"I'm tired of observing something that's unchanging, so I'll kill you and see how Suzumiya reacts," Asakura said matter-of-factly, before lunging across the room at me with a knife without any visible preparation. I dove out of the way, losing most of my tie to the knife in the process.

Wait, what? What is this situation? Why does she have to point a knife at me? Wait, what did she just say? Kill me? Naze? Why?

"Stop joking!" I exclaimed. "This is dangerous! Even if that wasn't real, I'd be scared!"

"You think this is a joke?" Asakura replied, frowning, but talking in the same sweet tone. "You don't want to die? To be killed? I don't really understand the concept of an organic's death."

"I don't get this and I can't laugh! Please just put that dangerous thing somewhere else!"

"That's impossible. Because I really want you to die."

She lunged again. I was about to move out of the way again, when someone shoved me aside. I heard Asakura's movement's stop and looked up to see a girl with long silver hair, wearing another school's uniform with a pink blazer and black skirt and socks. She had grabbed Asakura's arm, and Asakura was regarding her curiously.

"Who are you?" Asakura asked.

"I am Saito Yui," the girl replied almost inaudibly. "I was created one year ago to observe the activities of normal humans. I am replacing you as Nagato-san's backup effective immediately. My data control functions are far superior to yours, please surrender immediately."

Nagato? So is what she said true? Asakura mentioned Suzumiya, she sure is popular!

"If I refuse?" Asakura asked

"You will cease."

The knife dissolved into thin air and the silver haired girl, Saito, pushed back on Asakura's arm, sending the blue haired girl flying across the class room and into the opposite wall, shattering the windows and cracking the wall itself. Amazingly, Asakura stood up unharmed from that.

"I have arrested control of the information in this room. You can't defeat me in this space," she said in that same sweet tone she always used. Talk about sickeningly sweet.

It was at this time that it occurred to me "Wow, these two really aren't human!" The windows and doors to the room disappeared, leaving us in a dark, blank rectangle of a room with no exit. Asakura said something, impossibly fast, and a spear of light appeared in her hands. She threw it, but it shattered against some invisible barrier in front of Saito.

"This is the only way to get Suzumiya to move," Asakura insisted. "Otherwise no new data will be obtained."

"The sort of data you want to produce will be volatile, likely leading to the destruction of our universe," Saito countered.

A barrage of spears flew at Saito, but she moved her hand lightning fast, intercepting and dissolving each spear the moment they came near her hand. Asakura continued her attacks, clearly keeping Saito on the defensive. Her hands extended into spears and stretched forwards, but stopped dead near Saito. Then, everything returned to normal and Asakura started to dissolve. Nagato walked in through the door.

"Saito Yui had already conferred with me prior to your confrontation," she explained. "I was working on neutralizing you all throughout your fight."

"I see," Asakura said. "It looks like you get to live a little longer, Kyon. But be careful, the Integrated Data Sentience Entity has many changing facets. It may be only a matter of time before these two's puppet masters change their minds about you and Suzumiya."

I stared at her in shock. Why was all this happening? Why Suzumiya?

Saito turned to me and extended a hand towards me to help me up. No thank you, I'll stay here on the floor where it's safe. She smiled slightly. I took the hand and stood up.

Could someone explain to me what just happened, anybody at all?

"Asakura-san tried to kill you in order to create a data explosion to observe," Saito explained.

Simpler terms, please.

"If you die, Suzumiya-san will be upset and her powers will likely cause a large change in the world. Asakura-san wanted to facilitate that."

Suzumiya, Suzumiya. If everybody is so interested in her, maybe she should deal with these kinds of incidents personally. No, now that I think about it, that's an awful idea. In any case, I would like to go home where things make a semblance of sense now.

"We should fix this room first," Saito said, gesturing to the broken windows and cracked walls. She spoke like Asakura had and they were instantly repaired, it was as if this incident had never happened.

I observed Saito more closely now, she was slightly taller than Nagato, and her hair was longer, reaching down to her mid back. Her eyes were a bright, distinctive blue. Overall, I would have to say that she was rather pretty, though I'm not Taniguchi rating girls on a scale or anything.

Speaking of Taniguchi, he suddenly walked into the room, then stopped and stared in shock upon seeing the three of us.

"What are you three doing?" he exclaimed.

"Having a threesome, obviously," Saito replied. She was only slightly smiling, which combined with her even tone made it hard to tell if she was joking or not.

"What's a 'threesome'?" Nagato asked.

"I'm sorry, continue!" Taniguchi said, running frantically out of the room.

Thanks Saito, you may have irrevocably changed my reputation.

"No problem. We should get home."

"What do you mean, we?" I asked

"I'm walking you home," Saito said. "I'm pulling double duty as Nagato-san's backup and your bodyguard, in case any other radical factions act up."

I guess that's not so bad.

"I'll never leave your side again."

I still can't tell whether or not you're joking.

"In all seriousness, let's get going. Do you want to come too, Nagato-san?"

"I will come," said Nagato.

And so, the three of us walked back towards my home together. Two cute girls walking me home may have been something out of a fantasy, but considering what just happened, I was hardly in the mood to enjoy it.

Once we were there, Saito had me add her to my contacts and memorized my phone number to add to hers. She waved goodbye with a small but friendly smile and left with Nagato. I was confident that with Nagato around, I would never need a bodyguard, and thus would likely never see Saito again. Naturally, she saw fit to prove me wrong and showed up as a new transfer student at school the next day, in my class no less, right after the teacher finished explaining that Asakura had suddenly transferred away.

"It's nice to meet you all, I'm Saito Yui," she said with a bow. "I like video games and TV. Please treat me well."

She sat down in Asakura's seat. This whole series of events seemed to ignite a fire within Haruhi, whose eyes glittered with excitement once more.

"Two mysterious transfers at the same time? This definitely qualifies as an incident!" she exclaimed. "I'll investigate during lunch!"

I was fine with that, as long as she didn't drag me into it, I didn't want any extra work. In any case, I was nursing another matter. Asahina-san had slipped a note into my shoebox. Was this a fad or something now? She asked me to meet her in the clubroom at lunch. Naturally, I had to go. What I didn't anticipate, was that Saito would follow virtually my every move. You don't have to follow me, what's Asahina-san going to do?

Saito shrugged. "It's my job to protect you."

I arrived at the clubroom and knocked on the door.

"Yes?" said Asahina-san's voice from the inside. I opened the door to see an older woman who heavily resembled Asahina standing by the window. "Ah, Kyon-kun, it's been a while!"

"Um, are you Asahina-san's older sister?" I asked.

"I am me, the real Asahina Mikuru."

"She speaks the truth," Saito said. "I can take a DNA sample if you'd like."

Before I could contemplate how exactly she would go about doing that, the woman cut in.

"Huh? Who are you? I don't remember you from last time…"

"Saito Yui, Kyon-san's bodyguard."

"I see, the timeline has changed. In that case, what I came here to tell you may be outdated, but I will tell you anyway. Do you know Snow White?"

"Of course," I replied.

"From now on, whenever you're in a troubling situation, remember the story of Snow White."

"Seven dwarves, evil witch, poisoned apple, all of that?"

The woman nodded.

"I was just in a troubling situation yesterday."

"That's not the one. When it happens, Suzumiya-san will be with you. She may not think the situation is troubling."

"I see, thank you for telling me."

Asahina-san looked nostalgically at the maid outfit her past self now wore on Haruhi's orders. "I can't believe I used to wear this, it would be impossible now."

What other ridiculous outfits did Haruhi have you wear?

"I can't tell you, it would be too embarrassing. Besides, you'll find out for yourself soon enough."

She came in and hugged me.

"One more thing, don't be too friendly with me."

Then she started to leave.

"Asahina-san, could you just tell me one thing: exactly how old are you right now?"

Asahina-san turned around and gave me a smile and a wink. "Classified information."

Then she left. In other words, she's playing a high school student right now and will return to her own era in the not too distant future. I wonder how much time had passed for her. Based on her appearance, maybe three or five. Women change drastically once they graduate. I'm hungry, I had better head back. Good grief.

Nagato walked back in as I headed for the door.

Yo, Nagato. Did you happen to see someone who looked a lot like Miss Asahina on your way here?

"The future Asahina Mikuru, we spoke this morning."

"Can you time travel, Nagato?"

"I cannot, however, time travel is not that difficult."

I'd sure like some tips.

"It cannot be explained in words, and you could not comprehend it."

Is that so?

"It is."

Then I'm at a loss.

"Loss."

"Nagato, and you too, Saito, thanks for yesterday," I said.

"Unnecessary. Asakura Ryouko's deviant behavior was my responsibility and failure."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, senpai," Saito cut in. "No one got hurt. Except Asakura-san."

Afterwards, Haruhi lectured me for disappearing.

"Where did you go?" she demanded. "I thought you'd be back and waited without eating! Follow me!"

She led me outside.

"I overheard Okabe talking in the teacher's lounge, and nobody knew about Asakura until this morning. A man claiming to be her father called early saying he was suddenly moving, and where to? Canada, Canada! That's fishy, right?"

Sure, so what then?

"So I asked for a contact address, and they didn't have that either! Something's got to be behind this!"

No way!

"I kept grilling until I got her old address. I'll head there after school and investigate. I'm sure to find out."

She then literally dragged me through the halls. As usual, she never listens, well, I won't stop her. They're her vain efforts, not mine.

"You're coming too!"

"Why?"

"You call yourself a member of the SOS Brigade?" she demanded as she slapped a notice on the clubroom door.