A/N: Hello again. I decided to write a sequel to "OMG! A Bug!" because all the reviews I got for it said the fic was good. This time, however, Link has to go face to face with his greatest fear… a Howling Stone! Enjoy!
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DISCLAMER: Sigh Oh I wish I owned the Zelda franchise… If I did, then Saria would reveal her love to Link in OoT, Link and Midna would have WAY more "moments" in Twilight Princess, and then Link would reject Midna and go off with Ilia thus losing his virginity with Ilia instead and leaving Midna heartbroken… poor Midna… losing her love because of what I would do if I owned Nintendo… I'm so evil I love it!
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OMG! A Howling Stone!
"Dooo do do do do do! Dooo do do do do do!" Link hummed as he entered Hyrule field. He didn't know why music started playing out of nowhere, but he seemed to love the music that was playing.
"Thank you, Gawd, for letting me hear this great music that will entertain me on this quest!" Link cried to the heavens.
"Your welcome." Koji Kondo yelled from above.
Link was so engrossed in humming the song that he didn't realize the big black wall in front of him.
"Link? Linnnnk? LINK!" Link's shadow, Midna, yelled. Link banged into the wall of Twilight and lost one of his four hearts.
"Owww…" he complained.
"And that's what happens when you don't pay attention." Midna told him. "So what important life lesson have we learned today?"
"To always pay attention…bitc-" Link started.
"Ok, just for that, were going into the Twilight." Midna interrupted.
"y-you mean with all those bugs?" Link said in a horrified voice.
"Yes, now let's go!" Midna yelled. Before Link had a chance to say anything, Midna pulled him into the Twilight. If you ask me, it looks like she was pulling him into bed… ANYWHO, Link transformed into a wolf again and felt the "thump" of Midna on his back.
"AWOO AWOO AWOOOOOO! (Hey, Midna, do you think you can go a bit lower on my back… heh heh heh…)" Link howled.
"What!? You perverted wolf!" Midna yelled at him. Link then received a well deserved slap on the head.
"Awoo? (You understand wolf?)" Link asked Midna.
"Yes, it's one of the Twili's three national languages: Twili, Hylian, and Wolf." Midna told the wolf. "I learned Hylian and Wolf in Princess School." She finished.
"Awoo, AWOOO!? (Wait, Princess School? Are you saying that YOU are the Twilight Princess!?)" Link howled in disbelief.
"Uhhh, I think I have said too much…" Midna said. (OMG! spoilers!) She then led Link into the house that you have to burn down, after getting the Vessel of Light of course. Link then stupidly lit the torch and the house caught fire.
"AWOO! AWOOOO! AWOOOOOOO! (AHHH! HELP! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! KOJI KONDO SAVE ME!)" Link howeled in terror. Zelda's Lullaby started to play out of randomness.
"AWOO! (Oh no, it's the annoying song of doom!)" Link sadly howeled. (A/N: After seeing the ending to OoT five times, I can say that that song is the most annoying thing ever. It must be #1 on Navi's top five songs. :))
"As romantic as this is, I'm getting the f out of here!" Midna told Link. She then left the room.
"Awoo. (Shit.)" Link howeled.
Hey, wait, he thought, that hole in the wall is my way out! Isn't that convenient? (A/N: It's true, Zelda games ARE too convenient.)
Link crawled outside only to find Renado the (sprit) shaman trying to get Midna to go out with him.
"So, you doin' anything tonight?" Renado asked in a seductive voice.
"Well, I had a previous arrangement, but I think he just died in that house over there." Midna said as she pointed to the now destroyed house. "So, as long as you're still a virgin…"
"Oh… about my virginity… well… you see… uh… crap." Renado said.
"Daddy, the evil things just killed mommy!" a voice called from behind.
"Daddy?" Midna asked.
"Well, yeah, that was my daughter…" Renado tried to explain.
"Sorry, I don't get into affairs." Midna told him. "Besides, you look like a girl and I'm not gay."
"h-hey! It's not like I CHOSE to look like this, number one, and number two, technically I'm not married anymore!" Renado cried. Link saw the whole conversation and started to growl. He then jumped at Midna and she screamed.
"AHHHH! WHAT THE F ARE YOU DOING!?!" Midna screamed as Link growled at her even more.
"AWWO!? AWOOO, AWOOOO!?! (What the hell were you doing!? Now, should I punish you or not!?!)" Link growled.
"N-no! Anything but 'punishment!'" Midna screamed
"Awoo, awoo… (So you do remember the last time you got punished…)"
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AND NOW THE ALL PREDICTABLE FLASHBACK
In the Forest Temple, Link had just gotten used to his bitch… I mean Midna. ANYWAY, they were about to kill the boss when Midna remembered something very important.
"Link, I think you forgot something…" Midna started to say.
"What is it?" Link asked
"Remember when you peed behind that pillar in the Mini-Boss room?" Midna said.
"Yeah…" he said, and then if you thought that he wasn't wearing any pants, you were wrong. He forgot the all important hat.
"OMG! MY HAT IS MISSING!! NOOOO! MY ANSESTOR IS GONNA KILL ME!!!" Link yelled. Midna chuckled a bit.
"You didn't forget you hat! I was just messing with you! Your hat is right here!" Midna said as she revealed what was behind her back. Link grabbed it quickly and put it on his head.
"You know what I need to do now?" He asked Midna in an evil voice.
"No, don't say 'Ni!'" Midna yelled in terror.
"No, I'm gonna show you a picture… a picture I paid one hundred, forty-three and seven tenths of a rupee (That's 143.7) rupees for…" He then revealed a picture of Midna and Navi having a sleepover.
"N-No! We can't have them think that Navi is my best friend! They'll actually start to like her because we're friends (it's amazing what media will do to you)!"Midna yelled as she tried to grab the picture.
"Ok, then, every time you try to pull one on me, you'll see this picture. So, will you ever try to pull one on me again?" Link asked.
"Yes, of course!" Midna replied.
END OF FLASHBACK
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"Don't show me the picture!" Midna yelled.
"AWOOOOOO! (ok, fine! But only if you never mention this ever again on this quest!)" Link howeled. They soon collected all the Tears of Light in Kakariko Village and made their way to Death Mountain. The duo then found a weird stone that was making strange noises.
"What the hell is that? It's scaring me!" Midna yelled.
"Awoo! (I'm scared of it too!)" Link howeled.
They then slowly approached the Howling Stone. They were both terrified when they heard the howling.
"OMG! A HOWLING STONE!" They both yelled (well Link howeled it… but you know what I mean!).
Link then thought, maybe if I howl the tune the stone is howling, them maybe it will stop! Link then started howling the Song of Healing. Midna was going to ask about what he was doing, but she realized that he was doing it to stop the howling. She felt like humming along.
In millions of basements around the world (on the dates of November 19 and 20.), many gamers were humming the all too familiar tune.
Suddenly, they were transported to a weird place. Link's instinct was to get out of there. The "A" button was telling him to stay and howl the tune he just learned. He did. He was glad to find that the golden wolf that stopped him in his tracks on the way to the Forest Temple was howling with him.
"T…a…k…e…" the Golden Wolf started to say.
"Awoo? (ummm, do you think you could talk normally please?)" Link howled to the fellow wolf.
"Okay. Take sword in hand and find me. I'll be at the Ordon spring, so, uh… I'm new to this… yeah, find me, OK?" The Golden Wolf said.
Link was then sent to the real world and found the rest of the Tears of Light. Light was now restored to the Eldin Provence! (Yippee.)
Link found himself in the Spring of Eldin. He looked up to see the children (Minus Ilia, which made him very sad.) and the shaman who tried to steal Midna away from him. Link growled.
Renado better watch his back.
THE END
A/N: And so, Link has met another threat on his journey and hilariously managed to kind of conquer it. The "OMG Spoilers!" joke is form Yu-Gi-Oh Crpsule Monsters. Watch it to understand the joke. The "Don't say Ni!" joke is from the all hilarious Monty Python and the Holy Grail. In the movie, there are these knights who call themselves the "Knights who say Ni" and annoy (and scare) everyone when they say "Ni!". So, um, BYE! (oh yeah, and review!)