So here is part 2 of this trilogy. I wasn't going to continue, mostly due to the way I wrote the first part of the story, but I received several reviews and messages asking for more. As the title states, this is just the immediate after math of part one with foreshadowing of part three. Warning there is an unusual pairing written near the ending - if you don't like,don't read. Also there is no Harry POV but he does make an appearance or two.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

NO POV

It was an hour before the aurors showed, though Sirius Black had arrived just in time to witness Harry's animated scarecrow hit Pettigrew over the head it's shovel for the second time. At first he was up-in-arms about Lucius being free to walk around while his best friend was dead, Lily explained - and proved using a spell she had developed for the department of mysteries - that Lucius had been under the influence of the imperius curse since BEFORE his marriage to Narcissia seven years earlier and had been cursed numerous times since. He did get a laugh about what Harry did to the Dark Idiot. He and Lucius spent the 48-minute wait chucking popcorn (helpfully supplied by Lily after she had put Harry down for the night) at the Dark Loser.

When the aurors arrived (FINALLY!) they expected to find the dead bodies of all three Potters. In the end they were shocked out of their wits when they came upon Lily Potter and Rubeus Hagrid - whom Dumbledore had sent to retrieve Harry, having sent out a delayed message before leaving Hogwarts earlier that evening. It was something that the old man had complete forgotten about with the nights events - sipping a cuppa at the kitchen table.

While that was a surprise, it was when the group of aurors turned into the living area that they got the scare of their Malfoy and Sirius Black were sitting on the rather comfortable looking sofa, taking turns torturing a mini-Dark Lord with tickling curses. Meanwhile the Potter baby sat in his play pen in the corn, occasionally casting wandless (ahem, "accidental") colour changing spells at the tiny, fuzzy, antlered Evil One, giggling at his preys' squeals and pleads for mercy.

"So good of you to joins us lads," Sirius, whom Dumbledore had already stated was the betrayer of the Potter family, greeted before sending another tickling curse at the minuscule captive. "Took you long enough."

"Yo dudes," Lucius nodded at the uniformed sheep masquerading as law enforcement. "Sup?"

"Uh..."Sheep...I mean, auror #1 started. "We are here to arrest you?" Johnathan Dawlish, aka auror #1, looked at his superior, Kingsley Shacklebolt who was wondering what to think of the farce playing out in front of him. With the sole exception of the body of James Potter - now laid out on the cottage's porch swing with a white sheet covering him head to toe - it was most certainly different from what Dumbledore had told him he would find.

"Sorry it took us so long," Kingsley said abashed, rubbing the back of his head. "None of us were in on the secret of your location we had to wait until Dumbledore could take down the Fidelius he cast for you. Speaking of which...why are you, Sirius Black, the man who should be on the run for betraying the Potters, sitting in the Potters living room casting spells on a doll, and keeping company with a suspected death eater who sounds like he is high on something?"

"Nice summation man," Lucius acknowledged with a nod which casting yet another charm at the squealing 'doll'.

"Thank you. Now an answer if you will."

"Whatever Dumbles told you," Sirius said, being serious for a moment (yes, I went there, shoot me now lol). "Was a complete pile of rubbish...only a much worse word that if I ever said in front of Prongslet over there Lily would have my balls for earrings. And as pretty as she is, I have no doubt she could pull it off."

"Here here!" Lucius smirked. "Tell me boys, can you attest that it was ALBUS DUMBLEDORE who took down the Potter's fidelius charm and who confirmed the rumor that I was the Potter's secret keeper?"

"Yes, yes, now an answer please," Kingsley replied, exasperated.

"Good," Sirius nodded, smiling as Harry magically changed Moldyshorts into a belly-dancing outfit and practically giggled when the Dark lord began dancing the hula. "See here's the thing: I wasn't the secret keeper, Peter Pettigrew was. Lucius and our miniaturized captive over there can confirm it as it was that traitorous rodent who provided the secret of the Potter's hiding place, not me."

"It's true...we did your job for you and captured the real traitors," Lucius gestured towards the stuffed animal in a metal cage above the fireplace. "There you go, can't get an easier arrest than that!"

"Is this a joke?!" Dawlish barked, his face forming a sneer even Severus Snape would be proud of.

"Well," Sirius chuckled, "here's the thing: during our overly long wait for you clowns to show up, Pettigrew tried to escape by transforming into his animagus form but Harry spotted him. Let's just say that Harry's magic has been a little wild tonight, especially when he felt like he or his mom was in danger...Basically, Harry transfigured Pettigrew into a rodent plushie with accidental magic. It should wear off...eventually."

When it had happened Lily, Lucius, and Sirius had just sighed. They were no longer capable of being surprised by the infant's magical aptitude. They had simply created a cage around the plushie before charming it to kingdom come.

"Right...say we believe you, and that's a really big if, you still haven't answered why you are here."

"I had a bad feeling, you know the one: where your gut contracts and you think you might have indigestion but in your heart, you know that it is something more insidious. The feeling wouldn't go away so I decided to check in on Peter. I took my bike - its outside if you're curious - and flew over to Peter's apartment...it was empty and there were no signs of a struggle. I knew right away that we had been betrayed. I tracked his magical signature here. I honestly didn't know what to expect but it certainly wasn't what I found."

"And what was that?" an anonymous auror from the group called out. While Kingsley didn't believe a word coming out of Black's mouth - everyone knew that all of the Black's were seriously dark - he could admit that the former prankster did spin a good yarn.

"James was dead. Pettigrew was being brained with a shovel by an animated scarecrow, Lily was in the arms of Lucius Malfoy who sounded more like a beach bum than a Death Eater, Moldyshorts had been transfigured into a fuzzy, multi-coloured, antlered monstrosity the size of a muggle action figure and sweet baby Harry was at the epicenter of it all.

I admit I went a little bonkers when I saw James; Lily had to petrify me so she could explain what had happened. Apparently, someone has been feeding Lily potions keyed to James since our sixth year at Hogwarts and when James died, the hold the potions had over her died with him. Lucius here has been under the imperius and several other mind-altering spells for the past seven or eight years by either his father or wife. Of course, they both swore magical oaths to prove that their stories were true. I had no choice but to believe it."

"While we were waiting we also came up with an explanation as to why Harry's magic has been a little wild and overpowered tonight." Lucius stated calmly when the aurors remained silent, watching as Harry sent another spell at the mini-Dark Vagrant. Internally he was scrambling to distract the newcomers from the baby prodigy before they took Lily's son away for experimentation. Luckily Sirius was there to pick up the slack as King Bull-shitter.

"We think that the Peverell family magics took hold when they felt that Harry was in danger; given that he is the last known descendant of the Peverell family and that it is Al' Hallows Eve, it is no wonder that family magic would attempt to protect a vulnerable heir by supplying an abundance of over powered accidental magics." Sirius stated pushing as much certainty into his voice as he could.

'I am not pulling this out of my ass, I am not pulling this out of my ass. Nope, not. At. All! I'm dead, so dead, Lily is going to KILL me! But at least to this group of sheep this explanation is more plausible than Harry being a reincarnation of Merlin or something. Okay, they would totally buy that but it would be more problematic than its worth; funny but too troublesome.' Sirius thought, trying his hardest to keep a straight face at all the dung he had just spewed.

"Oh bullshit!" a muggleborn auror - one of the few who managed to get into the program - shouted as the rest of the group nodded in acceptance.

'Shit, how the hell did he know?' Sirius panicked internally. He had never been called out regarding his cover stories (aka lies) before and this one was much more imaginable than his usual tales.

Lucky for him he wasn't alone.

"Do you have a better explanation?" Lucius scoffed. "This is why I don't like muggleborns - they don't bother to learn our customs and try to rationalize things that simply cannot be quantifiably explained. Of course, if you prefer to believe the only other possible explanation that's up to you."

"And what's that?" said muggleborn auror questioned snidely, his tone causing Harry to stop giggling and narrow his eyes at the idiot who seemed like he wanted to hurt Harry's mommy's friend (aka Lucius).

"That he is the reincarnation of Merlin," Lucius stated this with a straight face...for a second before utterly losing it.

"As you can see," Sirius pointed to his new blonde-haired friend who was now rolling around in laughter. "The first option is much more plausible."

"So why the Peverell magics and not those of the Potter's?" Auror #5, Hestia Jones, asked skeptically. She was certainly starting to buy Sirius' explanation - as were the rest of the aurors - but it needed one more push.

"Simple dear girl," Lucius waved his arms in a dramatic fashion. "James Potter was still alive when the magics were first summoned by sweet Harry here. If the Potter magics abandoned the Potter of Potter's for his heir, James would have been left vulnerable, would he not? To prevent that it was the Peverell magics – that would have been stronger at this time of year in any case given their nature, that boosted young Harry's magical reserves in such a fashion. It is possible that the Potter magics have either already rejoined with the Peverell magics upon James' death or perhaps Harry will come into them upon his majority. We shall see."

"True," Kingsley nodded in acceptance. "All this is quite possible. Already then Mr. Black, Mr. Malfoy, Mrs. Potter, if you could swear magical oaths that the events of tonight went as you say they did, I'll take the…ummm…rodent plushie – oh look, its animated again. Good a simple Animagus reversal spell ought to do the trick…probably should wait until the trial though – and the Dark Lord back to the ministry."

"Of course Auror Shacklebolt," Lily said courteously as she picked up Harry, balancing the baby on her hip as she pulled her wand out from where it was tucked behind her ear. "You will however, make sure that neither of the them go missing - or into Dumbledore's hands - won't you. I recommend placing them in the cells within the department of mysteries - after arresting Augustus Rookwood as a suspected Death Eater of course. I guarantee you that Croaker won't let them out of his sight until their respective trials...and will probably feed them enough Vertiaserum to make a hippogriff sing like a canary."

"A sound suggestion," Kingsley acquiesced. "Very well."

"I, Lily Amara Potter nee Evans, swear on my magic that the events of the night happened as stated, as far as I know. As I will so mote it be. Lumos."

"I, Sirius Orion Black, swear on my life and magic that I was NOT the Potter's secret keeper and that I am not, nor have I ever been, a follower of the Dark Lord. As I will so mote it be. Rictusempra!" The Dark Midget once again began squealing as Sirius' tickling charm worked its magic, confirming Sirius' words were true.

"I, Lucius Hyperius Malfoy, do so swear that the following statement is true. I have been kept under various mind-altering spells, enchantments, potions, etc - including a monthly renewal of the Imperious curse - since before I graduated Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry. I was forced under the power of the imperius curse to become a death eater though I hold by very, very few of the Dark Lords beliefs. I have never participated in a revel nor have I ever taken a life that was not posing serious danger to my own. On my life and magic I so swear, as I will so mote it be. Expecto Patronum."

The large misty feline that emerged from his wand took Lily's and Sirius' breaths away before they followed suit, casting their patroni simultaneously. Their patron pranced towards Lucius' before piling on top of each other. Their pack of grim-like patroni seemed to sigh in contentment.

"Ahem," Kingsley coughed into his hand, drawing the attention away from the fading patroni. "Yes well, that settles that I think. Well done. We'll be going now. Good night to you all." With that Shacklebolt swept up the two cages and all but dashed for the door, his fellow aurors close on his heels.

"You know what this means right?" Sirius smirked, licking his lips.

"Of course, but does she?" Lucius looked down at Lily, who at some point had put her peacefully dozing son back into his playpen, his eyes darkening with unbridled lust.

"What it means," Lily sniggered, pushing away the hands of both men who had somehow managed to trap her between them, "is that both of you have an incredible amount of hard work and near daily wooing if you even want me to contemplate being with not one but two of you, soulmates or not! Got that?!"

"Yes ma'am," both men jumped to attention, saluting their female soulmate.

"Besides," Lily continued, pacing as she talked. "This is no time to be fooling around: Lucius needs to be freed from that bitch wife of his and Sirius needs to do something about his family before they manage to assassinate him. Then there's James' funeral to arrange, my family to deal with, the trials of You-Know-Who - oh how I hate that damn taboo! - and Peter, Harry's apparently unstoppable magical abilities. Not to mention that we need to find a way to knock Dumblebutt off his pedestal into the dirt which means research and..."

"Lily...Lily stop!" When she wouldn't - or couldn't - stop Lucius did the one think he could think of: he kissed her.

When Lucius broke off the kiss Lily attempted to continue her rant but was stopped by Sirius, who simply followed Lucius' plan of action and kissed her until she couldn't think let alone speak.

"You know Lily," Sirius said blankly staring at the ceiling six hours later, turning on his side to look down at the object of his affections as she cuddled deeper in Lucius' chest, her back to his front. He waited for her to look him in the eye before continuing. "You really should learn to breathe between monologues."

'Bang.'

'Ooph!'

"Owwwie."

And so ends part 2 of How to stop a dark lord. There will be one more short where they take down Dumbles. stay tuned!