My Correspondence With Charles Manson
A Collection of Letters Written By Jessica Dorring and Sent to Charles Manson
Dear Charles Manson,
I am a desperately lonely teenage girl with a spectacular hatred for my father. Will you be my honeybumpkins? I live in New Zealand with my pet spider monkey, Ahab. He's quite the character! Why, just today he shat in my hat! He's a good guy though; he didn't mean anything by it.
I hope that you come visit me soon. I know that New Zealand is a really long way away from the Secure Housing Unit at San Quentin, but I can sure make it worth the long trip (I practice giving blowjobs on the smallest of my television remotes). ;-) Besides, it'll be a nice vacation from all the darkness and loneliness you've become so accustomed to over there.
I don't know why people think you're such a bad guy. I mean, yeah, you were involved in the murders of a few people. So what? I mean, I've done much worse. I hope that they see sense and let you out of there soon. That is, if you want to be released. I hear talk that you wanna stay in there for the rest of your life, but I'm sure that's just some bullshit someone or another is spreading about you.
Ahab tells me that he thinks your beard would be very course and unpleasant to sleep against, but I think that it looks soft and fluffy. Like a pillow!
Hey, Charlie, have you ever read this book called Twilight? It's actually a whole series of books. They're soooooo good! Everyone's reading them. I can't remember if you can read or not, but I'm pretty sure that even if you can't you'll be able to understand these books. Even the illiterate are able to read them! That's how much the author of these books believes in equal opportunity. Her name is Stephenie Meyer and she's awesome. I met her once. She complemented my stage makeup. She's a hero of mine, just like you!
You wanna know more about me, Charlie? How sweet of you to care! No one cares for me here at home which is why I am forced to seek the comfort of an older man like you, convicted and almost sent to death for murdering seven innocent people. My logic makes sense, huh? Anyways, to answer your question, I haven't always lived in New Zealand. I was actually born in South Central L.A. during whaling times, but when my father, who radically opposed the manufacturing and harvesting of artichokes during the Cold War, was told he would be inheriting the family's artichoke farm, he eloped with my mother. My mom is half sheep, half woman. Don't ask which half is which; you won't like the answer either way…
Oops! I've said too much! I should probably go and feed Ahab anyway. He's already begun unraveling his own intestines and digesting them internally. I'll be sure to write you later!
Love and Admiration,
Jessica Dorring