It's wrong.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
They are a team- a family, and family sticks together throughout any hardships and obstacles that will appear along the way of life. They were supposed to have each other's back- supporting each other through the worst, not ending up like this.
They went through so much together- yet not enough- and their journey had only just began. There were so much more to discover and experience.
To feel.
To cry.
To laugh.
To love.
They were supposed to be the heroes, the winners of this war, but being victorious has always its misfortunate consequences. No win can be obtained without its sacrifices. Power has vanquished us all from our real purpose.
Survival.
Survival for another day, another night.
Another beginning.
They were supposed to survive all together, to live and laugh with each other. To recall the joyful and the hidden wretched memories of their past. To joke around like they always used to, but this time it was different- different, yet so wrong.
They couldn't go back to the normal days anymore, because they weren't whole. There was an emptiness in each and everyone's hearts, something was missing- not something, someone.
He was gone.
Just like that.
He had perished in thin air, without having anyone realize that he disappeared. They were unable to prevent it from happening.
They were too late.
It was too late now.
He didn't mean any of this to happen. Keith wanted him back, wanted Lance to burst through his room's door and say that it was all just a puny joke. He wanted to have Lance next to him- even though he was being annoying most of the time- he didn't really mind.
He didn't mind at all.
Maybe what he truly needed now was Lance's annoying rambling, his gorgeous stupid face with that goofy smile of his, and the way his eyes would sparkle proudly every time he said the lamest pun.
He wanted him- needed him more than anything, but he couldn't have him.
Not now.
Not ever.
It was a Galra attack, a little bit too much like all the other ones- or so they would have liked to think. They miscalculated the enemy's attack and Keith with his lion was the one to be placed into the position that was at the exact center of the Galra's ship field of range. If the powerful violet laser beam were to have direct contact with anything, it would surely be annihilated in a matter of seconds. And that was exactly what was going to happen to Keith.
It would have happened, only if that blue-like streak hadn't come in between them.
Before the enemy's attack could make contact with Lance's blue lion, Keith heard a voice through his helmet's speaker.
A sorrowful voice saying 'I'm sorry' and before he could react or say anything in return, the laser beam collided with the blue lion, obliterating it from existence.
Keith had just stood there frozen, petrified. Screams could be heard from his helmet's speaker, but they were barely even a whisper for him. His mind had shut down completely, he couldn't think straight, he was seeing red and those two traumatic words were being repeatedly played in his mind like a broken record, haunting him.
His entire world had shuttered right before his eyes and it was all his fault.
A few weeks had passed since that tragic incident and the condition of the four remaining paladins, along with princess Allura and her assistant and close friend Coran, couldn't be any worse.
They had just lost an important member of their family.
Pidge lost their best friend.
Shiro lost his son.
Hunk lost his brother.
And Keith… Keith lost his everything.
He lost more than one could ever imagine and he blamed himself for that. Oh, how would he have wanted to join him, to finally reunite with Lance again, but he knew he couldn't do it. It wasn't that he was afraid of dying- it was actually what he craved for the most, to just take some pills and let himself free.
Fade away into the blissful darkness.
He was desperate, but he knew that it was wrong for the others. It would cause them a great deal of pain and he had already caused enough as it is. The others didn't blame him at all, in fact, they were a little bit relived that he was at least safe, but they were also devastated by their loss.
He was getting worse and they knew, but what should he do? Shiro, Pidge, Hunk, Allura and Coran, they all said that they had to move on, no matter how heart-breaking and impossible as it was.
But how could Keith move on when he refused to?
What if he didn't want to move on?
What if he liked to live the rest of his life as a lie, being hopeful, having faith that Lance will one day return back to him?
Return home, where he belongs.
Keith had desolated himself off from everyone, barely leaving his room and never talking to anyone.
He was tired.
He wanted all this suffering to end.
He wanted this miserable, pitiable and pathetic life of his to be over.
To be at peace for once, but the others were concerned for him, about his well-being. They could understand how he was feeling and they were willing to support him more than anything, but at the same time they were vaguely confused, as to why had Keith been affected by Lance's death so exceptionally than any of them.
They wanted to speak to him, to understand him and that's what Shiro was doing at the moment, standing right outside Keith's room at midnight. He lightly knocked on the door two times and waited for a few minutes. After not getting any response at all, he knocked again, yet nothing but silence came as a reply. Then he sighed and placed his right hand on the steeled door.
"Keith, it's me Shiro, I know you are awake, please open up." He whispered and awaited for a reaction- anything- but nothing came. He leaned his head on the door and closed his eyes as he begun talking again in a low and pained tone.
"I know you are hurting, we all are, but something more must have been going on between you two. I don't know what that is, but I'm here if you want someone to talk to. We haven't seen you in days- hell, it might have been even weeks, but the point is, we are worried sick about you and we only want to help you. I know that I can't really say anything to make the situation better, nor can I bring Lance back, but you don't have to go through this alone. You need a shoulder to lean on and you have me for that, so please open up and let me take care of you."
Shiro didn't know, but somewhere along his speech his voice started cracking and now he was in the brink of crying.
He waited and waited, but he still got nothing and as he backed up from the door and was about to leave, the door was opened ajar. He walked towards it, got inside and then closed it behind him. As he let his eyes inspect around the room, he could hardly see anything, because the room was immersed in pitch darkness.
Then a low whimper got his attention and his gaze fell over the bed, where a figure lay under the thick blanket. He walked towards the bed and sat down at the end of it. They stayed like that, in silence for a while, neither of them doing absolutely anything.
"I miss him, not having him around anymore has broken me completely and I can't take it and feeling like it was all my fault for his death isn't making it any better either. I know you said that it wasn't my fault- that there wasn't anything we could do- but still, that doesn't mean that I could have at least tried to help him."
The figure underneath the blanket shuffled and removed it from himself as he sat up straight on the bed, not too far away from Shiro.
Shiro's eyes widened as he took in Keith's appearance.
His hair was messed up, going all over the place. Dried tears were on his cheeks, his eyes puffy and blood-shot and his whole face incredibly red. He also had dark circles under his eyes and his whole posture screamed emptiness and sorrow.
As Keith's gaze fell over the other ones, that was when Shiro understood the amount of pain and sadness Keith was going through.
His eyes were lifeless, devoid of any emotion, all the spark was gone and Shiro couldn't stand to look at Keith suffering like this. He pulled him into a bone-crushing hug and placed a hand though Keith's greasy hair, moving it in slow circles.
Keith didn't cry. He had already let all the tears flow out until there were no more and now he felt utterly drained.
"I haven't felt this tired before…" Keith trailed off as Shiro laid him down on and covered him with the blanket.
"Then sleep, tomorrow is a new day and we can speak again then." As Shiro was about to get up, a hand grabbed his, preventing him from leaving.
"You were right, he and I were something more than friends. He was always there for me when I needed him and he always had my back. I'll always be grateful that he stood by me in my best and worst times. He always took care of me and he was so gentle with me- he would even come into my room at some particular nights when I was feeling unwell and he would just lay here with me, without neither of us having to say anything, because our eyes spoke everything we wanted to say." Keith let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes.
"During the day we were mere rivals."
"And during the night?"
Keith turned over to him with a small, genuine smile on his lips, his eyes sparkling with longing and sadness.
"During the night, he was the love of my life."