer..." Carlton murmurs.
Shawn grins, jumps off of Carlton's desk and leans in to whisper in the other man's ear. "That's not quite the point, Lassy, -I- LOVE it." He licks his lips for emphasis, and Carlton goes quite pale all of a sudden as he figures out exactly what Shawn's implying.
Carlton babbles something incoherent and Shawn grins again. "Anytime you like Lassy, just say the word. It's good to be prepared."